Slashdot Mirror
EU Claims Internet Could Fall Apart Next Month
freaktheclown writes "The battle for the control of the Internet could hit a climax next month, with the EU saying that it could 'fall apart.' From the article: 'The European commission is warning that if a deal cannot be reached at a meeting in Tunisia next month the Internet will split apart. At issue is the role of the US government in overseeing the Internet's address structure, called the domain name system (DNS), which enables communication between the world's computers. It is managed by the California-based, not-for-profit Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) under contract to the US Department of Commerce.'"
Icann, and you can't.
The NSA: The only part of the US government that actually listens.
Only $14.99 on Pay-Per-View. Check your local listings for details.
"Rocky Rococo, at your cervix!"
But... what will all the Slashdotters do with their time? Surely you can't expect us all to... *gulp* leave our computers?
...a whole new definition to the term "netslpit"...
There will be Internets after all.
OddManIn: A Game of guns and game theory.
After all, he invented the Internet, I'll bet that he can keep it working!
They will usher the bureaucrats out to the gallows and the hole problem will be solved.
:-)
I assume by this you mean filling said holes with bureaucrats after they are finished with Project Gallows.
Happily, this may also reduce required funds for road maintenience so it's really a win-win.
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
Because they US can't be trusted not to destroy it.....
I assume that it's mostly the French govt. pushing this. Perhaps they could develop their own alternative to the Internet. It could be run by the French telecom which could use telecom infrastructure and distribute some kind of network appliance to all of their customers. Oh, wait ...
[Insert pithy quote here]
Wonder how it has held up all of these years.
Isn't it obvious? European governments weren't involved in designing or running it. Is it a coincidence that as soon as they decide to inject themselves into the situation that now the net is going to "fall apart"? I don't think so.
It's like when you buy that new DVD player, and only allow the adults in your house to use it. It works fine, right? But as soon as you let your five year old kid near it, all of a sudden it's clogged up with peanut butter. This is no different.
> The find the server and seize it according to the law. If it is
> overseas, they work with the local government.
And if friendly working with the local government doesn't work out, then the CIA goes in full-barrel and sets things right.
I can't wait for that episode of Alias, Ms. Garner going in to add the URLs of American businesses back into the DNS servers of EU so we can send emails back and forth to our friends again, do business again, and of course use the overseas download mirrors for linux distros.
If it means spammers in China, Russia, or anywhere else US anti-spam laws don't apply are using a separate Internet than the US then why wait a whole month? Let's split the Internet now.
Erik http://yakko.cs.wmich.edu/~rattles
Six month's since the Internet fragmented into a thousand separate networks, companies across the globe report an astounding 600% increase in productivity on average. Said one spokeperson, "Not only have computer virus infections fallen to an all time low, we're saving over 98% of our bandwidth costs. Plus, we have so much budget left over each month from our IT operations, we're rolling out a profit sharing plan to all our employees." Numerous businesses report skyrocketing demand. For example, print media said they've seen an explosion in demand for magazines. Of course, all is not good news. Some technology companies have reported a drastic drop in demand for many of their products. "We are having a real tough quarter," said one Symantec sales manager, on condition of anonymity. Cisco also reported much less demand for it's high end networking boxes. "We can't give 'em away. I've never seen anything like it."
The NSA: The only part of the US government that actually listens.
For future Europeans who might be reading these comments on a mirror or cache, you can get to Slashdot at one of the following addresses:
http://66.35.250.150/
http://66.35.250.151/
Good. No more Russian spam clogging my inbox.
No more korean "I love you" virius's taking down US systems.
No more Chinese WOW SUPER-PLAYERS online 24/7.
No more Alkaida using the internet to coordinate terrorism.
and BEST of all, all CS/IT jobs going offshore (Tech support by some Indian Dude) will be forced to come back to the states because they can't access the US corp servers for customer support info.
WOO HOO!
*hello, mai nam es i-keed, ann I wan you to know I amm joken.*
Sounds like they are f'in themselves, while WE reap the benefits.
Let the lame leg cut itself off! No more Gout!
Rule #1 -- Politics always trumps technology.
Al Gore gave us the Internet...and he can just as easily take it away.
Don't taunt the Gore.
"Leo Fender was in a 'state of grace' when he designed the Stratocaster." -- Paul Reed Smith
Eternal Battle for the Domination of the Internet begins.
.com domain.
Random target selection: the
Value: one billion, eight hundred seventy million dollars.
Play.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Meh, I don't care if they break the internet. I already have several copies of it on CD kindly provided by AOL.
I've often wanted to send a Nigerian an email that goes a little something like this:
Hello Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you in request for some assistance. My name is John Smith and I work for the US Treasury Department as a Foreign Aid Director. A few years ago there was a government plan to hold aside some money to help poorer nations in Africa, particularly Nigeria. Over the years, this fund has grown to nearly $300 Million US dollars. Unfortunately the money cannot be released due to bureaucratic red tape. It seems in order to release the money, a release tax must be paid to the US taxpayers.
The reason I come to you is that the man in charge of this fund Mike Hunt has recently died, and this account has come under my control. It is to the best of my knowledge that no one else knows about this money. All I ask is that you help me with the release tax and act as the Nigerian Foreign Aid representative. Of the $300 Million US Dollars, you will receive 25% for your assistance.
Please contact me as soon as you can, as I am worried the accountants are getting close to finding this money. If you cannot help, please forward this request to your friends.
Sincerely yours,
John Smith
Live forever, or die trying.
To stem any argument that I am doing this out of pure selfish models or that "if it isn't broke, don't fix it", I am doing this for the children. And the children's children - all the way to infinity. So while everyone else wants to get control for material reasons, I am doing it for the children. I am THINKING about the children.
So please everyone, be the first to welcome me as your new internets owning, children remembering, overlord.
Did I mention when I control the internets EVERYONEs posts will be 'first posts?
I don't understand this comment. Do you mean that there are places where people don't have credit cards? How do you pay for the gasoline for your SUVs?
I value my right to call you a nigger.
...opening your web browser will result in seeing this message:
The internet is over.
Thank you for playing.
A winner has been declared! Congratulations to:
The Star Wars Kid
You must remember, we don't assume that everyone has a credit card. We assume that every poor sap that believes everything he reads in a spam email has a credit card.
Video Production Support
This could be the best thing that happened to the internet. With no more Eurotrash suggesting how inferior the American government is and practicing their english skills by denouncing George Bush on random forums, we'll have that much more time to spend inventing things for Europeans to liberalize. It's a win win situation!
I Browse at +4 Flamebait
Open Source Sysadmin
And you can.... just as soon as we annex whatever country it is you live in.
Of course it's bad form: she got caught. If she had gotten away with it, it would be business as usual.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice, however, there is.