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PTO Requests Working Model of Warp Drive

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the i'm-patenting-all-i-got-captain dept.

aborchers writes "According to Patently-O: Patent Law Blog, the PTO has requested a working model of a Warp Drive for which a patent was recently applied. From the article, "Among other rejections, the Examiner has asserted a rejection under 35 U.S.C. 101 for lack of utility -- finding that the invention is inoperable." At least one examiner is paying attention!"

34 of 277 comments (clear)

  1. Wont they be suprised... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    If they actually turn something in..

    1. Re:Wont they be suprised... by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 5, Funny

      If they actually turn something in..

      Then I wouldn't be surprised if the inventor begins with "Greetings, hoomans!"

    2. Re:Wont they be suprised... by skoaldipper · · Score: 2, Funny
      > If they actually turn something in...

      or if the PTO dusts off some shelf and discovers this patent was actually granted to Worsley and Twist back in 1836 as well.

      --
      I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
    3. Re:Wont they be suprised... by WWWWolf · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Hello, Hunam! What would you like to threaten me about today?" =)

  2. About darn time they paid attention. by AltGrendel · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now I've got some time to finish mine.

    --
    The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination

    - Douglas Adams

    1. Re:About darn time they paid attention. by linj · · Score: 2, Funny

      You're a bit behind, aren't you.
      MacGyver built his already on episode 842, out of monkey blood and a half sprig of mint!

    2. Re:About darn time they paid attention. by skoaldipper · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, I remember that show. I have all the seasons on DVD with the director's cut and interviews. The funny thing is, in 842 they originally had MacGyver using an old snake skin and banana peel instead, but for some strange reason, all the working prototypes in rehersal kept transporting the MacGyver crew on location to the Quantum Leap studios instead.

      --
      I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
    3. Re:About darn time they paid attention. by Foo2rama · · Score: 5, Funny

      I thought he ended up in some warped reality, fighting Egyptian gods...

      --


      ---In a time of Chimpanzees I was a Monkey.
  3. I have a working model. by kote-men-do · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have a working model, but unfortunately it's stranded a couple of galaxies away. I can give you directions though, would that suffice?

    1. Re:I have a working model. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Are you sure it's working?

    2. Re:I have a working model. by IdleTime · · Score: 1, Funny

      Ahhh... The wonders of the English Language.

      I believe you meant to say "I HAD a working model...". Because if you HAVE a working model it can't be stranded in a different galaxy, but the one you had, before it became stranded......

      --
      If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
  4. An example of a good patent by MarkByers · · Score: 2, Funny

    This would be an example of a useful patent, if only it were true.

    --
    I'll probably be modded down for this...
  5. My rights online by Musteval · · Score: 4, Funny

    Thank you for this useful insight into my online rights. Keep up the good work, slashdot! :)

    --
    Note to mods: I'm probably being sarcastic.
  6. Re:j public requests release from corepirate nazis by JustNiz · · Score: 4, Funny

    spelling:0 composition:0 see me.

  7. So this is how he makes his $$$ by JoeGee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Warp engine designer: it's nice to see the time cube guy has a day job.

    --

    Get off my virtual lawn, you damned virtual kids!
  8. Legal Action by turtleAJ · · Score: 5, Funny


    Hello Earthlings,

    I'd like to inform you, that ony of my many clients has in posession the MWOCPT titles to all kinds of warp drives. I think that if you where to see the patent, you'd understand we've got everything covered. Obviously, you (Earth) haven't developed gravity control yet... so, because of evolutionary "process" clauses in the Federation, we can't show you the patent. Besides... it's a 18.65TB PDF.

    It's quite obvious that all your human efforts will fail, until you attaint a little bit of element 115. I'll leave you with that. Just so you know, the Orion Confederation doesn't take lightly to violations of Intellectual Property.

    Thank you very much for your attention, and I hope this doesn't repeat itself,

    -Stitch
    Presently @ MilkyWay.Sol.3 (aka, Planet Earth)

    BTW: If you want to survive the next galactical gravity fabric quake, we suggest you hurry up your nanotechnology advances...

    1. Re:Legal Action by jimm · · Score: 5, Funny

      This has to be a fake. The email address should end with @3.Sol.MilkyWay, not @MilkyWay.Sol.3.

      --
      Transcript show: self sigs atRandom.
  9. Proposal by m33p · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dear Friend, I am Mr Andrew Peter Worsley and I have an important business proposition for you. On December 12th, 2001, while testing my Warp Drive (patent pending) transport, the ship was stranded in Galaxy N37 due to technical difficulties. The patent office is now demanding that I show it to them before they will approve my patent. But unfortunately, I spent my last penny developing the prototype! As you can see, this patent would be very valuable, and recovering my ship would be a good business investment. I am currently lookinging for investors to gather the $35,273,000 needed to recover the ship. etc, etc, etc... Awaiting your urgent reply. Thanks and regards.

    1. Re:Proposal by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fortunately I just got some emails from some very nice people in Africa that have a large sum of money they are willing to split with me. Maybe I should hook them up.

  10. Add your punchline here. by kitzilla · · Score: 1, Funny
    Let's get started, shall we? Warped time is a-wasting:

    1. It should be no problem building a working prototype of this thing -- once they find a supply of dilithium crystals.

    2. Cap'n, she canna work in her current condition. Impulse is the best I can give ya!

    3. ?time warp engines these mean you do What

    Take it away ...

    --
    This is my post. There are many others like it. If you don't like what you read here, go try one of the others.
    1. Re:Add your punchline here. by adric · · Score: 2, Funny

      Due to budget cuts, we're forced to replace the dilithium with Folgers crystals!

      --
      not plane, nor bird, nor even frog...
  11. Solution by hool5400 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just call it a software warp drive, or even just include the word software somewhere in the application. Just watch the bastard fly throught the application process.

    --

    Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a sniper rifle.
  12. I like the part in the technical example by HotNeedleOfInquiry · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where you rotate a superconductive sphere 1 meter in diameter 1,500,000 rpm. That'll work.

    --
    "Eve of Destruction", it's not just for old hippies anymore...
    1. Re:I like the part in the technical example by B3ryllium · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, it's far worse than that.

      The only thing that could possibly power it is ... antimatter hamsters.

    2. Re:I like the part in the technical example by sasdrtx · · Score: 3, Funny

      Contrary to conventional wisdom, all 1m diameter spheres have the same diameter.

      --
      Most people don't even think inside the box.
  13. I bet that by g0bshiTe · · Score: 4, Funny

    that clerk is a /. reader.

    --
    I am Bennett Haselton! I am Bennett Haselton!
  14. Even if presented with a working model... by bsandersen · · Score: 2, Funny

    Based on my experience with the Patent Office, even if they were presented with a working model it would still take them four years to process it.

    -- Scott

  15. Whoaaaa by Joffy · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Phantom of the Opera wants a warp drive?

  16. Re:Too bad... by SEWilco · · Score: 3, Funny
    "How do you store a working model of a neuclear reactor?"

    Inside the working models of radiation shielding.

  17. Re:j public requests release from corepirate nazis by Bazzalisk · · Score: 4, Funny

    What's that skip? Timmy's trapped down the well?

    --
    James P. Barrett
  18. Re:Actually let them patent it now by Isotopian · · Score: 2, Funny

    If someone builds a warp drive out of the blue, I predict the first major space station built using it will be called the NEO-PO. For Near Earth Orbit Patent Office.

    --

    It's poetry with a beat behind it! And guns! They're like beatniks with automatic weapons.

  19. Re:Dumb question by Bombula · · Score: 3, Funny
    Um...I don't know many products that take 100 years to take to market.

    Well, I was thinking this guy's warp drive, for one.

    --
    A-Bomb
  20. Re:Proposal - THIS IS A FAKE!!!!! by atrocious+cowpat · · Score: 2, Funny


    "Dear Friend, I am Mr Andrew Peter Worsley and I have an important business proposition for you. [...]"

    THIS IS AN OBVIOUS FAKE!!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS, THAT ANY SERIOUS BUSINESS PROPOSAL WOULD BE IN CAPITAL LETTERS (and if weren't for that darn Slashdot-"Lameness-Filter" this joke could actually have worked the way I intended it),

    YOURS FAITHFULLY,
    DR. CLEMENT OKON
    (CURRENTLY USING THE SLASHDOT ACCOUNT OF MY GOOD FRIEND ATROCIOUS COWPAT)

    --
    sig? Oh, that sig...
  21. Dupes by Bob_Villa · · Score: 2, Funny

    You forgot about dupes of course! We'll end up with duplicate patents using your method.