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Lord of the Rings Musical to Open in Toronto

MitsuMirage writes "Mirvish Productions is hosting the world opening of The Lord of the Rings musical in Toronto in March 2006. Originally planned for London, UK and to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the publication the trilogy, the musical was moved to Toronto when no theatre was available." From the article: "With a cast of 50 and elaborate staging, the audience will be "plunged into the events as they happen...We have not attempted to pull the novel towards the standard conventions of musical theatre, but rather to expand those conventions so that they will accommodate Tolkien's material." A look is also available at the BBC. We originally mentioned the musical when it was slated to run in Britain.

169 comments

  1. Ob: The One Man Lord Of The Rings by fembots · · Score: 5, Informative

    40 characters. 3 masterworks. 3600 seconds.

    One Man to do it all.

    1. Re:Ob: The One Man Lord Of The Rings by Rei · · Score: 5, Funny

      I can just picture it now... to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody"

      Gandalf: "I see a little silhouetto of an eye!"
      Saruman: "Scaramouche, scaramouche, can hear the eye calling? Thunderbolts and lightning, Lord Sauron is calling thee!"

      (switch scenes)

      Frodo: Samwise Gamgee!
      Samwise: Mr. Frodo!
      Frodo: Samwise Gamgee!
      Samwise: Mr. Frodo!
      Frodo: Samwise Gamgee, off the road!
      (chorus): The Nazgul come!!! ... oy, I better stop myself, this could get bad.

      --
      "Here's a fun fact: the moon has turned to blood!" -- Newscaster, "Jesus Christ Supercop"
    2. Re:Ob: The One Man Lord Of The Rings by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 1
      This reminds me of the movie Free Enterprise. William Shatner discusses with a couple of soon-to-be 30-year-old Trekkies his idea of a musical Julius Caeser, full text, in which Shatner plays all the roles (well, except Calpurnia).

      I think a quote from this movie would also apply to the musical Lord of the Rings:
      "A musical Julius Caeser is probably the worst idea I've heard since New Coke."

    3. Re:Ob: The One Man Lord Of The Rings by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      At least some of the music is supposed to be supplied by Värttinä, so if nothing else it will be OK with one's eyes closed...

  2. Bah! by spidergoat2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm waiting for Lord Of The Rings On Ice!

    1. Re:Bah! by kc0re · · Score: 1, Funny

      This is about as close as you can get. What's next? Return of the Jedi... the musical?
      *starts singing..* you're not my faaaaaaaaaatttheeeeerrr. .....

    2. Re:Bah! by macaulay805 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm waiting for Lord Of The Rings On Ice!

      ... and StarWars in space!

      ... ohh wait ...

    3. Re:Bah! by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 4, Funny
      Simpsons actually had an episode once in which Mark Hamill did a guest appearance. I don't remember the whole thing, but there was a Star Wars musical and he did in fact sing "Luke be a Jedi Tonight" to the tune of "Luck be a Lady Tonight" from Guys and Dolls;-)

      Personally, I enjoyed the over-the-top comments from the producer like, "The environment surrounds us and we are in Middle Earth." I guess their insurance premiums are going to skyrocket after Orcs eat the folks in the mezzanine;-)

      --
      If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
    4. Re:Bah! by ackthpt · · Score: 1
      I'm waiting for Lord Of The Rings On Ice!

      How about Lord of the Rings the Flash:

      The ring ring ring ring ring ring
      In Hobbiton!
      Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
      In Hobbiton!

      I've got this feeling
      so appealing
      for us to go out and destroy the ring - RING!
      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    5. Re:Bah! by dokkeri · · Score: 1

      I'm waiting for Lord Of The Rings "The Musical" and "On Ice" extended DVD boxed set.

      --
      This sig is funny.
    6. Re:Bah! by fitten · · Score: 1

      The Riverdance Director's edition?

    7. Re:Bah! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't they do everything on ice in Toronto?

    8. Re:Bah! by spdt · · Score: 1

      Now, I am no Star Wars expert, but I do play one every once in a while. And I'm not really this nitpicky, but I thought it would be fun to point out. Luke doesn't say "you're not my father" in Return of the Jedi, but in The Empire Strikes Back. By Return of the Jedi, he has accepted that he is his father. Note: If this comment happened to spoil anything for anyone, GO AND SEE STAR WARS (IV, V, AND VI) RIGHT NOW!

    9. Re:Bah! by Rei · · Score: 1

      Note: If this comment happened to spoil anything for anyone, GO AND SEE STAR WARS (IV, V, AND VI) RIGHT NOW!

      If that comment happened to spoil anything for anyone reading this, I suggest that they make sure to collect an ample supply of ochre and azurite before the winter snow sets in so that they can whittle away the hours by adding new pictographs to their cave walls.

      --
      "Here's a fun fact: the moon has turned to blood!" -- Newscaster, "Jesus Christ Supercop"
    10. Re:Bah! by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      There's also a classic SnL skit with Bill Murray playing a lounge singer/pianist in what looked like some sort of tropical bar. I can't really remember many of the lyrics, except something about darth vader in that big scary mask.

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    11. Re:Bah! by carpe_noctem · · Score: 1

      I would like to take this opportunity to pre-emptively mock the first slashdotter that will inevitably reply to your post with the exact quotes (including corrections for your paraphrasing) as well as the Simpson's episode number to which you are referring.

      --
      "Quoting famous computer scientists out of context is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming." - K
  3. Oh my god that scared me... by Alpha_Traveller · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I thought for sure they were talking about "Fellowship" the Tap-Dancing hobbit musical in LA...

    http://www.dailytrojan.com/news/2005/01/21/Lifesty le/TapDancing.Hobbits.Bring.New.Light.To.ring-8375 27.shtml

    --
    "Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." (Lisa Hoffman)
  4. Oblig Simpsons by da3dAlus · · Score: 1

    "I love legitimate theater."
    "This play has everything!"

    --

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
  5. I can't wait to see the parody on the Simpsons... by ackthpt · · Score: 3, Funny
    Hum along...

    Luke, be a Jedi tonight!
    Just be a Jedi tonight!
    Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda.
    Uh, and do it for Chewie and the Ewoks, and all the other puppets ...
    Luke, be a Jedi tonight!

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  6. starring by PoopJuggler · · Score: 3, Funny

    Troy McClure as Frodo

    1. Re:starring by justkarl · · Score: 1

      Nancy Kerrigan as Arwen

    2. Re:starring by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i was thinking Reiner Wolfcastle...

    3. Re:starring by Rei · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hey, if you do bad enough of a cast, it could be amusing (sort of a "Springtime for Hitler" effect):

      The voice of the ring: Michael Dorn ("Worf")
      Frodo: A muppet, voiced by Leonardo DiCaprio
      Sam: Lewis Black
      Bilbo: Danny Devito
      Aragorn: Robin Williams
      Boromir: Dick Cheney (come on, who else would try to take the ring?)
      Gimli: Jack Nicholson
      Gollum: Carrot Top
      Gandalf: Uri Geller
      Saruman: David Blaine
      Arwen: Joanie Lauer (Chyna)
      Legolas: Howard Stern
      Galadriel: Martha Stewart
      Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
      Special Effects: Ted Kaczynski

      I had to try hard not to recycle people from my "Worst Firefly Cast Ever", where I had Keanu Reeves as Mal, Graham Norton as Jayne, Roseanne as Kaylee, Chris Rock as Book, Wanda Sykes as Zoe, Rick Moranis as Niska (the space station guy), the Blue Man Group as the guys after River, etc.

      --
      "Here's a fun fact: the moon has turned to blood!" -- Newscaster, "Jesus Christ Supercop"
    4. Re:starring by plasticsquirrel · · Score: 2, Funny

      Phil Hartman is dead, you insensitive clod!

      --
      Systemd: the PulseAudio of init systems
  7. Re: by mr_pollock · · Score: 1

    Beautiful! Any word if this is coming to the United States?

  8. Looking forward to the giant battles by The+Amazing+Fish+Boy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    That ought to be an interesting "interpretation."

    I seriously wonder (not being involved in theatre at all) how they plan on pulling that off. In the movies they used CGI, but on a stage both the space and number of people is limited. Any theatre buffs have any idea on how they'll pull this off?

    1. Re:Looking forward to the giant battles by SiO2 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Any theatre buffs have any idea on how they'll pull this off?

      I'm not a theater buff, but my best guess is poorly.

      SiO2

    2. Re:Looking forward to the giant battles by owlstead · · Score: 1

      I'm not a buff, but I presume they rely on human imagination. Something that's aplenty in humans, with the possible exception of - well - you.

    3. Re:Looking forward to the giant battles by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Shit we did the whole thing back in the mid 70's in suburban Montreal(Though not as a musical). The Hobbit and LOTR over three + years we serialized with installments coming out every third month or so and then we did a gonzo overview in the woods in a city park with the public works guys running power into the trees for the lighting and sound no less. It s theatre you grab their imaginations, give em suprises and keep them wondering how you'll pull of the next scene (btw as one can imagine it makes for great cliffhanger theatre!). Now its true we had no competition no CGI no movie version in fact nothing but the books. The first part was the hardest a credibility problem or something lol but we got them hooked and we kept having to find bigger places to hold performances, heck this kick started and civic theatre program in our town and led to a theatre being built by the city! Some of the people involved went on to careers in the Montreal theatre scene i've heard. The only question i have is what took them so long to do the musical lol!

  9. Bombadil by ctrl-alt-elite · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here's hoping they cut Tom Bombadil out of this one, too...

    1. Re:Bombadil by LurkerXXX · · Score: 1

      Are you kidding? With all his singing, he's the most appropriate character in all the books to end up in a musical. As for the rest of the story in musical format? ugh.

    2. Re:Bombadil by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 1

      Here's hoping they cut Tom Bombadil out of this one, too...

      Yeah, but unfortunately they don't want ENTIRELY to cut him out.

      "Oooh jar jar found a ring!!!"

  10. Re:Quote by jumpingfred · · Score: 1, Funny

    Frodo of the nine fingers and the ring of DOOM.

  11. Starring Troy McClure... by sczimme · · Score: 4, Funny


    "Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You might remember me from such Tolkien epics as Hobbit 2: There and Back Again, Again and Dial M for Mordor..."

    / Oh, my god - I was wrong:
    / It was Frodo all along...

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
    1. Re:Starring Troy McClure... by blackmonday · · Score: 1

      Bah, nowhere near as good as "Hobbit on a Hot Shire Roof".

  12. Re: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    MORE LIKE LORD OF THE NIGGERS


    Beautiful! Any word if this is coming to the United States?

    I believe it has been. You must've missed it by about 150 years.
  13. You'd figure that with 50 years to plan by winkydink · · Score: 4, Funny

    that they could have managed to reserve a theater. :)

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  14. A Slashdot First! by Chatmag · · Score: 1

    All the hotel web sites have been slashdotted.

    --
    Pete Carr Owner Chatmag.com
    1. Re:A Slashdot First! by tomhudson · · Score: 0, Troll
      Poster wrote:
      A Slashdot First!

      All the hotel web sites have been slashdotted.
      I doubt it - it's in Toronto:
      ... in Toronto in March 2006
      Seeing as Toronto is the 5th-largest city in North America (after Mexico City, Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago), and #1 on the B*O*R*I*N*G index ...

      http://www.city.toronto.on.ca/economic_profile/

      One quarter of Canada's population lives within a 160 kilometre (100-mile) radius of Toronto.
      ... it's the city everyone else in Canada loves to hate [tt]. Until a couple of decades ago, they still rolled up the sidewalks at 9 pm. If they're showing it in T.O., then they should rename it "Lord of the Bling-Bling" and pitch it to the artsy-fartsy blue-bloods on Bay Street.
  15. Bah! Nothing compared to... by Dirtside · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Fellowship! The Musical Parody of "The Fellowship of the Ring." Playing in Hollywood for only another week or two, unfortunately, but hopefully they'll continue it somewhere down the line. We've seen it twice, and it's damn hilarious.

    --
    "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
  16. Got the script here by grub · · Score: 4, Funny


    I'm off to destroy the One Ring... after which all the hobbits will siiiinnngggg...

    My pressshhhhious... my pressshhiiiouuusss... we must get the ring backs to ussssss...

    Frodo! Frodo! Be careful where you trod, lest that Golum take the ring whilst you nod...

    Sam, you have eaten all the fooooood. That was very ruuuuuude! I'm most upset... as your lack of respeeeeeccttt...

    To the mountain! To the mountain! The ring will go in the fire, or I am a big fat liaaaarr...

    What shall I do? The ring calls me so... I must say NO! I must say NO! Into the fire you go!

    My pressshiousss... I will not linger! I will get you and eat his finnngeeerrrrr!

    Into the lava, into the lava!

    [chorus] We're a happy Hobbit town! Our frowns have all turned upside down!

    [curtain drops]

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  17. "Lord of the Rings Musical"?! by Anita+Coney · · Score: 1

    April 4th is coming sooner and sooner!

    --
    If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
  18. I'm not buff... by ImaLamer · · Score: 1

    ... but I assume that once you fill the stage you make it start to look like there are a lot of people and you get the point.

    Either that or they will use a background which has faces painted on them (and they would also move that back and forth).

    On the other hand, they may not show the battles at all because theater is supposed to capture the drama and comedy and so forth, not the action. They may simply say "The battle of Evermore has started" and show the fall out (dead bodies, etc).

  19. Any idea on how they'll pull this off? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Audience members are given swords and colored jerseys and fight it out to actually determine how the play will end.

    1. Re:Any idea on how they'll pull this off? by Bagels · · Score: 1

      Reminds me of the Far Side cartoon... bunch of knights preparing to joust, while one of them is crying "Skins? Why do we *always* have to go skins? I'm telling you guys, this is a bad idea!"

      --
      --- Bwah?
  20. Oh come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    alright, this is "aesthetically" more ok compared to the tons of merchandising (games etc u name it) but still.... Give us a moments pity!

    LOTR was made into movie, fine, good, soundtrack was awesome (i play it regularly) but how about spending some book time with it?

    i've seen the movies so much i feel an urgent need to refresh myself on what really happened... and now this? please....wait 15 years?

    1. Re:Oh come on by Valiss · · Score: 1

      refresh myself on what really happened

      That kinda says it all, doesn't it?

      --

      -Valiss
    2. Re:Oh come on by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i've seen the movies so much

      Looks like the problem is with you and nobody else. Watch a movie once, enjoy, move on.

  21. Meaningless Gibberish by 314m678 · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    We have not attempted to pull this post towards standard conventions of slash dot mockery, but rather expand those conventions to include this post.

    1. Re:Meaningless Gibberish by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      FUCK Y0U AND LICK DICK

  22. Run away! Run Away! by craw · · Score: 1

    This musical looks more appealing to me.

    I have no idea how they are going to handle the flying cow.

    1. Re:Run away! Run Away! by pjaromin · · Score: 1

      Seen it in Chicago...they chuck a stuffed cow over the castle wall. Hank Azaria makes a great frenchman, but I felt Tim Curry's talents were somewhat wasted.

  23. Featured songs by Dark+Paladin · · Score: 5, Funny

    One (sung by Gandalf, to the tune of "One"):

    Well it's - one Ring,
    To bind,
    And hold them in the darkness -
    Tonight

    It's One, but we're, not the same
    We'll just hurt each other

    I'm Too Sexy (Sung by Aragorn):

    I'm - to sexy for my sword,
    To sexy for my shield, to sexy for my shirt
    So sexy it hurts,

    And I'm, to sexy for shampoo,
    My hair is long and greasy,
    But girls don't think I'm freaky,
    No way I'm becoming the High King

    I'm a Ranger, you know what I mean,
    And I'm dating a real hot Elf girl
    Oh, an Elf girl, yeah.....

    Fish Heads (Sung by Golem)

    Fish heads, fish heads,
    Rolly polly fish heads
    Fish heads, fish heads,
    Eat them up - yum!
    (OK, so no word changes - but why mess with a classic?)

    1. Re:Featured songs by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 1

      I'm a Ranger, you know what I mean,
      And I'm dating a real hot Elf girl

      Somebody better tell Aragorn that Legolas isn't a girl.. ;)

    2. Re:Featured songs by onemorechip · · Score: 1

      One (sung by Gandalf, to the tune of "One"):

      Well it's - one Ring,
      To bind,
      And hold them in the darkness -
      Tonight

      It's One, but we're, not the same
      We'll just hurt each other


      Somehow, I just can't hear those lyrics to Three Dog Night's music.

      --
      But, I wanted socialized health insurance!
    3. Re:Featured songs by hcdejong · · Score: 1

      That's because it's a U2 song, lyrics here.

    4. Re:Featured songs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Er, U2 != Johnny Cash.

    5. Re:Featured songs by hcdejong · · Score: 1

      Duh. It was written by U2, but Cash covered it on one of his last albums (American III: Solitary Man). That's where I knew it from, so that's how I found the lyrics.

  24. Re: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Isn't GNAA already a United States association?

  25. Tom Bombadil? by Geoffreyerffoeg · · Score: 1

    I hope they keep Tom Bombadil in this adaptation.

    1. Re:Tom Bombadil? by Malc · · Score: 1

      With all his songs? That would surely leave insufficient time to tell the rest of the story!

    2. Re:Tom Bombadil? by owlstead · · Score: 1

      So short after the release of the film, it would baffle at least half of the crowd. Who's that guy? He wasn't in the original movie, or was he? They should not mess with the script! After seeing a man turn into a bear, wolfs and big spiders before even getting near Mordor that half will have left and demanded their money back.

  26. Re: by justkarl · · Score: 1

    That's only funny because you're deadly serious.

  27. Something tells me... by JeTmAn81 · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...this isn't going to help eliminate the running jokes about gay subtext between Sam and Frodo.

    --
    "Me? Lady, I'm your worst nightmare -- a pumpkin with a gun."
    1. Re:Something tells me... by justkarl · · Score: 1

      Yeah, especially if they ever get Bryan Adams :)

  28. The greatest adventure by ExistentialEngineer · · Score: 2, Funny

    If the 'inspired' music of "the Hobbit" animated movie is any sort of indicator we could be in for a treat!

  29. But as soon as Gandalf faces the Balrog, ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 1
    the entire rink would melt. And where's the fun in that? Scores of soggy hobbits. That would make any child sad. And imagine this smell: wet Gollum.

    Nuff said.

    1. Re:But as soon as Gandalf faces the Balrog, ... by DrEldarion · · Score: 1

      See, they could mix up the story a bit and have the Balrog flashback right before the Isengard flood.

  30. Re: Is it coming to the United States? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No, but the United States will come to it when GWB invades Canada. (+0.5 funny, but lame)

  31. Hat Trick by MudButt · · Score: 1

    LOTR... Musicals... Slashdot member...

    I am now in possession of the trifecta of "never to be laid". =)

    1. Re:Hat Trick by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Don't forget your name is "MudButt."

      MudButt: Hey, baby, I heard about this LOTR Musical on Slashdot... wanna go?
      Girl: LOTR? Musical? Slashdot? I love that trifecta!
      MudButt: Could it be? Is MudButt finally to be laid?
      Girl: MudButt? Your name is MudButt? We're through! I'll give my vagina to some Anonymous Coward, instead!
      MudButt: Anaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhnnnnnnymous!!

  32. Re:Quote by Dr.+Evil · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why does he have nine fingers?

  33. For people unfamiliar with Canada by EulerX07 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Toronto is our version of Minas Morgul. Their motto is "one city to rule them all, from the center of the universe, for the rest of time".

    Wait until it hits the road...

    1. Re:For people unfamiliar with Canada by AndroidCat · · Score: 1

      Either Isengard or the Baradur in Mordor, surely. It's got that tower, you know.

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    2. Re:For people unfamiliar with Canada by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Note from the spelling nazis: that would be "the centre of the universe". But I knew what you meant: there is nowhere else significant in Canada. :D

    3. Re:For people unfamiliar with Canada by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Ah, Canada...... Toronto's backyard.

      (And Michigan.... Toronto's garbage dump)

    4. Re:For people unfamiliar with Canada by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      That's not true! Canada has at least another 2 or 3 city-states controlling the rest of the countryside. Montreal used to be one until the PQ decided to sabotage it and go rural. Vancouver's definitely one, Calgary possibly, and Halifax for sure (not because of size or port but because there's very little else out east).

      It's a fucking fantastic system - cottages for all! Um, don't forget the snow tires.

    5. Re:For people unfamiliar with Canada by EulerX07 · · Score: 1

      Well, Toronto is right next to the border, like Minas Morgul. Baradur would be Ottawa.

  34. Moved to Toronto when no theatre was available by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They ran out of theaters in Britain did they? Something smells fishy. Juicy sweet fishy.

  35. Sweet! by d_jedi · · Score: 1

    The preciouses is ourses!

    You're damn right I'll have opening night seats..

    --
    I am the maverick of Slashdot
  36. Forget seeing this on Broadway... by Alpha_Traveller · · Score: 1

    There's no way Matt Groening crew will pass this up. Guaranteed this is going to be a Simpsons episode about this.

    --
    "Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." (Lisa Hoffman)
    1. Re:Forget seeing this on Broadway... by slothman32 · · Score: 1

      I liked the "Planet of the Apes" musical better. Hows come they never make a real show like that?

      --
      Why don't you guys have friends or journals?
    2. Re:Forget seeing this on Broadway... by drsquare · · Score: 1

      At what exact point did the Simpsons turn from an amusing satire into a lame cartoon that latches onto every single fad, celebrity and political-issue-of-the-day, turning each into an instantly-forgettable episode with dull stereotypes and unfunny jokes?

    3. Re:Forget seeing this on Broadway... by Alpha_Traveller · · Score: 1

      I dunno. I'd give you an exact date but their Web site leaves me smitten with banal hilarity.

      --
      "Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." (Lisa Hoffman)
  37. Oh god by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I immediately had a vision of that guy Michael Flatley from http://www.lordofthedance.com/, playing the part of Frodo, tippity-tapping his way across Middle Earth to Mordor destroy the One Ring, while a bevy of Hobbits, Elves, Dwarves, and Men dance a jig behind him with arms straight down at their sides.

    1. Re:Oh god by Valiss · · Score: 2, Funny

      And when it's "LOTR: On Ice," we can get Brian Boitano to play lead.

      --

      -Valiss
    2. Re:Oh god by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I -WAS- having a good day until that visual. Thanks you bastard.

    3. Re:Oh god by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Looking for a "Valiss" that i knew a couple years ago... this is Turtle... from palace... justaturtle@yahoo.com

  38. Canada, eh? by meikon · · Score: 1

    Shit, Thomson, wasn't it your responsibility to book us a theatre??
    ---
    Frankly, I'm a little overfed on LOTR now. Don't get me wrong, best book in the world, but too much hype.
    ---
    Curious of the prices, I typed in 'princess of whales toronto' in the Firefox address bar. Little did I know that I would end up on a page for sex tourism...I couldn't duplicate it, so I must have typed something wrong. http://rotator.siam-data.com/Choice.html for those interested :P

    1. Re:Canada, eh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      i doubt Aragorn went to Gondor for sex tourism reasons though, so that would be a wee bit out of context

    2. Re:Canada, eh? by Malc · · Score: 1

      The one thing that is more disturbing than you incorrectly spelling Wales is all the web sites out there that Google turns up with the same mistake!

  39. Typo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    (...) it was slated to run in Britain.
    should't be 'it was slated to ruin Britain'?

    1. Re:Typo by catdevnull · · Score: 1

      Ohh, if I only had Mod points--you'd get a funny.

      --

      I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...
  40. Oh God, let it DIE! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The books are already there. I'm not a fan at all, but fans have the originals to slobber and drone about...why must the rest of us be crushed under the weight of this shit too?!

  41. Like my momma always says... by Bodhi_D · · Score: 1

    The ultimate form of tribute is jazz hands.

  42. Flamebait... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    OK, so I know this is a politically incorrect pun (on this and my own post), but uh, isn't a LOTR Musical flamebait? I mean....

    The world is going to hell in a jet-propelled handbasket.

  43. I wonder if an opera would be good... by SmokeHalo · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...with Elmer Fudd as Sauron.

    Sauron:
    Kill da hobbit!
    Kill da hobbit,
    With my orcs and flying Nazgul!


    Frodo:
    Flying Nazgul?

    Sauron:
    Yes, flying Nazgul!
    Let me give you a sample...

    --
    I'm not good in groups. It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent. - Q
  44. obligatory 1970's reference by pinkfalcon · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do they have Orc's singing "Where there's a whip, there's a way"?

    --
    Real SUV's don't have cupholders
    It's 5:42 A.M., do you know where your stack pointer is?
    1. Re:obligatory 1970's reference by AndroidCat · · Score: 1

      When you're a Orc,
      You're a Orc all the way
      From your first Morgul shiv
      To your last dyin' day.

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    2. Re:obligatory 1970's reference by pizzaman100 · · Score: 2, Funny

      They should include the The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins by Leonard Nimoy too. ;)

  45. Can't wait till it gets to Broadway by arhar · · Score: 1

    !!! This is going to be AWESOME.

  46. Re:Quote by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 1

    You have a four-digit UID and you don't recognize that quote? Inconceivable!

  47. the Tony Awards... by fanfriggintastic · · Score: 1

    Wow, just imagine how many people will be pissed when LOTR wins 11 Tony's too!

    --
    This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is a tribute.
  48. Re:I can't wait to see the parody on the Simpsons. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Track 2:

    Darth Vader is not my father
    He's just a dude who say's that I am his son ...

  49. MOD PARENT DOWN!! by fembots · · Score: 0, Troll

    This is Informative?!?! You're wasting time and space here!

    Wait? You mean I'm still in my fembots costume?

  50. "No theater available"? by fm6 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    That sounds strange, considering how many theaters there are in greater London. The official line is, "no theatre [was] available to accommodate the massive and technically complex three-hour production". I suspect there was, but the one in Toronto was cheaper. So if the Toronto production doesn't do well enough to justify the expense of staging it in Toronto, the show will never make it back to London.

  51. Sounds like a "Whose Line" skit... by jpellino · · Score: 1

    And who can forget those hairy-foot-tapping show tunes,

    "I'm Just Wild About Merry"
    "Send In the Orcs"
    "Hello, Gollum!"
    "Get Me To The Crack On Time"

    --
    "Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
  52. Re:Quote by CrackedButter · · Score: 1

    A huge fucking book AND probably over 9 hours of film making led up to the scene where they finally throw the ring into Mount Doom and you're asking why Frodo had 9 fingers. Whats a matter did the most pivotal scene in the entire trilogy which the film had been building up to catch you off guard?

  53. I wonder how much... by CaptainPotato · · Score: 2, Interesting

    ... Wagner influence there might be in the staging of it. Regardless of what his politics may or may not have been, the Ring Cycle (Der Ring des Nibelungen) occurs to me as being a way that it could be done. Aside from the obvious comparisons to draw (the length of the thing comes to mind... imagine sixteen or more hours of LOTR musical), I imagine that opera would be a more suitable format than a musical (as other posters have quipped, after this it goes on ice...).

    From the first Act:

    There is one sword
    That he could not shatter
    Nothung's splinters
    Would baffle his strength,
    Could I but forge
    Those doughty fragments
    That all my skill
    Cannot weld anew.
    Could I but forge the weapon,
    Shame and toil would win their reward!

    Sound like something from which the LOTR musical could take inspiration from?

    --
    I heard that your library burnt down and destroyed your only two books - and one was not even coloured in yet.
    1. Re:I wonder how much... by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 1

      Regardless of what his politics may or may not have been?

    2. Re:I wonder how much... by CaptainPotato · · Score: 1

      Wagner is an idol of elements of the far right, and he certainly had some troubling views on Jews, for instance. However, regardless of whether this is an issue, the Ring Cycle would provide a good model for how to interpret LOTR for the stage.

      --
      I heard that your library burnt down and destroyed your only two books - and one was not even coloured in yet.
    3. Re:I wonder how much... by Futaba-chan · · Score: 1

      If it's anything like the Toronto production of Siegfried that I saw last month, Shelob will be a troupe of dancers, Mordor will be abstract art, and the whole quest will take place in Frodo's head. Somehow, I don't think that's what they have in mind....

    4. Re:I wonder how much... by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 1
      Wagner is an idol of elements of the far right
      So that would be their political views, not his. I didn't realize artists were morally culpable for that failings of everyone who happens to like their work.
    5. Re:I wonder how much... by CaptainPotato · · Score: 1

      ... but don't forget the rest of the sentence: "and he certainly had some troubling views on Jews, for instance". Take a look at: this article for a little more information.

      --
      I heard that your library burnt down and destroyed your only two books - and one was not even coloured in yet.
    6. Re:I wonder how much... by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 1

      I've no doubt he was anti-semetic--but so was most of Europe at the time. I see his anti-semetism as more of a problem of culturalization than his politics. Which is not to make light of what he said, but it needs to be considered in light of his social context.

      Lincoln, for instance, wrote a number of rather racist things about African-americans. However, this is usually seen more as a reflection of pre-civil war US society than a personal flaw in Lincoln's character.

      I think a similar view should be held toward Wagner. He wasn't more anti-semetic than his contemporaries, so I don't see why he is singled out as being singularly anti-semetic, other than a misguided sense of guilt by association whereby the fact that, decades after his death, his music was co-opted by the Nazis makes him vaguely responsible for their crimes.

    7. Re:I wonder how much... by hachete · · Score: 1

      Wagner was one of those who *promoted* anti-semtism as part of building a larger Germany. Even in the context of the times, he strayed heavily towards being actively anti-semitic. But he didn't go as far as touting extermination. That would be left to Cosima to support. His operas are heavily orchestrated towards building a Germanic state, dredging up the stories of the Volk, and some say making them implicitly, if not explicitly anti-semitic. I think this makes him than averagely bound to the anti-semitic discourse.

      --
      Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious
  54. I can see it now... by CupBeEmpty · · Score: 2, Funny

    A whole chorus line of Orcs in straw boater hats with Canes dancing around Minas Morgul while an off stage voice sings a (very baritone) ditty about crushing all the friends of the light.

    [lights fade as Mount Doom erupts dramatically in the background and immediately fade in stage left]

    A drunk Sam and Frodo jaunt through the Shire [stage right to left] singing "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

    [qeue Gandalf stage left]

    Startled Hobbits quickly turn to overjoyed hobbits and hug the old Wizard. However they are quickly stricken with panic as Gandalf throws the ring round Frodo's neck and tells him to get to Mount Doom.

    [the entire cast of Heroes enters stage left]

    All the heroes (backed by a chorus of elves in armor and Rohirrim on horseback) sing an uplifting ballad about hope in the darkest hour.

    [curtain falls on Frodo down on one knee spotlighted center stage]

    INTERMISSION

    An invisible Frodo is wrestling with Gollum on the brink of Mount Doom. Gollum bites off Frodo's finger falling into pit, destroing ring.

    [Final chorus enters... everyone together... orcs hand in hand with hobbits... and Sauron arm in arm with Aragorn... Saruman and Gnadalf holding both hands crossed in center and spinning]

    Sing about good vs. evil

    FIN

  55. You forgote one - Re:Featured songs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ring of Fire, sung by Frodo. Sam and Gollum provide background vocals.

  56. Prior art! by AndroidCat · · Score: 1

    Just what we need, another endless musical ring cycle saga lasting days. (And they'll probably still cut the bit in the Shire at the end.) "a full performance of the cycle takes place over four nights at the opera, with a total playing time of about 15 hours" - And you thought watching all the DVDs was a bad case of numb-bum. Wagner's lawyers will be in touch.

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    1. Re:Prior art! by Futaba-chan · · Score: 1

      The punch line, of course, is that the Ring Cycle is already coming to Toronto next year....

  57. A little information about Ed Mirvish by asoap · · Score: 4, Interesting
    You guys might find him interesting.

    Here is a link to the wiki page.

    He started a business called honest Eds, which is now a landmark in Toronto. Imagine a crummy little store, with a GIANT "Honest Ed's" sign, and thousands and thousands of light bulbs lit up just like the las vegas strip. All the lights turn off/on in the usual patterns. One thing to note also, I don't know if this is true, but one of his marketing gimmicks was to stand infront of his store with a big fist of $1 dollar bills. He would bet people walking by that they couldn't go into his store and buy something the liked for a dollar. Regardless if it worked or not, people did go inside and find all of his great deals.

    --
    Treat me like a marketing stat, and I'll treat your movie like a series of ones and zeros
  58. Lord of the Rings 2005 by Evil+W1zard · · Score: 1

    The Fellowship of the Bling -- Where Frodo and his gang of Hobbit Bloods must protect his phat gear from the rival Crip orcs. Treebears to be played by a very large LAPD officer.

    --
    News Reporters Make Tasty Polar Bear Treats!
    1. Re:Lord of the Rings 2005 by ch-chuck · · Score: 1

      They did it to The Wizard of OZ so don't be too suprised.

      --
      try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
    2. Re:Lord of the Rings 2005 by ch-chuck · · Score: 1
      --
      try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
    3. Re:Lord of the Rings 2005 by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 1

      Actually, it's been done.

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  59. Re:Quote by JeTmAn81 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hey you guys, now you've spoiled it for him...I tell ya, it's getting harder and harder for people who live under a giant rock in this day and age.

    --
    "Me? Lady, I'm your worst nightmare -- a pumpkin with a gun."
  60. Oooh by MightyMartian · · Score: 1
    FIRST came the books! Instant classics, beloved and read the world over.

    THEN came the pretty decent BBC series. Not bad. Amusing and listenable

    THEN came the horrific attrocity known as Bakshi's films. Jesus cried when it was made.

    THEN came Peter Jackson, self-style Hobbit. What a pity this unwashed Kiwi halfling couldn't have even made a shallow attempt to follow the story.

    FINALLY the musical. Sure to satisfy the cravings of every semi-literate retard!

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
    1. Re:Oooh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      THEN came Peter Jackson, self-style Hobbit. What a pity this unwashed Kiwi halfling couldn't have even made a shallow attempt to follow the story.

      Personally, I thought Peter Jackson's flims were great movies and the probably the best flim adaptations we can expect. He did a great job of presenting the atmosphere and setting of the books, while also keeping most of the important themes and plot elements. That's the best you can ask for because the mediums are so different.

      If you want to see a horrificly mangled film adaptation, see Dustin Hoffman's "Postman". Read the book first though, then you will appreciate that after the first third the adaptation stops and the near total re-write begins.

      You are right about the Bakshi's films though, I think it was a shame Tolkien died before special effects could do his imaginary world justice.

    2. Re:Oooh by MightyMartian · · Score: 1

      I don't think the films were so great. The only real improvement was Boromir, and what they did to Gimli was idiotic, and the sign that shallow, infantile minds were at play.

      --
      The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  61. Possible spinoffs from the LOTR musical by Mikito · · Score: 1

    If the musical is a success, maybe they'll adapt it into a book. Or maybe even a trilogy. If they're lucky, they might be able to get a movie deal out of this.

    --
    Anakin Simpson: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy--ooh, donuts!
  62. Re:I'm still waiting for... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The correct phrase is, "Come on ya fuckin' faggoty Slashmod bitches!"

  63. Boooooring... by The+Fanta+Menace · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Ok, it's flamebait, I know, but really...

    Lord of the Rings and musical in one sentence? Either of them, alone, is bad enough, but together, I'd rather spend several hours listening to Donald Rumsfeld recite his favourite passages from Revelations...

    --
    -- Even if a god did exist, why the fsck should I worship it?
    1. Re:Boooooring... by hiryuu · · Score: 1

      ...I'd rather spend several hours listening to Donald Rumsfeld recite his favourite passages from Revelations...

      Be careful - you may get your wish.

      :)

      --
      Karma: Excellent, but still won't get you laid.
  64. Re:Quote by Senobyzal · · Score: 1

    "Why does he have nine fingers" is another line from the song, IIRC.

  65. Re:Quote by rizzo5 · · Score: 2, Informative

    You recognised the original quote, but not the followup? Inconceivable, indeed!

    Frodo of the Nine Fingers
    And the Ring of Doom
    Why does he have nine fingers?
    Where is the Ring of Doom?

  66. Re:Quote by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 1

    Ok, I haven't read the book for awhile, so sue me. ;)

    /Hands over Tolkien geek card

  67. Re:Typo [tt] by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    (...) it was slated to run in Britain.
    should't be 'it was slated to ruin Britain'?
    ... until the Queen said "Off with his head!".

    Normally, I don't cotton to royalty, but I'll make an exception in this case

    Just part of my boycott of everything "Lord of the Ring"-ish. Besides, you KNOW they would have had to find some sinecure for Sir Elton John ... and maybe another one for His Royal Highness Dumbo, and/or Lady Parker-Bowl-legged.

  68. Re:Quote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    A huge fucking book AND probably over 9 hours of film making led up to the scene where they finally throw the ring into Mount Doom and you're asking why Frodo had 9 fingers. Whats a matter did the most pivotal scene in the entire trilogy which the film had been building up to catch you off guard?


    They made a movie?

  69. Buh? by Gothic_Walrus · · Score: 3, Funny

    How has the thread gotten so far without a link to The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins?

    --
    Goo goo g'joob.
  70. Re:Quote by rizzo5 · · Score: 1

    Oh don't hand it over just yet. I don't think that was in the book, just a cheesy Glen Yarborough song from the ueber cheesy Rankin-Bass animated version of Return of the King. Of course, Glen used Tolkien's poems as lyrics in the Rankin-Bass production of The Hobbit, so it might be in the book after all, in which case maybe _I_ should hand in my Tolkien geek card...

  71. DOH by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 1

    Do you realize that was a parody of "The Ride of the Valkyries" by Wagner?

    Your joke would have been excellent, but see... Wagner and Tolkien's works are well... what can I say... similar. And I doubt an opera about LOTR couldn't possibly match Wagner's masterpiece of art.

  72. Re:Quote by FuzzyBad-Mofo · · Score: 1

    You're right. I checked the book, and they don't actually write out the song. The bard announces the song title, then "..the host laughed and wept, and in the midst of their merriment and tears the clear voice of the minstrel rose like silver and gold.." (RotK silver anniversary edition, p232). So to the grandparent, nyah! ;)

    By the way, I too have seen the animated RotK, and it is indeed cheesier than muenster. As if skipping directly from Bag End to Mordor wasn't bad enough, the 70's-style music is way too self-indulgent. (unlike the tolerable soundtrack to the Hobbit, probably because those were mostly based on Tolkien's work)

  73. Christopher Lee! by Rakarra · · Score: 1
    Please tell me that Christopher Lee will be singing and dancing in this. It's been 21 years since his last singing role, I'm sure Saruman has a great voice!

    1. Re:Christopher Lee! by Elf-friend · · Score: 1

      Personally, I'd rather see him as Gandalf for a change. He was Tolkien's choice, afterall.

  74. Shelob by m0rphm0nkey · · Score: 1

    So....how do they get the big spider to sing? I'll pay for a ticket just to see that. m

  75. What by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You people scare me.

    Gunillablue

  76. My question is... by DarkMantle · · Score: 1
    Actually, two questions.
    1. Will it have Tom Bombadil? I was really hoping to see him in the movie
    2. Who the hell is gonna sit there for 10 hours? (Based on extended movies lengths) And in the end still only see half what was written by tolkien.
    --
    DarkMantle I been bored, so I started a blog.
  77. So if they film the musical... by real+gumby · · Score: 1

    ...it'll be done in Bollywood, right?

    1. Re:So if they film the musical... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Actually the music is done by a bollywood composer.

  78. It was Guys & Dolls in a dinner theatre by sbszine · · Score: 1

    And the marquee read:

    MARK HAMILL is NATHAN DETROIT

    PEPPER STEAK is THE ENTREE

    --

    Vino, gyno, and techno -Bruce Sterling

  79. I never imagined the day... by r_jensen11 · · Score: 0

    ...that Canada would actually ruin anything. Whatever happened to your youthful innocence, Canada?

  80. Aw man, LOTR jumped the shark. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Aaaaaaayyyyeeeee!

  81. Been There done that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    10 years ago I did a Theatrical version of Lord Of the Rings and there was quite a bit of singing.... A large number of the characters where had a sex change.... We fitted the whole thing into 4 hours (ouch)... It was a youth project and recieved a queens grant. Oh yeah I played Frodo

  82. and don't you yokels forget it... by markdowling · · Score: 1

    or we'll stop sending you all our tax dollars by electing Liberals. Yeah, like that's gonna happen :)

  83. rotten fruits of inspiration by aendeuryu · · Score: 1

    This isn't real life, it's just some fantasy.
    Look! It's Sauron's eye, threatening catastrophe.
    His tower is tall, and hobbits are small and wee...

    Frodo: I'm just a poor boy, this ring is haunting me.
    Gandalf: The Nazghul come! It's time to go!
    Samwise: I wish I had some potatoes.

    Gollum: Other than my Precious, nothing really matters to me... To me....

    Gimli: Legolas! I've just killed an orc!
    Legolas: That's nothing Mr. Dwarf, Why just now I killed my fourth...
    Aragorn: Arwen! Our love's just begun, but I fear it's time for me to go away...

    Gollum: Mastah! Oooooooooooo! Get down! The Nazghul fly!
    Frodo: Sometimes I wish I never got this ring at all...
    Samwise: Carry on! Carry on!
    Gollum: Without Precious nothing matters...

    Theoden: It's too late, our time has come.
    How do we fight such hate?
    Aragorn: Let's ride out! We'll all do great!

    Pippin: Goodbye, Merry buddy, I've got to go.
    Merry: On the battlefields of Gondor, I'll see you...

    Gollum: Mastah! Oooooooooo! (Frodo: Where do those Urukai go?)
    We runsiz out of time! This staircase we must climb! (Samwise: But it's so tall...)

    [nonsenical flashback]

    Gandalf: I see a little silhouetto of an eye!
    Saruman: Mordor rules, stupid fool! Can't you hear the eye calling? Thunderbolts and lightning, Lord Sauron is calling thee!

    [switch scenes]

    Frodo: Samwise Gamgee! Samwise: Mr. Frodo!
    Frodo: Samwise Gamgee! Samwise: Mr. Frodo!
    Frodo: Samwise Gamgee, off the road!
    [chorus]: The Nazgul come!!!

    [flash forward]

    Gollum: I'm just a poor boy, give my Precious to me!
    [chorus]: He's just a poor boy, corrupted for eternity! The ring twisted him into this monstrosity!

    Faramir: Give me the ring! Frodo: No! Let me go!
    Samwise: Won't you let us go?
    Fa-ra-mir? Faramar: No! I will not let you go! Frodo: Let me go!
    Samwise: Hey! She-Lob! Shelob: No! I will not let him go!
    Samwise: Let him go!
    [Chorus]: It's Mount Doom!
    Frodo: No! I will not let it go! Samwise: Let it go!
    Frodo: I will not let it go! Samwise: Let it go!
    Frodo: I will not let it go! Samwise: Let it go!
    Frodo: No no no no no no NO!
    Samwise: Oh Mr. Baggins, Mr Baggins, Mr Baggins let it go!
    Gollum: My Precious! No! There's a devil rising up in me, in me, in meeeeeeeeee!

    [Fight scene to the guitar solo]

    Aragorn: I bind all you tormented spirits to me!
    Fulfill your oath and then I'll let you go free.
    [Cut to Gondor]
    Gandalf: Sauron, baby! Can't do this to us, baby!
    We're gonna drive you out, we're gonna drive you right out of here.

    [More guitar solo, Gollum bites ring off Frodo's finger, trips and falls over the edge]

    Gollum [ecstatic]: Nothing really matters, my precious is with me! Nothing really matters... nothing really matters, to me...

    hobbits: Back to the Shire, we go...

    1. Re:rotten fruits of inspiration by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just...Wow!

    2. Re:rotten fruits of inspiration by Rei · · Score: 1

      Great job ;)

      --
      "Here's a fun fact: the moon has turned to blood!" -- Newscaster, "Jesus Christ Supercop"
  84. I was Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit by leono · · Score: 1

    When I was in high school I performed in a summer play of The Hobbit at a local park. I was Thorin Oakenshield, leader of the dwarves... it was a blast! It all took place outside, and we had sets built at various places in the park. Between scenes the audience would journey (walk) with us from place to place.

    My friends in the crew built a 12 foot tall dragon with a wooden skeleton and paper-mache exterior. In the last scene the dragon reared up and I got to stab it in the belly, releasing several gallons of gloppy green blood. Man, that was fun!

  85. it's got to be better than lord of the G-strings by keith73 · · Score: 1

    The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0323108/

    brought to you by the same creative team that brought you Playmate of the Apes and Spiderbabe.

    the main character, Dildo Saggins.

    --
    -- Does anybody know where the 'any' key is on the keyboard?
  86. There are two other versions of this... by aendeuryu · · Score: 1

    If you can believe that, there's actually two other versions of Bohemian Rhapsody vs. Lord of the Rings....

    Here and here.