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Our Man In Black

Posted by timothy on from the don't-trust-'em dept.

bot writes "A recent Slate article covers the onerous responsibilites of the Planetary Protection Officer. He is tasked with preventing contamination of earth by alien organisms, and 'forward contamination' (contamination of other planets with earth germs). There is also a published protocol (PDF link) for avoiding Martian bugs."

42 of 179 comments (clear)

  1. Ok... by cybermace5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    That would be the job to have, if only for the right to list "Planetary Protection Office" on your resume.

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    1. Re:Ok... by cybermace5 · · Score: 3, Informative

      BTW, something that should have been in the original submission: Planetary Protection Office website

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    2. Re:Ok... by Lattitude · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe someone nailed you with the "little flashy thingy", and you forgot.

    3. Re:Ok... by cybermace5 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, do I get a cookie then?

      *looks in Firefox's Cookie Manager*

      Oh yes I do!

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    4. Re:Ok... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Plus, the chicks love a man in uniform...uh, unless it's a Star Trek uniform, and you're there for the convention.

    5. Re:Ok... by moviepig.com · · Score: 4, Funny
      That would be the job to have, if only for the right to list "Planetary Protection Office" on your resume.

      Maybe not, since "protectionism" is ill-regarded nowadays. But it is an important step on the career path to "Interplanetary Tariff Collector".

      --
      Seeing bad movies only encourages them. Watch responsibly
  2. Wildfire? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Okay. Anybody suddenly thinking of the Andromeda Strain now? :)

    1. Re:Wildfire? by Gorobei · · Score: 3, Insightful

      The chance of an alien microbe getting a toehold on Earth is pretty much zero. Most every niche is filled by a lifeform that has four billion years worth of ancestors that didn't die before they breed.

      If a Martian microbe shows up, it gets eaten in 30 seconds by some terrestrial super-optimised (for earth) bug. The martian bug's super radiation protection, cold-protection, etc, just means it has misallocated resources for the terrestrial environment.

      Notice that people get infected by bugs that have evolved attacking animals similar to people (e.g. primates, mammals, some birds.) The nasty ones come from animals similar to us. We have little to fear from reptile bug, less from plant bugs, and nothing to fear from things that attack fungi. Martian bugs would be like tourists from Iowa trying to infect New York City.

    2. Re:Wildfire? by jandersen · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Apart from the fact that the worst flu comes from birds (which are more closely related to dinosaurs than mammals), that is.

      Your argument, while well formulated, is wrong - an organism isn't fundamentatlly better protected against microbes that are specific to their own species. The immune system is best at protecting against attacks from enemies it already knows from previous experience, it's as simple as that. That is why emerging diseases are so devastating.

      It is true that eg. a virus is best at attacking certain hosts, but as we have seen many times in the past, they can evolve and jump to another species, and we know of no reson why a virus shouldn't be able to jump between widely seperated species. We simply don't know.

      As for whether a Martian microbe would be able to get a foothold on Earth: there are places on Earth that might be favourable to it - a dry, cold valley on Antartica, for instance. Again, we simply have no knowledge about it. And while some - like the Bush administration - seem to be in favour of just rushing in and get stung, I personally think it is better to at least try to think a little ahead and avoid some of the most obvious risks.

    3. Re:Wildfire? by hey! · · Score: 5, Informative

      OK, IANAE but here goes.

      The chance of an alien microbe getting a toehold on Earth is pretty much zero. Most every niche is filled by a lifeform that has four billion years worth of ancestors that didn't die before they breed.

      Too optimistic, not based on actual experience.

      Examples: fragmities, cane toad, zebra mussel, weird and untreatable hospital infections. West Nile Virus.

      Actually, being highly tuned to a particular ecological niche doesn't protect an organism from anything but incremental changes in local fauna or flora. In point of fact, alien organisms (in the sense of from different ecological systems), if they can survive often end up growing explosively.

      Why? pertty much everything in a mature ecology is food for something else. Animals on the top of the food chain are food for microbes. Usually microbes aren't a limiting factor in an undisturbed ecosystem because these animals also usually have evolved a conservative reproductive strategy: modest litters at infrequent places. WHich is what makes top level predators easy to endanger.

      However, if you take an critter from the middle of the deck, or worse yet the bottom, their strategy tends to be predation limited or resource (therefore competition limited) or both, not reproductively limited. They are also limited by specific competitive defenses evolved by cohabitors of their particular niche. Which is why you don't see only one kind of critter or one kind of plant occupying a niche exclusively (which by your logic should be the norm), but usually there are many varieties predators, grazers, trees whatever, although one may be predominant. For example in the woods near my house there is both hickory and sumac, although they have overlapping niches.

      The problem with an alien organism is that if it is naturally resource limited rather than reproductively limited, and has resoruces to exploit in its new home, there will be no factor checking its growth until it consumes all of the available resources.

      I happen to work in the public health field, although I am not an epidemiolgist. We often remark that the unprecedently huge population of the human race is a microbe's bangquet. Space microbes do not concern me unduly, and the steps being taken by NASA seem prudent and sufficient. However we DO face potential threat from "alien" microbes that are released by ecological disruption. There are cases of permanent benign infections in remote populations that form a kind of symbiotic biological defense against incursion. Hanta virus definitely fits this pattern, it is possible the Ebola may as well.

      The destruction particularly of tropical habitat, with its greater biodiversity and fiercer competition, is a public health concern. These places in past were avoided by humans because they were "pestilential". People who explored these regions often came down with infections, usually malaria but very often some unnamed agent. In addition to the loss of biolgical resource, the things that are released by these incursions, combined with rapid global travel, should be a serious concern. Ebola is, in a sense, too aggressive to be a global danger, but a bug like the 1918 influenza in its characteristics would be very dangerous indeed. Expect over the next decade a number of new stories about novel tropical infections, hopefully none spreading too far beyond their origin.

      So, in short, from an ecological perspective your optimism is not warranted. Yes, the most likely situation is that a new bug will die out. However, if it doesn't die out it will very likely be a major problem, although not necessarily to human health.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  3. Men In Black by Hogwash+McFly · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't the Men In Black remove their fingerprints? But what if this guy makes a bomb that will kill us all?

    --
    Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
  4. But... by TexasDex · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...it's too late! The ailiens are already here! See?! They left this mark on me! I must do their bidding...

    --
    The Cheese Stands Alone.
    1. Re:But... by AaronStJ · · Score: 3, Funny

      "...it's too late! The ailiens are already here! See?! They left this mark on me! I must do their bidding...
      </sanity>"

      Looks to me like you actually closed your sanity tag well before the start of you post...

      --
      Stupid like a fox!
  5. You'd think I'd learn... by ibullard · · Score: 5, Funny

    First I find out that being a spy isn't all about gadgets and women. Then I find out being an archaeologist isn't all about running from traps and nazis'. Now I find out that protecting the earth from alien life forms doesn't involve talking to alien dogs and bug guns.

    WHY DO YOU LIE TO ME, HOLLYWOOD!!!
    *sob*

    1. Re:You'd think I'd learn... by trentblase · · Score: 4, Funny

      And apparently being a computer programmer does not entail hacking into the Pentagon ever couple days... right? ... guys? .... is this thing on?

  6. I want this job by unformed · · Score: 5, Funny

    What better way to pick up chicks than "It is my civil duty to protect you from alien lifeforms."

    1. Re:I want this job by Tumbleweed · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, and the neuralizer doesn't hurt, either, cuz, you know, "damn." :)

    2. Re:I want this job by Any+Web+Loco · · Score: 3, Funny
      To which the expected reply would be "Ohh! Ironic!"

      ;^)

  7. Removing fingerprints doesn't work by pklong · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Criminals have already tried removing their fingerprints already.

    The resulting lack of fingerprints and scaring is actually more distinctive than the criminals original fingerprints.

    --

    Philip

    Signatures are broken

    1. Re:Removing fingerprints doesn't work by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, some people really hate to wear gloves...

      Hmm. Wear some thin gloves while commiting the crime, or burn off my fingertips with acid... Hard choice. :)

    2. Re:Removing fingerprints doesn't work by Dun+Malg · · Score: 3, Informative
      Criminals have already tried removing their fingerprints already. The resulting lack of fingerprints and scaring is actually more distinctive than the criminals original fingerprints.

      What's more, the unique pattern of lines that make up your fingerprints actually cover much of hands. A good palm print left at the scene of a crime will get you convicted just as easily...

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
  8. Avoiding??? by El_Smack · · Score: 5, Funny

    "protocol for avoiding Martian bugs"?!?

    Didn't NASA just spend a couple hundred million bucks trying to *FIND* Martian Bugs? Crap, when a few ice crystals were found, JPL wet itself. Had we found an actual bug, who knows what kind of party would have been thrown?

    --


    There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
    1. Re:Avoiding??? by AndroidCat · · Score: 3, Funny

      So far, no one has noticed the big paper ring around Mars that says "Sanitized for Your Protection".

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      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    2. Re:Avoiding??? by nizo · · Score: 4, Insightful
      There is also a published protocol (PDF link) for avoiding Martian bugs.

      Sadly, at the rate we are preparing to actually send people to Mars and bringing them back, I am betting this won't be a problem for the current holder of the officer, or his next eight successors.

      --
      I Am My Own Worst Enemy
  9. Big problem... by Bigman · · Score: 4, Funny
    That meant not only protecting the Earth from extraterrestrial microbes that could cause disease, but also protecting other planets and cosmic objects from organisms native to our world.
    Well that's going to put a crimp in my plans for terraforming Mars & Venus.. Anyone want to buy some cheap land??
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    *--BigMan--- Time flies like an arrow.. but personally I prefer a nice glass of wine!
  10. at first glance by ErichTheWebGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought it said something to the effect of "he is tasked with spreading Earth germs to other worlds". Talk about spreading your seed!

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    bash: rtfm: command not found
  11. Forget the Mars mission by xs650 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Rummel has two primary tasks: to ensure that outbound spacecraft aren't contaminated with biological material from Earth "

    Humans are biological material. So much for the manned mission to Mars.

  12. Ants in the Apollo 11 Crew Quarantine Module by G4from128k · · Score: 4, Informative

    I think this person has an impossible job.

    Years later, astronaut Buzz Aldrin said in a television interview that the mobile quarantine trailer in which the Apollo 11 crew was isolated had one serious flaw: Ants appeared to be going into and out of the trailer (37). If there were any Moon bugs, they would have gotten out with the ants. -- from The dilemma of Mars sample return

    Add to that all the meteorites that fail to stop at the agricultural station on their way in, and I'd think the Earth is already pretty contaminated.

    I'm not saying that he should not try to reduce cross-contamination, only that its not an easy job.

    --
    Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  13. Re:Does NASA have too much money? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I don't think you quite get the jist of his job. Say a probe lands on Mars and brings back some rock samples to Earth. Unfortunately, the probe stepped in something nasty, and brought back Mars Anthrax as well.
    In addition, some benign fungus got attached to the probe just before we packed it up and sent it to mars. Unfortunately, the fungus is not so benign to the Martian plant life and wiped out entire ecosystems there.

  14. Trip to mars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    So what now? When I get back from my trip to Mars am I going to be met with a trafic jam and need to get my shipped checked for aliens hidding in the engine, and stashes of martian drugs?

  15. Re:Does NASA have too much money? by the+arbiter · · Score: 5, Informative

    1. No, bathing probes in radiation is not enough to sterilize them, unfortunately. 2. NASA's planning on sending back samples from space and from the surface of Mars. Better have a protocol and procedure by then! Pay some now, pay much more later.

    --
    Boycott everything - they're all trying to fuck you one way or another
  16. The Reason For Lies by notcreative · · Score: 5, Funny
    I think Mr. Nimoy said it best:
    The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies, but they're entertaining lies, and in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer...is 'no.' - Leonard Nimoy
  17. Solution for this problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    We should outlaw fingerprints! This way, only outlaws will have fingerprints!

  18. What kind of a position is this, exactly? by LithiumX · · Score: 3, Funny

    So is this guy considered a respectable functionary at Nasa who provides insurance over an uncertain but scientifically-possible threat? ... Or is he the guy who got stuck with the weird job? The sort of post they give someone who got caught stinking of the restroom one time too many?

    --
    Do not confuse "Freedom of Choice" with "Free Will".
  19. Mars Terraforming Debate by Voivod · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I saw him not too long ago since he participated in the Mars Terraforming Debate in Mountain View CA covered on Slashdot. It's great to see that NASA not only has someone on the job, but they are participating in public conversations about these questions. Very smart, funny guy. This must be one of the coolest job titles on the planet.

  20. First Draft of the Prime Directive? by David+Hume · · Score: 4, Informative

    The NASA Requirements for Protecting Life on Other Bodies could be the First Draft of the Prime Directive:

    As suggested by NASA's Michael Meyer, there is an ethical component to decisions we make as we move outward from our planet to explore other worlds. As such, NASA's Planetary Protection Advisory Committee has a bioethicist on it. The first cases of interaction between life from two worlds could happen as we explore Mars, or perhaps Europa. This will likely be limited to simple lifeforms. At some point we'll have to deal with more complex issues.


    As indicated, dealing with simple life forms does not present many of the issues addressed in the Prime Directive:

    As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes the introduction of superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation.


    --
    Only Women Bleed (Sex, Sharia remix)
  21. Worst jobs in science by farnerup · · Score: 5, Interesting

    This is #17 in The worst jobs in science list.

  22. Disaster by Luguber123 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Imagine what he's got to do to get fired from such a position.

  23. Heh. by Trejkaz · · Score: 4, Funny

    The resulting lack of fingerprints and scaring is actually more distinctive than the criminals original fingerprints.

    I'm not an expert, but I'd say when the criminal runs up to the cops and shouts "BOO!", that it pretty much gives the game away.

    --
    Karma: It's all a bunch of tree-huggin' hippy crap!
  24. This is outrageous by aled · · Score: 3, Funny

    I do program my own bugs, thank you very much. I don't think we need some outshored martians to do it.

    --

    "I think this line is mostly filler"
  25. Re:Does NASA have too much money? by quetzalc0atl · · Score: 3, Informative

    a friend of mine once worked at a place that does sterilization for hospitals. catheters, needles, that sort of thing.

    their treatments were extreme: ethylene oxide (nasty compound), cobalt 60 radiation, ultraviolet, antiobiotic sprays, you name it. they would place swabs of bacterial samples through out the items to see if indeed they were getting sterilized.

    the fact is, they were never able to kill everything; this is a well known fact within that little niche industry. there are simply bacteria that cannot be killed, end of story.

    so no, it is not simply a matter of "bathing probes in radiation" since it all depends upon how you define "sterility".

  26. Great job title, but bad for traffic stops... by Sam+Nitzberg · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would feel bad for this guy whenever he gets stopped by a cop......

    Cop: Are you are aware you were doing 45 in a 40 - zone?

    The NASA guy: ummm. no, but if you say so...

    Cop: Where were you going ?

    The NASA guy: home - I'm going home from work

    Cop: So, where do you work?

    The NASA guy: I'm the planetary protection officer - it's my job to protect the earth from interplanetary biologicals and contamination

    Cop: OK buddy, we're going downtown....