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New Gravity Theory Dispenses with Dark Matter

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the making-quantum-theorists-happy dept.

Darkness Matters writes "According to New Scientist, a theory of modified gravity, which has no need of dark matter, has just explained why the Pioneer 10 probe is 400,000 miles off its expected course as it leaves the solar system. It sounds pretty convincing, although in dispensing with dark matter, they've had to utilize the theoretical particle, called a graviton, which appears from the vacuum of space wherever stars are densely packed, making gravity stronger."

15 of 442 comments (clear)

  1. Vast improvement by Lonesome+Squash · · Score: 5, Funny
    So we finally get rid of this ad-hoc and hypothetical construct by replacing it with... oh.

    "See I told you guys it wasn't flying monkeys! Turns out it's flying Unicorns!"

    --
    Behold the riant ape! Beware, his crooked thumbs!
    1. Re:Vast improvement by SlashSquatch · · Score: 3, Funny
      ad-hoc and hypothetical construct

      Your language is giving it too much credibility.

      ...flying monkeys...

      Ahh, that's better. I move that the name "Dark Matter" be forever changed to "Government Funded Flying Space Monkeys from Beyond the Moon."

      --
      Autonomous Retard -- Is your camp safe? UnsafeCamp.com
    2. Re:Vast improvement by Carewolf · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yes it is amazing to see anti-scientist attack evolution when we know the theory of gravity is the weakest theory of all. Almost seems they are afraid to say they don't beleive in gravity :D

      Seriously for all we know planets could still be held together in the solor system by invisible angels in invisible golden chariots.

  2. so... by Albert+Sandberg · · Score: 3, Funny

    you're telling me dark matter doesn't matter?

    1. Re:so... by massivefoot · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think it's fair to say that the matter of whether or not dark matter really matters is a matter of some gravity... :P

  3. at first I saw... by holySherm · · Score: 4, Funny

    GRAVITRON! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitron Damn that was a horrible ride.

  4. My invisible friend by blowdart · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know as a child I made up invisible things to blame and was told that was a bad thing to do. Only now I find out I was really a budding scientist...

    1. Re:My invisible friend by meringuoid · · Score: 4, Funny
      You know as a child I made up invisible things to blame and was told that was a bad thing to do. Only now I find out I was really a budding scientist...

      I suspect your invisible things weren't of the 'no, really, hang around and watch, you'll see, it's about to do it again!' kind. More of the 'uh... well, it went away when you came in. It's only around when you're not looking. And it knocks things over when I'm the only one in the room' variety, if you were a kid making excuses.

      That, I think, makes you a budding theologian :)

      --
      Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
  5. Sure, it's off course by darthservo · · Score: 5, Funny
    If you get Gravitrons spinning fast enough, you can unpredictably launch things anywhere, especially smaller objects such as probes or children.

    Oh...graviton.

    --

    Prove it.

  6. Dark Matter Is Chuck Norris by Himring · · Score: 5, Funny

    Scientists have actually calculated that Dark Matter is, in actuality, Chuck Norris. He recently flew to the west coast, and this threw off the Pioneer 10 probe by 400,000 miles.

    Scientists have also not yet revealed the real reason behind the ban on human cloning. The real reason human cloning is outlawed is because scientists fear Chuck Norris being cloned. They theorize that two simultaneous Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks could possibly destroy the universe....

    --
    "All great things are simple & expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." --Churchill
  7. Nibbler by rharder · · Score: 5, Funny

    If there's no dark matter, what's that stuff coming out of Nibbler?

  8. Re:de rigueur by maxwell+demon · · Score: 5, Funny
    Why not flying spaghetti monsters?

    Because that's the noodle-string theory.
    --
    The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  9. Re:Gravitons?! by Intron · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... and then there's the crouton, which mediates salads.

    --
    Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
  10. Yoda knows about Dark Matter by digitaldc · · Score: 3, Funny


    From Wikipedia:
    Detecting a graviton, if it exists, would prove rather problematic. Because the gravitational force is so incredibly weak, as of today, physicists are not even able to directly verify the existence of gravitational waves, as predicted by general relativity.

    Yoda: Hard to see, the dark side is.

    --
    He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
  11. Re:Gravitons are not a new concept by CagedBear · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sure, they can pass through Earth, but I'll be really impressed when they can pass through New Jersey without paying a toll.