"E-Jihad" Exaggerated by Russian Media Spin

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"E-Jihad" Exaggerated by Russian Media Spin

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Thursday August 26, 2004 @05:03AM from the its-august-so-there's-no-other-news dept.

decompiler writes "Earlier reports that cyber-terrorists would be bringing down the internet today have now been denounced as "Russian media sensationalist spin", and Jose Nazario of Arbor Networks says, "There have been no precursors to a large-scale attack.""

40 of 244 comments (clear)

They lied to us! by chrispyman · 2004-08-26 05:04 · Score: 5, Funny

And I used to figure, if it's on the internet it must be true! There goes that theory...
1. Re:They lied to us! by TedCheshireAcad · 2004-08-26 05:08 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  /me points out that your comment is on the internet.
2. Re:They lied to us! by Three+Headed+Man · 2004-08-26 05:16 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I would have thought we'd have a "NO CARRIER" joke as the first post for sure.
  
  --
  I'm probably at the karma cap. Mod up a funny troll instead, it lightens the mood :)
3. Re:They lied to us! by Knnniggit · 2004-08-26 05:16 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? Oh wait.
  
  --
  Brain kills internet cells.
4. Re:They lied to us! by timeOday · 2004-08-26 07:14 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  A false alarm? Have you no appreciation for the dedicated security professionals who exposed and headed off the conspiracy? The complete lack of destruction only testifies to our brilliance and validates our security plan, bow down before us!!!
Hah! by Mz6 · 2004-08-26 05:04 · Score: 1, Funny

That'll teach those stupid Russian ter
CARRIER LOST

--
Hmmm.
"E-Jihad"? by grunt107 · 2004-08-26 05:04 · Score: 5, Funny

Sounds like a "E-Jihadn't"
1. Re:"E-Jihad"? by druhol · 2004-08-26 05:25 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Hell, all we'd have to do is link the terrorist's site on the front page. Puny little ISP wouldn't stand a chance.
  
  --
  WWD4D?
Two things you usually don't see together by lucabrasi999 · 2004-08-26 05:05 · Score: 5, Funny

News Media

and

Exaggerated
1. Re:Two things you usually don't see together by samsmithnz · 2004-08-26 05:08 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  and
  
  FOX
2. Re:Two things you usually don't see together by eln · 2004-08-26 05:08 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  There's some sort of strange comfort in knowing that the American media is not alone in this sort of behavior, at least.
  
  Oh, who am I kidding, journalism as a profession is doomed. They may as well just give out degrees in "reporting sensationalist nonsense" and be done with it.
ISC Handlers put it best by UnderAttack · 2004-08-26 05:05 · Score: 4, Funny

From yesterday's
Diary:
"The ISC would like to go out on a limb and predict that the Internet will not vaporize into a cloud of nothingness this Thursday, but if it does, it's been our pleasure to help stave off its inevitable annihilation this long. "

--
---- join dshield.org Distributed Intrusion Detec
and now the... by relex · 2004-08-26 05:06 · Score: 1, Funny

in soviet russia jokes...
oh crap by TedCheshireAcad · 2004-08-26 05:06 · Score: 5, Funny

I took work off today because I thought the internet was gonna go down. I didn't mention my absence to any of my supervisors, because I figured they would all be freaking out because the internet is down so they wouldn't notice I was missing.

I should either:
A) Go to work.
B) Bring in some pruning shears and re-create the effect of the internet being down on a much more local scale by severing the fiber line.

Where are those shears at?
Obligatory... by CaptainPuff · 2004-08-26 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny

In Mother Russia, the Internet attacks you....
wait a minute... my box gets port probed all day and I'm not even in Russia. grrrrrrrr
1. Re:Obligatory... by Stevyn · 2004-08-26 05:12 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  my box gets port probed all day
  It's nice to see woman visit this site, but please keep those details to a minimum.
E-Terror Level by johnkoer · 2004-08-26 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny

The E-Terror level has subsequently been lowered to #FFFF00

--
Johnkoerner.com
they already struck by theMerovingian · 2004-08-26 05:08 · Score: 3, Funny

about two weeks ago...

--
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
E-slam? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:09 · Score: 5, Funny

Is e-jihad a characteristic of the E-slam faith?
Ha! by east+coast · 2004-08-26 05:09 · Score: 4, Funny

I knew it was just a big lie... There was no way those cowards were going to sd #4f d# $ i%5@

NO CARRIER

--
Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
I know why by StevenHenderson · 2004-08-26 05:09 · Score: 5, Funny

They were going to launch the attack, but the amazing security of XP SP2 has made potential victims impenetrable fortresses!
1. Re:I know why by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:34 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Actually SP2 was the threat they were referring to
Damn you Kaspersky lab by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:10 · Score: 2, Funny

I just spent the last 4 hours hermetically sealing my linux box with duct tabe and plastic wrap.
503 Error? by Chuck+Bucket · 2004-08-26 05:11 · Score: 1, Funny

Is this why I've been getting those '503 Error' messages when I try to hit Slashdot?

CB

--
free ipod and free gmail!
1. Re:503 Error? by Chuck+Bucket · 2004-08-26 05:26 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  or the terrorists will post some inane article about some freak who got Linux running on his toaster, then mirror the link using tinyurl to slashdot the entire internet! we'll have to all go out for a walk in the sunshine! damn you terrorists!
  
  (wish I could be in NYC this weekend...)
  
  CBVSD(F&*
  
  --
  free ipod and free gmail!
Oh Man by quaketripp · 2004-08-26 05:13 · Score: 5, Funny

I bet Al Gore is releived to hear is was a hoax, his baby was in jeopardy.
Wait just a minute! by cephyn · 2004-08-26 05:14 · Score: 3, Funny

You mean to tell me that the thing that, according ot the media, "may or may not happen" didn't actually happen?

So in that case, the media was right. Why are we upset with them?

I think I may or may not get back to work now. Hey, at least I'm not lying.

--
Moo.
Yeah actually... by tekiegreg · 2004-08-26 05:15 · Score: 2, Funny

I just realized it was a normal day...despite the threat of a cyber-attack today.

Move along people nothing to see here...

Tomorrow Tom Ridge will probably announce that the United States could be under attack soon by a bunch off terrorists arriving in flying pigs...*sigh*

--
...in bed
1. Re:Yeah actually... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:33 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Newsflash:
  
  The Department of Homeland Security has monitored increasing activity along with a decrease in temperature in Hell. Unable to reveal their sources, the current administration simply said "Let's just say we have credible sources in Hell that report these activities to us from time to time." As impending armageddon nears, they have added a new terror alert level, "GRAPE" which we will now observe until the end of time.
  
  Asked to explain "GRAPE" level, a DHS representative said the best plan of action at such a high terror alert level would be to duct-tape one's children onto their doorposts, plastic wrap all the ventilation systems, and scream "We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die...unless we vote GW in November."
  
  Um, that advise given to us by a non-profit organization "Doomsday Predicters for Truth" not affiliated with the present administration. At all. No, seriously.
e-jihad.com by acceleriter · 2004-08-26 05:23 · Score: 5, Funny

The data in Register.com's WHOIS database is provided to you by Register.com for information purposes only, that is, to assist you in obtaining information about or related to a domain name registration record. Register.com makes this information available "as is," and does not guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a WHOIS query, you agree that you will use this data only for lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data to: (1) allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations via direct mail, electronic mail, or by telephone; or (2) enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that apply to Register.com (or its systems). The compilation, repackaging, dissemination or other use of this data is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Register.com. Register.com reserves the right to modify these terms at any time. By submitting this query, you agree to abide by these terms. Organization: mubahela.net Shabbir Hassanally 183 Vaughan Road West Harrow, Middlesex HA14EQ GB Phone: +44 7764 947 816 Fax..: +44 208 933 0929 Email: shabbirh@mubahela.net Registrar Name....: Register.com Registrar Whois...: whois.register.com Registrar Homepage: http://www.register.com Domain Name: E-JIHAD.COM Created on..............: Wed, Apr 17, 2002 Expires on..............: Sun, Apr 17, 2005 Record last updated on..: Tue, Jun 17, 2003 Administrative Contact: mubahela.net Shabbir Hassanally 183 Vaughan Road West Harrow, Middlesex HA14EQ GB Phone: +44 7764 947 816 Fax..: +44 208 933 0929 Email: shabbirh@mubahela.net Technical Contact, Zone Contact: Register.Com Domain Registrar 575 8th Avenue - 11th Floor New York, NY 10018 US Phone: 902-749-2701 Fax..: 902-749-5429 Email: domain-registrar@register.com Domain servers in listed order: NS.MUBAHELA.NET 209.51.129.80 NS2.MUBAHELA.NET 209.51.129.81

--
CEE5210S The signal SIGHUP was received.
Obligatory Simpson's Quote by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:30 · Score: 1, Funny

Professor Frink: "This isn't the Monsterometer, it's the E-Jihad Exaggerator!"
Re:Terrorism anyway by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:37 · Score: 2, Funny

They were trying to fly the planes INTO the internet.
Re:what would of happened? by StevenHenderson · 2004-08-26 05:37 · Score: 2, Funny

any thoughts what we would do

rent pr0n videos and buy cds...[shudder]
Re:Didn't the community predict this? by WormholeFiend · 2004-08-26 05:39 · Score: 2, Funny

no we predicted there would be a story dupe posted today.

well, it did kinda happen, in a follow-up sorta way.
Re:Just as suspected ... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 05:42 · Score: 2, Funny

1. Make claims of wide scale internet attack
2. ???
3. Prophet!

That's not a typo
Imagine the sight.. by Anonymous Coward · 2004-08-26 06:25 · Score: 1, Funny

Man, I would've wanted to see that. Just imagine, thousands of basements open, out come countless geeks who have not seen a ray of light in years.

No more than five minutes, though. That would've been unbearable.
Re:try 99% of every country. by gantzm · 2004-08-26 07:01 · Score: 3, Funny

...and Cargo Cult islanders.

Oh, that's just great. Now I've got this image of isolated islanders wearing grass lab coats building a nuke out of bamboo and coconut milk.

Meanwhile an islander in a grass business suit is running about complaining infiltration from the "acka-ack-nunucket" island.

Thankfully I think I see Feynman swimming to shore, maybe he can save me!

--

Excessive forking causes un-wanted children.
The correct spelling is "Faux". by Lethyos · 2004-08-26 07:08 · Score: 3, Funny

Get it right, will ya!

--
Why bother.
I've gone e-JIHAD before! by mustangdavis · 2004-08-26 07:25 · Score: 2, Funny

I've gone Jihad electronicaly before ... just click the "Jihad" button at the priest's temple when you've reached the Iron Age ... then your peasants have +10 attack, and can melt down enemy towers like they're butter!!!

This was, by far, one of the cheesiest (legitimate) tactics I ever used in that game! I've won a game with nothing more than Jihad peasants!!! I'd build dozens of town centers (terrorist training facilities), and bumb rush the enemy town, burning down all of their buildings with nothing more than peasants!!!

JIHAD!!!!

*Please ignore this if you haven't played Age of Empires*

--
HallmarkOrnaments.Com
Where was the Kaboom? by Capt.+Canuck · 2004-08-26 09:22 · Score: 2, Funny

There was suppose to be an earth shattering Kaboom!