Windows Cluster Edition

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Posted by Zonk on Friday March 4, 2005 @10:50AM from the supercomputing-through-the-window dept.

eth8686 writes "Microsoft is aiming to have its first cluster version of Windows ready in time for a supercomputing conference this fall." From the article: "The next version of the Compute Cluster edition will extend to Microsoft's .Net programming infrastructure, letting developers write software using the C# programming language, he said."

42 of 438 comments (clear)

Slogan by nocomment · 2005-03-04 10:51 · Score: 5, Funny

a thousand blue screens a thousand times faster!

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1. Re:Slogan by Anti_zeitgeist · 2005-03-04 10:56 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  wow, imagine a biowu.....err...nevermind.
  
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  If it wasn't for C, we would be stuck using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.
2. Re:Slogan by Leroy_Brown242 · 2005-03-04 11:09 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  I wonder if they got enough together, if the bluescreens could make the floor shake. :)
  
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  Pretty Pictures!
3. Re:Slogan by st1d · 2005-03-04 11:13 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  How about:
  
  MS puts the 'F' in ClusterF@#&
  
  Sorry Mods, couldn't help myself. :)
  
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  Microsoft has just released their much anticipated hands-free cordless mouse. Warning, it may hurt a little at first.
4. Re:Slogan by LiquidCoooled · 2005-03-04 11:15 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  OMG, your right,
  Nasa have just released a View of the cluster in operation from space.
  
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  liqbase :: faster than paper
5. Re:Slogan by A+beautiful+mind · 2005-03-04 11:15 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Biowulf? Microsoft has nothing to do with bio stuff!
  
  They are the borg, remember?!
  
  --
  It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
  Be yourself no matter what they say
6. Re:Slogan by ackthpt · 2005-03-04 11:19 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  a thousand blue screens a thousand times faster!
  'I felt a great disturbance in the force. As though millions of voices cried out in terror, and then suddenly silenced.'
  
  --
  
  A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
7. Re:Slogan by pilgrim23 · 2005-03-04 11:24 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  actually whe using Windows the word "cluster" has Always come to mind, but is usually followed by another word.
  
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  - Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum.
8. Re:Slogan by Storlek · 2005-03-04 11:35 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "Borgowulf"?
  
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  Bears don't normally eat things that talk and move backwards.
9. Re:Slogan by Nikker · 2005-03-04 13:02 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  But imagine how fast the cards bounce when you win a game on solitare!!!!
  
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  A loop, by its nature, continues. If that didn't make sense, start reading this sentence again.
10. Re: Slogan by Anonymous Coward · 2005-03-04 13:23 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Imagine the licence fees required to run a Beowulf cluster of those!
11. Re:Slogan by quarkscat · 2005-03-04 13:37 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  No need to be coy here. Senator (R) Stevens
  of Alaska hasn't won his "decency everywhere"
  fight yet.
  
  When I read the /. posting for Windows Cluster
  Server, I blew my coffee out my nose as I tried
  to recompose myself. Imagine if you can, a
  hijacked Windows Cluster as a mail relay server!
  The correct and most appropriate term to apply:
  "a Cluster fuck of BSODs".
Karma to Burn so.... by FerretFrottage · 2005-03-04 10:53 · Score: 5, Funny

Windows Cluster Fuck Edition?

There, it's been said.

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Oh boy... by what_the_frell · 2005-03-04 10:53 · Score: 5, Funny

Imagine having to reboot a whole cluster after the BSOD.
Imagine.. by tarquin_fim_bim · 2005-03-04 10:53 · Score: 4, Funny

... Beosloth cluster of those.
Image a.... by reality-bytes · 2005-03-04 10:53 · Score: 5, Funny

Imagine a Beowulf cluster of........

No, wait, it's just too terrible to comprehend.

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Ripping an new rectum in the fabric of spacetime.
But... by Anonymous Coward · 2005-03-04 10:53 · Score: 5, Funny

does it run Linux?
beowulf cluster by iamhassi · 2005-03-04 10:54 · Score: 2, Funny

now all we need is a beowulf cluster of windows clusters
oh come on someone was gonna say "beowulf cluster" eventually, and i have "Karma: Excellent" so might as well be me getting flamed

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my karma will be here long after I'm gone
Re:kneejerk response by YellowElf · 2005-03-04 10:54 · Score: 2, Funny

If I had mod points, I'd mod myself redundant. We all thought we were soooo clever.

--dv

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Insert witty saying or aphorism here.
Cluster...? by joranbelar · 2005-03-04 10:54 · Score: 4, Funny

"Microsoft is aiming to have its first cluster version of Windows ready in time for a supercomputing conference this fall."
Every edition of Windows I've ever tried has been a pretty reliable cluster-f*ck, where's the news here ;)
Customary quip ... by rkmath · 2005-03-04 10:58 · Score: 2, Funny

Imagine a Beowulf cluster of ... oh never mind.

On second thoughts, should this be called a "Grendel" cluster?
How Amazingly Unuseful by Foofoobar · 2005-03-04 10:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Let's see... half the resources, twice the security risk and ten times the price???

Where do I sign up to throw my IT budget down the drain?

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Finally fixed the message passing interface... by Anonymous Coward · 2005-03-04 10:59 · Score: 4, Funny

...which is what they built DBSOD (Distributed Blue Screen of Death) on top of. You can't call it windows without BSOD. DBSOD over MPI finally gives windows customers what they've been waiting for.
Re:On topic beowulf Windows cluster jokes? by Stevyn · 2005-03-04 10:59 · Score: 4, Funny

Too bad there aren't any "I'd hate to be the guy calling up Microsoft to activate all those copies of windows" jokes.

But if there were, "I'd hate to be the guy calling up Microsoft to activate all those copies of windows"
Re:kneejerk response by Foofoobar · 2005-03-04 11:01 · Score: 2, Funny

LOL! No but I'll be designing the T-shirts. :)

Place your orders today. :)

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This is my sig. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Out of Academia by anocelot · 2005-03-04 11:04 · Score: 5, Funny

It references the original "coming out" article which states:
"We see the market transitioning out of academic and government (areas) and into the enterprise," Oldroyd said. "As that move happens, you'll find that people need to have a familiar interface. They're not interested in tuning it and tweaking it. They want to get their work done."

So now I'm curious... Are they selling to managers, who use the windows i/f and want to think they can "get the job done" on the new server cluster? Or are they trying to suggest that no one in corp uses un*x systems?
I think what Microsoft really needs to do is come up with a line of kitchen appliances. I for one would buy them. I mean, hey, maybe then I could learn how to cook! Imagine having the same interface on the fridge and the coffee maker! Oh sure, some whiny liberal will probably complain that they don't NEED the percolate button for their ice cream, but this is America! Choice is what made this country great!
Note: /. may edit out the
<sarcasm>
tags.

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Affordable? by Skiron · 2005-03-04 11:06 · Score: 2, Funny

Looking at the MS licencing, Bill Gates would perhaps be the only person able to afford to run this...
first time i read that by OneArmedMan · 2005-03-04 11:10 · Score: 2, Funny

I thought it said Windows Cluster Fuck Edition ..

I thought i was wrong .. then i realised i was right.
Sorry by rafael_es_son · 2005-03-04 11:11 · Score: 3, Funny

But did i read "Custard Edition"?

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HAD
aaaha! by atari2600 · 2005-03-04 11:14 · Score: 4, Funny

*Sits back*

In Soviet Russia, M...ahh fuck it.

Imagine a Beow...bah never mind

BAHAHAHAHAA - Cluster...baaahhahah - oh you guys are serious - Sorry :(
Interesting... by SlashThat · 2005-03-04 11:25 · Score: 2, Funny

From the article:
Microsoft has a cluster internally that its treasury uses to evaluate the company's vast investment portfolio.
And the ballance for Q1 is... BSOD?!

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Imagine a ... by kst · 2005-03-04 11:26 · Score: 2, Funny

Imagine running Linux under VMware on each node of one of these Windows clusters and using that to implement a Beowulf cluster.
Quoted: by Jozer99 · 2005-03-04 11:33 · Score: 4, Funny

Quoted: "We have developed Windows for Clusters for those computers with significant processing power, but not enough to run Longhorn" a Microsoft spokesperson said.
Sneak Peek... by c0l0 · 2005-03-04 11:46 · Score: 5, Funny

...at the development lab already running it!

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:%s/Open Source/Free Software/g

YTARY!
Re:What is the point? by marcello_dl · 2005-03-04 11:59 · Score: 5, Funny

Touche'.

Imagine a beowulf cluster of product activation procedures...

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Activation is the problem by zecg · 2005-03-04 13:26 · Score: 3, Funny

Someone is going to spend a lot of time on the telephone dictating license numbers to activate an entire cluster...

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No, you have it all wrong... by GuestFox · 2005-03-04 13:51 · Score: 1, Funny

because with Windows HPC it would be more like...
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force. As though millions of processes cried out in terror and then suddenly halted."
-=GuestFox=-
Re:C insecure? Use Fortran. by hawk · 2005-03-04 15:27 · Score: 2, Funny

Plus, how many buffer overflow exploits have you seen recently on Fortran programs? :-)

Oh, we have them. We work them the same way as unix mail viruses: on the honor system. :)

hawk
Re:What is the point? by iminplaya · 2005-03-04 17:00 · Score: 2, Funny

If it's supposed to be a big calculator...

Now that's where Microsoft has a winner(besides pinball and solitare). Theirs is the only one that goes past the power of 5000. If you have the time, it will calculate to infinity. If it doesn't, I want to be the first to use one of these new clusters to find its limit...in my lifetime.

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What?
OK, I'll say it by Webmoth · 2005-03-04 22:16 · Score: 2, Funny

Imagine a beowulf cluster of BSODs.

There. I said it. Happy?

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I felt a great disturbance in the Net by Anonymous Coward · 2005-03-05 06:31 · Score: 1, Funny

... as if millions of cluster nodes suddenly blue screened in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Just what we've been waiting for by Anonymous Coward · 2005-03-05 08:55 · Score: 1, Funny

Bitchin'. The entire supercomputing community has been up in arms over the problem of how screwed they are by lack of decent C# support.