Slashdot Mirror
Apollo Bacteria Destroying the Moon
Rob Carr writes "According to the online version of the journal Nature, the moon is being rapidly destroyed by bacteria left behind during the Apollo missions. According to the article: 'There really is less Moon up there than there used to be. If the process continues, he adds, the Moon could eventually crumble away to nothing. Researchers are not yet certain what is causing the erosion. Kawalkowizc suggests that bacteria left behind by the Apollo Moon landings of the 1960s and 1970s may be responsible.' Satellite images show cracks in the moon - the image in the article shows the amazing amount of devastation. The Moon is slowly outgassing and will be destroyed in our lifetime. Speculation is that the ultraviolet radiation mutated the bacteria into it's present ravenous and destructive form. The article does not deal with several important topics. Will a ring system form around Earth? Will this bacteria destroy satellites and quarantine humanity to Earth? Can this bacteria survive entry into Earth's atmosphere, dooming our planet as well?"
"Wasn't it full-moon just a minute ago?!!"
"Yeah why?"
If you mod this up, your slashdot background will turn into a beautiful sunset!
Is there such a thing as April 1 *overkill* on Slashdot?
...frown.
Enough.
Please stop. This isn't funny anymore.
Thirty-seven IT employees from various US tech companies threw themselves off bridges today. Preliminary police reports indicate all users visited /. on April 1 immediately before taking their lives. More to follow...
Please stop. You're hurting us now.
Anaerobic bacteria? What'll they think of next!
Hah hah! April Fool's.
*cough*. Wait! *wheeze* Oh shit! *Keels over.*
concrete5: a cms made for marketing, but strong enough for geeks.
but I realized, why not? Would anybody waste mod-points today for making a completely useless comment?
Make your computer faster: rm -rf
If you don't like the stories/reptition/attempts at humor, then leave. Go somewhere else for a day. Don't say it's useless to be here. If it's useless, then GO AWAY.
I'm sorry, but having a day where everything is fake can be fun. Just be glad that it's limited to one day a year.
Please?
I blame the man in the moon!
This would be almost believable, if we had actually landed there in the first place. :)
finally, a non-shitty april-fools joke to make the front page!
These are SERIOUSLY not funny at all, and there's way too many of them. If you actually REPORTED something, it would be BURIED in FIVE MINUTES by the AFJs. Slow it down a bit, huh?
I'm going to shoot myself now.
Satellite images show cracks in the moon
;)
Yeah, but it doesn't take a satellite to find the cracks in this story!
Or, in the alternative: Everyone involved with this story is high on crack!
Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week. No, you're really too kind. No, you shouldn't...well, okay, it's room 909, knock three times so I know it's you.
...the moon is made of cheese, after all.
Is that bacteria, or just cheese culture?
"Along time ago, people said that the moon was made of green cheese.
"Now we know that it's really just a big rock.
"That's what happens when you leave cheese out overnight."
Imagine all of the fools who will read this and will later be passing on this nonesense and the rumors. Well, not really different from the rest of the 'information' people believe in.
You can't handle the truth.
Having my doctorial in astronomy, I know this is NOT an April fools joke. I can assure you that this is true.
Almost got me with this story. Had me right until the ring reference.
Magic bacteria that aren't bound by conservation of mass.
Neat.
Am I the only one that thinks that the point of April Fools is to try to catch someone off guard? By the time you post 37 bullshit stories all you are doing is being annoying. This new thing with posting think geek stuff over and over is particularly annoying.
On the other hand, I've been here long enough to realize that I'm not going to influence the editors.
-Peter
Yawn.
April fools articles appearing twice a minute... if you ever wanted to get a 'first post', now's the time! Just keep reloading slashdot
the submitters and mods of slashdot really need to get laid, and understand that 1 time is funny, 2 might be amusing but 1e+10 is just painful.
We don't have to worry about Earth since the bacteria came from here in the first place. Our planet has built up enough antibodies and resistances in the cores and mantle to fight off any such infection.
I for one, welcome our new cracked-moon overlord
For the love of everything that is holy, please stop. Now. I know girls who can come up with funnier stuff than this.
Are Ignignokt and Err really responsible? Has anyone questioned them? Have they threatened to attack us (again)?
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
Dosent April 1st end at Noon?
The More Knowledge you have the Luckier you Get- J.R. Ewing
Anyone else get the Thundarr the Barbarian image of the cracked moon? Although that was caused by a runaway planet as opposed to runaway bacteria...
If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
there's already more the a page of it.
If you mod me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine....
If we get lucky, there would be no more tides, and the whole monthly lunar cycle would go away... maybe this would cure PMS ....??
Yeah, we Americans accomplish something that no other nation can, and so of course all the commies in the Liberal Establishment works to tear it down with their scare stories about an "eroding moon". Typical.
... welcome our new Bacteria overlords. (just for kicks)
The Moon is dying.
When Wallace and Gromit had their Grand Day Out they inadvertently took a few stowaway mice with them (it was Wallace's basement, after all). Every since 1991, the mice have been consuming the cheese at an exponentially growing rate.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Because it's april fools day that means I can't get my news? Notice how unpopular these bogus stories are. 30-50 replies on each?
I think I have it figured out. Today, Slashdot is out-trolling the trolls! Not even an elite Swiss army of super mountain trolls with +4 Bonnets of Fortitude could swallow the mightly load of trite "jokes" that this site is spewing out of the wretched head of its empty shell of a carcass. I mean, by Great Blackbeard's Ghost, in the time it takes to type this message there's going to be another ballast of well edited idiociy headed our way. Maybe tomorrow will be A Serious Day(tm) and the true geeks will be able to delicately discuss all the issues, the trolls having been tired of posting "In Soviet rist Post, Korean Comdex Cancels Old You!" 612 times during the past 12 hours.
Or, we'll all be gone in disgust, only to return Monday.
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.
Update For for the flood of far-fetched stories. Not going well. Appreciate all the hate mail. Really encourages improvement.
Somebody get that guy an ambulance!
Kawalkowizc -- I think this is deliberate for an April Fool's Day joke. "Kawal" in Polish means "joke."
I thought that Chairface and Omnipotus had already done a pretty good number on the moon. There goes the neighborhood.
i want a ring around earth, dont you think it would look cool? well compared to a boring moon anyway. hey i wonder where the US flags would end up lol.
I wonder if this is the same plague that is eroding the quality of slashdot posts...
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." - Thomas Sowell
Some hours ago I submited a story to slashdot saying something like this :
:)
-------
Title : Slashdot put a stop to April jokes!
"This is getting out of control" Jeff Bates, says in an interview. He goes on "The people have spoken, and from this day on, there will be no more April jokes on SlashDot. We always gives full control to all our readers anyway". Timothy Lord goes on "I am receiving too much emails about this! Even my spamd can't handle it! But thanks to Jeff, he saved the day. And posting too much story a prone to making some errors anyway."
-------
I don't know why, but they refuse it. I guess they only like those April jokes on readers. So I conclude that they dont have a good sence of humor. I think it was a nice try. What do you think? (Yeah yeah, I know, its their website and they can do what they want with it, and I agree totally with that "rule". So another question would be, is this story funny?)
No sig for now.
Is this another government conspiracy?
Sheesh dude, where do I even start on this commentary? This sounds like a freakin' scary article (like "destruction-of-all-human-life-on-earth" kind of scary) and the poster apparently thinks it's a cool teaser for a new Sci-Fi Network drama series.
"Will a ring system form around Earth?"
Dude, who cares? We'd all be dead anyway. Without the moon's gravitational pull on the earth, our ocean's stop having tide cycles and stagnate, destroying our weather system and we wind up either frozen like anthro-Otterpops in a perpetual ice age, or crisped in the searing oven of our own planet. WHOOP-DEE-DOO! The scorched and lifeless rock that once was Earth now has a stupid ring, just like that Saturn.
"Will this bacteria destroy satellites and quarantine humanity to Earth?"
Look, the satellites came from where? Our planet. Yes, Earth. And if such a bacteria actually exists, where did it come from? Yes, Earth. So look on the bright side -- unless you see satellites here on earth spontaneously dissolving when engineers sneeze on them, we'll have clear, 100%-pure digital XM radio beaming onto our planet while we roast alive from not having a moon.
"Can this bacteria survive entry into Earth's atmosphere, dooming our planet as well?!"
*whimper* It's... from... Earth...
-----
"Cogito Eggo Sum: I think, therefore, waffle."
FIRE SALE!!!! Quick, buy 100 acres of the moon before it's too late! Only $19.95. Mail cash to:
Dick and Bush
P.O. Box 666
Pueblo Colorado, CO 90210
... on the cockroach. OK, ok, maybe it was fake, but I bet it had read bacteria in it.
I've found that my posts don't format quite right w/o a sig.
Happy fools day!
We need to start building our deathstar and destroy the moon with a superlaser before we are wiped out by this terrible moon bacteria!
Which OS should run the deathstar? With the current gas prices in the US, we should consider building it as a hybrid right from first design.
in order to spear head this bacteria we should narrow down all knowns. -it will spread through africa killing many millions -fat people will want it added to ranch sauce -smoking pot while protesting is the most proven method to stopping this catastrophe -its george bushs fault -hillary clinton tried to stop him by praying nondenominationally -kenny is probably on the moon
I realize april 1 + 9 months is an awful close to christmas!
Perhaps Virgin mary had been joking but nobody had a sense of humor back then?
can this moon bacteria cause blood in my pee? also they should call if the fire virus because thats how it feels
Just think, one of the astronauts had a cold at one point.
Before the moon will be destroyed from the bacteria, the virii will destroy it.
Now where will extragalactic species hide when they're observing us?
Will in Seattle
my history teacher explained this to me after her pot break. the native moon people were a perfect culture filled with little bunnies and free exchange of ideas. until one day the big bad astronaut came and raped the woman and pillaged there moon fields. anyway the moon woman were infected with this and did not get counciling. so the moon thing. is our the us fault. just ask iran
The April Fools jokes are all dead.
Maybe the Moon's expiration date was finally reached. All that cheese has got to go bad someday.
I am afraid that Nature has gotten it wrong. Sprodj is located in Syldavia, not Belgium.
Well, these guys must sure be happy.
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
See the announcement at TubeRat Aerospace. They have a video of mission control during the landing. And there's a new space prize for the first team who lands a probe at the same place and transmits back data from a crypto token on it.
The moon is made of cheese, and that's why the bacteria are eating it. Its half gone already. blue cheese = blue moon
All Alone:
Once upon a time they sent a rocket to the moon
With scientific instruments to test conditions there
But just before they closed the door, one scientist expelled a germ
That accidentally found its way aboard and stowed away
For three years it remained undetected on the moon
It was the only living creature there:
"I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Behold the mystery that is me"
Then one day the scientists recovered all their gear
Excited by the prospect of unearthly things inside
They found, to their astonishment, a living thing within
It seemed to bear good tidings from somewhere in outer space:
"You're not alone
You're not alone
Behold the mystery that is me"
Soon they figured out the heinous error they had made
And now the earthly germ had something else it seemed to say:
"We're all alone
We're all alone
Behold the mystery
Behold the mystery."
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
April FOOL!
...when you got mutated bacteria as a pet?
"I told you to fetch the stick not eat the neighbor! Bad mutated E. coli! In your cage!"
"It's not rocket science, Smithers! It's only brain surgery!" --Mr. Burns