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NASA Mars Press Briefing & "Significant Findings"
An anonymous reader writes "NASA will have a press briefing today at 2 p.m. EST to announce "significant findings". Salty liquid water maybe? Bacteria? This meeting will also be broadcast on NASA TV."
But I, for one, don't find that particularly significant.
Bow down before your Martian overlords!
Salty liquid water... bacteria... they didn't need to go to Mars for that, I have it right under each arm.
For Immediate Release: NASA in conjunction has forged a treaty with the Martian people, part of this agreement stipulates that they will no longer steal our probes for fun, in exchange, the USA has agreed to prevent the Brits from sending any more beagles.
Just because you disagree doesn't make it offtopic or flamebait.
Help, we run out of money !
They found Waldo? Or did they find Carmen Sandiego?
Darn. If it's broadcast on NASA TV, then there's no way on Earth (or Mars, for that matter) that it could possibly be anything of interest.... Forget C-Span, if you want boring TV just be sure to tune in to this.
The World Wide Web is dying. Soon, we shall have only the Internet.
They've photographed the Martian who destroyed Beagle II, and other prior landers.
Campaign finance reform is national security.
uh, thank you for coming, folks. we have, ahhh, found a place to send things today.....
if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
One of the chief scientists saved a bundle on his car insurance.
They've found the Beagle :=)
I swear, the closer you get to Kennedy Space Center, the less chance they will offer it.
Of course. If Kennedy Space Center isn't sold out by the Thursday before the week, Nasa TV is blacked out for all the surrounding areas.
Go Support your local space exploration!
http://use.perl.org
The Bugblatter Beast of Traal destroyed both of our Mars Rovers because we did not equip them with towels to wrap around their video cameras.
Check out the best P2P sharing website: MEDIACHEST.COM
Pressing news: later today, pressing news will be announced.
And maybe even the mysterious missing millions and millions of lines of sco code as well...
Yes, they found remnants of bacterial life and water but...
... not on Mars. The probes navigational systems malfunctioned and they spend the last few weeks driving around Nevada instead.
Hate me!
They found Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.
"Would you, could you, with a goat?" Dr Seuss
Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such Mars discovery videos as "So That is where My Car Keys Went" and "The Proper Classification of BEM Scat"
They found oil underneath the surface of Mars!! Haliburtan probe to be launched at 4pm Friday.
-- jimmycarter
Yep, here's the scoop. Illegal SCO code was found today, but it wasn't easy. They had to search Mars to find something.
No wait, that would be rather far fetched. I mean, it probably doesn't exist anyway. It's probably something mundane and obvious like water or proof of life.
DAMN. so close.
IP Therefore I am.
They've either found water, found life, or Spirit is flipped on it's back like a turtle right now.
Is there still time to place my bet on this one? $50 on Spirit being in a ditch and NASA needing millions to send a second one with a large magnet to pull it back out.
I'm placing my bets on Val Kilmer's robot space-dog.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
To ruin US surprise, France has released image of the announcement:
http://www.humour.com/Image/AffichageImage.asp?VI
"Guys. Really. Mars is REALLY boring." Says Scientist studying Mars.
... more ...ROUND THINGS! I mean geesh - you want us to just sit here and guess and dream about them more? Ask me last week, and I would have been able to give you 5 theories, but... I just don't want to play the game anymore. They're round things... really boring... round things. Just because they're red and uniform doesn't make them magic people! Hey - maybe they're altoids, great! Let's dream about that for a while!"
"It's not funny anymore guys! I was into the whole robot thing for a while. That was cool. But it's been like, weeks now, and the that time delay thing is REALLY getting to me." Says Mark McGraffy, associate technician on the Spirit & Opportunity Mars data-gathering projects.
"Look... see! There it is
Mr. McGraff then ran off screaming. More news as it happens.
Ryan Fenton
Sure. Earth was a 7 day contract. He did Mars to get some practice, and Venus out of curiosity ("Hmm, let's have more greenhouse effect"). Mercury, well, we all get drunk now and then. And as for the giant planets, He's still looking for whoever it was that misappropriated His IP.
(In my defense: Well, what do you expect with a story that says there's going to be a story...)
I think we should talk it up so much that whatever they announce it will be a big let-down.
isnt it obvious..
who do you think is the first linux user
SCO is suing..
You have 5 Moderator Points!
Which Helpless Linux zealot/MS basher do you want to mod down today?
A Big Black Monolith, 1x4x9.
Gator/Claria is Spyware.
What we meant to say was that Nasa needs significant funding. Funding, not finding. Sorry for any confusion, but since you all are here we are going to pass around these offering plates and feel free to give what ever you can spare.
Who said science can't learn from religion?
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
>>NASA will have a press briefing today at 2 p.m. EST to announce "significant findings".
(from the press conference:)
"The bad news is, no, we haven't found water."
"But the good news is, we just saved up to 15% on our car insurance by switching to GEICO."
"Hey, come back..."
[sarcasm]No. We here in America believe that what other contries do is benieth us. And therefore irrelivant to what we do[/sarcasm]
Now that's cool. I would really like to see if they could find something on comets. Hope I'll remember to check back on it in 2014...
"Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted".."He lived happily ever after"-Willy Wonka
The rovers found signs saying "go home yankee imperialists" and "free mars forever".
"As of 2PM today a seven figure sum has been wired to SCO Corporation for IP Licensing compliance purposes on the Linux systems we run.
SCO has graciously extended the license to specifically cover NASA systems located outside the United States of America and even on other planets and satellites. As soon as we have legally valid documentation from SCO we will be able to switch on our Linux based probes and start collecting results from the surface of mars.
Press release ends."
Magic Eight Ball: Outlook not so good., Hmmm, how about Excel and Word?
Yeah, it would have to be bigger than a microbe. Like maybe shai hulud.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
MARS NEEDS WOMEN!!!
They finally found Osama bin Laden. He's been on Mars the whole time!
They found AOL CDs no doubt. God knows that Earth couldn't contain them all.
First suspicion confirms
The "tuxedo Gun", the irrefutable proof for the existence of past tides on Mars, is one in the stones discovered sulfate connection, which can be formed only in the environment by water.
??? The "tuxedo Gun" ???
And here we have proof, that 80% of your moderators find green pickles and martians insightful.
Perhaps NASA TV needs to cover slashdot more often.
Norris/Palin 2012
Fact: We deserve leaders who can kick your ass and field dress your carcass.
You are not alone. This is not normal. None of this is normal.
Don't be silly. Everyone knows that the butt is on mercury.
Actually no. What they found was traces of SCO code on Martian soil. They are now wondering about the license fees.
What if they took a picture of a disturbed looking martian rodent? Hmm? Betcha didn't think of that! Haha!
This is the kind of stuff that makes slashdot so magical for me.
What they need to do is uncover some BEER and the place'll be half way decent! ;)
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