Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Google Moves Into Drink Market

Posted by Zonk on from the mmmm-google-juice dept.

atrader42 writes "Google has announced on its main page a mysterious new product called "Google Gulp". Featuring qualities such as "autodrink" and brain optimization, Google Gulp promises to be the drink of the future. Although one may be concerned about the fine print, which includes provisions such as "Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter," we should be able to trust them on this. What's next? Yahoo Yoohoo? MSN Munchies?"

28 of 199 comments (clear)

  1. I'm probably reading too much into this, but... by Kittyflipping · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It looks like they might have used this to comment on some of the issues brought up in yesterdays article about prefetching...

    4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink(TM)?
    No problem - simply turn off Auto-Drink(TM) on your Google Gulp preferences page.

    5. Well, shouldn't Auto-Drink(TM) be default-off?
    You mean we should cripple a perfectly useful feature just because of a little bad PR?

    1. Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... by saskboy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Google is also supporting DRM Drink Rights Management with this new product. If you don't first swallow their brand name Blue Pill, then the gDrink renders your digestive system inoperable until you take it.

      --
      Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
    2. Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... by jonasj · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not only that, they use the same FAQ to poke fun at the way they marketed Gmail :-)

      7. How can I get my hands on a Google Gulp?
      This "limited release" beta product is available to anyone who turns in a used Google Gulp bottle cap at any local retailer. If you don't have any Gulp caps, ask a friend to give you one.

      8. What if none of my friends have a Gulp cap to give me? Can't you just give Google Gulp to anyone who wants it?
      Well, we're thinking about it, but, um, you have to understand that there are many considerations which go into deciding how to distribute --

      9. I mean, isn't this whole invite-only thing kind of bogus?
      Dude, it's like you've never even heard of viral marketing.

      --
      You know, Microsoft's street address also says a lot about their mentality.
  2. A Proposal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Murder should be legal if it serves the greater good. Discuss.

    1. Re:A Proposal by Teja · · Score: 2, Insightful

      tis one of those days where I'd rather be at K5 than at /.

      --
      - Teja
  3. privacy policy by ack154 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Best. Privacy Policy. Ever.

    Google Gulp and Your Privacy

    From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex(TM), a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to his right wrist. No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear.
    1. Re:privacy policy by DA_MAN_DA_MYTH · · Score: 3, Funny

      This is when I spit my google gulp all over my screen...

      No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear.

      I'll see your Joe Schmoe's contact information and raise you Jane Doe's SSN.

      --
      "It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it."
  4. I don't care... by The+Spoony · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...how many "not another one!" comments this story recieves, it still beats work.

  5. I know!!! by Progman3K · · Score: 3, Funny

    As a great april fools joke, how about when the NEXT dumb joke-story gets posted, all the trolls who would normally whine "BORING" or "STOP ALREADY" or whatever simply DON'T post anything?

    THAT would be unexpected and hilarious!

    --
    I don't know the meaning of the word 'don't' - J
  6. Today.... by SeventyBang · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...is my birthday - do you think I'm going to be an April Fool with that story?

  7. Get it on Ebay! by vjmurphy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Pick up a cap on Ebay!

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item =5181692476&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

    --
    Vincent J. Murphy
    Spandex Justice
  8. It's already on eBay by Jonavin · · Score: 4, Interesting

    ... somebody has a bottle cap for sale:

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item =7146537131

  9. A joke of course... by GweeDo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The thing that I think is great about this is that Google is basically willing to poke fun at themself. There are obviously tons of people that freak out about Gmail's method of showing ads when you view your emails and such, and here we have Google cracking jokes at their own practices. Just classic.

    --
    Unstable Apps: Our Android Apps Don't Suck
    1. Re:A joke of course... by littlem · · Score: 2, Informative
      You do realize you agreed to it when you started using the service right?

      I'm sure any number of drive-by-installed spyware programs could say exactly the same thing.

      You do realize you can choose to NOT use the service in light of this right?

      What about the people I email, and whose email I'd receive in a gmail account? They haven't given their consent to have their communications tapped, and I hardly think it's practical to check the privacy policy of every email provider of everyone you might want to email.

    2. Re:A joke of course... by GweeDo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      "I'm sure any number of drive-by-installed spyware programs could say exactly the same thing."
      One problem here. Gmail didn't drive by and install itself on your machine! You went to their page and accepted their agreement and click many-a buttons to get your account. And if you don't like it, just don't check your email and look, nothing is read!

      "What about the people I email, and whose email I'd receive in a gmail account? They haven't given their consent to have their communications tapped, and I hardly think it's practical to check the privacy policy of every email provider of everyone you might want to email."
      This is just a plain bad example. If your phone is tapped and I call you, I don't know that. But I still talk away. Once that email leaves your client it is out of your control, that is just the nature of it. It is no different than your ISP scanning incoming emails for SPAM and virii. Or is that an intrusion of your privacy too?

      --
      Unstable Apps: Our Android Apps Don't Suck
  10. from the faq by IamLarryboy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Q When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?

    A Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.

  11. In Russia. by Seumas · · Score: 2, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, Fools April YOU!

  12. It's sad.... by TrumpetPower! · · Score: 2, Funny

    Today I almost find myself hoping for a Roland Piquepaille article, just to relieve the pace....

    Cheers,

    b&

    --
    All but God can prove this sentence true.
  13. Re:Bathroom by fupeg · · Score: 2, Funny

    For years I've thought that ads above urinals and on the inside of stalls would be pure genius. But ads that were context sensitive to the types of foods/drinks that you were expelling while viewing said ads ... now that is true genius.

  14. I've tried it... by porp · · Score: 2, Funny

    I was lucky enough to be a member of the Google Gulp Alpha Testing Team, and I can say that it made my penis larger by 10%. I was also irresistable to the female species (including small, female dogs and Homosexual Pelicans), and I had a bald friend who tried some and grew hair so thick that he looked like Josef Stalin. Things may have changed since going to Beta, however, so use at your own risk.

    porp

  15. Mmmm... Fat Clusters by k4_pacific · · Score: 2, Funny

    Not just MSN Munchies. Also, there's the all new Butter Toffee FAT Clusters. Available in 12, 16 and 32 bite sizes.

    Additionally, Campbell's ammounced today that they are releasing a Unicode version of their famous Alphabet Soup.

    --
    Unknown host pong.
  16. Nothing New by Quirk · · Score: 4, Funny

    The beer industry has been on to this forever. When I drink beer I'm smater, cooler and have the moves to hit on chicks. The beer makers must have a feedback mechanism built into the product as they know what the chicks I want look like and how cool and how much smater I want to be... just watch the commercials.

    --
    "Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
    Cohen
  17. April Fools challenge by ashot · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The hard part today is figuring out which story is for real.. stay tuned

    --
    -ashot
  18. For real. What, is it April 1st? by cfalcon · · Score: 2, Informative

    Slashdot does this every year. I mean, it's not like it's a surprise or anything.

    (Although they actually fooled me a few times quite some time ago, but we won't go into that)

  19. Oh, this isn't a hoax. by Council · · Score: 2, Funny

    This clearly isn't an April Fools joke because I got one in the mail yesterday.

    On a completely unrelated note, wouldn't you agree that it's better to take someting and run with it rather than just shout "I got the joke!"

    --
    xkcd.com - a webcomic of mathematics, love, and language.
  20. Gmail's first birthday! by rm999 · · Score: 2, Informative

    Anyone realize today is gmail's first birthday? It was on April 1st, 2004 that the concept was put forward and tricked so many people into thinking it was a joke. Maybe this Google Gulp thing is for real too :)

  21. Re:A Slashdot/Google Tradition by pixel.jonah · · Score: 2, Informative

    I've got more space and rich-text editing in my gmail account - unless they're going to take the features out tomorrow - I's real.

  22. Re:NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. by geomon · · Score: 3, Insightful

    My first reaction to your post was to agree that I am getting sick of April Fool's jokes on information channels. But I try to visualize Slashdot as one, big room filled with geeks talking about stuff. Not all of the stuff is serious; hell, not all of it is relevant to tech.

    But this isn't google news or excite or yahoo. I think the expectation is that I will read some *truly* insightful stuff as I wade through all the GNAA and goats.cx crap.

    Provided this isn't how it looks 365, I'm not unhappy enough to quit reading and posting.

    If this really pisses you off, let me suggest that you grab your local newspaper and head down for a beer at your favorite watering hole. I'm sure that the combination of beer, newsprint, and conversation with the locals will mellow your mood a bit.

    --
    "Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"