Slashdot Mirror


Longhorn: Fewer BSODs, More RSODs

Jan Theofel writes "Windows Loghorn will present you less BSOD. Joi Ito reports that Windows Longorn will get additional ROSD (red screen of death) for 'really bad errors.' So you will get less BSOD but some new RSOD. You can find a ROSD screenshot in a virtual machine in his weblog entry."

45 of 573 comments (clear)

  1. New Feature by guaigean · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's always nice to see Microsoft adding new "features". Now they can tout Longhorn's decreased BSOD occurrences. Although I'd think they'd wanna avoid red screens as they are angry colors.

    --
    Microsoft Sucks, F/OSS Rocks. I get mod points now right?
    1. Re:New Feature by kertong · · Score: 5, Funny

      They also fail to mention the 3rd kind of failiure: the purple screen of death. Happens when longhorn bsods and rsods at the same time. psod is part of microsoft's new "quantum crash" technology, which is another added feature to longhorn.

      I can't wait to upgrade!

    2. Re:New Feature by ebuck · · Score: 5, Funny

      After which, Blarney, the animated Dinosaur will come popping up on your screen, trying to assist you in useful, cheerful ways.

      Blarney:

      Ohhh...
      Your computer crashed...
      But don't be sad....
      Be HAPPY!

      BSOD, BSOD,
      it's like getting a typing break for free!
      With a song and a dance, it will all go away.
      But it'll be back another day.

      User: They must relax gun laws for justifiable computer shootings.

    3. Re:New Feature by turbidostato · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, not exactly.

      It is a new technology specially developed for datacentres: you either predict which moment any computer gonna crash, or you can point a box and predict that one will crash, but you can't predict at the same time which computer and when.

      I think they call it "Ballmer's Uncertainty Principle", or something like that.

    4. Re:New Feature by dmaxwell · · Score: 1, Funny

      Can FirefFox pleasure me orally? (Although I am suprised no one has implemented an extension for this and some hardware, I think the answer is a 'NO')

      Well, it's Open Source so if you want Firefox to have oral pleasuring then develop it yourself!

    5. Re:New Feature by Aqua+OS+X · · Score: 3, Funny

      Perhaps MS should get a graphic designer to design their screens of death like Apple does.

      Although a good kernel panic is rare, it's nice to know they look pretty when they come up. It's kind of like someone placing confetti inside of an airbag.

      "Ohhh Shi... hum, that nice looking... ohh, ya... shit."

      --
      "Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
    6. Re:New Feature by mrchaotica · · Score: 3, Funny

      If the dinosaur's name is "Blarney" he ought to represent the green screen of death!

      --

      "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  2. Orange and Yellow? by sgeye · · Score: 5, Funny

    So where are the yellow and orange? Looks like MS has been taking advice from Tom Ridge.

    1. Re:Orange and Yellow? by fermion · · Score: 3, Funny
      Rimmer: Step up to red alert!
      Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

      Next thing you know they will have a mauve screen of death.

      --
      "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  3. Look! now it's RED!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let that be a leeson for the losers that keep claiming that Microsoft never
    innovates!

  4. Spelling by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does ROSD=RSOD or is it some twisted lack of spellchecking?

  5. in other news by Coneasfast · · Score: 2, Funny

    Parents all over America are concerned that these new 'Red' screens of death are very stressful for their children and are pushing for microsoft to change this color immediately.

    Microsoft was unavailable for comment at this time.

    --
    Marge, get me your address book, 4 beers, and my conversation hat.
  6. Thank goodness. by ebuck · · Score: 3, Funny

    I guess they've FINALLY fixed the last issue that casues a blue screen of death with Longhorn. :)

  7. wtf is a really bad error? by aendeuryu · · Score: 5, Funny

    What exactly is a really bad error? I mean, a bad error versus a really bad error? That warrants a color change, anyways?

    Frankly, I think customers ought to get rsod's for actually buying the damn product. That seems like a really bad error to me.

    1. Re:wtf is a really bad error? by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sure, but how is that different from a BSOD? They're both fatal errors. If you were working on something at that time, it's gone.

      Frankly the only times I'd expect to see a RSOD would be for about 2 seconds before the smell of charred components reached my nose and the screen snow crashed.

      --
      ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
  8. Yeah, right. by dotslashconfig · · Score: 2, Funny

    You can find a ROSD screenshot in a virtual machine in his weblog entry.

    Not anymore, heheheh....

  9. Give me my any-color-but-blue SOD! by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 2, Funny

    If Microsoft is really smart (*cough* did I say somthing bad *cough*), they would allow admins to change the color of the Screen Of Death anyway they like. Personally, I like amber text on a black background. It reminds of the days when I had an amber monochrome monitor for my Commodore 64 when I was a little lad.

    1. Re:Give me my any-color-but-blue SOD! by rez_rat · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Bright white"??

      I say it again, "Bright white"??

      What does it do? Burn your eyeballs?

      S-

  10. Red-shifting by coma_bug · · Score: 5, Funny

    Longhorn is red-shifting... the release date must be receeding!

    1. Re:Red-shifting by dj245 · · Score: 5, Funny
      After the launch of Longhorn, Microsoft will announce their new color coding system of screens of death, including:

      Red: For extreme specific errors. An error has in fact already happened.
      Orange: For nonspecific systemwide errors, signifying imminent error.
      Yellow: An elevated error status, it is suspected that an error could occurr at any time
      Blue: The standard error message for vague and undescriptive errors of no substance
      Green: No error at this time, but remain on watch for errors.

      --
      Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
    2. Re:Red-shifting by CptnSbaitso · · Score: 5, Funny

      (continued from previous post) Microsoft officials expressed great satisfaction regarding their recent work on the new coloring system. "We believe that this system will help keep all users aware of the errorist threat."

  11. Microsoft's new RSOD with Clippy... by rice_burners_suck · · Score: 4, Funny
    Shouldn't Microsoft be working on a way to reduce the number of BSOD/RSOD through better kernel-land code and better handling of userland errors, instead of trying to create a more informative BSOD process? Darn... Wait a while, and Clippy the talking paperclip will show up during the BSOD to explain what all the gibberish in hexadecimal means, and why "Windows is busy waiting" or whatever the BSOD says nowadays.

    Speaking of reliability, I was just thinking how Microsoft could reduce the complexity of the next version of Windows, Longtooth, due in 2009.

    Longtooth will include a tremendous amount of new features implemented in completely new code. Many, but not all, existing features would be reimplemented in VisualBasic.NET just for the heck of it, even if mature versions are already implemented in C or C++. Programmers making the new VisualBasic.NET code would not be allowed to look at the code that already exists, so that new ideas might be better implemented. The features will be chosen by random for reimplementation.

    All Microsoft code would assume that any Microsoft code (the OS and any Microsoft applications) is secure. This code will always execute with no checks to make it run faster. All other code will be subject to Longtooth's new security system, dubbed Microsoft Longtooth Security Center 2003. This feature will give users more control over processes that execute in their computers. I will explain some of its features here:

    To maximize security, Microsoft Longtooth Security Center 2003 will make certain assumptions about the user. For example, users who use Microsoft products are assumed to know what they are doing. However, users of 3rd party applications not made by Microsoft are always assumed to be complete idiots. Therefore, all user interface events occurring outside of Microsoft applications will trigger a safety mechanism.

    For example, each time the user moves the mouse in an area not controlled by a Microsoft application, the user will see crosshairs moving across the screen to indicate where the mouse will be located. When the user stops moving the mouse, an authentication window will appear and state: "The user has requested that the mouse be moved to the location on the screen indicated by the crosshairs. This area of the screen is controlled by untrusted code that may cause damage to your computer, your documents, or your network. Do you wish to allow the mouse to move to this location?" Buttons for "yes", "no", "details", and "help" will be displayed.

    Selecting "no" will cause the mouse cursor to remain at its previous location. Selecting "yes" will bring up another window, requesting the user's password to authenticate the movement of the mouse. If the user enters the correct password, the mouse cursor movement will be authenticated to that user and the cursor will be placed at the new location. Selecting "details" will display the X and Y coordinates of the new position, followed by warnings against using untrusted rogue code such as Linux.

    For additional protection, clicks, keys pressed on the keyboard, items selected in a menu, or other input events will trigger similar security mechanisms. Since Microsoft code is considered secure, these checks will not occur in windows owned by Microsoft code. Also, the mouse may be used to click on the above buttons and fields during mouse movement authentication. If any such movement of the mouse takes place during the authentication process, the mouse will still be moved to the location indicated by the crosshairs, but a bug in Windows will cause the cursor to immediately "bounce" back to the location where it was last used during authentication. Microsoft will refuse to fix the bug unless Linux is outlawed in all countries, even those countries that have no computers.

    Many other authentication checks will be made by Windows. I'll return to this topic in a moment. First, let me mention that Clippy, the talking paperclip, along with other Microsoft characters, will appear during this proces

  12. Re:And I'm Not Using Linux by datafr0g · · Score: 3, Funny

    A mac then? :P

    --
    "Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!" - Alfred E. Neuman
  13. Re:Page already Slashdotted... by mnmn · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'll bet he's experiencing the RSOD right now.

    --
    "Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
  14. The next thing they need to do by FunkyRat · · Score: 5, Funny

    is add a Green Screen of Death. Then they'll be able to add together death colors to get much needed functionality for TrueColor Screens of Death.

  15. Re:BSOD by Geek+of+Tech · · Score: 5, Funny
    Don't worry sir, I expect you'll finally get your computer plugged in any day now.

    In all seriousness though, XP isn't nearly as prone to BSODs ( or any other color :P ) , as 9x was. I'd still prefer my Debian or Gentoo though.

    --
    Stop the Slashdot effect! Don't read the articles!
  16. Patent #7,554,674 by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 5, Funny
    Multiple SOD colours.

    That's innovation for you!

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
    1. Re:Patent #7,554,674 by Golias · · Score: 4, Funny

      So, I guess this means red is the new blue.

      They will be thrilled to hear the news in Milan and Paris.

      --

      Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    2. Re:Patent #7,554,674 by chrish · · Score: 2, Funny

      Next up, skinnable *SOD screens.

      --
      - chrish
  17. Re:You have failed physics. Turn in your slashdot by The+Illegal+Pirates · · Score: 3, Funny

    You brain dead moron. Microsoft takes advantage of the next generation directx 9 3d acceleration hardware available in all longhorn-supporting computers to blend the blue and red into a dark, rich purple using sophisticated algorithms, lighting effects, and large textures.

  18. Re:BSOD by myowntrueself · · Score: 5, Funny

    I remember reading about the press conference where the Xbox was being hyped up.

    The MS guy said "There will be no blue screen of death on the xbox"

    I wish I'd been there, I'd have stuck my hand up and asked "What color will it be instead?"

    --
    In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
  19. Re:You have failed physics. Turn in your slashdot by The+Illegal+Pirates · · Score: 3, Funny

    In case you were wondering, we know this because we stole a prerelease copy of Longhorn at musketpoint.

  20. RSOD? by purple_cobra · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is it related to this:
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/rsod/

    1. Re:RSOD? by sam5550 · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, that's what USERS do when an unrecoverable error occurs.

  21. Re:I see BSOD's a lot. by grolschie · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ah.... I see that you are familiar with ATI's Catalyst drivers* then. Either that, or VIA's Hyperion drivers*. :-)

    * Disclaimer: I use the term "drivers" very loosely.

  22. Rabbit hole by MisterSquid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why, oh why, didn't I take the blue screen?

    --
    blog
  23. Oblig. Red Dwarf Quote by bobbis.u · · Score: 2, Funny

    Rimmer: Step up to red alert! Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

  24. Re:Spelling by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, it's spelled correctly. ROSD is how "Red Screen Of Death" is spelled on Little-Endian systems.

  25. Re:BSOD by SirTalon42 · · Score: 2, Funny

    MS guy: "There will be no blue screen of death on the xbox"

    myowntrueself: "What color will it be instead"

    *MS Security advances on myowntrueself*

    *fight between myowntrueself and ms security*

    *ms security tasers myowntrueself and procedes to beat him till the audience forgets the question*

    MS guy: "Any other questions?"

  26. Without warning? by rebug · · Score: 4, Funny

    How the hell do you expect to get a warning before your kernel crashes?

    "WARNING: Your kernel will crash in ten seconds. Owing to the very nature of the event, there is nothing you can do about it."

    --

    there's more than one way to do me.
  27. Now with new icons! by PhYrE2k2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow! I'm going to change my applications to have the question icon on yes/no boxes to exclaimation and repackage it- I'll make millions :)

    First off, why is this news? Why is this worthy of Slashdot? Microsoft creates new error message screen *gasp*. Microsoft changes colour of text-only screen *gasp*. Who cares!

    So a list of error codes now has a new colour- yippie.

    -M

    --

    when you see the word 'Linux', drink!
  28. Re:Mod parent INSIGHTFUL ! by DigiShaman · · Score: 2, Funny

    While they're at it, why not make it a *flashing* RSOD :P

    OMG, da machine is fuxored!!!

    --
    Life is not for the lazy.
  29. color code it like the threat level by p51d007 · · Score: 2, Funny

    If MS wants to REALLY spice things up, they need a color scheme for "BSOD". Red=really really bad Yellow=really bad Blue=bad etc...

  30. Been there... by n.e.watson · · Score: 1, Funny

    Way ahead of you, Microsoft. Change The BSoD color If your error crashes my computer, I'm not going to care if it was a "red" level of severity or a "blue" level of severity. I already know it was severe enough to crash my computer.

  31. Re:You have failed physics. Turn in your slashdot by pAnkRat · · Score: 1, Funny

    Microsoft cannot use magenta in this product, because the german Telecom (T-online, T-mobile, T-whatever) has trademarket, copyrighted and likely patented the use of magenta in the Information Technology sector.

    (This is true in Germany, but I think they pushed this thing world wide)

    --
    we need an "-1 Plain wrong" moderation option!