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ESRB Revokes San Andreas Rating
Alex Blonski writes "In a stunning move, the ESRB has advised retailers to stop selling Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. This report follows public pressure over the Hot Coffee debacle. Rockstar, the publishers of the game have given retailers the option of restickering the game with an 18+ rating or exchanging it for a new version with the controversial content removed. ESRB head Patricia Vance says 'After a thorough investigation, we have concluded that sexually explicit material exists in a fully rendered, unmodified form on the final discs of all three platform versions of the game (i.e., PC CD-ROM, Xbox and PS2). However, the material was programmed by Rockstar to be inaccessible to the player and they have stated that it was never intended to be made accessible. The material can only be accessed by downloading a software patch, created by an independent third party without Rockstar's permission, which is now freely available on the internet and through console accessories. Considering the existence of the undisclosed and highly pertinent content on the final discs, compounded by the broad distribution of the third party modification, the credibility and utility of the initial ESRB rating has been seriously undermined.'"
This makes me want to kill the ESRB board, but I will do one better, I will run around naked in front of them. Well at least now we have a new scapegoat, the Doom one was getting old...
People found to be naked under clothes.
Merkins.
'Nuff said.
The FCC will be investigating the "pixel malfunction" in GTASA, obviously.
Bicycles are made illegal because children can go on the Internet and download porn.
If that's true, then I need to look into changing my citizenship status to become French! I'll take sex over violence *any day*.
I can get sex in a patch now? Like Nicorette?
That would save a lot of wrist strain.
Hello!
We left Britian because it wasn't puritanical enough for us!
What did you expect!
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
Yes, and look at who you picked. That's the painful irony.
Maybe your grandfather's girlfriend shouldn't have been such whore to have had sex with your cousin.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Real power? Real ULTIMATE power?
Hi, this post is all about the ESRB, THE REAL ESRB. This post is awesome. My name is Dave and I can't stop thinking about the ESRB. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Facts:
1. The ESRB raise your children.
2. The ESRB rate stuff ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ESRB is to flip out and rate stuff AO.
The ESRB can rate anything they want! The ESRB rate stuff AO ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. My friend Mark said that he saw the ESRB totally rate some game AO just because you could see the persons skin!
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yet when there's one pixel nipple to be seen
What I can't understand is that a one-pixel nipple would just be a single dot of #A65C3F - is that REALLY offensive?
An ellipse of, say, #EDCFC5, with a smaller circle of #A65C3F therein.. dude, that's another matter, that is seriously offensive. Won't SOMEONE please THINK of the CHILDREN??
In other news, the ESRB are re-rating Doom 3, for possible hardcore anal scenes between zombies.
From what I understand the sex scenes aren't even particularly explicit. Who does it with their clothes on, I mean really?
Oh wait, considering how objectionable these people seem to think this scene is, they probably ARE the type of people who do it with their clothes on.
---If you can't trust a nerd, who can you trust?
Well, I was with you on everything until you said burn down a pot farm. Now that is just wrong!
~S
...but nipples are absolutely for adults only.
Well see, it's really quite obvious. Violence can be shown easily, so it must be a natural thing, and as a natural thing there is no harm in showing it.
Lesson: Sex is completely unnatural.
The internet has been banned because of the possibility that children may buy bicycles online.
Think about it. GTA is the perfect medium by which to teach guys how to *really* pleasure a woman. As long as the gameplay makes you work for the woman's orgasm, meaning you're going to have to work those controls for more than 5 minutes guys, I say bring it on.
GTA: Turning Geeks into Better Lovers
~tokengeekgrrl
Bah! Captain Obvious is one to talk, given that his video game ("Captain Obvious vs. the Braindead Senators") had a patch that enabled such a scene as well (in which, for the most part) Captain Obvious stood on the sidelines, watching and snidely pointing out the fundamentals every time one participant did something wrong).
Point of interest. Offering to shoot us might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine.
I've even heard that the BSA is trying to prevent scoutmasters from smoking near the boys. Because you wouldn't want a role model to be doing something as EEEEEEEEVIL as smoking.
They can have my pipe when they pry it from my cold dead hands. Twits.
They should have put two men having sex in it too; instant extra controversy.
Does this apply to boardgames too? Because I was able to draw naughty pictures all over a game of Monopoly... I'd like that game to be rated "Adults Only" now. Who can I contact at the ESRB?
Esoteric reference.
I heard a rumor on the internets that you can download naked pictures! Somebody cover my eyes quickly, I can't be trusted to do it myself!
Depends. Are they big boobs?
>> Society does need some regulation of public behavior for public good though.
:)
That concept has always seemed a little redundant to me. Why is it okay for parents to swear like hell around (at) their kids, but the moment someone on TV does it, it's time to light the torches?
>>but broadcast television is in some way public behavior, because of its wide exposure.
I hope so, or it wouldn't be broadcast, would it?
>>Wide release movies are similar as well.
Small-release foreign "artsy" films, regardless of the sexual nature, are better, because it only creates a handful of psychopathic deviants.
>>To ask parents to put their kids in a cocoon and never let them out (they may get exposed to something horrible outside of the house), is unreasonable.
Which is why it is better to expose your children, under your careful supervision, to the things they might encounter once they have grown. You don't protect a child from falling down the stairs by preventing him/her from ever seeing steps until they move out of the house, you keep them safe by putting barriers in the way, and gradually you remove the barriers, and give them the guidance and protection they need until they can handle them on their own.
>>At some point you have to regulate some things everyone gets exposed to so that some of them don't have psychological trauma from the experience.
I agree. Parents should be put away if their kid walks in on them when they're having sex. Screwed me up for years...
Microsoft has just released their much anticipated hands-free cordless mouse. Warning, it may hurt a little at first.
Here is a overly simplified, but rather useful demonstration of what is now called "The Nipple Pixel Effect" Please examine the images below carefully!
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This is a (highly magnified) default pixel:
The pixel is devoid of content, ready to receive nuance and meaning. As many Slashdot regulars know, the scientific name for this state is "boring".
This is a (highly magnified) weapon pixel:
Note that the pixel is now filled with violent energies. Careful examination of this pixel shows its propensity to do damage to peace-loving liberal agendas. The scientific name for a pixel in this state is "fun".
This is a (highly magnified) nipple pixel:
This pixel is heaving with throbbing unquenced sexual desire. Take the time to examine this pixel more closely and you will notice how it seems to be renlentless thrusting at your closed, but oh so moist mind with expansive heat which melts conservative agendas. The scientific name for a pixel in this state is "more fun" to male computer scientists and "yeah, whatever" to female computer scientists.
Now, if we examine the firm, yet silky nipple pixel, gently take it between our fingers, so to speak, we can see that the pixel is actually composed of discreet... OH MY GOD ITS ZOMBIE STROM THURMOND AND HIS NEO-CONSORVATORS OF MORAL DISCIPLINE. HELP! THEY'VE MADE IT THROUGH MY FRONT DOOR. ACK! RICK SANTORUM'S SECRET TWO-HEADED FETUS-MONSTER IS CHEWING ON MY CABLE MODEM. AGH! I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HOLD OUT. ECK! BILL FRIST JUST DISECTED MY CAT! OH THE HUMANITY! PLEASE TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER VERY M...
Its not only sex in video games, I saw a NIPPLE on the TV!!
the CHILDREN are DOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!
Starsucks
Children are banned, having been found to be a result of pornography.
I don't think that a Schützenfest is what you think it is. It's a festival, also held in other German-speaking countries, that was originally rooted in archery and shooting competitions, but is now just a big celebration for the whole family. It involves fair-type games, parades, concerts, and other tourist-enticing activities.
UNIX: A computer user is defined as a programmer. WINDOWS: A computer user is defined as a consumer.
True (and sad) story. I was perusing a /. threadwar one day where guy #1 was saying that guy #2 had no right to speak as an authority on the subject because guy #2 had a dumb screenname. Guy #2 fires back with something along the lines of "so I could have three degrees in the subject but you wouldn't agree with me because my name was 'The Ultimate Fartknocker'?" In that moment, I knew that it was time to stop posting AC and sign up for a real account.
So I'm signing up for an account, screw something up, and go back to correct it but don't realise that the information on the form has been truncated to just the characters that were visible in the box and not what was off-screen before. Lo and behold, I am now "The Ultimate Fartkno."
The end result was so dumb that I *had* to keep it just for the story...
Banning has been banned as this has led to the extinction of human race.