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Microsoft Eyeing AOL?
meriksen writes "This article on the CNN website suggests that Microsoft is looking to acquire AOL. What are the chances and do /. readers think this will ever happen?" The NY Post story is slightly more informative.
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'Nuff said.
But then I thought of the combined cluelesness of AOL and Microsoft support combined. Be afraid.
Gnusay -- for all your talking gnu needs.
AOL builds horrible, buggy software. So does Microsoft. They are a perfect fit!
Oh what a great couple that would make. I always knew there was something strange about this spring time...
On the other hand, this might also have its advantages. We wouldn't have to be anti MS AND anti AOL anymore because it would be just one thing or one enemy less.
It's like the Borg assimilating the forces of darkness from the Lord of the Rings.
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You mean they don't own them already?
Now I'll get viruses on a disc through the mail.
A-IMSOL.
(read each letter individually)
I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
Mass suicides?
Albuquerque PC
Let's just consolidate evil in one spot.
Bill G pretty much already owns SCO -- if MS and AOL merge, Slashdot will just need one "It's Evil. Laugh" icon for all three.
Hmm.... then we can put Apple, Java, and BSD under one "Yup, It's STILL dying" icon.
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
I note the EU had a disagreement with Microsoft. Does this mean an eventual purchase of Europe by the Redmond Conglomerate? So when is Bill Gates getting his reserved seat on the UN Security Council?
- Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
This would solve all the problems for spam in the world today.
* ^From.+(aol|msn).com
beautiful!
"You've got a BlueScreen!"
If it happens, we'll be able to find out once and for all if two wrongs really do make a right.
filmcritic.com - Movie reviews on Internet time
Miscrosoft may as well buy TW and have their massive content delivery system, which is one of the reasons MSN isn't doing well. After this can a merger with the Disney/McDonalds/Coca-Cola empire be close behind? McDonalds McWi-Fi or whatever is already "powered by centrino" whatever the hell that means, so they're already in bed with Wintel. This looks like the start of the sci-fi predicted super-corps that eventually replace the government. Blue Sun anyone? Where do i signup for the libertarian party...
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
...because of anti-trust reasons. It would be a monopoly on "sucks".
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Why would the Borg want to buy The Teletubbies?
In other news, Microsoft today announced plans to acquire the government of the United States. By leveraging innovative technologies, content providers streamline compelling enterprise solutions.
A Microsoft spokenperson commented, "By controlling what is arguably the most powerful government in the world, Microsoft will be able to better control the rights of consumers in regards to the company's valuable intellectual property." The first change to be made, according to Chairman and now Chief World Domination Officer Bill Gates, is to rename the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) to MRS (Microsoft Revenue Service). From now on, all tax dollars will go directly into Bill Gates' checking account.
Microsoft's acquisitions last week of the RIAA, MPAA, SCO, and the Equifax credit reporting bureau have empowered the company to supply the best operating system since Windows XP, enabling the multinational corporations next on Microsoft's acquisition list to gain a higher return on lawsuits against their own customers.
Microsoft stock climbed 90 points after the announcement.
That's a first.
You've got a vulnerability!
Oh wait...
The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. - Benjamin Franklin
New MSN/AOL Verson 6.66 With the new MSN/AOL you now recive the dumbed down internet from the biggest computer software companys that is above the law. You will be informed of updates though our Blue screen of udates. When you see the blue screen you need to update, no pop ups just a friendly blue screen to let you know that we care about you and there is a new patch ready. Don't worry about spam because no one wants email you anyway. Your new buddy list will have all of you AOL/MSN friends and one spot and file shareing has never been easyer with our new "back door" file server.
This Sig for rent.
That's a first!
Open source sig, feel free to modify and distribute.
*sniff*
I'm going to miss those free coasters and DVD cases.
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Your second mistake was trusting anything in the New York Post. Your first mistake was reading that schlock in the first place.
Something intelligent here.
I think they want to extend their monopoly to the market of failing ISPs...
"You've got updates!!!"
Calling atheism and agnosticism a religion is like calling bald a hair color.
That would just mean that MS acquires another incredibly stupid userbase to add to its millions - of course, they overlap, so there's _some_ cancellation. Not much, though.
Striking fear in the authors of godawful fanfiction, I am here, appearing in darkness, Tuxedo Jack!
Don't talk about Fight Club.
No matter how many of my rights are taken away, somehow I still don't feel safe. -Frigid Monkey
So when is Bill Gates getting his reserved seat on the UN Security Council?
Bill Gates? On Security Council? We're doomed!
You know, I always get nervous when I hear Bill's name mentioned in connection with word "Security".
“Wait for Hurd if you want something real” –Linus
And eventually they will merge with Sony to produce the American-Japanese company Microsoft-Sony. Not to be at all confused with Wayland-Yutani.
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming