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Google Moves Into Drink Market

Posted by Zonk on from the mmmm-google-juice dept.

atrader42 writes "Google has announced on its main page a mysterious new product called "Google Gulp". Featuring qualities such as "autodrink" and brain optimization, Google Gulp promises to be the drink of the future. Although one may be concerned about the fine print, which includes provisions such as "Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter," we should be able to trust them on this. What's next? Yahoo Yoohoo? MSN Munchies?"

5 of 199 comments (clear)

  1. A Proposal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Murder should be legal if it serves the greater good. Discuss.

  2. privacy policy by ack154 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Best. Privacy Policy. Ever.

    Google Gulp and Your Privacy

    From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex(TM), a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear.
  3. Get it on Ebay! by vjmurphy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Pick up a cap on Ebay!

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item =5181692476&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

    --
    Vincent J. Murphy
    Spandex Justice
  4. from the faq by IamLarryboy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Q When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?

    A Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.

  5. April Fools challenge by ashot · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The hard part today is figuring out which story is for real.. stay tuned

    --
    -ashot