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What's the Worst Movie You've Ever Seen?
prostoalex asks: "A recent Ask Yahoo! article talks about the worst movies ever made and points out this IMDB list of the bottom rankings. The Ask Yahoo! article names Manos The Hands of Fate the worst one, but apparently the IMDB table changed since then to include The Wild World of Batwoman at the top of the list. What would you consider the worst movie ever made? Perhaps anything listed here would also make the list?"
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Pretty much anything featured on MST3K could be considered for the "worst... movie... ever..."
The very worst movie of all time
Gigli.
Frink: Nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do.
Almost any of the SNL movies minus Wayne's World, Blues Brothers, and Office Space (started as a short animated SNL skit).
It's Pat
The Ladies Man
A Night At The Roxbury
Superstar
Stuart Saves His Family
Mr. Bill's Real Life Adventures
Coneheads
Blues Brothers 2000
Now a Sprockets movie... that would have kicked ass...
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...was, of course, "Titanic". Not just the worst *movie* I've seen, but the worst *three hours* of my life. Dental surgery is a lot more fun, for example.
:-(.
Then I clicked the link for top gross...
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Highlander 2 should be there it was exceptionally bad.
Please cease and desist with your criticism of Battlefield Earth. This movie, based on a book by L. Ron Hubbard, is a masterpiece AND a true story. It also stars one of the two best actors of all time John Travolta. (The other actor is Tom Cruise.)
Thank you,
Scientology Lawyer #783 - Alien Name: X'narl'anguna
It lacks in every category imaginable: overdone, boring, drawn out fights, CG that makes "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" look good, pointless character cameos, and the worst performance in the history of film by Brian Thompson as Shao Khan.
"Foolish... [searches for line he forgot mid-sentence] child! [Looks back at production crew, checking if they're going to cut or not] You sorely test my patience!"
or
"The Earth was created in six days! So tooooo, shall it be destroooooyed!!"
Wow. You're pretty sheltered if that's your idea of a bad movie. Try out the recent Dungeons and Dragons movie (circa 2000 or so, IIRC) and then get back to us.
Have we finally come to the point where we must Ask Slashdot to Ask Yahoo?
Have a look at the IMDB bottom 100 and search for "police".
I'm sorry, but M Night Shyamalan's movies are full of just absurd plot holes. You mean to tell me that you've got a race of creatures that are capable of traveling through space, but they can't figure out how to break through a door? That those same aliens apparently lack any sort of telescopic device that would show them the Earth being covered in water ? How the hell do you miss that ? That a life form that reacts violently with water is cabale of surviving in an oxygen based atmosphere that is heavily saturated with water vapor? That when faced with an army of invading aliens, you would choose to lock yourself in your basement rather than heading towards a military base?
Even if you just look at the movie for its message, it's still retarded. You're supposed to come out of that thing thinking like 'oh there was someone looking out for them all along' - of course there was someone looking out for them -it's a movie! It wasn't 'god' that killed Gibson's wife and then set all that stuff up so that the aliens would die - it was M. Night Shyamalan, who wrote the script for the film. Of course it all worked out just right. Gah!My blog
Okay, dude, you're missing the point! There are movies that are bad because they don't appeal to your taste... after all, there are those who quite enjoyed Moulin Rouge (and myself didn't mind it). OTOH, this topic is concerned with those very special movies out there that really are truly, universally, absolutely horrible.
Batman & Robin has to be the absolute worst movie ever. Sure there are similarly campy, idiotic movies out there, but the amount of money wasted in making this horrible movie makes it a bigger insult.
Tim Burton's Batman movies were cool. Joel Schumacher just totally ruined the franchise. When I saw Batman whip out his "Bat Credit Card" in the middle of some crazy rave party with dancing gorillas, that was the moment when it was clear that Batman had clearly jumped the shark.
"Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it." -- Linus Torvalds
Agreed. I was about to post this and found that someone else had a like mind.
Everything about the movie was terrible, but what's worse is the artsy crowds who pretend to like it for some deeper meaning and the types who act like you're a prude if you don't embrace the sexually adventurous and "open" nature of of the film.
I mean - what the fuck? It's a shitty movie. Period. Bad acting, bad plot, half-assed film score and just duller than hell. Three's nothing sexy or sexually revolutionary about it. I couldn't help but wonder how much of the movie was changed after Kubrick died.
And for people who claim that if you don't like the movie, you're just too narrow-minded and simple-minded to appreciate fine art and abstract films, let it be known that I absolutely LOVE Lynch and films like Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway. But they're in a category of their own compared to this piece of shit film.
I'm sure I've seen worse films than Eyes Wide Shut - but what makes it the worst is that, unlikely many other films, it was made by a master and was supposed to be some great pinnical of cinema. It had a higher pedestal to fall from than other bad movies. It started out higher than they did and plummetted as low or lower than any of them.
Oh - and as for the film score, one of the main musical themes was actually a famous piece of music played backwards. I wish I could recall what the original was.
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity is the worst movie ever.
It has all the plot and character development of pornography plus all the sex and nudity of the 700 Club.
-Dave
But...it is an awful lot of fun to use the lines in everyday conversations. For example: yesterday, someone came up to me and asked if I could tell them how to retrieve a file from backups.
My reply: "A man animal learning how to retreive a file from backups?!? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" And then I swished around my dreadlocks, put my six-fingered hands on my hips, stood proudly in my three-foot stilts^Walien boots, threw my head back and laughed some more.
Hours of entertainment, I tells ya...
Carousel is a lie!
I think the line "I think he's going to pork her dad!" made the whole movie worth it :)
Here we see the importance of punctuation. The actual line was "I think he's going to pork her, dad!". By leaving out the comma, you're giving the wrong impression to people who haven't seen the movie.
Why mod anyone down in a topic about asking what you think is the worst movie you've ever seen? So, if someone said Star Wars Episode 2 would you mod them down as a troll too? Because I'll say that.. Attack of the Clones sucked donkey balls. George Lucas should be ashamed of himself. Man, that's why I like Fark better.. no idiotic moderation system. If you post something bad enough then it just gets deleted, but here the moderators will basically delete your posts (mod them below 1) because they don't agree with your opinion. That's pretty fucked up.
Badmovies.org has quite a good list. Of which 'elves' appears to be my favorite
As a huge fan of bad movies I have seen Manos about 15 times. It is the worst made movie in every way. Nothing went right. It is like a train wreck, so horrible you CANT look away. It was financed, written, directed and starred a fertiliser salesman. 'Nuff said.
What post? The one you're carrying inside your rusty innards!
You must be British to make that kind of understatement.
d er/skin/anally abuse-every-motherfucker-who-had-a-part-in-the-cre ation-of-it-just-to-get-that-chunk-of-my-life-back genital wart on the vulva of humanity.
What it actually was was a radioactive lump of dogshit, a sucking black hole from which no entertainment can pass the shit horizon, a words-fail-to-capture-how-happy-I-would-be-to-mur
where is the "I feel for ya, but that's some funny ass shit" moderation?
Mod parent down as ogre^H^H^H^H^H troll
Life is like a sewer; what you get out of it depends on what you put into it...
Really, I saw AA#17 in a theater, at the end there wasn't a dry hanky in the house.........
... until you have seen a Godfrey Ho ninja movie.
;p
Godfrey Ho's business plan:
1/ Take random unknown unfinished Asian kungfu movie
2/ Add Western actors in ludicrous ninja suits
3/ Try and connect the two totally disconnected storylines (hilarity ensues)
4/ ???
5/ Profit!
For starters, Ninja Terminator and Ninja Thunderbolt are true classics. Nothing can beat Richard Harrisson using a Garfield-shaped phone or throwing shuriken at crabs in his kitchen, not to mention Jaguar Wong kicking a 4-inch stone 300 yards away at the baddies
Words aren't enough to describe them. They aren't mere movies: they are a life-redefining experience. Go rent the DVDs and experience them yourself!
Do not however make fun of ninjas - for they are the one true Real Ultimate Power!
Because Shrek is generally accepted as a funny, quality movie packed into a tight 90 minute package. If you don't like the movie, it's a matter of poor taste, not poor production.
That's not the point though. This particular post is asking for people's opinions, and poor taste or not, his opinion is just as valid as yours is. You can't ask for somebody's opinion and then mod them down for giving it simply because you don't agree with it.
Without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen.
Why mod anyone down for that comment?
Because Shrek is generally accepted as a funny, quality movie packed into a tight 90 minute package. If you don't like the movie, it's a matter of poor taste, not poor production.
Let me get this straight. If someone says something that contradicts the general consensus, then they must be a troll?
I know it is hard to imagine, but there are actually people out there who think for themselves instead of just repeating the party line.
He could be a troll, but the only way to tell would be to actually know what he thinks of Shrek, something which is basically impossible.
I don't know why but I love Hackers. I think we all know that it doesn't have anything remotely resembling real hacking in it, but that's not the point. To me it's a film that piles on the extra cheese and makes fun of itself at the same time.
The cast isn't bad at all - Johnny Lee Miller pulls off an American accent quite competently and Jolie makes for good eye candy. Matthew Lilard, Jesse Bradford and Renoly Santiago all put in adequate performances too.
Hackers is a mindless nineties throwback with some great lines thrown in. It has one of the best soundtracks I've heard to date: two great tracks from Prodigy (One Love and Voodoo People), the beautiful Halcyon & On & On from Orbital, that nineties classic Connected from Stereo MCs and some Urban Dance Squad thrown in too.
"Check it out it's got a 28.8 bps modem!"
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
In this specific case I'd tend to agree with the claim that it was a troll, but not for the same reason.
What caught my eye was the comment that the animation looked like a beta version of A Toy Story, and unless he was viewing a test-copy of the rendering for the movie, that statement is simply untrue and an obvious clue to the intent of the poster.
The point I wanted to make was that without evidence like that, there's no real way to claim for sure that he was trying to be an ass, even if the movie is widely accepted as "good", perhaps relevant experiences in one's own life would lead them to strongly dislike it. Who knows.
Isn't there some Slashdot rule about complaining about what your girlfriend makes you do?
--
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." - Homer Simpson [1F10]
Absolutely. I went to see it with my (now ex) girlfriend because of the rave reviews it was getting all over the media. The only thing that did for us was getting me horny and she sleppy. Bad, bad combination (*cries like a little girl*).
Dude, Denise Richards was in it. Plus, there was blood, gore, and some boobies.
:P
Those factors right there were worth it.
here was actually more depth to it than commonly perceived
Yeah, like co-ed showers!
If you didn't like the movie, fine. All I can say is that it cast a spell over me (and my wife). Somehow the movie felt like watching a dream. I don't know exactly why that was, but it totally sucked me in. Since I can't explain it I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, but it's an experience I'm very glad I was open to and had the chance to experience.
I guess you can label me a moron, or a art-house junkie. If we met and had a chat I doubt you'd continue to label me as such. But I just liked the way it made me feel.
Oh, I had been married for many years when I saw it. And several people I know who did like it were older, or were experienced in traditional long-term relationships. I sometimes wonder if it just plays better to people who are older? There are certainly exceptions to that, but it seems to be correlated.
Hopefully it's crime wasn't being aimed at an older crowd. There's nothing wrong with that, as there isn't anything wrong with the normal set of films that play only to the young.
Anyways, just some non-flame thoughts from someone who feels almost the exact opposite way about the film as you.
Cheers.
I also went to see this with my (now ex) girlfriend on our first date. She picked the movie and I thought to myself: "Kubric isn't that bad". Happily thinking about A Clockwork Orange (which is a must-see), and 2001 A Space Odyssey I purchased a ticket.
10 minutes into the movie I'm staring at Nicole Kidmans nipples, thinking to myself "My God, those things are huge on the big screen" trying to supress a chuckle at the thought. About an hour later Tom Cruise is walking around in a castle with people prancing around naked (amongst other things), and my first thought is "Is this like a subtle hint from her?".
On our second date she chose again, and this time she chose Cruel Intentions, which contains a scene where one of the main character performs cunnilingus using the alphabet. Again my first thought is "Subtle hint?"
When we were together for about a year, and went to see or rent several movies, it turned out that each movie she chose always had sex or explicit references to sex in it. She would just pick something at random, and about 10 or 20 minutes into the movie there would be a pair of breasts on the screen.
I miss that girl...
It's never too late to stop a movie in production (or post-production) before it's released. There are complete (down to the copyright and union seal in the credits), distribution-ready films that have never been released, even direct to video. I'm sure the are better examples, but I know that before Blade broke the jinx, Marvel produced an embarrassing string of superhero movies that were so bad that some of them are known today only through bootlegs. (The Fantastic Four film is legendary in its baditude.) Knockaround Guys probably would have sat on a shelf forever, except that Vin Diesel became a "star" with Fast & Furious and XXX after it was made, suddenly giving it some box-office potential. And TV networks are notorious for cancelling new series that may already have several months' episodes in the can, and never airing them (instead broadcasting more advertiser-friendly fare).
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The only explanation I could come up with for Signs was that the aliens were not invading. They were actually just dropping off their retarded. Once you realize the aliens are mentally handicapped it all makes sense.
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Never had a girlfriend, have you?
Verhoeven read the book, and noticed that the book was, at least at one level, militaristic (and arguably fascist) propaganda of the kind that convinced Germans to come invade his ancestral homeland in 1940. So, he decided to make a movie that was a pisstake on Nazi propaganda and pro-war propaganda more generally. And he did that very well, and quite subtly in parts. Watch Triumph of the Will and then watch Starship Troopers again. Or, if you're American, cast your mind back to the bullshit ra-ra media coverage you got before the Iraq invasion and then watch Starship Troopers again.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
Mod the parent down before more are made aware that such a movie existed!
Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.