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Israeli Army Frowns on D&D
Big Rob found us a gem of a story about the Israeli Army frowning on D&D players. Apparently '18-year-olds who tell recruiters they play the popular fantasy game are automatically given low security clearance.' I especially enjoyed the pictures of D&D players with swords, as generally the only thing in my hand during D&D is soda and/or swiss cake rolls.
I'm thinking that a few generals should meet up with Jack Chick and have a good long discussion about the evils of role playing.
I like D&D. But after seeing some of those pics (before the slashdot effect), I frown on it too!
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Heck, you'd think they'd get a leg up for it--for example, as D&D precludes any and all contact with females, they run no risk of sexual transgression whatsoever!
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
My level 12 Galil with plumbum bullets strike down the level 4 suicide bomber. 100EXP and 12GP. :D
Wait 'til you hear what they do to recruits who admit they read Slashdot!
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Players are always trying to peek behind the DM's screen so they can see what's coming up next. Cheating on the dice rolls, making up munchkin characters, sneaking a look at the monster manual, etc. Untrustworthy, the whole lot of em.
Is a bomb an "edged weapon"? Maybe the IDF just doesn't want clerics to know they have a better chance "to hit" with a guided missile than with a war hammer, mace or morningstar.
--
make install -not war
the Jack Chick pictures of girls playing D&D.
Indeed. Dig for the video (I won't be rude enough to link to a single copy). You'll find yourself laughing because the typical D&D person does fall into one of these categories many times.
A good laugh, if anything.
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Well, you know, if they are D&D players, they are security risks.
First girl to show a little skin, and your entire North Atlantic operations become a blustered marriage proposal.
Can you imagine what secrets would be divulged if you let them get to third base?
I don't want to be in the Army any more! I want to be Debbie!
(Attn: Read the Jack Chick tract before modding this offtopic.)
That green slime had it coming.
One possible characteristic not mentioned in TFA was: People who role-play might be more inclined to game the system - definitely not a desirable personality trait to have in personnel deployed in sensitive positions.
How do you game the system in D&D? Shaved dice? Counterfeit hit charts?
I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
I had to pretend I was gay to get kicked out of the military. I'd much rather have just played a board game.
Agreed! I know quite a few.. they are very anti social, they are fat, they look funny, and they SMELL REAL BAD. Not someone you'd like to be around for too long.
Why does the IDF believe the game is so dangerous?
"These people have a tendency to be influenced by external factors which could cloud their judgment, a military official says. They may be detached from reality(...)
You watching TV ? What is that, holly-fricking-wood liberals ? You outa here ! What book is that, son ? So you say its fiction, like it only exists in your head ? I see. You have been promoted to toillet cleaner, second class. Slashwhat? Look at me! Im talking to you. Stop typing and stand up right away! What do you think you are doing, writing, reading and being influenced by these international techno-babble freaks ?
Quem a paca cara compra, paca cara pagará.
before he hefted a beer keg over his head while all his frends chanted "ogre, ogre, ogre".
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Yeah, just think of what would happen if they ran at an enemy shouting "LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT!" and throwing balls of tinfoil...
Probably redundant by now, but oh well.
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Ehrm...And who exactly doesn't frown on D&D, other than sadistic DMs and the dicerollers who love them?
Elmar, a level 12 half elf thief walks into a college party:
Rolling 20 sided die, possible outcomes:
1-15 Every girl there that happens to notice Elmar laughs and shakes their head sadly - Charisma -3
16-18 Other partygoers dump beer on nerd taunting him unmercifully - Defense -3
19 Jocks perform +5 super atomic wedgie on Elmar grievously injuring him
20 It is dark in the closet you are locked in. You are likely to be eaten by a GRUE.
Not all D&D players are your typical generalization.
that's why it's called a generalization and not an absolute, numb nuts.
+1 Slashdotting Jack Chick
Just think of all the souls he'll save BEFORE the slashdot effect kicks in.
Aside from that, Black Leaf in the Chick tract is a hottie and Elfstar/Debbie should be played by Uma in Dark Dungeons: The Movie.
Hahahahah! Where's your Jesus now?!
I never have gotten the hang of vowels.
I should have been born an ancient Hebrew.
-Peter
Not to be mean but some of you trekkie / D&D types are really scary. Don't get me wrong, I love to program, but I get scared when I see your long greasy hair/cowboy hat/D&D attire.
2 years and no mod points. Join reddit. Because openness is good.
Am I then only one that see's a bunch of soldiers with rocks yelling
Soldier = "LIGHTNING BOLT!!! LIGHTNING BOLT!!"
Enemy in big homemade suit = "RAWGRAWGRAWRG"
Soldier = "LIGHTNING BOLT!!! LIGHTNING BOLT!!"
...I put on my robe and wizard hat...
The game has also increased in popularity due to the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Yeah, before 1955 D&D wasnt NEARLY as popular...
Bzzzt. Wrong.
There is no precursor to the Rapture - the entire point is that no precondition is necessary, we could be taken and sadly, many of you left behind without a hope. If you know the truth and don't act on it before the Rapture, you have no chance.
This is eternity, folks. You choose - smoking or non-smoking for eternity. You can accept the Lord Jesus Christ's free gift of salvation, He paid the price for my sin, your sin, everyone's sin. But only if you ACCEPT the gift can you RECEIVE the gift.
Just pray, from your deepest heart, and cover these points:
- admit you're a sinner
- admit you cannot change that
- accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord
- accept His gift of salvation
- ask forgiveness for the totality of sins you've committed
- acknowledge that the Lord Jesus Christ died, was buried for three days, and rose again as proof of the resurrection.
If you do that and REALLY mean it, you are saved. Some that call themselves Christians (Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah Witness) will tell you that is not sufficient. The Bible says otherwise. You need to pick - put your trust in humans (the pope, the mormon apostles and prophet, the watchtower); or put your trust in God.
Yeah, but if they're elves they are less vulerable to mind-affecting stuff like that, and if the candidate has a high Will save, they're probably not much of a risk, unless they blow a roll somewhere.
"These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined" --Homer re:
Just too many D&D'ers must ask themselves what is the alignment of my army, and come up with the answer Lawful Evil.
That's right. The military would certainly reject me on the grounds that I am Chaotic Evil, and just as likely to fire on my comrades as the enemy --- discriminating bastards.
WTF? First of all, goats are kosher. Second of all, an animal MUST have cloven hooves to be Kosher. If it doesn't have cloven hooves it CAN'T be eaten.
"I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench 'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints off to Washington."
It's simple: I demand prosecution for torture.
Shh ... you'll ruin his happy ignorance.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Best not annoy him too much, or he'll publish a tract about how Slashdot is the work of the Devil.
I wonder if he has an opinion on the BSD Daemon?
-Stephen
I agree too. The military are well known for being rational.
In fact, why stop there?
Next, they should refuse to give you a license for having played Burnout
(They should also pay you in kmart vouchers if you admit to ever having gambled in your life)
but I guess the non-brutal, loving members of Hezbollah probably roll play all the time. "ok ali - roll this 20 sided dice to see how many children you killed on the bus you just suicide bombed"
Actually, from TFA:
"They're detached from reality and suscepitble to influence," the army says. "Also, many of them read Slashdot, and we find those ones have especially small genitalia."
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
I see some issues here. How many politicians "game the system", yet have never played D&D? Ted Kennedy probably never played, but he's one of the masters, you have to be if you can drive drunk, drown a girl and not lose your licence and face a few year's hard time like he should have. The same goes for car salespeople. Lawyers.
Who is this Ted Kennedy? Is he someone in the Bush White House? Yeah, I can see how if he's one of them he'd be of questionable moral and ethical character.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
..but the IDF is worried that the little velvet dice bags hanging off of their belts might get snagged on things and cause problems.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.