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Jerk-O-Meter to Meter Jerks

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the listen-up dept.

prostoalex writes "The Jerk-o-Meter from MIT will analyze voice patterns of phone conversations and display a relative value of jerkiness factor on the scale of 0 to 100. For now, the Jerk-O-Meter is set up to monitor the user's end of the conversation. If his attention is straying, a message pops up on the phone that warns, 'Don't be a jerk!' or 'Be a little nicer now.' A score closer to 100 percent would prompt, 'Wow, you're a smooth talker.'"

29 of 235 comments (clear)

  1. Calling home by bigwavejas · · Score: 2, Funny
    "Hello, Grandma?"
    [pause]
    [pause]
    "Eh? Who's this?"
    Jerk-o-Meter: "Don't be a jerk!"
    [pause]
    Click!

    or...

    "Hello, Mom?"
    "Hi Honey, how've you been... Let me tell you about the potato salad I made yesterday for the picnic, it was absolutely deli.."
    Jerk-o-Meter: "Wow, you're a smooth talker."
    [pause]
    "Smartass!"
    Click!

    --
    "Simplify, simplify, simplify!" Thoreau
    1. Re:Calling home by golgotha007 · · Score: 1, Funny



      ever been on Springer?

    2. Re:Calling home by bwintx · · Score: 3, Funny
      Of course, if the software only evaluates voice patterns, you'll just have to learn to say everything with an extraordinarily nice voice. That is, you can still say "you're an incompetent idiot", you just have to say it in the same tone you would normally use for "you're a really smart person".

      Yep. Just like talking to a cat.

      --
      Discussion System prefs link: http://slashdot.org/users.pl?op=editcomm
    3. Re:Calling home by tod_miller · · Score: 5, Funny

      Layman terms:

      Both sides of the brain compete to read a word:

      You try and 'read' the letters, and 'look at' the word. Which means many times the people see the words as shapes, not information.

      When writing, we always look back on what we type, even visually (when assembling words).

      The only pertinent parallel I can think of is when a hot chick in a shirt shirt skirt walks into the room, but is showing all her cleavage, and you mind fights itself, as your fovea centralis tries to split and focus all its cones on both her assets.

      Dyslexia is like that, and then having a pop quiz if you noted her name on her id badge.

      --
      #hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com
  2. How about a Jerk-O-Meter for Slashdot Trolls by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    P.S. First Post!

    1. Re:How about a Jerk-O-Meter for Slashdot Trolls by CHESTER+COPPERPOT · · Score: 4, Funny

      Jerk-o-meter is a synonym for moderator.

      ooooohhh burn!

  3. They already have this tech.. by speights_pride! · · Score: 4, Funny

    ..I mean I can just ring these special phone numbers and some nice lady on the end tells me "you're nice","You are big" .. there is also something she says about "jerking" ??

  4. Application? by FhnuZoag · · Score: 5, Funny

    Think of the usefulness of this thing in monitoring political speeches....

    1. Re:Application? by CheshireCatCO · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wouldn't that be like taking a hygrometer to the bottom of the ocean? You don't need it to tell you what's out there, and it seems like you'd just break the equipment with the overload.

  5. "Jerk-O-Meter" by tacarat · · Score: 1, Funny

    1-900-CALL-MIT

    'nuff said...

    --
    "Common sense will be the death of us all"
  6. as if working on the phone didn't suck enough by atarione · · Score: 4, Funny

    already.... having recently quit a call center job.

    it's bad enough as it is... clueless jerks calling in, monitoring of calls (subjective..monitoring by QA teams) Computer Monitoring... stupid conflicting targets (i.e. Help customers make sure everything they need is taken care or.... oh yeah but do it all within 4minutes..)

    now some stupid software could be sitting about telling me that i'm not freaking excited enough about it.

    god i quit not a momment to soon.... fuck it i say send all the call center jobs to India.

    --
    actually I am happy to see you, however that is in fact a banana in my pocket.
  7. What we REALLY need... by catdevnull · · Score: 5, Funny

    Forget that device, what we really need is Caller IQ!

    --

    I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...
  8. Ooops by thebroken · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh those kinds of jerks..oops... *puts away vasseline*

  9. Oh man by mcc · · Score: 5, Funny

    When you're getting advice in social graces from MIT... you know something's wrong

    BA-DUM CHING

    --
    Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
  10. Useful for people who can't make their own decisio by CosmeticLobotamy · · Score: 1, Funny

    However, the Jerk-O-Meter also could be set up to test the voice on the other end of the line. Then it could send the tester such reports as: "This person is acting like a jerk. Do you want to hang up?"

    "Sorry, I liked you a lot, but now that my phone tells me you're a jerk, I'm not gonna talk to you anymore."

  11. Re:Really now... by Randseed · · Score: 5, Funny
    And like, omg, this is so useless for females. I mean like, we are born with our very own Jerk-O-Meter's anyway!

    Without a doubt. That's how women manage to keep dating the biggest jerks they can find, and complain to their "nice guy friend" who "they don't think of in that way" because "he's so nice and understanding."

  12. Errrr.... by Jesus+IS+the+Devil · · Score: 1, Funny

    I would like to test it on all those phone sex operators I talk to... errr I mean female friends.

    --

    eTrade SUCKS
  13. I'll use this .... by Sicarii · · Score: 1, Funny

    the next time I talk to M$ customer support.

  14. I Need One Of These by The+Lost+Supertone · · Score: 1, Funny

    I need one of these permanently implanted into my sister...

    1. Re:I Need One Of These by mottie · · Score: 1, Funny

      so many things i could say...

  15. Whitehouse phone by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    THey could install one in the Whitehouse but what would be the point, it would always be going off.

  16. Obligatory by Linker3000 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Still no cure for cancer

    --
    AT&ROFLMAO
  17. Obligatory Simpsons Reference by zaguar · · Score: 3, Funny
    Nerd: I have invented the Sarcasm-O-Meter!

    Cartoon-Shop-Guy: A Sarcasm-O-Meter? Now that's useful.

    Sarcasm-O-Meter explodes

    Apologies to Matt Groening

    --
    "Sure there's porn and piracy on the Web but there's probably a downside too."
  18. Re:You are confused. Re:Application? by leuk_he · · Score: 1, Funny

    I am orry too. i ought to pell check my poting before preing ubmit.

  19. Re:Really now... by Dogtanian · · Score: 4, Funny

    The last thing we need is some random voice telling me to "Be nicer!".

    It'd be like having your mother in the background during every phone conversation.

    --
    "Slashdot - News and Chat Sites Deviant". (Click "homepage" link above for details).
  20. Product design by sankyuu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Imagine how the switch on the device would be labeled:

    Jerk - on
    Jerk - oh, nevermind...

    :-)

  21. Obligatory Futurama Reference by wootest · · Score: 1, Funny

    Lrrr (eating): Mmm, this jerked chicken is good! I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.

    Bender (shouting): It's used to it! WOOOOOO!

  22. Re:How about a dupe-o-meter by Aim+Here · · Score: 1, Funny

    It looks like you're badly in need of one yourself.

  23. Up Next... by Goo.cc · · Score: 1, Funny

    the Trollometer. It goes off when you claim BSD is dying or that Microsoft is a great company that has earned in current position in the world. Say something about Linux and you get to hear Stallman's voice tell you about how it should be called "GNU/Linux".

    Ahhh, technology.