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Tiger Woods Signs Deal To Be Apple Spokeperson

Posted by Zonk on from the take-the-tiger-by-the-tail dept.

varmittang writes "Tiger Woods has signed a long-term deal with Apple Computers as Mac OS X 'Tiger' spokesperson. He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market, and Apple just seemed like the right pick." From the article: "Tiger Woods and Apple Computer is the perfect marriage, with both of us striving to be the best. With OS X, Apple is the industry innovator in operating systems and our 'Tiger+Tiger' partnership help tell the world about the benefits of using Mac OS X...Others are now following OS X's taillights, and 'Tiger+Tiger' will make it even harder for them to ever catch up."

15 of 172 comments (clear)

  1. It's too bad by Kittyflipping · · Score: 5, Funny

    the deal with Tony the Tiger didn't pan out.

    1. Re:It's too bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      that would have been grrrrreeeaaattt!

    2. Re:It's too bad by Striikerr · · Score: 5, Funny

      In an interesting twist, Microsoft has just inked a deal with Count Chocula to be their spokesman er spokesghoul.
      Count Chocula felt that it was a perfect fit as Microsoft likes to suck the life from its competitors and money from the pockets of the masses much like the Count sucks the blood from the living.
      "It's a great match", the Count was heard to remark while feasting upon yet another young victim, "Microsoft and I both wind up with mindless zombies, willing to do the bidding of their master". The use of the word zombie in relation to Microsoft apparently refers to the term used for computers on the internet which were compromised and under the control of someone else, typically running a Microsoft product.

    3. Re:It's too bad by Class+Act+Dynamo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Does it strike anybody as a little strange/suspicious that the 52-year-old Count Chocula spends his time almost exclusively with preteen adolescents, enticing them with chocolate? I, for one, am worried.

      --
      My other computer is a Jacquard loom.
  2. Does this mean? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    We will see a port of Tiger Woods PGA Tour?

  3. well, at least i had to think about this one by ack154 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    All of the others were "given" jokes. If OS X Tiger wasn't coming out VERY soon, I would have dismissed this in an instant... instead of 35 seconds. Very clever.

  4. Together We Can Get Through This by orson_of_fort_worth · · Score: 5, Funny

    Keep telling each other that "April 2nd will be here soon."

  5. Slashdot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    News for Nerds..Stuff that's...not...real...

  6. Nothing but the best by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 5, Funny
    He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market, and Apple just seemed like the right pick.

    Yes, because we know that Buick makes the best cars in the world.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  7. doesn't it suck when... by xutopia · · Score: 4, Funny
    april fools jokes are written with more professionalism than real stories?

    I can't wait till we go back to dupes and typos again.

    I hate april 1st. Worst day of the year.

  8. By Siddhartha Finch by echocharlie · · Score: 4, Informative

    It's definitely another April Fools post. Just look at the name of the author of the article, Siddhartha Finch. For those that don't know, perhaps the most famous April Fools article appeared in Sports Illustrated 20 years ago. In fact, there was an article about it today in the NY Times (free reg required; yada yada yada).

    --
    AnimeNEXT anime convention
  9. In a moment... by Epsillon · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ...they'll post a real story and shock everyone. Seriously, /., Jokes on April fools' day are ONLY VALID UNTIL MIDDAY. Please get a frigging clue.

    Sorry, guys, but this is getting real old, real fast. Unless the whole joke is pissing your users off with fake stories so you can say "Ha! Pissed you off!"

    --
    Resistance is futile. Reactance buggers it up.
  10. Re:So is it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    not always, in fact it can yield a decreasing result. For instance, let's set tiger to X.

    in the case that X=2

    X+X=2+2=4
    X^2=2^2=4
    equal results.

    Now let's look at the case for decreasing results

    in the case that X=1

    X+X=1+1=2
    X^2=1^2=1

    or, in the case that X=.5

    X+X=.5+.5=1
    X^2=.5^2=.25

    now, we know that apple has a 3% market share. That means that tiger=0.03. So lets figure this out.

    tiger+tiger=0.03+0.03=0.06 or 6% market share
    tiger^2=0.03^2=0.0009 or 0.09% market share

    So, obviously a tiger^2 technique would be sorely mistaken, and a tiger+tiger technique would be far superior!

  11. Best? by drix · · Score: 3, Insightful

    He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market.

    Riiight, that must be what led him to endorse Buick. Not the 8-figure contract.

    --

    I think there is a world market for maybe five personal web logs.
  12. Re:Quick! Have a baby and name him LongHorn! by theMerovingian · · Score: 3, Funny


    Nah, MS will just open up an Austin office, to associate themselves with the University of Texas Longhorns (who are going to get absolutely creamed by Ohio State - mark my words. Ted Ginn Jr. is unstoppable, and Troy Smith hung more yards than anyone else on Michigan..).

    I went to the University of Oklahoma, you insensitive clod!

    (we hate Texas!)

    --
    "If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti