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Hibernating to Mars
neutron_p writes "Manned missions beyond the Moon are no longer wild dreams. NASA plans a manned mission to Mars before 2020. With automatic systems in control, astronauts would face the challenge of living in a confined space with not much to do for an extremely long period. 'Might as well sleep it off!' Studies initiated by ESA have gone one step further. Wouldn't it be nice if astronauts could hibernate! ESA biologists are conducting investigations into the physiological mechanisms that mammals use to hibernate."
Haven't they been doing that in movies for years now?
Am I part of the core demographic for Swedish Fish?
works for most of USA
Just gather up a bunch of geeks and toss them in the capsule. Once they get away from Earth, send a message letting them know that you accidentially packed decaf. Once the panic wears off, they'll sleep the rest of the trip.
Crazy scientist is creating psychotic robot that has the ability to wake or kill hibernating humans.
Make them earn their passage by doing some programming along the way. Set up the food dispensers so that if you don't work, you don't eat. That will keep them occupied!
Expect NASA to announce, in the next few months, that physical requirements for astronauts have now changed. All prospective recruits must now have at least 400 lbs. of body fat.
Slashdot archives That should keep them busy for awhile
...not to hit the snooze button when you get there.
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Just look at 2001: A Space Odyssey; if you hibernate to a distant place with a super AI computer watching over your critical life support functions and the spaceship, you'll die a nasty, red-LED blinking death. Just don't codename the computer HAL 9000...
CNN-reporter: I'm standing here with Mr. Carter, first human on Mars. So, tell me, Mr. Carter, how was it like?
... if only I could return. Maybe tonight.
Mr. Carter: *Gasp* I don't know. O.K. I guess, but I had this wonderful dream about a great pink mushroom and a sea of chockolate. Ahh
Look a monkey!
>>the physiological mechanisms that mammals use to hibernate
Ninjas are mammals.
What could possibly go wrong with that?
... do I have to live on salmon and wild berries? I like salmon well enough, but berries make my nether region itch.
sigs, as if you care.
I say you surf the net and find the biggest net geeks they can find that never log off. After a spot check at their house to see they do in fact only leave their room to shit, get pizza, soda, and beer then sign them up to be astronauts. These guys wouldn't even notice they have left earth, much less have difficulty handling the isolation. That is of course till Halflife 3 came out and wouldn't run on their computers.
Then we would have to have an emergency mission. Of course we could get ATI or NVIDIA to pay for the privlage of being "the official sponser of the graphics card upgrade rescue mission".
wont it be nice to have a president whose term in office you can sleep through?
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
But it would also suck to fall asleep and wake up three years later -- and three years older, with absolutely nothing to show for it.
;)
Kind of like studying computer science...
Switch back to Slashdot's D1 system.
I would just spend all day reading Slashdot.
Oh, wait...
The latest Slashdot meme.
How are they gonna get a brand-new, untried vehicle to run for a six-month trip each way, without multiple someones keeping an eye on things?
All they have to do is have some kind of automated assistant to keep an eye on things!
They could call it the Hybernation Assistance Lifeline.
It could do things like keep the radio antenna lined up with Earth, and manage the opening and closing of the pod bay doors.
Make sure to send the astronauts with plenty of firepower. Chainguns, rocket launchers, armor and a chainsaw would be plenty enough to keep those aliens at bay. Don't let the spam get to the astronauts too. They'd be pretty pissed off at that.
You can't really have them sleep in shifts because the awake ones will fuck around the sleeping people. They'll shave eyebrows, draw on their faces, and when they get really bored they will take pictures of themselves teabagging the sleeping astronauts.
I'm a powernap expert and have slept for up to 36 hours in one stretch. What would you like to know?
Not something to put on a resume, if you ask me.
Table-ized A.I.
So they are trying to make a human hibernate for 3 years? I wonder if 4 years is possible.
If Bush wins, I want to sleep right through it.
http://brandonbloom.name
I wonder what stage of sleep you would be in, REM sleep?
I hope not, I couldn't stand to hear that "What's The Frequency, Kenneth?" song over and over again...
.. can you say "B Ark" boys and girls? I knew you could...
DO NOT DISTURB THE SE
Well, you could keep their bottom halves out in space.
occultae nullus est respectus musicae - originally a Greek proverb
Man it would suck to have a wooden prosthetic heart . . .
...some fake jobs to do. A computer panel full of buttons that have to be pushed in sequence daily or the whole ship explodes. Add to that some actual physical exertion (like removing axle rods from somewhere that are rusty) at random intervals as well. Keep it quiet so only the scientists and some engineers know what's up.
:)
Yeah, give the astronauts lots of fake jobs which will then lead to fake drama as someone forgets to pull rod 14 on schedule and the core threatens meltdown. Tie it in to emergency evac announcements and lots of flashing lights. I could see this being profitable from a television standpoint as well. That in turn will help fund the mission or a future mission like it.
Think about it this way: if you're always threatened by disaster but always avert it just in the nick of time, you never know if it's true or not. The astronauts will never wise up.