Slashdot Mirror
USPTO Issues Email Address Patent to Microsoft
theodp writes "On Tuesday, Microsoft was granted U.S. patent no. 6,895,426 for treating electronic mail addresses as objects, which Microsoft notes allows email addresses to be easily added to a contact list, copied to the computer's clipboard, or double-clicked to open the related contact information for that email address sender. After the reaction to news of his first patent, betcha inventor Dan Crevier isn't too eager to let folks know about this one."
You insensitive clod, I was that kid!
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
It has been shockingly revealed that the United States Patent Office has granted patent "31337d00d" to Apple. This patent guarantees Apple the rights to the idea of "A system of processes by which intellectual property may be applied for, accepted or rejected, in the form of patents". The only response from their press office is that they plan on suing the US Patent Office for its infringement, and backpay for the last century for lost revenue.
I own the patent on whitened fluff pulp, you insensitive clod!
Ok, in light of this patent let me be the first to patent women as objects. ..
I kid. I kid.
... we can now sue microsoft for all that lost productivity. Somehow they must be responsible if they own the patent which made me sift through herbal viagra for 40 minutes each day
Ok, fine. I hereby declare that I have patented everything that has not been patented yet.
I just gotta get my staff to write legalistic-sounding descriptions for everything (as if I had personally invented them), and get them over to the USPTO.
In the meantime, all of you please send me your mailing addresses so I can forward the royalty bills (I patented those, too).
The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
struct emailAddress
{
string name;
string location;
emailAddress()
{
name = defaultname;
location = default@example.com;
}
}
That could seriously damage my .sig business! I've been in the business of selling high-quality signature files for quite some time now. I figure I may as well get my plug in:
This .sig is free shareware. Register now for only $49.95 to get its full 10MB version!
-- Truth goes out the door when rumor comes innuendo. -- Groucho Marx
Welp, my new formula has now increased the toxicity of my chemical agent and I can kiil 2000 people simultaneously in a low wind environment!
I am so happy about this as I am guarnateed to be able to seel this to some regime or another.!!
Please wirte below and congratulate me on my discovery
bah!*@%!
I wouldn't do that if I were you. I have already patented the process for sueing the USPTO for negligence. Sorry.
That said, I'm going to have the last word, because I can!
Hello everybody, I'm an asshole!
If you look at the article, the patent is on treating an email address as an object. This means that the patent office has opened the door to any "treat X as an object" patent. Essentially, they have just killed OO programming.
Luckily, it won't damage the porn industry, they have plenty of prior art on record for treating women like objects. But that scared me for a minute..
All movements for social change begin as missions, evolve into businesses, and end up as rackets.
Yeah, in the future, code won't be structured at all as a result of this patent! There'll be spaghetti code and god objects all over the place! *looks at own code* AAH, IT'S STARTED ALREADY!!
If the cat can't experience its own death, nothing will ever kill you. (No, really!)
I'm patenting the process for treating a patent as an object. Everybody owes me money.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
Is Kibo's .sig file up to 10MB already? Seems like only yesterday that it was merely a few hundred kilobites.
[
since this is just a combination of already established comptuer science methodolgies (object serialization, etc.) I propose the following:
- user goes to mexican restaurant
- user eats spicy burrito
- user consumes spciy sauce
- user drinks strong coffee afterwards
- user takes huge shit
clearly the user serialized his data (i.e. the burrito), put it into a container (his stomach), then treated his data as an object by running it through drinking application (coffee) then running through another application (colon) and receiving final confirmation. toilet bowl full of shit.so, who's with me?
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
Right now if I like flamebait messages, I can give them a +2 modifier and read all of them. Your idea doesn't address the needs of readers who enjoy foaming at the mouth gibberish (at least, not without a hierarchy of moderation types and really making the preferences page unusable).
Don't blame me; I'm never given mod points.
Don't feel bad. Most of us lost our first game of kickball and took up video games instead.
"ANYTHING can be an object"
...
Except for NULL