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Air Force Orders Up A Custom Windows Monoculture
Soulfader writes "It seems that the Air Force has not learned from the Navy's folly in single-source mammoth contracts and their attendant problems, and is now working on something similar with Dell and Microsoft. Particularly interesting is the article's assertion that the Air Force is 'fed up' with Microsoft OS problems--but not enough to switch to something else. Instead, they're going to be getting a custom 'solution' of Windows products specially configured for their use. Is this the ever-hoped-for 'good' version of Windows, or more along the line of the sucks-in-new-and-interesting-ways version of Highlander II?"
Wait... I liked Highlander II.
Hey, contractors.... I have a job that needs to be done.
I also have $1,000,000,000 to throw at the problem. Any contractors that have the ability to accept and be responsible for receiving a pre-payment, please step forward.
Sorry, only top tier contractors will be accepted.
Oh, Sorry again. Because of a new requirement added by Congress, only the largest company in this industry will be allowed to submit a bid. And only one bid will be accepted. We don't have time to evaluate other solutions.
I'm glad Microsoft are getting the full value of their PAC contributions, I'd hate to think our government was dishonest
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Go back and reread it.... this is a custom "solution". You just can't go wrong with one of those.
...Suck, and it's brought to you by the new Halliburton That Doesn't Screw America.
Thanks for playing.
Now I don't have to worry about boarding a jet anymore, but just look up at the ones crashing into my home... Not that the jets themselves are run on Windows, but its just a thought. Hey Microsoft, I am a member of the Air Force too! Where can I pirate, uhhmm, download, my version?
_
Free 27" Sony WEGA TV
Hey I guess it worked, you got "insightful". Let's see if I can try...
Did Netcraft confirm it yet?
In Soviet Russia operating systems buy the Air Force!
What I'd really like to see is a case of the Marine Corps using Linux -- then when someone was doing outright bashing thereof, I could instruct them to "tell it to the Marines."
Guess you should have made fun of Highlander II. =)
Let's start using something stable for critical shit, shall we?
And Windows 2000 isn't stable? Is this your first troll?
I don't respond to AC's.
Man, I didn't like Highlander 2 as much as the next guy, but the article summary was kick in the nuts out of nowhere. Isn't there a statute of limitations on crappy movies? Does a time ever come when we can forgive them?
Highlander II? What are you talking about? There was no Highlander II. Even the writer and director of Highlander III admited there was never a Highlander II.
Sez you. Now go get a bid from IBM or EDS for managing your desktop environment with 6 different platforms. I guarantee that it will come in way way way over the Windows bid.
Sorry, the network in your mom's basement does not remotely represent a huge desktop deployment.
Thanks for playing.
Sorry. You seem to have mispelled that. Here. Let me correct it.
Thanks for paying.
-- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
I was at a recent all-hands meeting of the Range personnel at a Navy base (Point Mugu) that I work at. The head of the group said that we all have to work more efficiently and he was open to any suggestions about anything except NMCI. This was because the Admiral (don't ask me which one because I don't remember) considers NMCI an incredible success!!
Now anybody that works on a Navy facility that already had PCs and was forced to use NMCI knows that NMCI is an impediment to progress. I'm sure the first suggestion someone was going to make was to get rid of NMCI. The PCs are slow, and crash often because of changes pushed onto them by the network. The service is slow (as in "months to get something done"), and of course, Windows 2000 isn't the solution to every problem.
So the question to anyone out there is "Why would the admirals think it's a success?".
Is some group of people in the Navy actually better off now that NMCI is here?
Is NMCI meeting some special need the Admiral has?
Did they get kick backs from EDS or Microsoft?
Have they been co-opted by foreign nationals or aliens intent on overthrowing the U.S.?
Please post a response if you know the answer
"Meaningless!, Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless!"
because I even if I TRY to mess up my machine it won't. :-)
What was that IP address again?
uhh, yea it is for lack of trying. Who the hell in their right mind would want to show up on THIER radar?
:-)
You missed the kiddies page: Crypto Cat knows all..
Please don't disparage the only country that still uses the English System!
"My car gets forty rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I like it!"
DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.
OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.
Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.
Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.
Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.
VMS Airlines
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching
Clearly in the airforce, there's 24 people trained to run mission critical servers but no one to actually fly things.
When the Navy having their bout with "Blue Screen Of Death", at least their ships still floats.
On the other hand, when the Air Force pilots getting "Blue Screen Of Death" on their fighter planes, that'd be the last thing they ever see.
The pencilpushers who chose Windoze over other more reliable system won't have to tackle the problems the frontliners have to face.
I have much sympathy for the poor grunts.
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
AUTOMATED UPDATES???????
*gibber*. the US military is happy for _microsoft_ to push automated updates onto 500,000 windows desktops???
what did i miss. is there something i haven't quite understood?
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