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What's Geekier Than a Ferengi Bridesmaid?
gbulmash asks: "The newly updated "Star Trek: The Experience" at the Las Vegas Hilton not only offers thrills, chills, and a Borg invasion... It's offering Trek-themed Wedding Packages. You can be married on a replica of the Enterprise bridge by a costumed starfleet officer and have additional Trek characters as guests. I thought "how geeky", but then remembered the guy who paid $22,550 for Joaquin Phoenix's white armor from Gladiator , claiming he was going to wear it at his wedding. All this has inspired me to ask what's the geekiest or nerdiest thing you've ever encountered at a wedding? There was a thread on geeky party favors for a wedding last year, but this question goes beyond that... getting married by a Gandalf impersonator, a cake shaped like Cthulu, groom dressed as Darth Vader and his best man is a stormtrooper. I know tales like these are out there, so please share them."
My dad married his second wife in Vegas, by an Elvis impersonator, on April 1st.
;)
It's brilliant: if he ever forgets his anniversary, he can just say: "you thought I forgot? April fools!"
Asking your girlfriend to marry you in front of millions of geeks around the world...
First paragraph offtopic. I've seen every episode of Trek since The Cage and I eagerly await today's Enterprise new episode "Damage" with glee. But despite having seen close to a thousand episodes of Trek, I'm at a loss for words trying to come up with a good Ferengi joke! So I'll just be serious instead.
People hate tradition these days. The evidence is all around us. Religion becoming less popular, holidays and birthdays being chores and not celebrations, family reuinions being avoided, social events feared and loathed, etc, etc, etc.
So it's no surprise that the ceremony of marrying a man and a woman is being looked at the same way. People want to defy tradition. What better way to defy tradition than to get married in the most odd manner possible?
Of course many people are content to just get married without a ceremony, or with a tiny one. And some people are content to just follow tradition because they have nothing better to do.
You're right, I wouldn't steal a car. But if it were possible, I sure as hell would download one!
*ducks*
Stick Men
*ducks again*
Stick Men
Well, I asked my wife to marry me at the top of a ferris wheel... ...but at our reception, I juggled around her with a friend (juggling clubs).
But now things are rough (see journal)
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
You may now assimilate the bride. Or would the bride assimilate the groom?
...the fuck? You just made all that up? You, sir, have WAY too much free time on your hands.
Not having a friend who is a girl.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
But amusing none the less. I have a friend who attended a wedding where the groom's friends had a running inside joke that he was the cheap, miserly type. The wedding reception was typically lavish with all the trimmings except that at each place setting, under the silverwear - where McDonald's napkins. Got a good laugh out of everyone who knew the joke. The rest of the guests were a little perplexed though.
As for true geekdom at a wedding - closest thing I've seen is some of the groom's roleplaying buddies getting drunk and taking the microphone to tell anecdotes that happened in game. That was mortifyingly geeky but really had more to do with alcohol than actual geekdom.
In the Ferengi culture, females are not allowed to wear clothing. If your bride to be has the balls (no pun intended) to go through with a traditional Ferengi wedding, then you truly are marrying a goddess.
In related news, please invite me to your wedding. Thanks.
Yeah, I saw The Simpsons last Sunday too.
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
What do you get a mixed couple consisting of a Ferengi and an Elf? A set of Silmarils that they can sell to the highest bidder?
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
The renaissance-theme wedding with 60+ guests in full costume, or my wife making a renaissance wedding website shortly there-after. Or making renaissance-theme jewelery + website shortly after that. But of course, I suspected she was a geek before we married.
What were you expecting?
...she may demand a Betazoid wedding instead, where no one wears clothing.
My friend made me a best man in his wedding, and his brother got a medieval costume from the local costume place... everyone else had their costume hand made. His costume came with skulls, spikes on the shoulder pads, and fake battle marks with blood. It was tacky...
She and her partner wanted a fairy tale commitment ceremony, with me to do the honors, on account of my Ministerhood I got out of the back of the Rolling Stone. There were elves, fairies, a dragon, the witch from Sleeping Beauty, pirates and more, in addition to my Gandalfesque outfit.
I have some friends whose wedding ended with the celebration march from the end of The Empire Strikes Back. Too bad they weren't dressed like C3PO and R2D2.
I can't remember where I saw this mentioned (Fark maybe?), but here's some frightening pictures of a Klingon Wedding. *shudder*
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
Copied and pasted the funny wedding Klingon parts in epsiode 15x17 - My Big Fat Geek Wedding from my caption log:
...
Look--there they are!
They're going into multi-purpose room B.
That room has a dry erase board.
They could be doing anything in there. Anything.
Edna, the klingons have a romantic saying: ( Speaks klingon click-clack-style )
All: Aw...
Roughly translated, it means "I would kill the children of a thousand planets just to see you smile."
Aw... that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard, which is kind of sad if you think about it.
( Joints creaking )
Edna, I want you to marry me--right here and now.
If you marry me, we will honeymoon in nebulon five, also known as San Diego.
Skinner: No! Hands off my fiancee, wide ride!
Bart: Why are you dressed like catwoman?
Skinner: You... oh, they told me it was catman!
Comic Guy: Now prepare for some roughhousing.
Oh!
Oh!
( Joints creaking )
( grunting )
D-ohh!
( All gasp )
( speaking klingon )
Stop it! Stop it, both of you! Seymour, it's too late for you to win me back. This man worships me. He actually wants to be my husband.
Comic Guy: The female has made her decision. Prepare the feast of goldfish crackers.
Edna: I'm not marrying you either.
There are a million valid reasons, but which one did you pick?
We've had a great time together, but we're too different.
I don't understand.
It's like I'm DC comics, and you're marvel.
I understand completely.
I don't think I want to be tied down to anybody.
Take me to some real men.
( Squeaky-teen voice )
Homer: Would you marry me again?
Marge: Oh, it's very sweet, but I don't need a...
( school band playing "wedding march" )
Marge: Where's that coming from?
Homer: A band in a closet.
Marge: Every girl's dream.
Homer: And now, padre, if you would do the honors.
( Harsh klingon noises )
Marge: I do.
Homer: Marge, you just agreed to raise the kids klingon!
Marge: D-ohh!
Note: Captioned by media access group at wgbh (access.Wgbh.Org) and enhanced by me.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
It's just some bad fiction--don't bother with the journal entry.
Am I the only one who realizes that a Ferengi bridesmaid would have to be naked to be realistic? Female Ferengi aren't permitted to wear clothes!
This is probably just me but I find all of this really mortifying and stupid. I'm a big geek. I can count in klingon and I know backstories of Star Wars characters that appeared on screen for 2 seconds.
Still, it really rubs be the wrong way to think that people can be so into this that they will taint an important day like that with it. I mean really, you're making a promise to spend your life with someone and they basically make a joke of it. Why would you do that? It's supposed to be a solem occasion. Do you want to show pictures of that to your kids? Why not just dress up as clowns and get married by a hedgehog?
Get silly at your reception but the idea of getting married with lightsabers or in elvish really gives me the creeps.
Blaze a trail to the New World
Ew, just about anything I would have thought. How about a Ferengi blow up doll, at least it won't complain when you put a paper bag over its head.
A couple of my friends convinced me to get ordained so that I could marry them.
And since I'm an actual geek, that counts, right?
[Plug] If you need a non-religious 'minister' in Minnesota, Email me! I'm cheap!
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
I think it was April 26th, 1999, or shortly after. My fiancée and I were discussing when we should get married. My sister had a wedding coming up as well and we didn't want our weddings to conflict. I was thinking about this User Friendly comic and said "Well, we can eliminate May 19th, or none of our friends will be there."
My fiancée responded, "Well, we could have it May 19th, if we had it at the theater. . . ."
Went down and asked the local Edwards theater manager if we could have the wedding May 19th in the lobby. He had to check with Mr. Edwards himself, but we got the ok. People were already in line outside the theater.
I called the state for what was required to officiate a wedding. They referred me to the Universal Life Church, which I found offered on-line ordination. So I instant messaged a friend of mine at work and he went and got his ordination real quick, printing his certificate out at work (I think it still hangs in his cubicle). He agreed to dress as Qui Gon Gin and quote Yoda in the ceremony ("Do, or do not. There is no try.")
A friend of mine volunteered his for his wife, a very talented seamstress, to make our costumes. We set out to find the assorted props and such that we would need to complete the experience. I picked up a toy Han Solo blaster from Toys 'R Us. It was made of orange plastic. I used a black magic marker to color it black, adding a few highlights and scuffs.
We camped out overnight the last day, night and day before tickets went on sale. My boss gave me time off since he knew it was for getting hitched and all. We bought tickets for the first show after 5pm on the 19th (although a lot of the guests went to the midnight one too), so the most people could attend.
Everyone was in costume. I was Han Solo, she was Princess Leia and Darth Vader gave her away, Chewbaka was my best man while Boba Fett looked on. Jedis, with their lightsabers drawn, lined the isle. The ceremony music from the end of Episode 4 filled the lobby for the wedding march, and after the wedding we played the original celebration music from the end of Episode 6.
Then the manager let us all go straight to the theater to get good seats for the movie. No standing in line outside necessary (which some people had been doing all week). We lined up outside the theater while they finished cleaning it up. My wife and I walked down the line of guests and shook their hands. A reverse wedding line is much more efficient then a traditional one.
I ran to use the restroom before the movie started, and I ran into a guy who saw I was dressed up and said Did you hear someone got married out in the lobby?
"Anything is possible with enough programmers, time and pizza." (Substitute caffeine for time as needed.)
Friends whom I would have sworn were going to get married in full SCA attire or dressed like Imperial Stormtroopers have gone meekly to the altar in white dresses and tuxes because of pressure from family and the spouse-to-be. The wedding is traditionally the province of the bride, and paid for by the bride's family, and many a foot has been put down about wedding details. I imagine conversations something like this:
"Honey, I want to dress like Darth Vader for our wedding." "No, you don't, dear." "But I really--" "No. You. Don't. Dear." "...So, tuxedo with tails, then?"
"And then the minstrels are going to go down the aisle--" "Wouldn't you rather have a nice, traditional wedding?" "Well, SCA is really important to us--" "I'm not paying for my daughter to be married in some medieval Halloween costume."
I suspect many, uh, "creative" wedding plans have been scrapped in favor of domestic tranquility and financing. So when you do get a true geek wedding, it's because both partners are hardcore geeks (or one is very tolerant), and they are secure enough financially and in their relationships with their families to do things their way.
That said...if I ever do lose my mind and get married: Vegas. Elvis impersonator. Biker boots and a leather miniskirt. Then a wild night of drunkenness in which my groom and I frighten old ladies and wake up the next evening with no memory of what transpired. Ah, I have such a soft spot for fantasy weddings.
-Carolyn
Like Daddy always said: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
I thought "how geeky", but then remembered the guy who paid $22,550 for Joaquin Phoenix's white armor from Gladiator, claiming he was going to wear it at his wedding.
Sounds like he picked the right color to wear for his wedding.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
A wedding I went to in college had the bride dressed in a nice white business-like dress, and the groom in blue jeans, cowboy boots, and a button down shirt with no tie. The rest of the wedding party was dressed in kind. This was held in the biggest one of the biggest Churches in Lubbock, Texas, with the family and friends of the bride and groom in full attendance.
The bride's mother was not happy.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
As for a Ferengi bridesmaid having to be naked, who says it has to be female? I know of at least one woman who had her gay male best friend be her maid of honor. And no, he didn't wear a dress. He wore a man's suit, but in the same color as the bridesmaids dresses.
- Greg
Start a happiness pandemic
The man stayed comfortable but looking neat and got to take the mother's daughter and get freaky. Let the MOTB stew, he has to have at least one good day, and he has a whole lifetime to deal with the unhappy one. That's my kind of guy! must be a cow-geek, or a pickup-geek, or something.
Fascinating stuff you've written. I suppose you do have the right to critique my 10-minute hack job:)
Good luck with everything!
it is pretty cool, though a little short. haven't seen the new 4d show. they do have a nice display of memorabilia outside the experience, stuff that was used in the shows and movies. the giftshop and quark's bar were pretty cool. you can pick up some romulan ale there. ;P
the wedding thing looked amusing, and actually, it is pretty cheap so far as weddings go. plus there is lots to do in vegas other than gambling (i'm cheap so i'm not much for gambling) and most things are fairly cheap if you are staying in a hotel since they want to keep you there as much as possible to gamble...
Large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
When I was planning the music for our wedding last year, I set my "down the aisle" music to the theme from the Inner Light episode of ST:TNG. About a third of the guests caught the reference; the rest just wondered why we didn't use the traditional "Dum-dum-da-dum" (from Wagner's Lohengrin). I debated having our closing song be the Imperial March, but decided against it at the last minute ;)
Can we presume on the honeymoon Han fired first? =)
(I think star trek weddings are geeky in a very scary way, but that's a great wedding story that's geeky in a cute way.)
Asking the slashdot crowd...
I would say proposing marrage on Slashdot is way up there.
My wife and I said our vows in a traditional setting, but our reception was at Oriole Park at Camdem Yards in the right field warehouse. It was certainly more memorable than a typical hotel wedding reception.
------
www.moneybythenumbers.com
flamebait? that was an honest statement! sheesh. must that new-fangled revenge modding.
D'oh! That's what I get for posting in haste, forgetting I have a (small) profile. Thanks for not raking me over the coles.
Much geekier (and not in a good way) is the subservient third-world bride. As soon as a guy says his wife is Thai or Ukranian, I know he's some seriously fucked up goods.
After 2 years spent in Antarctica, what about a penguin cake ?
Non-Linux Penguins ?
There's an underwater hotel in Key Largo with wedding packages. You have to scuba dive to get down to the hotel. The notary public dives down to perform the service. I've been wanting to stay at the hotel just for the experience, it sounds fun. It could probably get a little claustrophobic though.
...for our wedding, I used my PowerBook for a slideshow, cuing the intro music as we walked down the aisle (to Hendrix's "Purple Haze", no less!) (slight digression -- I'm a major Hendrix fan and my family and wife allowed me this one request for our wedding.)
Said PowerBook also served as DJ, crossfading between our songs during the reception dance party, and even played our First Dance song. The PowerBook in turn, was plugged into the mixer, to some heavily amplified Marshalls. Who needs a DJ when you have a laptop?
The PC Weenies: 11 Years of Online Tech 'Too
Once, I got talking to a coworker about this. She said that she had anticipated this problem when she got married but they'd picked a venue to help them out. They got married on a small yacht with a maximum capacity of 17 passengers. When her Mom tried to add some out of state relatives to the list, she casually replied:
"Of course they're invited! But are you sure Auntie Debbie can tread water in her wheelchair?"
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
Then the logistics of it hit me. We never really went to sporting events and she would probably be more embarassed than flattered at having her face televised on a stadium screen. Some fancy outdoors/banner thing was a possibility, but weather was getting tricky and I wasn't sure I could count on it. I considered having her "find" the ring on a dessert plate or tied to a stuffed animal we won at the carnival, but the engagement ring I wanted to use was a family heirloom and I didn't like the idea of a stranger making minimum wage taking possesion of it.
In the end, I went more traditional. I talked her into taking a day off from work (she almost shot me down because of a deadline!) and took her to the Huntington Library, where we'd had one of our first dates. I proposed to her in the Rose Garden.
It must've worked. We're having our tenth anniversary next month.
"Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."
two Ferengi Bridesmaids.
SAILING MISHAP
Yup, that was the theme of my wedding. My wife stopped me at the black, monolith wedding cake though. It was large and rectangular, but white icing, alas. Sigh. But, my God, the reception hall was full of stars. :-) (No space suits - she nixed that one too)
The wedding was planned to happen in a park on the Saturday before Halloween. Tim arrived at the park in the radio station's Hummer from doing a remote show wearing his "The Tim Reaper" costume. It consisted of a skeleton unitard, a red satin cape, and devil's pitchfork. We were all stunned, but Jim explained he had brought his minister robes. He ran back to the Hummer zipped on the robe. We couldn't tell if he still had the unitard on because were distracted by the huge coffee stain on the front of the robe.
Despite all this, we were all happy our friends were married and domestic bliss was ensured. Then about 2 years later, my friend saw Tim at a local bar. Tim was telling another patron about marriages he had performed. He said he married a couple and forgot to file the papers for a year. My friend turned to Tim and said , "Hey, you married my wife and me two years ago." Tim quickly replied, "I know it wasn't you. I am pretty sure." ;-)
Come on, where's the Attention to Detail?
LOL
Dolemite
_________________
Save the World! Use a Quote!
I just wondered where the original story writers got the word "ferengi" from. In many languages of the east there's the similar sounding word "farangee", the name of leek (lat. Allium ampeloprasum). Coincidence?
--rhad
Slashdot needs to interview Natalie Portman.
I was at a Pink Floyd concert at the Oakland Coliseum, some years ago. As is custom, people like to sing along with the songs.
So imagine, the band wails "we don't need no education", then 40,000 Floyd fans drone out:
we don't need no thought control
In. Perfect. Unison.
The mind boggles.
He spent most of the ceremony trying to crawl under the seats to get out of the sun - it was an outdoor wedding on a warm day.
Afterwards, he posed with my wife and I for some of our wedding photos.
Request your free CD of my piano music.
If you see this sort of thing as defying tradition, that says much more about you and the circles you move in than it does about people in general.
I do think that in general, intelligent people are less likely to blindly follow tradition. That's another role for tradition, which is to tell unoriginal people how to behave. It's no surprise that some /. readers are making their own traditions.
Man, I missed this when it showed up (been working some 12 hour days). I got married 4/17 at a Peep Off wearing a tin foil hat.
But now this post has been up for days and only even geekier guys than me would be reading it.
riding round the world on an old motorcycle
Today's episode? I downloaded that 3 or 4 days ago. I might actually watch it next week.
I think this is another sad example of the results of our consumer culture. People can't define their lives by their own accomplishments or experiences, so they latch on to some franchise and derive their sense of existence from that.
Break away! Do something spontaneous! Define your own life. Don't let George Lucus, Steven Spielburg, John Carmack, Gene Roddenbery or anyone else dictate your existence through the fictions they create. If you like fiction, create your own. Make your own adventures. Be an individual. You'll be happier in the end.