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l33tspeak For Parents By Microsoft

Posted by Zonk on from the 1-w1ll-0wnz-j00 dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Microsoft has published A parent's primer to computer slang where !337$p34k is explained to the uninitiated. Expect to see a l33t-localized version of Windows XP soon." They also have a wonderful guide to the tactics of a griefer. "Honey, we're getting worried that you may be 0wning newbz. We need to talk..."

32 of 159 comments (clear)

  1. Fp? by Nova1313 · · Score: 4, Funny

    In soviet russia |\|3wb5 pwn j00

    --
    There exists some positive integer N that you are the Nth person to read this signature.
    1. Re:Fp? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yeah. In North Korea, only old people tell Soviet Russia jokes.

  2. Left them feedback by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I clicked yes at the bottom: Y0UR 51ght I5 d@ 8OM8, M1CR05OFt Own5 l1NuX

    --
    God spoke to me.
    1. Re:Left them feedback by DLWormwood · · Score: 2, Funny
      I clicked yes at the bottom:

      Funny, when I do that, I get a weird error message.

      Object reference not set to an instance of an object. We are experiencing technical problems. Sorry for the inconvenience. We are still interested in hearing your comments if you have time to provide your feedback. You can do one of two things. You can close this window, refresh your browser, and submit your comments. Or, you can try later.

      Thank you.

      The editors of At Home and At Work
      It doesn't even look like Microsoft can implement a simple "Yes/No" button in a reliable way... Geez.
      --
      Those who complain about affect & effect on /. should be disemvoweled
    2. Re:Left them feedback by MarkGriz · · Score: 3, Funny

      "It doesn't even look like Microsoft can implement a simple "Yes/No" button in a reliable way... Geez"

      Maybe Microsoft doesn't want feedback from 1337 |-|4x0rz that don't run IE

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  3. wtf by FLAGGR · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you imagine the author, trying to keep a straight face? Poor guy, he wrote it so professionally

    1. Re:wtf by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 2, Funny

      That, and how about the proof reading proccess.

      --
      Pretty Pictures!
  4. I couldn't resist... by afabbro · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Was This Information Useful?"

    No.

    "Thank you for telling us about your experience. Why was the article not useful?"

    Other.

    "Please tell us more".

    It was written by L4M3 D00DZ!!!1!

    "Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback."

    --
    Advice: on VPS providers
  5. Applied Practice by ehlertjd · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, now try translating the following sentence:

    M1cr0$0f7 us35 l33t sploitz and m4d sk1llz to pwn $0ftw4r3 p4t3nts.

    1. Re:Applied Practice by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Microsoft used elite expolits and mad skills to own software patents.

      Now give me my cookie!

    2. Re:Applied Practice by BRTB · · Score: 5, Funny

      okay, let's see here..... standard loose dialect, so this is probably close enough:

      "Microsoft takes advantage of its nearly infinite resources and thus its ability to manipulate the legal system in order to gain large quantities of overly broad software patents."

      The main difficulty in this sentence is that the common "pwn" has taken on many various meanings based on context and may not be properly translated. As always, IANAL (I Am Not A Linguist)

      >=]

    3. Re:Applied Practice by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      no cookie for you! the number 5 would equal the letter S more closely than D wouldn't it?

  6. Excellent by generic-man · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now I can show Pure Pwnage to my parents and they will understand it perfectly. However, they may be concerned that teh_pwnerer is "involved in the theft of intellectual property, particularly licensed software" due to his use of expressions like "pwn."

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    For more information, click here.
  7. From the Article... by isd_glory · · Score: 5, Funny

    Rules of grammar are rarely obeyed. Many leetspeekers will capitalize every letter except for vowels (LiKe THiS) and otherwise reject conventional English style and grammar.

    Kinda reminds me of Slashdot

    1. Re:From the Article... by Qzukk · · Score: 3, Funny

      Kinda reminds me of Slashdot

      1N s0v13+ M1kR0z0fT, |33t Sp33|Z j00!

      --
      If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
  8. My first time... by flibuste · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am so ....I can't describe the feeling... It's the first time I click "YES" at the question "Was this information useful" on a Microsoft web page.

  9. :O by kereira · · Score: 3, Funny

    1'|) |_0\/3 70 533 |_337 |_0(4|_153|) 53771|\|G5 |=0|2 05s... That'll be the day, when my peers understand l337.

    --
    I don't not believe there isn't a God.
  10. You know your child is a criminal if... by Austerity+Empowers · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...he signs his email "l33t h4x0r" ...she makes more weekly on "w4r3z" than you make at a real job. ...his friend call him "Juarez". ...he wants to name your new born child "Fsck r0x0rs"

    Tip your waitresses, I'll be here all day. Tip me and I leave pronto.

  11. omgz0rz by davez0r · · Score: 5, Funny

    i'm sending this to my m0m

    well, not sending so much as printing it out and running it up to her (because i live in her basement)

  12. pr0n? by plastic_grass · · Score: 5, Funny

    did you find the information useful? no "what is the pr0n my son keeps talking about?" i need to know!

  13. No no no. by sc0ttyb · · Score: 2, Funny
    pwning n00bz.

    Read the whitepaper.

    --
    "Apparently so, but suppose you throw a coin enough times. Suppose one day, it lands on its edge."
  14. Dammit, Microsoft can't do this to us! by drxray · · Score: 3, Funny

    l37z 5u3 th3|\/| u|\|d3r t3h D.|\/|.(.4.!

    --
    Slashdot - Mutual Assured Discussion
  15. An example. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    For example, "5" or even "$" can replace the letter S.

    Micro$oft
  16. Re:Microsoft has been smoking? by glowimperial · · Score: 4, Funny

    E) Freebase

  17. ./ed by paulius_g · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft.com didn't get slashdotted? Damn, these Windows servers can take more than I've expected.

    --
    The hip way to get your IP. No ads, ever.
  18. Re:World of Warcraft by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I hate leetspeak. I think it's a plague on the game, and that Blizzard should scramble non-alphabet characters in future patches.

    "Help- I-m being attacked by --- orcs-"
    "How many-"
    "----"
    "Sorry- HOW many-"

    In case you hadn't noticed, non-alphabetic characters are, you know, kind of useful for this thing called "communication"...?

  19. Damn Microsoft by dghcasp · · Score: 4, Funny
    Now I have no incentive left to finish my magnum opus, "A stuffy british guy's guide to elite-speak." Microsoft owns this market.

    1 p0wn3d u: In the contest of skills that we just completed, I found myself victorious. Although this victory has no real meaning, I like to fantisize that if I went to the pubs and told a woman about it, she would shag me. If only I was old enough to go to the pubs...

  20. Re:World of Warcraft by DAldredge · · Score: 2, Funny

    What I can get is why we can read the other sides road signs if we do not share a common languagee.

  21. From the griefers article by Storlek · · Score: 2, Funny
    6. Report game glitches. Work with your child to identify exploitable glitches in the game or new methods of cheating. Report these to the game site administrator.

    Or... you "h4x0r" with your kids to "pwn" the "s3rv3r"?
    --
    Bears don't normally eat things that talk and move backwards.
  22. Re:Leet words possibly indicating illegal activity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sorry to be a spelling nazi, but I belive its 'pr0n'.

  23. I guess they hired this guy by s0me1tm · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=9

  24. Re:World of Warcraft by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    nonono, Marvin would convince the server to commit suicide.