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Tiger Woods Signs Deal To Be Apple Spokeperson
varmittang writes "Tiger Woods has signed a long-term deal with Apple Computers as Mac OS X 'Tiger' spokesperson. He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market, and Apple just seemed like the right pick." From the article: "Tiger Woods and Apple Computer is the perfect marriage, with both of us striving to be the best. With OS X, Apple is the industry innovator in operating systems and our 'Tiger+Tiger' partnership help tell the world about the benefits of using Mac OS X...Others are now following OS X's taillights, and 'Tiger+Tiger' will make it even harder for them to ever catch up."
the deal with Tony the Tiger didn't pan out.
Now you're just not trying.
Too bad this news isn't real (or is it???). Apple's market share could double, to an astounding 6%!
Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
Well, since I work for the "Go on, be a Tiger" company already, and I used Macs at home, I suppose this means I'd better start golfing. That way, I can get the trifecta of Tiger advertising influence.
Do not touch -Willie
We will see a port of Tiger Woods PGA Tour?
All of the others were "given" jokes. If OS X Tiger wasn't coming out VERY soon, I would have dismissed this in an instant... instead of 35 seconds. Very clever.
Keep telling each other that "April 2nd will be here soon."
News for Nerds..Stuff that's...not...real...
The first one to have a baby named LongHorn will be endorsed by Microsoft and be paid millions! So if your wife (or *cough*) is pregnant and is due in several months, you might wanna reconsider naming your child robert, david, john, or something else generic like that.
Name him LongHorn!
HD Trailers
Maybe.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
Yes, because we know that Buick makes the best cars in the world.
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
I can't wait till we go back to dupes and typos again.
I hate april 1st. Worst day of the year.
the only thing that I'd like to see id Tiger T-off whacking a G5 300+ yds up the fairway. followed by a few iPods, a couple of Mac Minis, and definately some of the old iMacs... Then I'd like to see the Penguin come out, shake his hand and watch them frolic into the sunset, heading off to burn Bill Gates' house down...
It's definitely another April Fools post. Just look at the name of the author of the article, Siddhartha Finch. For those that don't know, perhaps the most famous April Fools article appeared in Sports Illustrated 20 years ago. In fact, there was an article about it today in the NY Times (free reg required; yada yada yada).
AnimeNEXT anime convention
...they'll post a real story and shock everyone. Seriously, /., Jokes on April fools' day are ONLY VALID UNTIL MIDDAY. Please get a frigging clue.
Sorry, guys, but this is getting real old, real fast. Unless the whole joke is pissing your users off with fake stories so you can say "Ha! Pissed you off!"
Resistance is futile. Reactance buggers it up.
after midday? Actually where I am it's April 2 already, so this is getting really annoying for me.
I have a solution but you're not going to like it. (Something I say far too forten to my boss)
"Tiger Woods and Apple Computer is the perfect marriage, with both of us striving to be the best."
Speaking as a Business Major, it always amazes me to what levels of mindless drivel we can achieve to market a product without even the remotest feeling of embarrassment.
not always, in fact it can yield a decreasing result. For instance, let's set tiger to X.
in the case that X=2
X+X=2+2=4
X^2=2^2=4
equal results.
Now let's look at the case for decreasing results
in the case that X=1
X+X=1+1=2
X^2=1^2=1
or, in the case that X=.5
X+X=.5+.5=1
X^2=.5^2=.25
now, we know that apple has a 3% market share. That means that tiger=0.03. So lets figure this out.
tiger+tiger=0.03+0.03=0.06 or 6% market share
tiger^2=0.03^2=0.0009 or 0.09% market share
So, obviously a tiger^2 technique would be sorely mistaken, and a tiger+tiger technique would be far superior!
He's apparently trying to align himself with the 'best brands' in each market.
Riiight, that must be what led him to endorse Buick. Not the 8-figure contract.
I think there is a world market for maybe five personal web logs.
Aha, but what if tiger = 2!
My other computer is a Jacquard loom.
Tiger + Tiger, burning bright,
like a Photo iPod in the night,
what graphic designer's hand or eye,
dare pixellate thy symmetry.
The Humblest Mollusk on the Net
In other words, business as usual for Slashdot.
Ah, but it's a slippery slope we'd be starting on, if we curtailed our April Fooling activities:
- We'd stop getting the day off for Thanksgiving and Christmas
- Halloween would be reduced to a mere 1-hour trick-or-treat window
- Chicken rights advocates would rail against the sweatshop conditions as Easter approaches (much to the consternation of Egg Councils everywhere)
- Next thing you know, we're ignoring SysAdmin Appreciation Day
Where would it end?I'm not good in groups. It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent. - Q
Claiming tortious interference with an existing business relationship, General Mills has filed suit to block the MS-Chocula deal.
"The Count has been an integral part of our GM team for 34 years. Any money sucking he will be doing will be into General Mills' coffers, not some two-bit meat packing company", apparently referring to the upcoming Longhorn release of Microsoft's flagship product. "We look forward to maintaining the productive relationship between the Count and worldwide youth for many years to come.", according to an unsigned press release from General Mills.
Microsoft spokespeople had no official comment on the suit. Well-connected individuals, speaking anonymously, claimed that a contingency plan, seeking to enlist the services of Count Dracula, has already been put into effect, claiming "Microsoft can make do with pretty much any kind of sucker." One snag in the plan has been the inability of the Count's legal and marketing representatives to make contact with their client, as his last known address has been the subject of considerable debate.
{boy,oh, boy, way too much free time today...}