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EU to Ban Macs
johnalex writes "Digit Online News is reporting that 'The European Union has revealed it is to ban the sale and use of Apple Macintosh computers by 2006 - citing the need for unification in a directive unveiled today.' Reasons for the ban include that 'Apple's lack of floppy disk drive is discriminatory to EU residents, and that the Apple logo doesn't hail from the apple-growing regions of Southern France.'"
In protest of the April Fools insanity, I am replying to all news items with the following... Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.
Anyone else want to /. /.?
I'm glad I'm not a subscriber.
Imagine paying for this...
As if anyone is still commenting anyway.
'Apple's lack of floppy disk drive is discriminatory to EU residents..." *scratches head* Boy, that's funny, considering most PC's from Dell, Gateway, HP, etc don't come with one, either.
Late, unfunny *and* anti-EU.
Can they get any worse?
(No, don't answer that.. please..)
I appreciate all the efforts you're doing to take all the slashdot readers to other sites! Cleanup day, maybe?
Yup.. gotta post all of those oh so funny funny April 1st stories before the day is over.
An IRC channel would have banned these admins by now.
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
Or is the EU trying to imitate a Republician Congress/Presidentcy?
Nothing for you to see here, please move along
this is not a sig
My friend billy g has been warning me of the dangers of these machines for years. Its about time someone finally did something about them.
Perhapse it's just because it's April 1st, but that sounds totally bogus. As far as floppy drives go, The lack of them would have been an issue five years ago. Most PC desktops and labtops no longer come with a floppy drive.
It's April 2nd, isn't it?
Nothing for you to see here, please move along.
Its about time something like this happened! :P
Come on, fake stories every two minutes? Isn't that a bit overkill?
5:57
5:55
5:53
5:51
5:47
5:44, etc, etc...with 5 of the 7 by taco...can you say dead horse?
The EU is where all the gay people live! And we all know which computers THEY prefer!
Vonal Declosion
But right now, even though it's not covered in the news, the EU and Canada have slapped export tariffs on the US over our agricultural subsidies - in real life - so maybe they got confused and thought we were exporting real Apples - and bio-engineered ones at that.
...
After all, some of the Gx series glow in the dark
Will in Seattle
Stop it.
Dealing with lawyers would be a lot less tedious if they all looked like Casey Novak.
I was about to rant and rave the usual rant and rave until I realized what day this is. Doh!
Sig? What Sig?
I see so many people complaining about the April Fools stories being posted as they comment about how this isn't funny anymore, is stupid, etc. The point is, I think, Slashdot is collecting stories from around the Net and posting them...like they always do. It just so happens many Websites enjoy posting ludicrous stories today for obvious reasons. Slashdot is just here to collect them. Nothing is different than a typical day mainly. It's a theme, get it? So, complain about it if you will but you don't deserve anything and you can always read things elsewhere. I for one enjoy all the crazy stories they have gathered around the Net. It's like getting a free edition of the Onion between issues. Lighten up, it's fun. And RTFA at least today because many of them are rather amusing and entertaining. No one's trying to trick you...think of this as one big day of hanging around bizzaro world.
"If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer
Get a job and buy one like the rest of us.
Sheesh. Freakin' pyramid scammers. You're worse than the Jehovah's Witnesses.
So many brain, so little creativity.
From the Wikipedia "April Fool's Day" entry:
/. editors!..for not having enough sense to stop the 4/1 torture at the appointed hour.
Traditionally, pranks are supposed to end by noon. Those done afterwards are supposed to bring bad luck to the perpetrator.
Curse the
-- Given enough time and money, Microsoft will eventualy invent UNIX.
OS X N...
whats with all tha mac basing lately(yes i know its the 1st)
NO
This must be one of the worst April Fools jokes I've heard in ages...
Wait. Do you work for your money or does your wife?
Better get it in gear, i bet you make more than her too, but she gets to tell you how you spend your hard earned money! Ta hell with that!
But clearly years of not being able to control your own life has made you witless and in need of a mac mini. Don't you have a PC already?
Atleast make them good April fools, this is worse than spam. I say we ban all the lower IDs.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
Seems your wife isn't the only one unconvinced. Take your spam elsewhere, heathen!
Example: Macs are kinda expensive for cash strapped college students who shouldn't take on extra debt. Maybe a cheap x86 machine would be a better choice.
Pour on the mod points.
Microsoft Corp. and DG Internal Market Announce Definitive Merger Agreement
Combined Entity to Operate Under the Name of Microsoft Marché Corp. With Dual Headquarters in Redmond and Dublin
You guys are idiots.
I, for one, welcome our new Antichrist overlord.
This is the fucking end.
I'm joining GNAA whether they want me or not.
Hot black dong in my ass is all I will post to Slashcock from now on.
Dear ...
[x] Clueless Newbie
[ ] Lamer
[ ] AOLer
[ ] "Me too"-er
[ ] Pervert
[ ] Geek
[x] Spammer
[ ] Nerd
[ ] Elvis
[ ] Fed
[ ] Freak
[ ] Scientologist
[x] Scammer
[x] Dumbass
[ ] Pre-teen
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ ] You posted MODs in pieces LESS than 5000 lines
[ ] You posted something asking for warez sites
[ ] You quoted an ENTIRE post in your reply
[ ] You continued a long, stupid thread
[ ] You failed to use the search feature and/or browse through different sections of this forum
[ ] You started an off-topic thread
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You haven't learned the difference between E-mail and newsgroups
[ ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
[ ] You posted pretending to be someone famous (See "troll" above)
[ ] You replied to the above message type believing it was actually someone famous
[ ] You said "me too" to something
[x] You suck
[ ] Your sig/alias/server sucks
[ ] You posted a lame-sex ad
[x] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme and claimed it was legal
[ ] I think you might be a fed
[ ] You posted in ElItE CaPiTaLs because you think that makes you cool
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed anyway
To Repent, You Must:
[x] Stop masturbating for a week
[ ] Give up your AOL account
[x] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[ ] Tell your Mommy you've been a bad boy
[x] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor
[ ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Read the FAQ
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] Blow me
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Never post again
[ ] Age 10 more years before you post again
[ ] I pity your dog
[ ] Go to hell
[ ] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc...
[ ] Take your s**t somewhere else
[ ] Get f**ked, you pathetic loser
[ ] Learn to post or f**k off
[x] All of the above
And the pope is dying .... no really!
Each story has been funnier than the last! It gets funnier and funnier every time the Slashdort editors post! More ROFLs please! LOL! WTF?
Today, April 1, I came to realize why the courts decided that "bloggers" don't deserve the same protection under the law as real news organizations. I also came to realize why I appreciate The Onion and The Daily Show so much.
IF you are in any way related to an attorney, you obviously do not deserve anything free. Thank you for your time.
It is amazing how much people are bitching about how the April Fools joke entries are a waste of time/space/money/etc. But what is funny/ironic is that these people are wasting even more time to post and bitch about it.
Just get over it already.
Anonymous Cowards generally receive no replies because you're a coward and I'm a bitch
Enough already. It would be ok if these phony stories were remotely cute or kinda funny... but this is just stupidity.
the Apple logo doesn't hail from the apple-growing regions of Southern France.'" And this is bad how?
Furthermore, it defeats the whole fucking point of April Fools: fooling people.
If Slashdot snuck in one or two jokes among the usual postings, people might be fooled. Instead, people simply know that pretty much everything on Slashdot is worthless today, and ignore it. No one gets fooled.
I won't be checking Slashdot on April 1st, 2006.
No way, no how.
What a ginormous waste of time and energy.
And the sad part is... you can't even post genuine news on this day, because everyone will just assume it's bullshit.
I mean... one or two fake stories is fine, but every fucking one of them?
Get a grip, admins... geez!
-- This sig for rent.
these just go on and on and on....
There was an unknown error in the submission.
Fuck You and your Mac Mini... Bitch!
I remember when I actually used to laugh at the contributions because they seemed plausible. This is just not funny, not interesting. It's a piece of turd.
.. or is there some joke I'm just not getting? Ok, it's april 1st.. ha ha .. ha. *shrugs*
Has there been any real news today?
Do you really think that wanting free shit is a legitimate reason to spam people?
i forget
Certainly that would've been funnier.
Guys, this is getting old. REAL old. I can appreciate a good April fools joke, especially the ones that almost sound believable because they make you pause for a second to do a quick mental what-if scenario, but this story is just lame.
Depending where you are posting from, every hour is before noon somewhere in the world. Those of you so stuck in your North American ways need to take a pill and learn to realize the sun doesn't rise and set in your a$$hole. If you're in Cali, or anywhere on the west coast, maybe even Hawaii, it may set in your a$$, but it rises, in Asia and it's now 11:30 am on April 2nd. Get over it, it's a joke and if you can't take a joke at any time of day, you have some serious problems.
'Apple's lack of floppy disk drive is discriminatory to EU residents'
American !
He lives in a free non-backwards democracy !!
(what - no +1 ironic score ?)
Check out my PHP Url Validator
The real problem is that the slashdot editors have absolutely no sense or ability to coordinate articles. So what happens on a day like to today is that every slashdot editor and his mother, and possibly his aunt Maggy in the trailer park in NC as well, thinks he'll post a couple of April 1st joke articles for a lark.
The result is the utter chaos and even a good round of the usual duping that make slashdot so unique.
It is a lot like a PBS station during Pledge Week. All of your regular programs are cancelled or moved around, there is maybe one program worth watching among the nonstop Daniel O'Donnell concerts, and that one program is chopped all to heck with those stupid people shilling for donations who don't know how to act in front of a camera.
an April 1 post that isn't some kind of spoof or joke.
“Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
it was true.... 'sigh'
While this may be a joke, there has been word of the EU insisting that things must be made in the area they originally came from, because doing otherwise would be cheating the inventors -- eg, the entire world's supply of cheddar cheese is supposed to be made in the small town of cheddar...
Is there any government not staffed entirely by beurocratic fucktards?
I mod down anyone who says "I will be modded down for this", regardless of the rest of their comment
No, I don't actually. I also don't think that it being April 1st is a legitimate reason for the
Real life is even more bizarre. The Beatles sued Apple for using the name Apple.
I give you your fool!
the Apple logo doesn't hail from the apple-growing regions of Southern France
That is the stupidest reason if there ever was one. What are they going to use? No to Windows because the logo doesn't hail from the windowed houses of EU and not Linux becuase Torvalds moved out to USA. Guess people will just have to dump out their computers.
a spammer by any other name, is still a spammer....spammer.
/. if it's a bother...no, you choose to add to the spam/scam scene...goto hell I hope you never see an ipod..
why don't you just unsubscribe and/or not read
Did you expect anything except exactly this?
This happens every year.
You should check with that in mind.
Hell, pretend they take off one day a year, and just don't check it.
Whatever, I just came to the site to see if there were any more jokes since I left work... and there were. Laugh out loud funny? No. But worth a read, and a grin.
I could imagine Macs bein banned in Europe, Underground Mac Society lol.
Boy, I wish there was a "-1, dumber than a turd on a stick" moderation option. Because you just earned it, boy. The only thing here harming Apple's image is employees like yourself advertising, to the whole world, Apple's policy of hiring people with diminished cognitive skills.
Unless, of course...
Tubal-Cain smokes the white owl.
I remember back when April fools day here on Slashdot was fun, with ONE carefully crafted post which would always get me. Now I just feel like I'm being saturated with stupid, obvious, and not even funny posts. Next year they should make an easter egg challenge with a GOOD clever post that people have to work at to find.
Nobody forced you to read /. today. There's no reasons why you not liking the jokes entitles you to post spam or crap like that, and no, it didn't make any point. It's just blatant "someone pay for my iMac" spam. Spamming and trolling for free stuff you can afford in the first place... If anyone was massively added to freaks lists, it's you.
Slashdot is not a news site. It says "news for nerds" but it is not a news site. It is a blog. Those of you who honestly believe slashdot to be a serious news site need to read real news, and probably get a life.
Thus it follows that those of you who are bothered by the large amount of april fools jokes posted today need to pull the stick out of your ass, and read real news, and read slashdot as what it is, a technology blog, really no different than sites like engadget.
Somehow I got mod points on april fool's day. And only five.
Dear
[x] Anonymous Coward
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[x] You used a stupid standard form.
To Repent, You Must:
[x] Post as yourself
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[x] There are too many ACs lately
untill I read the French bit
Good job Slashdot you successfully have taken all the fun out of april fools day with your overkill of articles. nobody cares or is amused anymore. Move along
Yeah, I know what you mean. Say, are you the Lord Haha who used to go to high school with my mom?!
Christ almighty!
My heart acutaly stopped for a second. Damn these April jokes. I always get fooled >:(
When in danger, whewn in doubt! Run in circles, scream and shout!
Yeah, this really isn't funny at all. The trick is to make it shockingly believable at first - whereas this is just outrageous and stupid. Thrill me next year.
The next comment I write will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
this is getting really bad. Come on guys it's such a lame joke.
Disposable. Sticky. Macintosh PostIt notes!
...jokes you have to do them prior to 12 (Midday) otherwise it is bad luck.
This one has to be the worst 1st april
joke..
IT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY.
the bit about Southern France made it believeable for me. Well, that and the fact that I read it on the 2nd. And government in general seems like it might be just stupid enough to pass something like this...
Are you fucking serious. Screw whoever modded the parent as a flame. You are a sick god-damned person. The slasdot article was flamebait. Gently mentioning the hipocrasy of that is not. And the elbow towards france was just, for the french as a nation are indeed pissy. And if it was a frenchman who modded that down then I will add that at least one of them is petty. Regardless of which sub-human did it this proud, loud, hard-working, fat, lazy, clever, rightous, boastfull, stupid, steadfast, war-like, materialistic American invites you to lighten up or fuck off.
Sometimes at night I imagine the darkness is filled with horrible things with too many teeth, like Julia Roberts.
(semi-intentionally flamish)
Thousands of jobs lost? As long as they're not AMERICAN jobs, why should the US government give a shit?
Seriously. Above and beyond anything else, senators and congressman care about getting reelected. They'll say or do whatever it takes to keep their jobs, and if that means fucking over rednecks in another country so their rednecks vote for them, they'll do it.
Personally, I have a solid idea as to how the rest of the world "feels" and couldn't give a shit- if they're really that bent, they should do something about it, rather than sit around and whine about how much the US sucks. Peer pressure works, but for some reason other countries are afraid to apply it to us.