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Microsoft's New Mantra - It Just Works
bonch writes "Fortune has a story about Microsoft's new philosophy--'It just works.' Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background, the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously, and the new ad campaign Microsoft is running to get people excited about Windows. Mentions are also made of the competition from Linux, OS X Tiger, and Google."
If there was truth in advertising.
"It mostly kinda sorta works."
or
"Eventually, when Longhorn ships, it may actually work."
So yeah, don't buy anything else until then, cuz that wouldn't make sense!
Oops. I think someone had on Dvorak or something when typing "crashes".
the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously
Finally, a windows eq to ln -sf!
'It works, just' - any others? :D
wow! microsoft discovered hard links! And I bet they'll market it as amazing new technology!
waitaminnit... isn't this apple's mantra??? apple = microsoft??? *gasp* bill gates = steve jobs??? OMG! the sky is falling! the sky is falling!!!
and if you can figure out what the h*ll it's done, then you're ahead of the game! If you can undo it, then you'll be ...a god.
--LWM
Or maybe:
I Just Works.
Barely.
So far we have
Free as in costs money
Advantage as in same later
and open as in closed
We have a new entry
It just works as in windows.
Quite inkeeping with the rest of the publicity statments i belive
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
"It just works as designed." (you poor bastard)
First we hear that the Opera CEO is going to swim the ocean... and now that Microsoft will "just work." What's next?
It Just Sucks.
>ln /foo/bar/say_it_aint_so ~/say_it_aint_so
"the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously"
Is it just me.. or do all OSes do this? I have thousands of files, all in different places, all at the same time... right now.
-m
Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
*raises hand*
Gates: "Yes. You there with your hand up."
Me: "Mr. Ballmer? Mr. Gates? What about spyware and virii on the Longhorn platform?"
Bill: "As our slogan says, 'It just works!'"
Me: "Oh."
If it will 'just work' in the future, we would see some of the 'just working' in Windows XP.
.NET password in here. Yeah, it has something to do with that "Windows Messenger" that keeps poping up in then system tray. Now click on 'Change my name", and then change your name.
But noo....
But sometime you need to scroll down a list, no... the other list. Yeah, that one. Select 'properties'-- what? No, right click on the icon, and select 'properties'. And then... no wait it's not here. Click 'cancel'. Ok, now click 'cancel' again. Now, hit the 'x' in the upper right hand corner of the screen.
Now go to "start: settings: Control Panel", click on "Users Accounts", click on "change account", click on your username. What? No, I don't know why they have a
Sometimes it just works.
94% of Repubs and 21% of Dems voted to renew the Patriot Act
Because stealing from Apple just works.
From just reading the register a few minutes ago, the slogan, "70 Percent Fewer Reboots" sounded pretty good to me.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
From TFA: "Which means, for example, Longhorn will automatically clean up, or "defragment," your hard drive, if it is required. You won't even know it's happening."
So you mean Longhorn is going to make the incessant ticking and whirring of my hard drive less annoying? I seriously doubt it.
Well I am hoping all the win 9x/2k/xp software I use now will work on longhorn. Like will IE 7.0 be compatible with all the spyware I have for IE 6?
You have a 1D LCD? is it tall or wide? ;)
-David
Need Geek Rock? Try The Franchise!
No, it's "It's Just Works"!
Remember? MS Works? Nothing new, here. Move along...
Because, as we know "It Just Works" was invented by Apple.
You have to admit, it's better than the old one:
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
So does it "Just work" like IE "Conforms to CSS Spec"? Perhaps Lie will come out with a Acid3 test that shoves the cream pie into Billg's face like the earlier time it happened.
It just works...
<zoom in on fine print...>
The "It just works" slogan is representative that Microsoft products will work for something. Microsoft guarantees that all hardware running Microsoft software will always "Just work" as:
Boat anchors
Target practice
Paper weights
Furniture, including bookends, footstools, and coffee tables
"It just works" may or may not apply to:
File storage
Application development
Application platform
Gaming
Multimedia
Use of the Internet
depending on the availability of service packs, updates, and copious bandwidth, as well as other factors (not exclusively including) ambient temperature, the phase of the moon, the average body mass index of Microsoft programmers, and the parity of your score when you reach the flagpole.
I pity the foo that isn't metasyntactic
Apple: proudly failing to capitalize on good ideas since 1976
Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.
Nah, MS just made that up and it happened to be just like their slogan. This is comparing Apples and oranges.
(Bitter, evil, digusting, thieving oranges)
"When the atomic bomb goes off there's devastation...but when the atomic bong goes off there's celebraaaaation!"
... because you have to know that this slogan is going to be ridiculed. It probably took all of a few microseconds before the first parody of ``It Just Works'' was thought up. Here's mine:
Longhorn: It Barely Works
Longhorn: It Just Works In the Lab
Longhorn: It Almost Works
Longhorn: It Worked Just a Minute Ago!
I'll be referring to Longhorn using the first one I listed above. Seems like it'll be a useful slogan until about SP3 or SP4. (That's if it ever makes it to market.)
CUR ALLOC 20195.....5804M
They say, "It just works".
I sit with skepticism.
Microsoft go home.
I seem to recall that Ballmer had used that exact line ("It Just Works") to describe Windows ME. I can't find the exact reference, but this one might be close.
I remember this because at the time, one of my colleagues kept mocking Ballmer by deliberately misquoting it as "It just broke." To which I usually responded, "...again."
Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
Yeah, but the people in Microsoft's logo are dramatically obese.
here is the right one:
It just works. Sometimes.
You can't handle the truth.
Microsoft: It just works as long as you have 5+ years of experience or you'll be screwed by spyware and viri.
>lots of MacOSX code went into the early Windows versions
So Microsoft's innovation was inventing a time machine?
Unbelievable indeed...
You can't talk about Wikipedia's flaws on Wikipedia
Because, as we know "It Just Works" was invented by Apple.
It's not like the phrase returns 150,000 hits on Google or anything. And Linux distros like Ubuntu certainly haven't used that phrase to describe their OS.
Come on; you know that we're supposed to be against Microsoft on this one. Didn't you get the memo?
this is my sig
They are Americans....
As bill gates once said (paraphrase): you want IQ scores to add, not subtract. That's where people skills comes in.
It should be noted that these are a few of the synonyms for "just" in the Microsoft Word Thesaurus. Barely Hardly Scarcely Slightly
Revised EULA text follows:
16. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. The Limited Warranty that appears above is the only express warranty made to you and is provided in lieu of any other express warranties or similar obligations (if any) created by any advertising, documentation, packaging, or other communications. Specifically, marketing materials containing the phrase "It Just Works" specifically define "works" as the standard operation of the software, information and related content AS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and does not warrant that the behavior of the software will meet expectations of function or operation. Except for the Limited Warranty and to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, Microsoft and its suppliers provide the Software and support services (if any) AS IS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and hereby disclaim all other warranties and conditions, whether express, implied or statutory, including, but not limited to, any (if any) implied warranties, duties or conditions of merchantability, of fitness for a particular purpose, of reliability or availability, of accuracy or completeness of responses, of results, of workmanlike effort, of lack of viruses, and of lack of negligence, all with regard to the Software, and the provision of or failure to provide support or other services, information, software, and related content through the Software or otherwise arising out of the use of the Software. ALSO, THERE IS NO WARRANTY OR CONDITION OF TITLE, QUIET ENJOYMENT, QUIET POSSESSION, CORRESPONDENCE TO DESCRIPTION OR NON-INFRINGEMENT WITH REGARD TO THE SOFTWARE.
Somebody get that guy an ambulance!
It just works... But to be on the safe side, please upgrade to Intel Pentium Extreme2 7ghz
> No mensa logic puzzles there. Just: Here's a pen, there's the whiteboard, Here's a problem, start pseudocoding.
So that's how they coded Longhorn?
Longhorn: Insanely Great
Microsoft hasnt actually decided on the final slogan
the choices are:
Microsoft - It Just Barely Works
Microsoft - It Almost Never Works
Microsoft - At Least We Aren't SCO
Up in Ottawa and down in Texas, they're fond of saying "all hat and no cattle."
Our British cousins are fond of saying "all mouth and no trousers."
Of Microsoft's group vice president for platforms, I'm fond of saying "Allchin and no dick."
Smug, annoying and delusional - he's the archetypal marketmonkey.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, write technology blogs.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
They mis-spelled S-U-C-K-S... I'll admit, they both end in "ks", but the reality is completely different than what they're spinning here...
I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
"The VP of marketing at Ford looked at me smugly: 'Well,' he said, 'just compare the number of Ford Focueses on the market to the number of BMWs, and it's clear that we're in the lead'."
My good looks paid for that pool, and my talent filled it with water.
"In any case, the only person who through a logic puzzle at me"
For heaven's sake, man. It's 'THREW' - you didn't turn down the position at Microsoft: they bonged you for misusage of the English language!
...it's the mantra of win32 virus and spyware authors :-)
How unfortunate a slogan.
Another reading of "It just works" is the take that it is barely adequate, just about to fail. Which is considerable truth in advertising from MS.
The software analogue of this is, "It compiles, ship it!"
Ok, so they did not only steal from Xerox, but they also bribed Xerox to not complain about it. Shame on them! :-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.