Why is Java Considered Un-Cool?

jg21 writes "After the Slashdot discussion on Paul Graham's 'Great Hackers' essay, it had to happen. Java developers have taken umbrage at Graham's assertion that "Of all the great programmers I can think of, I know of only one who would voluntarily program in Java. And of all the great programmers I can think of who don't work for Sun, on Java, I know of zero." Now in JDJ Sachin Hejip pinpoints the Top Reasons Why Java is Considered Un-Cool and to tries to debunk them. He levels some of the blame at the Java compiler for "too much chaperoning" and speculates that Java fails the geek test precisely because "it's such a language-for-the-masses." But isn't he missing the point? Enterprise-grade apps and "coolness" may be inapproriate bedfellows. Besides, does any language offer both?"

Comments

Why is Java Considered Un-Cool?

[illtud]

...I'd love to tell you, but I'm trying to fix my $CLASSPATH

Re:Why is Java Considered Un-Cool?

[Frothy Walrus]

Try translating it into Hindi.

Re:Why is Java Considered Un-Cool?

[mark_lybarger]

let me go verify my LD_LIBRARY_PATH has everything it needs before i get started.

Not responding

[gr8_phk]

The site must use a lot of Java code.

What's not to love about Java?

[wayward_son]

It's got the simplicity of C++.
The freedom from corporate interference of Visual Basic.
The speed of an interpreted language.

And you wouldn't believe how efficiently it uses RAM and CPU power.

I don't see why everyone doesn't use Java!

Re:How about

[black mariah]

It goes hand-in-hand with the social ineptness of the typical geek. An inability to fit in with the majority of society gives way to a need to fit in with SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, and the tools one uses are the most apparent thing. This doesn't apply only to geeks though. Think about the old woman with fifty cats, or the obsessive housewife that fills every room in her house with frickin' Beanie Babies despite not having any (or perhaps BECAUSE she doesn't have any) kids. Same thing, different level.

Re:COBOL

[Marlor]

Java is the new COBOL. No, I mean that quite seriously.

Well, considering what COBOL programmers are earning these days, Java might be a valuable skill in the future.

Re:How about

[Takeel]

You wouldn't go into the carpentry business and claim your hammer is the best hammer for every single job would you?

Sure I would! You wouldn't want an inferior hammer working on your carpentry, would you? That could result in costly downtime.

Re:Maybe because it's slow ?

[xer.xes]

It's really time to dump your 386 and move on to at least a Pentium.

Ha!

[Fizzl]

For once I can say "Java sucks!" and be on-topic.

For all you moderators: "Neener! Neener!"

If *Java* is uncool....

[revscat]

... where does that put C#? In the basement with the red Swingline?

Re:What is this responding to.. exactly?

[skaffen42]

Yeah. Java really sucks and is uncool. No open source programmer would ever use it.

Hell, could you ever imagine an orginization like Apache producing Java code. If that ever happens I'm giving up and moving to Jakarta.

Re:lame

[Cocoronixx]

Java GUI is slower than native alternatives

Not really. Tried it recently? eclipse is a good example (eclipse.org) of fast java program.

Apparently, one of you two is smoking crack. Take a guess on which one.

Re:a few reasons

[Everleet]

They're still trying to debug each other's code, in preparation for a rollout that will never come.

Oh double negative, why do you haunt me!!!

[pottymouth]

"And of all the great programmers I can think of who don't work for Sun, on Java, I know of zero"

Why do I get the feeling I wouldn't want to debug this guys code??

Re:Also Speed

[Stephen Williams]

in a computing environment where processor speed doubles every 18 months, would you rather have a little bit slow execution for now or a fundamentally flawed security paradigm?

"They who would trade essential CPU cycles to gain a little temporary security deserve neither CPU cycles nor security."
-- B3nj4m1n Fr4nx0rlin

Hmmm, it seemed considerably funnier in my head...

-Stephen

Re:Why, Python, of course.

[JSkills]

Won't be able to read your Perl program? Isn't that blanket statement? Does it really depend on who's writing the code?

Anything I write in any language is extremely readable by anyone - because I code that way. Period.

Overheard in a recent Sun board meeting...

[Junior J. Junior III]

Exec1: Bill, we have to do something about Java.

Bill Joy: What's wrong with it?

Exec1: No one's using it.

BJ: The hell they aren't. Java's everywhere.

Exec2: Well, maybe, but no one wants to use it.

BJ: Why?

Exec3: Maybe because the performance sucks compared to programs written in C++?

BJ: That can't be it. Sun hardware doesn't perform very well either, and people use our servers all the time! By the way, you're fired.

*uncomfortable silence*

BJ: Well, why else can it be unpopular?

Exec1: Sir, I think geeks won't want to use it because it's not cool enough for them.

BJ: Not cool enough for geeks? How the fuck does that even make sense? Someone get marketing on the phone and tell them we need an X-TREME mascot for Java, right away. That'll make it "cool" enough for these geeks.

Secretary: Yes, sir. Right away sir.

BJ: Alright, now then, what else is on the radar?

Re: Cheap Shot

[freality]

Actually, programs are abstractions of electrical systems that, though I have programmed a simple CPU in an FPGA and wired up breadboards, etc. etc., I still don't understand. And Physicists don't even understand Physics! And thanks to Gödel, it's clear we don't understand Math! Argh. Who can save us?!

It's an indictment of Aristotle, Kant, the Enlightenment and the Scientific Method that all of our attempts at formalizing the universe blow up in our faces.

Until we approach every program as the algebraic systematic proof of a string-theoretic electrical circuit model, we will be burdened by the inexorable piles of poo that is the vast majority of the software written today.

Re:Maybe because it's slow ?

[contagious_d]

I'm proud to say that my language of choice is Java.
I agree. During my first two years of school we programmed almost exclusively in Java. We were the first incoming freshmen to take the introductory classes after they made the change from teaching in C++, and I noticed that a lot of the people who spent their time complaining about the use of Java were the same ones that failed the classes and changed from CS or IS majors to IT, Meteorology, or Living in the Basement majors. At the time, I was doing most of my schoolwork on an old eMachine with a Cyrix processor, and, although the POS pretty much screeched to a halt when I launched them, it handled Java apps fairly well once they got up and running. Uh, anyway, Yay Java!

LISP IDE

[flink]

Here you go.

Same reason as everything else

[Kohath]

Java is uncool because people are snobs. You can't think you're better than everyone else without thinking that the popular choices are beneath you.

Let me summarize the attitude:

I'm better than you. I'm one of the good ones, not one of the masses. Java? You still use that? I used to use that, but now I only program in the new super-trendy "Rubytalk" It's a Ruby-smalltalk hybrid, but I tweaked the compiler so none of the keywords are longer than 3 letters.

I have to go now. I have reservations at the new "Chittii" restaurant. I had to make them 3 months ago. All the food is vegan. You Java programmers probably eat at McDonald's and shop Walmart with the rest of the proles.

Bye. Oh, and tomorrow I'm taking the day off. PBS is running a six-part biography series on British showtunes composers. It's the only channel I watch.

Re:Firs post?

[Anonymous Coward]

My wife left me after I started coding Java.

Why food is considered uncool debunked.

[atani]

After recent coverage on slashdot about breathing it had to happen. Hiro Antagonist has rebutted all claims against food and explains why eating really is cool.

So for all you fashion victims out there: white is the new black, Moto is the new Sony, C is the new B, my sig can beat up your sig.

<fx: retch>

Ugh

[That's Unpossible!]

You mean you own a TV?