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Best Results From Bartering Computer Services?
silicon not in the v writes "Last night I was over at some friends' house. They had cable modem with no firewall and tons of spyware, etc. on their system. They complained about all the popups and how bad it was that they were afraid to let their kids on the computer, so I set them up with ZoneAlarm, Ad Aware, and Firefox to get it cleaned up. In return, the husband, who is a chiropractor, gave my wife and I a free adjustment. What other interesting services or benefits have people been able to get by bartering IT/programming services?"
I will fix your computer in return for one of these.
What other interesting services or benefits have people been able to get by bartering IT/programming services?
Beer. And lots of it.
--saint
Isn't this the story line for some cheap porno film??
Well my comp sci teacher lied to me. Apparently, you can't barter computer skills for sex. Bastard!
This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
About all I've ever managed to get for helping my friends with their computer troubles is their recommendation to their friends to bug me to help them. A losing proposition all around.
Not more than you need, just more than you want
...I have this friend who is a proctologist and he was having computer problems and...
This way to the egress...
"I'm here to fix the comptuer."
"It's in the bedroom."
"This is going to be a long, hard job."
"Maybe my roommate can help."
I fixed computers for hundreds of women. I think one of them later smiled at me. Sure she was nailing my jock roomate, but I still think I came close to losing my virginity...
maybe if you gave them linux you could've gotten the "happy ending"
You could just name this story "I am a geek and married".
Lisp is the Tengwar of programming languages.
What if you get sex for bartering computer skills? Would that be prostitution? Do you have to itemize? Can you deduct it? I'm intrigued.
I have this neighbor who works at the NSA. He isn't really the bartering type. He, instead, prefers ominous threats.
Anyway, one day he walked over to my house, knocked on the door, and demanded that I help him get all the crap off his computer. Since he's never too nice to me, I asked him why I should do this. He said if I didn't he'd make me an NSA test case for subdermal tracking devices. Empty threat, I thought to myself.
Well, I was wrong. Now I have the black vans that seem to track me at a distance. They do a good job of staying out of sight, but I know they are following me. I guess I'm comforted by the fact that someone, somewhere knows my neighbors IP and what web sites he visits.
I fixed up my pastor's PC, and in return he has saved my eternal soul. :)
Yep you heard me.
Actually, I was going to get the sex anyways, the small perl script was just what I did to prolong the sex.
anyone wearing that shirt rightly deserves the social ostracization that will ensue.
Photos.
[woman in nightie]: ...but I don't have a hard drive...
*bow chica bow bow*
Hades, PoD: Official Advocate
[ex girlfriend] I'm having problems with my PC, I keep getting popups and it freezes all the time.
[me] That stinks...
[ex girlfriend] Would you come over and fix it for me?
[me] I'm kinda busy lately...
[ex girlfriend] I'll make it worth the trip
[me] Leaving now!!!
...and it was really gwood, too!
Last night I had some geek come over to my house who wanted to install some crap on my computer. I let him, and in return I got to fondel his wife. I called it "adjusting".
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
cookies, and... My Little Pony stickers...
Dear Penthouse Letters,
....
I never thought I'd be writing to you, but
Get off my lawn.
It was supposed to be about love, but in the end it wasn't. C'est la vie.
At least she didn't give you a virus.
--You will rephrase your request for me to go to hell. Goto statements are not acceptable programming constructs
I think he means free as in speech.
Why do I keep typing pythong?
So I guess he bartered christian services for MS Office development and support services.
A sad state of affairs when a minister barters with the devil...
--You will rephrase your request for me to go to hell. Goto statements are not acceptable programming constructs
No kidding, a year or so back my mother's boyfriend asked me if I could come over to one of his friends house to fix a problem he was having with his computer. It was about 8 or 9 on a Sunday evening , my only day off I might add, but I said "sure". After hearing a description of the problem I determined it was Blaster so I loaded up my trusty pen drive with the removal tool and Ad-aware. After spending 45 minutes removing blaster, patching, removing around 300 bits of spyware (according to Ad-aware),and defragmenting I figured the guy was going to hand me a twenty or possibly even a fifty (he owned a used car dealership) for doing all that work and making it to where his computer was usable again. What was my grand reward for taking over an hour and a half (this includes driving time) of my time on a Sunday night? A yummy bottle of Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink. The sad part is that if I had killed him I would be considered the criminal.....
Well, big deal...
After "fixing" a computer for the government I get my taxes for free.
Beat that...
Ps. In case you work for the FBI, disregard the statement above.
was this a girls dorm for college or a middle school?
Someone has to make the comment...
Are you sure you got a good barter out of that?
As a happily married guy myself, I say this with a lot of humor.
I did some work for an adult DVD company and thought it quite amusing when the proprietor said of payment when we were negotiating:
"Cash or product?"
'Thats they exact same thing a banana wrench monkey.'
Thats what my girlfreind gave me for fixing her pc, does that count?
:)
Now if only her twin sister had the same problem
GPLv2: I want my rights, I want my phone call! DRM: What use is a phone call, if you are unable to speak?
A classic:
A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know.
"It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..."
"Tell us!"
"Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"