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Automated Sentry Robots
jimbob5 writes "New Scientist reports that you can now buy your own automated Room Defender. 'Who would like this gift? Any child, or anyone who saw the director's cut of Aliens and dreamed of owning one of those automated sentries.'" The New Scientist gift guide looks pretty useful.
Once triggered, it issues a verbal warning then fires a warning shot (a foam disc).
.357 to the thing, rigs up a solenoid trigger-puller set up to activate when the "foam discs" are supposed to launch.
Oh yeah. I can see it now. How long before someone bolts their
Jehovah's witnesses might have something to worry about.
Mod down people who tell people how to mod in their sigs
I want this! But I won't get it. We have a little one running around and I can see what would happen some early morning around 4am...
"Mommy, Daddy... I had a bad dream!"
"Exit the room or there will be... trouble!" (fires warning shots, 1/4 payload)
"AAAAARGGGGHHH!!!!! A MONSTER!!!!!" (flees, heavily pelted by nerf discs)
"You were warned! Have a good day and stay out of... trouble."
"ZZzzzzZZZzzZZZZZzzzZZZ" (mom & dad (in unison))
"Waaaaaaahhhhhh" (cries to sleep)
On second thought... that could make for some interesting Skinner experiments where we actually get to sleep for a whole night! Although the little one might not get to sleep at all, living in fear of the menacing turret monster. Hey maybe this could breed a new form of learned Tourette's Syndrome?? I mean what else is going to happen after being pelted by a nerf turret living in your parent's room for your whole childhood, until all you can do is swear randomly. (all the moderators with Tourette's are going to love this comment... can you imagine their reaction??? At least they won't be able to mod this down -- for a while)
The dangers of knowledge trigger emotional distress in human beings.
Have it push around a vacuum cleaner while it's on patrol.
I have an earlier model. The biggest change is that instead of shooting discs, it howls and then poops on the carpet.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
I sent that link to my gf. She has 3 cats, 2 young ones which torment an older one. The old one stays in its room most of the time while the 2 others come in to play mean. I suggested she puts one of these at the entrance to that cat's room to keep the bad ones out.
...and I want one just because it's cool
Trolling is a art,
I was going to get one of these but then realized it wouldnt take long for wife wife to figure out how to disable it with an EMP grenade.
Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
....wouldn't be as fun as liberating my sister's room. I want a unilateral robot room liberator/democracy imposer.
The boss will never sneak in on me again, catching me watching pr0n during work hours.
Why all the bloat? Just give me Assault Mode!
Can you imagine an office full of these things. Hundreds of cubicles flinging nerf discs everywhere. That is until someone figures out how to use AOL CD's as ordinance.
Here it is, the new replacement for a sentury. Fully automated and ready to go...just plug it in, program it and its ready. Just watch out for glitches, 'cause if it is military then it may fire on friendlies....with real bullets.
Now that software can recognize body language, maybe turrets can figure out when you are about to kill something, and beat you do it...killing you. Such a great future we look forward to...puts most sci-fi novels to shame.
All you have to do is walk up and watch the foam discs bounce harmlessly off of your legs, then pillage the room. Get back to me when someone is selling one of these that launches shuriken or sharpened AOL CDs.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Now if it'll only be able to save John Conner AND lower taxes...
IGB: More fun than eating oatmeal!
This, combined with the teleportation research we read about the other day, can only convice me that we will soon be overrun by zombies, imps and cacodemons, and that only sentry robots will protect us!
The perfect sig is a lot like silence, only louder
What happens when the super intelligent monkeys get their hands on these? Seriously people, we can defeat the monkeys and we can defeat the robots, but not at the same time!!!!!
Remember Family Guy?
"Present hall pass now!"
Girl timidly shows hall pass.
"PRESENT HALL PASS NOW!!!!"
John Maynard Keynes: "When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do?"
Here's to you, browsing Slashdot all day.
:)
Great. A bunch of little illegitimate gadgets runnig around beeping Mommy, Daddy.
Busy aligning my non-linear thoughts.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but something seems odd about the term "5-quadrant."
if it actually aimed the disk, then I'd think about it... mostly to keep my year old son in line.
Wow, you guys take domestic dispute to a whole new level of technology.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
I'm getting me one and modifying it so it shoots saw blades instead of foam disks. Ain't NOBODY getting near my stack of porn!
Be very careful if you're going to be setting up shooting blades around your stack of porn. If there's any chance you forget to deactivate it when you're "in the mood", with all the blood out of your brain, you may accidentally "disable" yourself from ever using your porn again.
Reminds me of the turrets in Half-Life. Actually this could be a great way to defend my computer space for the week after Half-Life 2 is out. I wouldn't have to stop playing, or even say "get out of here". Better gaming through robotics!
-- Home is where you eat your heart out.
1. cost about 500 bucks.
2. be lethal or at least be capable of inflicting injury.
3. Illegal (unless you live in Texas).
"Thanks to the remote control I have the attention span of a gerbil."
He was the first yahoo to make the "Broad-cast" pun.
*ducks*
surely the Jehovah's witnesses can convert these machines to their party
as you can see these fellows can have a great force
Download Jehovah's witnesses comedy (divx)
=D