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How To Get Googled, By Hook Or By Crook
Mr. Christmas Lights continues: "So some folks in the SEO community decided to have a 2 month contest where they made up a nonsense keyword phrase (nigritude ultramarine), and they will award a iPod and a 17" LCD (big spenders, eh?) to whoever ends up #1 in Google a month and two months from now - read more contest details at Dark Blue's SEOChallenge and follow the progress at www.seochallenge.com.
As you can imagine, there will be all sorts of wild web pages out there - for example, take a look at this "optimized" URL for nigritude ultramarine : www.nigritude-ultramarine.com/nigritude-ultramarin e/nigritude-ultramarine.asp and I'm sure there will be plenty of other entertaining entries - you can do a Google Search yourself to see who's currently on top.
Note to Slashdot Editors: I have NOT entered the contest - buncha SEO pro's are involved and a hobbiest (at best) like me (who doesn't stray over to the dark side - I like Google! ;-) would get spanked."
How about posting an article on slashdot? That will get you on google in no time flat!
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Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
Are entries rejected from the contest if they are using dubious tactics? It's fairly easy to go about spamming links all over the place with the appropriate link texts and stuff like invisible text, which still aren't adequately detected.
Artists against online scams http://www.aa419.org/
Nobody cares about the rankings on froogle. Poor google.
where flamebait is +5 funny and funny stuff is -1 flamebait
The current 3rd result showcases the "Nigritude Ultramarine Fighting Force" who are "doing our part for the department of homeland security." Actually, I suspect they might be even more capable than said department...
He say 1 and 1 and 1 is 3, got to be good lookin' cause hes so hard to see...
I'm sure their techniques will cause google to make such tricks harder in the future. Many of you are familiar with people creating nonsense link pages to drive their own rating up and the various things google put in place to make this harder. Now they need a contest on how to get delisted, I still have a domain name that hasn't been used in 3 years that is in google.
:(){
This is the very first story in the Google topic BTW.
The IT section color scheme sucks.
It surely is a nice project with some very fancy prizes, but has anyone thought of what Google's response is going to be?! Wham! Thanks for telling us the techniques to beat our own system guys - we'll now be altering it so that this is no longer a problem. :S
But I think I ought to raise a problem with Google, which this contest simply serves to underline: Google is too easily gamed. After all, just take a look at what the bloggers have done for the phrase "miserable failure". All it takes is an aggrieved group of a couple of dozen individuals and they can push anything up the ranks of Google. It's not that hard to knock someone's rank down by a bit just by getting a bunch of people to delink them. When Google recaches, their rank falls...
nigritude ultramarine
Dark Blue being an advertising agent...surely the techniques of the winner will end up in some sort of ad scheme...
This should be obligatory reading, followed by this . It's amazing how many people are paying search engine optimizers to tell them what these links says.
Who gets the prize money then? :-D
Everybody, link back here!
It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
The main secret is to search for a certain phrase, and then analyse the top results. This tells you things such as if the phrase boldened up to 3 times in the page helps, but maybe, for example, if it is boldened more than 3 times, it isn't counted so effectively. The title, the META tags, the page, H1-5 tags, bold etc, all count. But you have to work out how many you can put before Google thinks you're just trying to boost your ratings.
Get your own free personal location tracker
Hack the contest. Googlebomb "nigritude ultramarine" to http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/05/09/184021 7 . That's this article, stripped of all the other crap.
I'm planning on doing it, and I'm not a Google monster, but I'm not a Google slouch either; I have a pretty decent amount of Google juice for a one-man site.
Note that mostly likely, links from Slashdot to Slashdot won't count any, so no point in linking in comments here.
It is a good thing that no google engineers read slashdot.org, and that even if they did, they would never want to mess up a competition between people who professionally abuse their service regarding who is best at it...
If I were google, I would wait until the day before the deadline and then link the top hit for nigritude ultramarine to google.com.
In fact, to help them, I suggest that everybody who thinks that "SEO pros" are a life form somewhere below pond-scum and above spammers, ought to help them. nigritude ultramarine.
I suppose doing something legitimate... like selling a successful product with this name attached... is out of the question? ;-P
Don't think of it as a flame---it's more like an argument that does 3d6 fire damage
and I'm the second result. There's no secret for getting ranked high when your web-site doesn't suck. You just let Google do its thing.
"DirectX SDKs" and I'm on the first page of results. Although it's going to the Distribution section (pay per CD) instead of the SDK download section which is free access.
"Digital Black Market" also gets me a spot in the top 20. I used to be ranked higher on that one.
Before the site wide overhaul I was ranked 2nd when searching for "Driver Library" but if you're looking for a specific file and I have it, I'll get a top ranking.
Google is currently reindexing my site. It'll probably be another month or so before everything is indexed as well as it was before. Last check there was about a half a million files on the web-site.
Domain, directory, file name, content is about the general chain of importance for getting a high ranking.
Ben
Work Safe Porn
The whole point of a "search engine" from day one was to help connect people with what they are looking for. To that end, the HTML "META" tag was invented, so that you could give keywords relevant to what your page is about.
Enter the marketing scumbags. They just want as many eyeballs to see a page, whether it's relevant or not. And so, in short time, the META tag became completely meaningless. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Google ignores the META tag completely.
And so Google started checking links, because if somebody links to some page, it's probably useful.
Cue the marketing scumbags again. Tons of fake pages with fake links, all intended to fool the search engine.
And so they keep trying to find new ways to fuck around with Google and all us people who just want to find what WE want rather than what some marketer wants.
And in typical marketing scumbag fashion, they call this let's-screw-google nonsense "optimization".
God I hate marketers. They're worse scum than lawyers, pimps and pushers IMNSHO.
the famous Weapons of Mass Destruction.
We might as well be discussing a rule for eliminating "dubious" entries from a contest for who can pull off the biggest stock fraud scheme.
What comes to mind is a strip of the old comic strip "Ernie". This strip has a running gag about a local group called the "Pirhana club" which has a yearly "Pirhana of the Year" contest which is literally a yearly award to whichever of the members can be the biggest sleazeball.
There's one character in the strip named "Uncle Sid" who wins the contest every year. He's just that much of an asshole.
One year, as the Pirhana of the Year award approached, the strip chronicled various members of the club working overtime to get the award. Sid, though, did nothing, just sitting in the bar, oblivious and drinking while the other members of the club bragged to him about how they were certain to win this year.
And on the strip on the day of the award ceremony, the readers were shown various members of the club around the room, explaining to the person next to them why they're certain they're going to win. A member of the city council brags about demanding kickbacks from an orphanage to retain their funding. A doctor brags about defrauding patients by charging them for surgery he anesthesised them for but did not perform for nonexistent ailments. A used car salesman brags about selling a set of totally nonfunctional cars to a nunnery. And as the announcer calls out "THE WINNER.. IS.. SID", the camera pans to Uncle Sid explaining to Ernie that he stuffed the ballot box.
The next strip simply showed the other lead contenders confronting Sid and demanding to know, "How did you win? What did you do?" And Sid responds, "I cheated. I stuffed the ballot box and bribed the judges."
The disheartened response, after a brief pause was "Damn, you're good."
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
1.) Do the Google search
/. hordes.
2.) Click on the "Dissatisfied?" link
3.) Complain to Google about all the spammers.
Only you can stamp out spammers.
Show Google the power of the
nigritude: Blackness; the state of being black.
As alluded in the "Note to Slashdot Editors" (thought they would prune that), I first want to emphasize I have NO relationships with the folks running this content - I just think it is hilarious, although it will certainly provide some insights into how Google works, and we'll see all sorts of whacky things from the SEO pro's - again, I am not one of 'em.
Second, I hadn't thought about Slashdot ranking 1st for the contest as some have suggested - now that would be a crackup! Unfortunately, Slashdot won't allow you to place in IMG tag in a post (a requirement of the contest is a small image on the page), plus I'm not a member of the SearchGuild, so I'm not elgible ... maybe Cmdr Taco or Timothy need an iPod and/or 17" LCD - go for it! ;-)
Third, you know the folk at Google have gotten wind of this contest, and if I were them, I'd put a link on the main page to their own nigritude ultramarine page. I.e. Google should NOT tinker with their algorithms, but with a link from their PR10 main page, that certainly should shoot 'em up in the rankings. I gotta wonder if the pre-IPO Google would do this - we'll see with the "new" Google ;-)
Fourth, I appreciate some of the comments from folks about my Christmas Lights and the Christmas Webcam with webcontrol (yes, you can turn the lights ON and OFF via the web) which actually been on Slashdot before - in fact, you can read my Slashdot Effect Analysis from last year. I assure you it should be MUCH more interesting this year, as due to some multi-threaded optimizations, I think I'll be able to reduce the throttle from minimum 5-second updates to 1-second updates. I'm going to have to be REALLY NICE to my neighbors, 'cause it will be quite the flickering light show in December/2004 ... although I usually fire it up for a test-run in October as part of my Halloween Decorations and Lights.
alek
P.S. One thing slight off-topic is the Google Compute project which I thought I mention to those Slashdotters with idle CPU time that want to help the Stanford Folding@Home project - this really is a good cause.
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
One easy way to grab attention is to intentionally inject commen spelling errors into your webpage.
I don't recomend this. As easy and as tempting as it is Google feeds the correct spelling.
On that note I do get the highest ranking for "Linux Destro" A mispelling of Linux Distro (Not for long.. Noticed the error and plan to fix it.)
Now for a funny.. Take a look at the winner for the correct spelling.
It's not RedHat.
I don't actually exist.