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Microsoft Developing Linux Policy, Plan of Attack

Lil' Bobby Gortician writes "This new MSNBC article talks about Microsoft's developing strategy to deal with Linux. They are actually getting some of their sales people certified as Linux experts, and say 1/10th of their test servers now run Linux. My favorite quote? "There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness"."

37 of 845 comments (clear)

  1. Soon to be greatest sigg'd quote evar: by bigdady92 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness" -Microsoft

    I can see it now...

    --
    Wheel of Time: Book by Book and Sumview (summary review) Bigdady92 style: http://bigdady92.blogspot.com/
    1. Re:Soon to be greatest sigg'd quote evar: by maxwell+demon · · Score: 2, Funny

      I can imagine that Linux makes Microsoft mad :-)

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  2. Aha! by rde · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's been at Microsoft since college and rattles off techie jargon like value proposition and customer sat (short for satisfaction) like any seasoned Microsoftie.

    Techie jargon? I think I've found Microsoft's problem.

  3. All roads lead to madness? by Noryungi · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sure.

    And this should be written on all boxes of Windows:

    Abandon all hope, ye who are about to open this.

    WinXP SP2, anyone? ;-)

    --
    The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
    1. Re:All roads lead to madness? by Prof.Phreak · · Score: 2, Funny

      ---Where would you want to go today?

      Well, madness of course!

      --

      "If anything can go wrong, it will." - Murphy

  4. All roads lead to madness by Alien54 · · Score: 2, Funny
    So what microsoft is up against is a growing community of mad scientists, inventors, and other innovators in league against them?

    I can imagine the cackling laughter now ....

    MMMMWWWAAHHHH HA HA HA HA

    --
    "It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
  5. Um, The Windows APIs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, there's a really startling lack of self-awareness in the statement that there's no set architecture to Linux and that all roads lead to madness.

  6. Madness? by nagora · · Score: 2, Funny
    Yes, looking after a network of MS machines is like a real-life Little Book of Calm...

    TWW

    --
    "Encyclopedia" is to "Wikipedia" what "Library" is to "Some people at a bus stop"
  7. good advice for MS fans by pohl · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think Microsoft is setting an excellent example that happy customers (and fans) of Microsoft should imitate: learn everything that you can about Linux. Install it on your PC. Intentionally break your configuration just to practice fixing it. Install new hardware and figure out how to get it working no matter how much it seems like torture. Find free equivalents to software that you would normally run under Windows, and live with them for a while even if it means sacrificing features or quality. Absorb as much of this knowledge as you can, and share it with your other Microsoft-loving buddies. And once you all are as conversant in Linux as are those people who are choosing it over Windows, you'll be able to more effectively lobby against it...beacuse you'll be armed with knowledge. Never mind that you'll be helping the Linux culture to spread. Hey, look over there...it's an angel, and she's giving away free bacon!

    --

    The "cue the foo posts in 3, 2, 1..." posts will commence with no subsequent foo posts in 3, 2, 1...

  8. MS officially announces madness is now renamed... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    ...windowsupdate.com.

  9. Re:pattern by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    "First they kill you, then they mummify you, then they put you on display in the Smithsonian, then you win."

  10. Microsoft vs Rest of World by shoppa · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Linux is a different kind of opponent. It's not a company to bash, but a software movement with the backing of the entire tech industry.".

    So now the whole world is out to get Microsoft. Isn't such paranoia a classic schizophrenic symptom?

    1. Re:Microsoft vs Rest of World by gnarlin · · Score: 1, Funny

      Not when the rest of the world really is out to get them ;-)

      --
      A bad analogy is like a leaky screwdriver.
  11. Re:Innovation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "The studies are generously referenced in an advertising campaign dubbed "Get the Facts." Can Linux really handle crucial areas such as security and e-mail?"

    Yep Linux can't handle such things, but Microsoft can! Just look at their flawless track record.

  12. "new feature" by leperkuhn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Heh, here's a good "new feature"

    Allchin points to new features in the version of Windows due in 2007 that will allow users to remotely turn PCs on or off

    My dear lord they are innovating at an exponential rate! Quite possibly next they will unleash "a pointer device cabable of interacting with the screen."

    --
    http://www.rustyrazorblade.com
  13. Re:Not so easily manipulated by flewp · · Score: 3, Funny

    And a genius would know how to spell ;)

    --
    WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  14. It's a simple strategy... by ayjay29 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Microsoft are just going to hire about 20 high-class escort girls and covertly target them at the most important open source developers. The costs involved in this strategy will be peanuts compared with the total devastation it will bring upon the open source community, which will be left completely defenseless.

    They have already started a trial program. You have been warned.

    --
    Offtopic, Inflammatory, Inappropriate, Illegal, or Offensive comments might be moderated up.
  15. Re:But also don't forget... by MikeDX · · Score: 5, Funny

    if MS decides to "nuke" IBMs Linux plans, trust me, IBM can "nuke" Windows as well.

    With winuke.exe ?

  16. Re:Innovation by fubar1971 · · Score: 3, Funny

    We actually would record audio files and then transfer them to the Sun Workstation and play them remotely.

    Nothing would beat the reactions of newbies in the lab when their workstation would seem to talk to them and say:

    "Newbie, don't do that newbie".

  17. Pointy stick! Pointy stick! by clickety6 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Allchin points to new features in the version of Windows due in 2007 that will allow users to remotely turn PCs on or off

    It's a 5m long pointy stick for jabbing at theon/off button - yay!!!

    --
    ----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
    1. Re:Pointy stick! Pointy stick! by Kafka_Canada · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's a 5m long pointy stick for jabbing at theon/off button - yay!!!

      A finglonger?

      A man can dream...

      --
      Fuck it
  18. Quotes by manavendra · · Score: 3, Funny
    (warning: This is a inflammatory, trollish post. Mods, please mark it that way)

    They are actually getting some of their sales people certified as Linux experts
    So at least they will be expert in *something*. Some day these very skills may bail them out.

    1/10th of their test servers now run Linux
    Smart move then! Less down time, less security hassles...

    There's no set architecture in Linux
    So they accept there are architectures in Linux? Conversely, they acknowledge Linux is smart enough to have different architectures for different components/modules, and understands that an OS is not a straight-jacket one-size fits-all thing?

    ..All roads lead to madness
    Which is why they are embracing that madness and studying it? ...

    (aah, this feels good!)
    --
    http://efil.blogspot.com/
  19. even better quotes: by randyest · · Score: 2, Funny

    Linux at some point could be good enough to run home PCs.

    Oh, we can hope, right? Holy cow that's nonsense.

    Can Linux really handle crucial areas such as security and e-mail?


    Yeah, email is tough. Maybe if we study OutLook really hard, we can make something so great . . . sigh.

    "I just want the decision to be based on facts, not religion," says Taylor. "People are saying, 'It's not Microsoft, so it must be great.' Tell us what Linux does that we can't do. Don't tell us you're deploying Linux just because you can."


    Well, one of the answers is one of the "crucial areas" mentioned above. I bet you can guess which one.

    Microsoft is actively sowing uncertainty and doubt among potential Linux customers over who, if anyone, owns the intellectual property behind open-source software.


    What, no Fear?

    At a recent gathering of venture capitalists Ballmer went so far as to suggest Microsoft might own intellectual property in Linux and assured the audience that Microsoft would pursue any violation of its own patents. Before he spoke, a fire alarm went off. "It was eerily symbolic," says a venture capitalist in attendance. "We all scattered." Microsoft denies this, and says it will not litigate.


    Ruh roh.

    Windows group chief James Allchin accuses Linux of being a cheap knockoff: "There's no innovation. Linux is still in the business of cloning existing technology." Allchin points to new features in the version of Windows due in 2007 that will allow users to remotely turn PCs on or off, with programs still running. Searches will extend across all data like e-mail, photos, Word. "We're creating things," he says.


    Undeserving of a reply.

    --
    everything in moderation
  20. Best Quote by BrianWCarver · · Score: 5, Funny

    From the article:

    "Linux at some point could be good enough to run home PCs."

    I'm sitting here with my fingers crossed, biting my lip, hoping for that day!

    Oh, this message written on Debian Sarge, current uptime: 31 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes.

    HA!

    --
    Like Digital Freedoms? Then donate to EFF before they're gone.
  21. Work already on progress by kilimangaro · · Score: 2, Funny
    Allchin points to new features in the version of Windows due in 2007 that will allow users to remotely turn PCs on or off
    The "off version" part of the project is code-named SASSER
    --
    "Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule." - Nietzsche
  22. I've not been keeping up with the news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "just as Microsoft has gone through a wrenching transformation from a combative bully to a mature corporate citizen "

    When did this happen? I must not have been reading slashdot on that day.

  23. Talking points by mdemeny · · Score: 3, Funny

    What they really need is a Republican strategist to come up with talking points:

    -Linux is a flip-flopper (is it command line or GUI? Could they make up their minds already?!)

    -Eclipse sounds French. VisualStudio is a good, strong American sounding name.

    -Linux starts with the same letters as liberal.

    -These damned hippies always want a free ride (and they keep talking about 'free as in beer' - are they alcoholics?).

    Of course, we at Faux News are only reporting on what other people are saying about the leftist-pinko-commie operating system. We're totally fair and balanced on the issue of non-patriotic, foreign-made, non-capitalist operating systems.

  24. For Your Information by pdamoc · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft already has a Linux version: MSLinux

  25. Human stupidity by rvw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Einstein said once: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." And I'm afraid he's right...

  26. 1984 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    He claims to have shed a tear the first time he saw Microsoft's most recent TV spots featuring kids dreaming of being future astronauts and painters.

    "Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother." - 1984

  27. Re:How many quit reading after... by wraith0x29a · · Score: 2, Funny

    I didn't get that far as the page did not display properly in Konqueror. Funny that.

    --
    ~ Better a freak than a sheep. ~
  28. Let's not degenerate into a political discussion by A+nonymous+Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Please, keep the prez out of this.

  29. 10% of Microsoft test servers run Linux! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    i think we should be thanking microsoft for beginning their migration to the GNU/Linux platform. i'm sure when they see the lower TCO, stability, and security of their GNU/Linux test servers, they'll move the rest of them over too!

    is it unfair to have a headline: Microsoft migrates to Linux?

  30. Re:"Architecture"!?! by jrumney · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, but they all run on the same architecture - i386. With Linux, you've got the confusion of ia64, ppc, sparc, mips and a whole lot more architectures to deal with. Research conducted by the Alex de Tocqueville institute shows that the highly qualified MCSE system architects of this world do not want to deal with this choice of architectures, and would rather have their decisions handed to them on a plate.

  31. Stupidity beats greed. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Any day, hands down.

    There's simply no comparison.

    Not everyone is greedy, not everyone can be greedy, even willfully. But the wisest of the wisest has its moment of foolishness.

    There's a reason it is said "a fool soon loses his gold" instead of "a smart guy gets a fool's money".

  32. Re:Innovation by EnderWiggin99 · · Score: 2, Funny

    MS Bob comes to mind....

  33. Re:But also don't forget... by redog · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, but the real question is who has more bandwidth?