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iPod: This Season's Must-Have for Muggers

Posted by pudge on from the it-just-looks-darling-with-your-ski-mask dept.

KH writes "West Midlands police have issued a stark warning to iPod users: ditch the white headphones or pay the price." Apparently, muggers recognize the headphones and target passersby for muggage.

57 of 993 comments (clear)

  1. Mugging by panxerox · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well people will kill each other over sneakers so to mug for an Ipod doesn't surprise me. From the article: "The Sun quotes one iPod representative as saying: "There are guys who?d rather be robbed than change the color of the headphones." " = Darwin strikes again.

    --
    "It's so convenient to have a system where everyone is a criminal" - A. Hitler
    1. Re:Mugging by sTalking_Goat · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm going to buy some white headphones for my 4lb 1996 Sony Discman. Maybe finally I'll get a chance to try out this new tazer I bought on Ebay...

      --

      My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle...

    2. Re:Mugging by Liselle · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, I guess that's one advantage of the iPod's high price. Since I'm not the type to carry around $400 in cash, I bought it with my CC, and that gives me a bit of theft protection. :P

      --
      Auto-reply to ACs: "Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
    3. Re:Mugging by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Indeed. If we ditch the white headphones, the robbers will have won. In the war against robbery, we must continue to wear our earphones and go on with our daily lives.

    4. Re:Mugging by lazuli42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Changing the color of the headphones won't help much. Muggers will just start targeting joggers that wear Blueberry, Tangerine, Lime, Grape, Stawberry, or Bondi Blue headphones.

      --

      "There's companies that are just so cool that you just can't even deal with it," - Bill Gates, about Google

    5. Re:Mugging by Beatbyte · · Score: 4, Funny

      don't be bitter you got mugged and lost your iPod ;-)

      --
      Get paid to code OSS
    6. Re:Mugging by Cpt_Kirks · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or pack it with C4 and a remote detonator.

      Get mugged, then help clean up the gene pool!

    7. Re:Mugging by Rallion · · Score: 5, Funny

      In all seriousness, I'd love a chance to really try out a tazer, even if it involved getting mugged. Really.

      "Give me your--"

      *bzzt* *thud*

      "AWESOME!"

    8. Re:Mugging by damiena · · Score: 5, Funny

      If you outlaw white earphones, only outlaws will have white earphones.

    9. Re:Mugging by selfabuse · · Score: 5, Funny

      just so long as his next words weren't going to be "license, registration and proof of insurance"

    10. Re:Mugging by Frymaster · · Score: 4, Funny
      You've obviously never been mugged.

      mugged? i thought the only people who ripped off apple was microsoft.

      --

      2 1337 4 u!

    11. Re:Mugging by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Lol. They should add this to those commercials...You know, shadow of a person dancing around with white headphones...Shadow of another person sneaking up on them...Wham! Talkin 'bout my generation!

      --
      ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
    12. Re:Mugging by Llywelyn · · Score: 4, Funny

      You've obviously never gotten a joke. It's something to look forward to.

      --
      Integrate Keynote and LaTeX
    13. Re:Mugging by Snocone · · Score: 5, Funny

      Here's an easy way to get the same effect.

      1) Locate a dairy farm that uses electric fences to restrain cattle. You can tell it's an electric fence because it's one thin strand of wire at waist height strung through plastic insulators on the fence posts, and the cows are giving it a rather wide berth.
      2) Walk up to the electric fence.
      3) Whip out your dick.
      4) Piss on the electric fence.

      This, I posit, will remove *all* further desire on your part to play with high voltage electricity. For that matter, it will take a fair while afterwards for you to regain ANY "desire" to "play", if you know what I mean and I think you do.

    14. Re:Mugging by Xeleema · · Score: 5, Funny

      just so long as his next words weren't going to be "license, registration and proof of insurance"

      No, especially if it's "...license, registration, and proof of insurance."
      Those identity theives are real clever.

      --
      "When I am king, you will be first against the wall..."
    15. Re:Mugging by facelessnumber · · Score: 5, Funny

      Nah, stun guns don't paralyze... I used one once. I've never seen my little brother get outta bed so fast in my life.

    16. Re:Mugging by Pig+Hogger · · Score: 5, Funny
      2) Walk up to the electric fence.
      Some 30 years ago, I spent the summer on a farm. Trying to get the best of the city boy, the redneck told me to have a grab at the electric fence. I walked to the fence, and made it look I had a really good grip on the wire by wrapping my hand around it, but not touching the wire itself.

      I stood there, taking my best innocent air, and staring at him like saying "now what"???

      He was puzzled, got off the tractor, and walked straight to the fence which he touched pretty intently.

      At that very moment, the relay decided to send a good charge which sent the redneck something like 3 feet up in the air, landing on his ass in the freshly ploughed field.

      He said nothing at all, and never played smartass again with me...

  2. mugging by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    thats how i got mine :)

  3. That's why by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I keep the mini-iPod in a ... hidden place... that's very snug. Muggers never look there, and really, who wants to pull the cord out of there?

    1. Re:That's why by DarkFencer · · Score: 4, Funny

      So that's why the iPod Mini sold out!

      I was wondering why people were paying more for less GB. I gues size does matter :)

    2. Re:That's why by Nom+du+Keyboard · · Score: 5, Funny
      I keep the mini-iPod in a ... hidden place... that's very snug. Muggers never look there, and really, who wants to pull the cord out of there?

      And you probably can't wait for them to add a sub-woofer in the next model.

      --
      "It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
    3. Re:That's why by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      The way your dad looked at it, this iPod-mini was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this iPod up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the iPod. I hid this uncomfortable piece of plastic and metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the iPod to you.

    4. Re:That's why by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or, keep that hidden place un-hidden. When was the last time a nudist was mugged in your neighborhood? Never? See, it works!

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
    5. Re:That's why by Cpt_Kirks · · Score: 4, Funny

      What happens when you fart?

      That's how you switch playlists.

    6. Re:That's why by the+argonaut · · Score: 4, Funny

      You sir are a cut and paste god among men. I salute you.

      Too bad you're an AC and can't get proper credit for your work.

      Almost shat out my iPod i laughed so hard.

      --
      fuck you.
    7. Re:That's why by ElYonderboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Too bad the battery crapped out only 18 months into the internment.

      So to speak.

  4. My iPod case holds pepper spray by The+I+Shing · · Score: 4, Funny

    This iPod-carrying bon vivant isn't going to hand over his beloved music player without a fight.

    I've hacked my iPod to shoot pepper spray! Ha!

    --
    You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
  5. The Next Apple Innovation by Nom+du+Keyboard · · Score: 4, Funny

    iPod -- with LoJack!

    --
    "It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
    1. Re:The Next Apple Innovation by Nom+du+Keyboard · · Score: 4, Funny
      Christ no! They'd call it iLoJack.

      And considering that it plays music, and Apple is known for frequent updates, would the next model be jLoJack?

      --
      "It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
    2. Re:The Next Apple Innovation by senatorpjt · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, because threatening a guy at knifepoint is one thing, but most criminals draw the line at pirating music.

  6. The solution to the dying iPod battery is ... by meshmar · · Score: 5, Funny

    let a mugger have it and have your insurance buy you a replacement.

  7. Muggage? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dude, I'm, like totally understanding of your verbage, but, like, there might not be others, that, like, know.
    But rock on, Dude! Awesome!

    1. Re:muggage? by sTalking_Goat · · Score: 4, Funny
      total Buffy speak.

      Next time I'm subjected to some muggage I'll whip out Mr. Pointy and deal out some slayage.

      And they claim language is dead...

      --

      My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle...

  8. Self defense by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about an iMace accessory?

  9. hmmm... by BattleTroll · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mugger: "Your I-Pod or your life..."

    Mr Benny: ...

    Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!

    Mr Benny: Hold on! I'm thinking!

    buhbumpbump...

    1. Re:hmmm... by LostCluster · · Score: 4, Funny

      Mugger: I SAID, your I-POD or your LIFE!
      iGeek: Uhm, what's the difference?

  10. Re:So it looks like by morelife · · Score: 5, Funny


    Even muggers recognize that the higher price of Apple hardware goes into quality.

    Most muggers don't realize they'll be replacing that little battery for $99 in a couple weeks' time.

  11. Re:Punishment... DEATH by Neil+Blender · · Score: 5, Funny

    By your logic, you should be put to death. You just stole some of my life because I read your inane post.

  12. the mugger catches you alone and... by lotsofno · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mugger: so is that an ipod you got there mate?
    Guy: uh, yeah. ::mugger takes out knife::
    Mugger: alright, hand it over. ::mugger takes ipod and runs off:: ::mugger comes back::
    Mugger: uh, you haven't had this for 18 months or so by any chance?

  13. Re:So it looks like by da3dAlus · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Most muggers don't realize they'll be replacing that little battery for $99 in a couple weeks' time."

    Then YOU apparently don't realize they'll just be mugging someone else in a couple weeks' time. Duh :)

    --

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
  14. RIAA by The_Mystic_For_Real · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wonder if the RIAA will sue these muggers for stealing copyrighted music? Knowing the RIAA, they are more likely to sue the victims for distributing copyrighted material.

    --

    _____

    Thank you.

  15. Re:make sure you actually have the ipod... by tanguyr · · Score: 5, Funny

    The mugger may get pissed and pop a cap in your ass when he find you only have an old walkman.

    depends on what it's wrapped in

    --
    #!/usr/bin/english
  16. Fun by wowbagger · · Score: 5, Funny

    One fake iPod case: $50.
    One receiver: $50
    One transmitter: $50
    One kilo C4: $150

    One mugger exploding when he runs more than 50 feet away from you: Priceless.

    --
    www.eFax.com are spammers
    1. Re:Fun by lrucker · · Score: 5, Funny
      What happens if you walk too close to malfunctioning Cell tower, putting out the trigger frequency.

      You get a Darwin Award.

    2. Re:Fun by pvera · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't think you want to blow one kilo of C4 from 50 feet away!

      --
      Pedro
      ----
      The Insomniac Coder
  17. RIAA Will Sue the muggers ... by lorenc · · Score: 5, Funny

    for stealing mp3's ....

  18. Just make sure not to mug this woman by j1ggl3x · · Score: 4, Funny

    or else meet certain death...

  19. Dear Hambone by Letter · · Score: 4, Funny
    Dear Hambone,

    This is a Slash-mugging! Close your browser and give me your laptop!

    Now!
    Letter

  20. This is stealing! by Lord+of+Ironhand · · Score: 4, Funny
    Do these people even realize that taking someone's iPod is stealing? Would you illegally download music from the internet? No? Then why don't you stop stealing(!) iPods?

    Oops, nevermind...

    Though I'm sure there's a Soviet Russia post to be made out of this...

  21. Police Intelligence...err... by thrillbert · · Score: 4, Funny
    Obviously it is easier for the police to "give a stern warning" than to use this new "bees to honey" approach at getting more crooks off the streets.

    Scenario:

    • 1) Send undercover officer wearing white headphones walking down street.
    • 2) Crook aproaches with knife, pull out gun from pocket where iPod is supposed to be and introduces himself.
    • 3) Profit!!


    ---
    Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
  22. Get some headphones by zakezuke · · Score: 4, Funny

    I want to get an Ipod and use my old pair of big ass 70s style radio shack headphones. big and bulky with the 1/4 inch jack and cover up your entire ears.

    http://www.radioshack.com/product.asp?catalog%5F na me=CTLG&category%5Fname=CTLG%5F007%5F003%5F004%5F0 00&product%5Fid=33%2D1176

    While they can be spotted at a distance, a mugger might thing I have a portable 8-track and not steal from me.

    --
    There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
  23. Re:Yeah, or the thief may have just asked... by Neil+Blender · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was robbed once. This guy asked me if that bulge in the back of my pants was a wallet. I said, "Why yes, it is." He then asked if it was full of money, to which I relied, "Loads."

  24. you know the story... by blackmonday · · Score: 4, Funny

    As soon as the mugger steals one, a newer cheaper iPod comes out for mugging the next week. The vicious cycle repeats infinitely.

  25. Re:Without a Doubt this Topic will Burn Through... by spood · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wow, all you have to do to get Insightful mods is ask for them? Don't forget to say please.

    Now will someone please mode me Funny.

    --
    ---- Just another spud server.
  26. RoTK by Aqua_Geek · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why do you lay your troubles on an already troubled mind? Can't you see we grow tired of your... malcontent - your... fearmongering?

    Too long have you watched my iPod. Too long have you haunted its backlight.

    --
    Disclaimer: This comment was generated by a Flock of Trained Microsoft Programmers for Aqua_Geek.
  27. just tape 2 $100 bills to your hat. by purduephotog · · Score: 4, Funny

    It will distract the mugger so that he demands your hat, and you will escape with your precioussssssssss ipod intact.

    This procedure also helps to hide ketchup stains on your shirt.

  28. Re:Punishment... DEATH by commodoresloat · · Score: 5, Funny
    and for the record, I said repeat offenders.

    Well, you did just post again.