Slashdot Mirror
U.S. Military's Hackers
definate writes "Wired is running a story on the Joint Functional Component Command for Network Warfare, or JFCCNW. A multimillion dollar military task force used to attack the electronic infrastructure of their opponents."
From the article:
"JFCCNW"??? That's a terrible acronym! That's the worst thing I've heard since PCMCIA!
How about something a bit more catchy, like the League of Enduring Electronic Technicians? Or perhaps the Paramilitary Worldwide Network of Electronic Defenders?
Let's help out our country...please post your suggestions for acronyms below.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
an army of one's and zero's
_+_+__+_+_+_+_+_+_+++
when i moo u moo - just like that
the article refers to the JFCCNW as being the "... most formibidable hacker posse. Ever."
... so maybe the editors need to take anothNO CARRIER
looks like www.jfccnw.mil is offline
vodka, straight up, thank you!
Dear Habib,
My name is Akmar and I have just inherited $3 million, but it is stuck in a US bank account....
hack a day
Don't tell me - they are going to remotely deploy WinXP Service Pack 2 on the enemy's network?
Masterful...
b3 4ll j00 c4N B3!
J01n t3h 4RmY! T1s 133t!
"No problem. I have the capacity to do infinite work so long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero."-Dilbert
Okay, guys, here's a quick quiz: of the following possible combatants, which one has the most to lose in the event of an enemy hacker penetrating its computer security?
a) al-Qaeda
Are you kidding? The Bush administration's attention to details like computer security is EXACTLY why we caught Bin Laden!
Oh, wait.
How about Worldwide Online Operations Team ?
Freedom's Special Computer Knights
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. -Martin Luther
Couldn't we just /. them into submission?
Homeland Agency for the eXecution and eXtermination of Our Rivals?
Thinkin' Lincoln - a web comic of presidential proportions
I got this whole Alice's Restaurant Flashback moment reading this. Sorry.
But back home in the 21st Century, am I the only one who sees this as a better-than-average recruiting effort on the part of the U.S. Army (at a time when their falling shy of their recruitment goals)? I'm guessing they are hoping scenes like this play out at recruitment stations across the fruited plain:
Wired Reader: "Um, I read how, like, the army is hiring and training all these 733t Uber-hax00rs to, like, simply own terrorist websites and shit...?"
Recruiting Officer: "Yup. Sign here."
WR: "So, like, do we get to wear baggy camo pants and high boots and put our hats on backward and shit...?"
RO: "Sure. Sign here."
WR: "Umm, so, does our brigade or garrison or whatever have, like, our own kewl insignia, like a fist holding lightning bolts or some rad shit like that...?"
RO: "Uh huh. Sign here."
WR: "What are we called, like, the '81st Cybernetic,' or the 'Electric Underground' or some cool shit like that...?"
RO: "Something like that. Sign here."
WR: "And I get to carry a gun?"
RO: "Oh, Yes. And we give you free bullets and coffee. Sign here."
WR: "Free Coffee?! D00d, I'm, like, so-o-o-o-o there! Where do I sign?"
RO (smiling): "Here, son. Sign right here."
How about Forcefully Undulating Computer Killers with Totally Awesome Reconnaisance Devices in Zimbabwe?
have been known for calling them Worldwide Technical Fighters...
WTF?.. WTF?...
- Your stupidity got you into this mess, why can't it get you out? -Will Rogers
The only thing the enemy would need to employ to completely overwhelm and undermine this army of nerds would be..... a female.
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
Federal Unary Computer Killers
With the following divisions:
Middle East
Internal Technology
Oversea's Fighting Force
and of course, where do they train....
Yahoo Operations University
you missed...
National Electronic Research and Defense Service