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SCO Announces Product Line Updates

Posted by timothy on from the lifejacketed-rats dept.

ArbiterOne writes "Techworld has the story: SCO has unveiled their upcoming product plans, including a new release of UnixWare and a version for point-of-sale devices. Oddly enough, the article states that 'SCO's continuing Unix intellectual property lawsuits against IBM, Novell and others is apparently putting customers off.' I wonder how that could have happened?"

54 of 383 comments (clear)

  1. SCO Has Products? by Ridgelift · · Score: 5, Funny

    The SCO Group has produced a new-product road map and an aggressive marketing plan to try and recharge its flagging core Unix business.

    SCO actually produces a product?

    --
    Ruby on Rails Screencast
    1. Re:SCO Has Products? by svallarian · · Score: 4, Funny

      I hear they're the number one producer of bullshit in Utah!

      Steven V>

      --
      I patented screwing your mom. But it got revoked for "prior art."
    2. Re:SCO Has Products? by SIGALRM · · Score: 4, Funny

      SCO actually produces a product?

      In a sense, SCO itself is a product...

      ... of AT&T, Novell, Linux, IBM, etc...

      --
      Sigs cause cancer.
    3. Re:SCO Has Products? by iabervon · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, SCO produces road maps and marketing plans, and well as other sorts of press releases.

    4. Re:SCO Has Products? by somethinghollow · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, they are selling the general public a load of shite / lies / FUD about Linux. I guess if you box it up, you could call it "UnixWare" and watch no one buy it.

    5. Re:SCO Has Products? by _Sprocket_ · · Score: 4, Funny

      It only makes sense. Darl has pointed out that he's a cattleman. And if there's one thing a cattleman knows about, it is the byproducts of cattle.

    6. Re:SCO Has Products? by Pfhreak · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, Orin Hatch is the number one producer of bullshit in Utah.

      --
      The U.S. Constitution needs to be ammended with a "separation of business and state" clause.
    7. Re:SCO Has Products? by JDevers · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's true...I would imagine the market potential of the shit might actually be better than Unixware....

    8. Re:SCO Has Products? by corngrower · · Score: 2, Funny

      Does that mean we can expect their next lawsuit to be filed against Rand McNally?

  2. So by FictionPimp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does this mean they actually have developers? Or did they just up the product version number?

    1. Re:So by ari_j · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't you think they're a little underqualified to be changing version numbers? That'd break all sorts of dependencies. It's much easier to keep the same version number and just put it in a different box.

    2. Re:So by ajrs · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, they just upgraded the GPL software they ship with their old stuf

  3. From the book... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...of How to Run a Successful Business for Dummies...

    Rule #1: Don't sue your own customers!

    I mean it's that simple

    1. Re:From the book... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...of How to Run a Successful Business for Dummies...
      Rule #1: Don't sue your own customers!

      Bought any music lately?

    2. Re:From the book... by peeping_Thomist · · Score: 4, Funny

      Bought any music lately?

      No. I think that was the original poster's point.

      --
      Anything worth doing is worth doing badly -- G.K. Chesterton
  4. SCO's new product... by jadenyk · · Score: 5, Funny

    A new kind of lawsuit.

  5. And a brand new ... by Nom+du+Keyboard · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...and a brand new lawsuit strategy. Sue everyone with computers! After all, just because they haven't used Linux yet doesn't mean they won't someday.

    Hey, it has worked for Direct TV and smart card programmers.

    --
    "It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
  6. Conincidence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. SCO announces new products.
    2. Linus announces new kernel updates.

    So that FedEx package with CD-ROMs from "anonymous insider" finally arrived at OSDL?

  7. Those Bastards by Paulrothrock · · Score: 1, Funny
    Man, those litigious bastards really shot themselves in the foot this time. Of course the actions of those litigious bastards is going to put off their customers, especially when their customers use the litigious bastards' competitors.

    litigious bastards

    --
    I'm in the hole of the broadband donut.
    1. Re:Those Bastards by gl4ss · · Score: 1, Funny

      wouldn't it be funnier at this point start a google bomb thingy that would link "asshat" to sco?

      or "gay sex"(sorry gays).

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
  8. Mega hurt? by stecoop · · Score: 5, Funny

    Funny. When I went to read this article. The Add at the top of the page shows a shirless (maybe naked) guy setting behind a desk with the flashing caption Megahertz. I believe its an omen of what its like to work at SCO.

  9. well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    it just makes sense that point of sale devices use a p.o.s. operating system right ?

  10. Money back guarantee by beef3k · · Score: 5, Funny

    Missing footnote:

    "Due to our current ongoing lawsuits (which, admittedly, we're not so sure was a good idea in the first place anymore) SCO can only offer a limited money back guarantee of 3 days from the intial purchase date at this time.

    See you in hell,
    --
    Darl"

  11. More IP by WhitePanther5000 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Next they'll probably buy ownership of the license for dosemu which means they practically own MS-DOS which means they own the IP for Windows 9x which has a similar GUI as Windows NT based versions.... so technically they own Windows. Maybe they'll sue Microsoft and win this time.

  12. lol... I've seen these at staples by enrico_suave · · Score: 2, Funny

    new DIY Baseless Litigation kits by SCO in the legal form section =)

    e.

    --
    Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
  13. Updates to what? by TheLinuxWarrior · · Score: 2, Funny
    SCO LawSuit 2.0???

    erm...No thanks. I'd rather poke my eyeballs out with rusty paperclips.

  14. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Linux kernel 2.6.7 just came out so... :-)

  15. Re:SCO has a product? by Chmarr · · Score: 2, Funny

    +1 Funny, Hilarious, Satirical

  16. Re:SCO has a product? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Having looked at their products, they are very impressive.

    You need to look harder. They've stagnated for years now, this is like microsoft having been selling Windows 95 for the last 10 years, and only now coming out with a preview of Windows 98.

    I'm glad they can impress you. Truly. And if you thought that was good, look out your window and see the dog with the fluffy tail... that's gotta make your YEAR.

  17. Thanks slashdot! by 222 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That headline caused me to shoot coffee out of my nose, you insensitive clods!

    1. Re:Thanks slashdot! by The+Wookie · · Score: 4, Funny

      That headline caused me to shoot coffee out of my nose, you insensitive clods!

      The same thing happened to me. The scary thing is, I don't drink coffee.

  18. So is this version 1.01 of.. by bigdady92 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Linux Lawsuit?
    IBM Cease and Desist Investigation?
    Redhat Repo?
    Autozone Demolition Derby Arena?
    Novell "You THOUGHT you owned UNIX" Naysaying?

    --
    Wheel of Time: Book by Book and Sumview (summary review) Bigdady92 style: http://bigdady92.blogspot.com/
  19. Should I sue SCO or Opera!? by vijaya_chandra · · Score: 3, Funny

    When I clicked on the link pointing to the sco site mentioned in the post, the browser said

    The server's certificate did not match its hostname. Accept?
    www.sco.com

    While I was thinking as to whether or not to accept it wondering about the $699 for my linux system, the browser continued loading the page without any problem even before I accepted it.
    Is it some clever *coding* on SCO's part or a problem with Opera!?

    Now!! Whom should I sue!?!

    (OK!! I'm willing to spare the 699 bucks for the higher returns)

  20. SCO's new software releases: by humungusfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Baseless Accusations v1.01
    Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt v9.421 (previously acquired from Microsoft)
    Lack of Evidence v2.2

    --
    No sig.
  21. Top 5 reason for Unix over Linux by 0ddity · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does anyone find the top five reasons to choose Unix over Linux as listed on the SCO page incredibly funny? Especially item number 5.

    #1 SCO UNIX® is a Proven, Stable and Reliable Platform
    #2 SCO UNIX® is backed by a single, experienced vendor
    #3 SCO UNIX® has a Committed, Well-Defined Roadmap
    #4 SCO UNIX® is Secure
    #5 SCO UNIX® is Legally Unencumbered

    1. Re:Top 5 reason for Unix over Linux by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      #6 I find it extremely ironic that their webserver runs Linux, not UnixWare. :-)

  22. UnixWare is great! by nule.org · · Score: 5, Funny

    7.1.4 now comes with 27% more lawsuit!

  23. FUD! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    I heard SCO's new product family contains Linux intellectual property (but I won't tell you where), and if you buy it, you (the end user) has to pay the Penguin $699 for each system you install it on!

    More seriously: can it be audited to insure it doesn't contain GPL'd technology?

  24. Too easy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Must... resist... joke...

  25. Re:article by asr_man · · Score: 5, Funny

    * UnixUnderwear 7.1.4 (now slipping)

    * Bigfoot embedded (in mouth)

    * SCOorifice Server (pounding away on clueless customers)

    * Urban Legend (code name for the next release of OpenServer)
  26. SCO's New Product Line: by Eric+Damron · · Score: 2, Funny

    1. FUD on a stick
    2. Bogus law suits in a box. (Discounts given to existing customers.)

    --
    The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
  27. Bad timing by hkb · · Score: 2, Funny

    Damnit! And I just bought 20 $699 SCO Linux licenses to replace our existing SCO UNIX infrastructure!

    --
    /* Moderating all non-anonymous trolls up since 2004 */
  28. For once, SCO gets something right: by mindstrm · · Score: 2, Funny

    "UnixWare 7.1.4 -- A major upgrade to the UnixWare product line, 7.1.4 includes many enhancements that continue to keep UnixWare as the most reliable, stable, scalable and affordable operating system in its class."

    Now, I must say.. I agree with that totally! Finally, SCO Understands.

    UnixWare is SO SHITTY that it's in a class all to itself.. nothing else is even close. As far as ultra-shitty operating systems go... it's the most reliable, stable, scalable, and affordable. ;)

  29. Employment opportunities by miltimj · · Score: 2, Funny

    In case you're looking for a job, you can work for a high quality company. Here are some of our openings:

    Accounts Payable Accountant 26 May 2004
    (to many bills, not enough income)
    Senior Software Engineer 13 Jan 2004
    (location: New Delhi, India)
    Inside Sales Manager 09 Jan 2004
    (we don't have Outside Sales Managers because nobody outside our company uses our products)

    View Details Online

    --
    "Truth is not decided by majority vote" consensus gentium -- Norman Geisler
  30. It comes... the death of SCO by MacBorg · · Score: 3, Funny

    I mean, honestly, who would buy anything from a Slimy Corporate Oriface?

  31. Damn. by MachineShedFred · · Score: 2, Funny

    I almost forgot that SCO existed again. Then, you slashdot people had to post another story!

    Can't we just let SCO slip into oblivion? Don't ruin it for me!

    --
    Slashdot still doesnâ(TM)t support Unicode after it was added to the HTML standard in 1997.
  32. Re:Time to close the shop by Half-Baked · · Score: 2, Funny

    that would be like the US sending troops to Vietnam to "regain Hanoi"

    Don't give Bush any ideas!

  33. Re:Aren't they just saying "We screwed up"? by IGnatius+T+Foobar · · Score: 2, Funny

    UnixWare 7.1.4 and the new Smallfoot embedded Unix products are shipping now

    Wow, the GNOME project stole code from SCO too? What will we learn next?!?!

    --
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  34. Re:There is a lot of competition in Utah... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Are you sure? Did you get the memo about no coffee, no booze, no masturbation, no premarital sex?

  35. Re:Famous last words? by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

    We um... have the documents here... we just have to convince the judge to let us read them out of... um... THIS HAT! You see, we put the documents and the runestones in the hat and then the letters glow and decipher to English, then we can read them to the court! Dum dum dum dum dum!

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  36. From their product list ... by kitzilla · · Score: 2, Funny
    Smallfoot embedded UNIX (now shipping)

    Ah ... that's not a Smallfoot, that's Novell's foot. And we all know where it's embedded.

    --
    This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
  37. Re:Actually by BgJonson79 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mass. has blue laws, too. And NH has road-side, state-run liquor stores all over the border. Thanks for funding our public education, guys!

    --

    There are four boxes used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order.

  38. New Product: Linux by ryen · · Score: 3, Funny

    this comes questionably close to the release of the 2.6.7 Linux Kernel.

  39. Well, they NEED to update their product... by praedor · · Score: 2, Funny

    Because the current product doesn't include linux kernel code. SCO needed to update their OS so that it includes linux kernel code so they can then claim that linux is STILL violating their IP because, "See? There is still SCO code in even the newest linux kernels!".


    They have to try to maintain their sole source of income of late (stupid companies that cave and pay for their bogus license to run linux).

    --
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