Slashdot Mirror


I am the Most Spammed Person in the World

jefp writes "In November 2004, Microsoft's second-in-command Steve Ballmer made some headlines by mentioning that Chairman Bill Gates was getting four million spams per day. At the time, I was dealing with a little spam problem of my own - I was getting around a million spams per day. I found it a little comforting that my problem wasn't quite as bad as Bill's. However, a couple of weeks later Ballmer corrected himself, saying he mis-remembered the stat and Gates actually gets four million per year. This means I was getting one hundred times as much spam as Bill Gates. I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

43 of 478 comments (clear)

  1. This will help his spam problem for sure!! by fizz · · Score: 5, Funny

    he just went from 1 million a day to about 1.3 million a day.

  2. Yech! by RileyLewis · · Score: 0, Funny

    I can't even stand a single can, how do you get on with that much?

  3. Give him a Tony by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    for Spamalot

  4. And that's why.... by The+Woodworker · · Score: 5, Funny

    you don't post your email address to farmgirls.com!

    --
    Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll wipe out the species.
    1. Re:And that's why.... by gstoddart · · Score: 4, Funny
      you don't post your email address to farmgirls.com!

      Oh, sure, and I'm sitting behind a monitored corporate firewall wondering just what might be on the end of such an URL.

      Bastards!
      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    2. Re:And that's why.... by spood · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, sure, and I'm sitting behind a monitored corporate firewall wondering just what might be on the end of such an URL.

      Well, apparently they don't have a problem with your slashdot habit!

      --
      ---- Just another spud server.
  5. Tip #1 by SpanishInquisition · · Score: 0, Funny

    Stop subscribing at all those porn sites!

    --
    Je t'aime Stéphanie
  6. You can cope with 1M spam emails... by ccozan · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...but not with one slashdotting.

  7. What's happening here is: by Njoyda+Sauce · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's really just using Slashdot to break his server farm so he won't have to get spam anymore.

    --

    You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
  8. Not so clever by xtracto · · Score: 4, Funny

    Keep my web service running too, since it's on the same machine.

    You try to do this by submiting a story to /. front page?

    --
    Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
  9. Don't need to RTFA... by raehl · · Score: 1, Funny

    Stop signing up for all those free porn sites!

  10. I know how to deal with spam. by PopeAlien · · Score: 5, Funny

    I dont get nearly as much spam as that, but even a few hundred a day is pretty irritating. My solution is to delete all email as soon as I get it.

    I figure if its important I'll get a phone call.

    1. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Everleet · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all phone calls as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important I'll get an IM.

      --
      It's tragic. Laugh.
    2. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by DoomHaven · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all IMs as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important, I'll get a visit.

      --
      "Don't mind me cutting myself on Occam's Razor"
    3. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by over_exposed · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, I'll get an e-mail.

      I couldn't resist, I'm sorry. *hangs head in shame*

      --
      "The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his." - Patton
    4. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Poltras · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, the police will come and circle the house.

    5. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by AndersOSU · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, in Soviet Russia the police delete you.

    6. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Funny, I delete all the police as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, the feds will show up.

    7. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Cobralisk · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't know, as I delete all slashdot threads as soon as I get them. I figure if its important I'll get a crapflood of spam.

      --
      Waiting for ad.doubleclick.net...
    8. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by MarkGriz · · Score: 4, Funny

      I also delete all slashdot threads as soon as I get them. I figure if its important, Taco will dupe it.

      --
      Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
    9. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by The-Bus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Sorry, readers. The posters and the posts above are on the queue to be sacked. We had asked someone in the department to sack them earlier, but they didn't do it. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

      As a result, since no one receives email, calls, visitors, IMs, telegrams, or Soviet secret police, we are sending messenger (African) pigeons to deliver these messages to you, in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

      --

      Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

    10. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Funny, I deleted God and then there was nothing but silence and void until I got a Viagra spam. I wonder what would be the best way to deal with it?

    11. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Funny, I delete all of my deletes as soon as they are deleted. I figure if it's important, I'll get deleted.

    12. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Aerion · · Score: 3, Funny

      Exactly how fast do these pigeons travel?

      I need to know so that I can anticipate their arrival and delete them as soon as they get here.

      I figure if it's important, they'll send a messenger swallow.

  11. I wonder.. by Mikey+Rowan · · Score: 4, Funny

    I wonder if Bill changes email addresses as much as I install security patches. Karma's a bitch.

  12. Well duh! by Lugor · · Score: 2, Funny

    They are ACME Labs! They have everything I ever need. I order my gear to get that nasty Road Runner from them all the time! Its great stuff!

  13. "mis-remembered" by johansalk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does Ballmer "mis-remember" his others stats too; he's been showering us with them lately.

  14. Re:Good test for thttpd. by CyricZ · · Score: 2, Funny

    This does not reflect well on thttpd. Not that I'm saying it is a poorly designed web server (indeed, I know it is not!), but it did not last long during this Slashdot barrage. I hope this doesn't become an incident people will refer to when attempting to denegrate thttpd.

    --
    Cyric Zndovzny at your service.
  15. in the world... by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 3, Funny

    but now he's the most slashdotted person in the world

    Hmmm...
    * "World's biggest hacker"
    * "World's Fastest Inkjet Printer"

    And what we have here? The "most spammed person in the world" becomes "the most slashdotted person in the world" who used "the most over-used headline cliché in the world".
    Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner! :D

    1. Re:in the world... by fataugie · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ha! I'm the World's Greatest Dad, and I have a mug to prove it!

      The funny thing is, I don't have any kids....

      --

      WTF? Over?

  16. Heh by aftk2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That is impressive, but I imagine that any catch-all email addresses at foo.com or test.com might beat even that.

    --
    concrete5: a cms made for marketing, but strong enough for geeks.
    1. Re:Heh by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

      I use my Senator's email address. I suspect he needs a bigger penis anyhow.

    2. Re:Heh by mattsucks · · Score: 4, Funny
      I use my Senator's email address. I suspect he needs a bigger penis anyhow.
      Nah, he's probably a big enough dick as it is.

      It is testicular enhancement that is called for in the case of most Senators.
  17. What I Use by pastpolls · · Score: 2, Funny

    For my fake email I have used john@holmes.com. I just thought it was funny to use. Then I realized there was a holmes.com. I would surely hate to some guy named john if I work there. I can imagine his email box is going nuts from 10 years worth of stuff.

  18. Re:nowhere by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah, but the folks at asdf.com had it even worse.

  19. Re:Stop endorsing plagiarism, editors!!! by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny
    You don't suppose they could be the same person, hmm?

    I think the line

    "I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

    kinda gave that away already.

    --
    If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
  20. slashdotted... by ajrs · · Score: 5, Funny

    so I sent him an email asking for the text

  21. Close second. by Grendel+Drago · · Score: 5, Funny
    My money's on this one.

    Yeah, back in my day, if we needed directions we had to slaughter a goat and wiggle the intestines!

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about abusing a beautiful animal like a goat? If I ever catch you i'll crack your skull open.

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about cracking someone's skull open? If I ever catch you i'll slaughter you and wiggle the intestines.

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about slaughtering someone? If I ever catch you I'll sit down and eat Ice Cream.

    I am Ice Cream, you insensitive clod!
    --
    Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
    1. Re:Close second. by lpangelrob2 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm not sure how you managed to managed to repost a thread with a combined score of -1 to get a +4 Funny... but can you teach me that trick?

  22. Re:MOD PARENT UP! by TuringTest · · Score: 3, Funny

    Someone deletes all your thoughts as soon as you get them?

    --
    Singularity: a belief in the "God" idea with the "demiurge" relation inverted.
  23. Re:Author is a liar. by fishbowl · · Score: 2, Funny

    >He wasn't getting a million fucking spam a day.

    I want to see the MTA that can even handle this. His MTA can move a million messages just in spam, but his web server can't stand up to a mild slashdotting?

    --
    -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
  24. Re:Full text - it's Slashdoted (minus img and tabl by avgjoe62 · · Score: 2, Funny
    OK...

    The guy that gets 1000000 items of spam per day is slashdotted?

    Beware geeks bearing .GIFs

    --

    How come Slashdot never gets Slashdotted?

  25. Re:DNS-RBLs by cpeterso · · Score: 4, Funny


    Maybe someone should create a blacklist blacklist?