Oracle To Buy Siebel

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Posted by Zonk on Monday September 12, 2005 @04:46AM from the busy-week dept.

jondaw writes "The BBC is reporting that "Software giant Oracle is buying US rival Siebel Systems in a deal worth $5.85bn (£3.2bn) in cash and stock...'In a single step, Oracle becomes the number one CRM [customer relationship management] applications company in the world,' said Oracle chief executive Larry Ellison.""

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yay dotcom bubble by Anonymous Coward · 2005-09-12 04:47 · Score: 5, Funny

Everybody's buying everybody again! Woo!

When do I get my office scooter?
In other news... by COBOL/MVS · 2005-09-12 04:50 · Score: 5, Funny

To compliment his German accent, Larry Ellison has also donned a monical and top hat and is now carrying a cane with a silver cobra head on it and was last seen wearing a black flowing cape. He was quoted as saying: "I'm just trying to look the part of evil genius now".

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GOBACK.
1. Re:In other news... by grammar+fascist · 2005-09-12 07:18 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  "To compliment his German accent,"
  
  Now where are the language lawyers of slashdot?
  
  I dunno - this might work. I can imagine Larry Ellison walking around saying, "Why, Accent, you sure are a thick Germanic thing!" and then "Danke! Ich ben einer burly!"
  
  He's weird enough.
  
  --
  I got my Linux laptop at System76.
Monopoly A Game Of Life w/ Shoots and Ladders by Cylix · 2005-09-12 04:53 · Score: 4, Funny

Sure, our product hasn't been that good, but don't worry in no time at all you won't have any choice. We've been fattening our wallets to make sure you don't have any complicated decisions ahead of you.

Why is this a trend I continue to see in Oracle?

I'll probably get flamed by the Oracle is holier then thou crowd, but that's life.

Where did I leave my ladders at...

--
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
Decision Made Simple by CSHARP123 · 2005-09-12 04:59 · Score: 5, Funny

We made decision making process easier for you. You either buy oracle or you buy oracle.
Oh dear by gunpowda · 2005-09-12 05:08 · Score: 3, Funny

Is anyone else struck by the suggestiveness of the extended metaphor on this other news site reporting on the story?
"Siebel has needed to be picked up for some time. There are other suitors that would probably have made better sense, but it seems that Oracle is going for the number one slot no matter what the cost and aiming to become the only boy on the CRM block..."
Ellison by SuperBanana · 2005-09-12 05:10 · Score: 4, Funny

In a single step, Oracle becomes the number one CRM [customer relationship management] applications company in the world,' said Oracle chief executive Larry Ellison."
..."then Oracle Chief Executive Ellison brandished his katana and with a scream, cut the CEO of Siebel in half"

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Please help metamoderate.
1. Re:Ellison by KingEomer · 2005-09-12 05:59 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Now the question is: Would Steve Ballmer, with his Executive Chair, beat the katana-wielding Larry Ellison?
So? by canfirman · 2005-09-12 05:14 · Score: 2, Funny

I'll be impressed when Oracle comes out with an announcement that it's buying MicroSoft.
Then I'll be impressed.

--
It is not our abilities that show what we truly are... it is our choices.
1. Re:So? by WillAffleckUW · 2005-09-12 06:03 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I'll be impressed when Oracle comes out with an announcement that it's buying MicroSoft.
  
  Won't happen. Larry's too interested in winning the World's Cup in yatching for that to happen.
  
  Besides, it rains too much up here.
  
  --
  -- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
Another dotcom bubble? by RealisticCanadian · 2005-09-12 05:17 · Score: 2, Funny

Should I start hoarding supplies for the next crash?

Hmmm... welcome to Slashzonk; all Zonk all the time. (What, 13 articles in a row? and no screwups? they musta upped his caffeine dosage) 8^p

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A couple fans told me that my last journal entry was mint; give it a shot. Hope you like.
Re:Acquisitions by $RANDOMLUSER · 2005-09-12 05:18 · Score: 2, Funny

Same thing we do every night Pinky, plan to take over the world!

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No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
Re:Oracle buys Siebel - visualizing the buzz by Anonymous Coward · 2005-09-12 05:29 · Score: 1, Funny

Try "bored AND at work." That's quite popular among blogs.
Re:i don't understand by $RANDOMLUSER · 2005-09-12 05:29 · Score: 4, Funny

Siebel sells best-of-breed soutions to snyergysticly leverage your existing best-practices methedologies into world-class feature-rich infrastructure enhancements with significantly accelerated ROI.
Or somethng like that.

--
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
Re:i don't understand by tekboy25 · 2005-09-12 05:55 · Score: 2, Funny

eHas eAnyone eEver eRead eSiebel eSales eLiterature?
Re:Siebel problems by ducttapekz · 2005-09-12 09:01 · Score: 2, Funny

Oracle has Tars, the most evil, tedious thing ever. It makes it take at least a half an hour to ask any question or to report a Mission Critical error. They also have meta-link which has the worst search engine known to man. Other than that, there support is great.