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Reintroduce Megafauna to North America?
sneakers563 writes "A team of scientists is proposing reintroducing large mammals such as elephants, lions, cheetahs and wild horses to North America to replace populations lost 13,000 years ago. The scientists say that parks could be set up as breeding sanctuaries for species of large wild animals under threat in Africa and Asia, and that such ecological history parks could be major tourist attractions. 'Africa and parts of Asia are now the only places where megafauna are relatively intact, and the loss of many of these species within this century seems likely,' the team said."
Sounds like a zoo to me...
parks could be set up as breeding sanctuaries
vs
It's coming right for us! Quick Ned, shoot it
Has nobody seen Jurassic Park?!
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My vote is for Crawford, Texas.
The existing species haven't lost their ability to handle firearms, so megafauna have no chance.
...and he grinned, like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
No one is going to try to steal stuff from your house if it's protected by a guard panther.
I never spellcheck and I freely admit it. Save your karma for more worthwhile "lol erorrs" replies
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/08/17/wild.am erica.ap/index.html
The AP story ends with this memorable quote:
Donlan concedes that lions would be a tough sell to Americans.
"Lions eat people," he said. "There has to be a pretty serious attitude shift on how you view predators."
"Even for Slashdot, that was a very obscure reference!" - Anonymous Coward
Well I don't know about the lions, but you could ride an elephant to work. Just add some cup-holders and you have a nice SUE (Sport Utility Elephant).
"Fox is running one of those new reality shows at 8:00... Fast animals, slow children"
-everphilski-
I would say Los Angeles or Washington D.C.
Both are very far from any known civilisation.
If what you are reading sounds funny, or sarcastic, lame, or stupid
it is because it is supposed to be. just laugh
I know bush sees oil in everything, but this is a new level.
1) Obtain elephants.
2) Place elephants states with open oil wells(tar pits)
3) Twiddle thumbs as they fall in, and turn into oil.
4) Profit.
In post Patriot Act America, the library books scan you.
How many human deaths will occur due to maulings once this is implemented.
Not nearly enough to justify the inevitable media outrage, but hopefully enough to severely reduce the number of stupid people in the country.
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
I think it should be fine as long as they don't bring in any gigafauna.
;)
Am I the only person here who's never heard of "megafauna" before, and thinks it's a funny word?
If we're re-introducing extinct fauna to America, why don't we try re-introducing liberals?
As recently as the 1930s the liberal was found in great herds across the continent, even throughout Texas. This good-natured creature was sadly unable to adapt to defend itself against a new species of vicious and ruthless predator. Nowadays the liberal is all but extinct, surviving only in a few isolated colonies such as Berkeley, Cambridge and Austin.
GCHQ Quantum Insert installed. If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak
there's plenty of room for all god's creatures... right next to the mashed potatoes.
Especially considering how well they are managing the nature wildlife such as deer in my area (NJ). I can hardly wait until I have hordes of Elephants eating my garden.
The difference between Canada and the USA is that in Canada healthcare is a right and gun ownership is a privilege.
Good heavens, educated people a hundred years ago knew wolves were no threat to people. And Bergen Evans, writing in the middle of the last century, could not find a single authenticated case of a wolf attacking a human being in the wild.
However, I hope to Hell they don't introduce those wild boards you mentioned. The idea of Halliburton's execs, or Enron's, being allowed loose in the wild is truly frightening. Or did you mean savage roaming packs of 2 by 4s?
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
This would force the current inhabitants of Crawford to be forced from their native home though. They might end up invading other parts of our country...like DC.
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Funny how you failed to point out the reason:
As is often the case, the problem is simple -- though by no means necessarily easy to solve: control the pigs. What's really "funny" is that as the supposedly most intelligent species on the planet, humans actually create a problem (indirectly or not) then fail to address it. Let's hope that they can control pigs.
Sorry but I got to say it: the Tanzanians have made their beds, now they have to lion them.
"Where's my other sock?" - A. Einstein
They're bred for their skills in magic, you know.
Welcome to the United States of America, pop. 1.3 Million smart people.
Is this the same crew who was pushing for reanimation of that wooly mammoth a while back?
If these animals died out 13,000 years ago, doesn't the secular world view this as a mistake on the part of natural selection? Are we really going to second-guess that?
'Cause if we are, I'm gonna lobby for bigger guns and trample-insurance.
Ya know, there needs to be just one "idiot" packaged with all these overeducated intellectuals to put the brakes on now and then. Remember GM corn- how the scientists thought 200 yards was far enough away from natural corn to be safe....while forgetting that the typical native honeybee has a cruising range of over five miles?
Ya never see these people trying to reanimate the sabre-tooth tiger....wouldn't that be earnest, thoughtful re-instatement of missing species? Hey! Let's make a dragon!....
--- For a good time mail uce@ftc.gov
Crawford has already been invaded by some dumbass from New England. Why inflict more harm to the natives.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
Are we using the standard-gauge (.0011") or heavy-gauge tinfoil?
"The more corrupt the state, the more it legislates." - Tacitus
Christians and Lions, that's been done before.
but hopefully enough to severely reduce the number of stupid people in the country.
So basically you're planning on turning the Bible Belt into a wild animal sanctuary?
I'm down with that! 8)=
Dork.
Jurassic Park involves dinosaurs. This involves moving modern mammals, no doubt including large numbers of apes, to the U.S. in an era when Bush has decided to restart nuclear weapons research and countries like Iran would rather put up with the sanctions than be denied the one sure thing that stops the U.S. deciding you're evil and invading.
How could apes and nuclear war be bad? There's plenty of planet for everyone.
But there's still a risk of danger.
Procrastination -- because good things come to those who wait.
Mrs. Sheehan is from California, not New England.
"Just like rabbits in Australia -- but bigger! And carnivorous!"
It's alright! Calm down. Take a deep breath.
You're gonna be O.K.
There ya go.
Now set the remote down and turn off the TV. That's it.
Now for the hard part. Slowly press the power button on your computer and then poor yourself a tall glass of beer.
damaged by dogma
She did say they were considering getting some big cats. I don't know if she meant tigers or lions or what.
Maybe she just meant they were considering getting, you know, big cats.
We have such a place. We call it "Canada".
Yaz.
Every single time I get mod points, what's left always expires right before I find something good to use 'em on...
Well, I got jumped by a cougar today...
That actually happened to me a few weeks ago. It was my friends bachelor party, and I was just standing there with a Labatt's in my hand... and all of a sudden... BAM!
She made me breakfast in the morning.
Religion for nerds. Stuff that really matters
What really needs to happen is a reduction in human overpopulation, but I don't see that happening anytime soon either.
That's what introducing lions and tigers is for!
"Grab them by the pussy" -- President of the United States of America
I'd like to petafauna myself, but they keep running away.
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act!" -- George Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair)
Currently, that would help reduce the shrieking harpy and belligerent liberal population quite a bit.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
As you can see, they don't look anything alike.
A moot point. I bet they both taste like chicken...
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
I don't know. Feeding an elephant a full tank of gasoline doesn't allow him/her to walk very far at all.
Maybe they should move some of these elephants to Palestine, since the Israelis have built a 2-foot thick - 15-foot high wall around the place already.
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Hey, there are smart people here in the Bible Belt too!
(We're being held hostage -- help!)
"[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz
turning the Bible Belt into a wild animal sanctuary?
That would certianly be a step up from the current mushroom farm.
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Wait for the greenhouse to get worse.