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Water Spectacular in Episode III?
An anonymous reader writes "From StarWars.com: 'With the prequel trilogy lacking in elaborate musical numbers, Aaron McBride and the rest of the Art Department were given the task to create visuals for a new spectacular in Episode III.' Lucas didn't piss off enough people with Jar-Jar?" The link is to an image of a Mon Calamari(?) woman in some sort of performance outfit. A water spectacular ala Esther Williams, perhaps?
Somebody cue Ackbar.
It's a trap!
and nothing says that like a musical number. Get those legs up padiwans!
-Teiresias
It's like Lucas, Michael Jackson, and the guys who did the Matrix Reloaded rave got together and brainstormed. If that's even physically possible.
It's a boob!
Give a man fire, and you warm him for the night. Set a man on fire, and you warm him for the rest of his life.
That's not a moon!
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
That is the most blatant example of a prior art rip-off I have even seen...
Ronald said nothing. He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse, and rode madly off in all directions.
Why would a humanoid squid have breasts?
I want a new world. I think this one is broken.
The "previous image" shows a vehicle with wheels.
Lars T.
To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck
Fine. Save your money, I already know it's going to suck.
. . .tits on a squid.
KFG
Crazy he is not! Lost your mind you have!
Forget the water spectacular. This phallic image is sure to have feminists commenting the male dominated society that the Rebels promote.
You like your aliens with penises?
Actually, I think that *is* Carrie Fisher at age 50. Eeesh.
fsh
The dancer shown is a Mon Calamari. They were very important in Return of the Jedi. The giant pod looking ships in the Rebel fleet were Mon Calamari Star Cruisers, and the attack was led by Admiral Ackbar, a Mon Calamari. You can see him in Return of the Jedi. Admiral Ackbar also made a cameo in the X-Wing game. He's the guy who orders "Launch the X-Wing fighters!" (I loved the game, what can I say).
But the most important question is...
Cocktail, Marinara, or Garlic sauce?
IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!
As Lucas has aged his sexual tastes have drifted to the rarefied realms of his wealth.
Probably, because it makes a better movie.
Bingo!
Don't you feel silly for typing all that?
My other first post is car post.
Does she hand out lightsabres?
It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world.
...i'll sit down and be quiet now
-----
no capes!
George murdered my childhood with Episode I.
Then he dug up the corpse and slapped it around a bit for Episode II.
Now it looks like he's preparing to dig it up once more to further defile its memory by fucking it right in the mouth with a god damned water sequence in Episode III.
Somebody should have taken his camera away after the first Ewok adventure was shot.
I mean, anybody could have made that mistake once... But *twice*?
There is no excuse.
- Rory [Microsoft Employee] | Free dirt: neopoleon.com
NOBODY LOOK! It's a trap!
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
Not to mention fish dont fly around the universe at speed of light in jugenaught sized spaceships like we do.... oh wait a minute.
Sure Episode 1 sucked. A lot. But Wpisode 2. C'mon, the romance scenes were pure comedic genius. I don't know how the actors could keep straight faces through them. I can remember the theater after the scene where Natalie Portman's chest was heaving up and down. One person started clapping and then the whole audience broke into applause and laughter. I can only hope that Episode 3 will have a moment like that one.
Actually, it would be "mon calmar."
"Calamari" is Italian.
Proof yet again that Lucas is a pretentious know-nothing hack. "Mon Calamari," being a bastardization of both French and Italian isn't, even forgiving that, gramatically correct as it uses a singular possessive with a plural noun. Lucas, you ignorant slut...
What absolutely kills me about the Star Wars prequels is that despite all the bitching and moaning........Everyone I know who actually cares enough one way or the other to bitch about the movies has [still] seen both multiple times.
You mean Star Wars is the Microsoft Windows of Sci Fi?
Table-ized A.I.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
Damn enter key... let's try that again.
My squid,
Whom I did,
Not so groovy
Is your bad movie.
Sticky-floored prison,
My bile's risen.
Life's two hours less
In this cinematic mess.
Swim off the set
If the director will let.
Come to Sloppy
And you'll be happy.
A new role, you'd
Play in the nude,
Though budget's not high
You'll moan and sigh.
Your DVD will be
Released to all the
Perverts who enjoy
Tentacle porn toys.
Be remembered as a squid
In porn for a few quid.
That Innsmouth look
Is a good niche for a spook.
It will be so much better
Than Lucas' memory-shredder.
You'll be glad you did,
My squid.
As copyright owner of this comment, I authorize everyone to defeat any technological measure which limits access to it.
And not just humanoids! Uh..I mean...
> Terrible.
> Piscene face, mammalian, uhhhh... mammaries.
"Oh, why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid?! The kind with the fish part on top and the lady part on bottom!"
Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
That's my wife you insensitive clod!
Slashdot has really gone downhill when Admiral Ackbar in a swimsuit makes the front page before this does... Bring on the grits!
OK...I will take a shot.
For that matter, why are they humanoid.
Sexual attraction to the characters in the movie may increase the likelyhood they will be liked. Although Alf may prove this to be untrue.
What if there were just giant planets inhabitted by slime-mold, or intelligent creatures that just didn't give a damn, and so they never developed useful society?
While it may possible that all *giant* planets have nothing other than slime-mold it does not eliminate all other forms of intelligent life.
It will be giant amoebas in polymer bags that prevent them from splashing apart in the low atmosphere of the earth.
You know what I think I am going to stop here. It has just occured to me that you are calling Hollwood's portrayal of outer space life silly while expecting us to accept your vision of intelligent slime-mold beatnick overlords who, despite their intelligence, want to do nothing but sit around all day and "just didn't give a damn."
Pass it to the left man.
... and furthermore
"Oy! Get out of my dreams and into my claws already!"
Faux News
Skywalker Ranch, California
The Star Wars fan community was stunned today by George Lucas' admission that the prequel trilogy is, in fact, an elaborate troll.
"It was a good troll, and I managed to keep it going a lot longer than I thought," said Lucas. "Between Jar-Jar and Jake Lloyd, no-one at LucasFilm thought I could pull it off at all. They thought it was too obvious." Lucas, however, had confidence. "I knew I could do anything I wanted so long as I threw enough lightsaber fights and space battles in there, he explained. "Rick Berman actually bet me that the theaters would be a ghost town when Episode II came out," Lucas continued. "I'm proud to say I won that bet, even after making the love scenes with Hayden and Natalie as awkward and interminable as possible. I was hoping to keep the gag going until after Revenge of the Sith premiered," he added, "but with the ending leaked on all the fan sites, that's just not possible."
The leaked video, which has appeared on several websites, depicts the character Jar-Jar Binks bent over in an obscene posture, accompanied by text reading "YHBT. YHL. HAND. |uc4s > j00." It is believed to be an homage to the infamous web site goatse.cx, which is frequently used by trolls to shock unsuspecting viewers. The text is shorthand for "You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day. Lucas is greater than you," a common ending to a sucessful troll. There is also a rumored ballet number featuring the Star Wars kid.
Fan reaction to the news has been mixed. "I knew it," said Arthur Dent of London, England. "Ever since all those bloody ewoks in Return of the Jedi, I knew something wasn't quite right." Other fans are still clinging to denial: from his place in line at the Senator Theater, Scott Kennedy, 31, was quoted as saying "No! That's not true! That's impossible!" The announcement has also forced fans of other science fiction franchises to view their favorite shows with a more skeptical eye. "I'm wondering what [Rick] Berman's up to," said fan 3.14159265 of 9. "There's rumors that the next movie is called Star Trek: Wesley Crusher's Day Off."
And does Lucas have any last words for his fans?
"pWn3d."
Faux News: we make it up, you fall for it.
However, has it ever been stated that Calamari are not mammals ?
Whoever told you that is a total liar. Like other mammals Calamari can either have breasts or be totally flat.
Facts:
(1) Calamari are mammals
(2) Calamari nurse their young ALL the time
(3) The purposes of Calamari are to flip out and warn "It's a trap!"
Tweet, tweet.