Slashdot Mirror
SCO to Unix developers, We want you back
NoGuffCheck writes "CRN is reporting that Darl McBride is looking to get Unix developers back onboard with cash incentives for completing training in SCO's new mobile application kit; EdgeBuilder. It doesn't stop there; there's a 12-cylinder BMW or $100,000 dollars for the development of the best wireless application."
* All developers are required to pay their $699 SCO licensing fees at the door.
BWA HA HAHA
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
"developer, developers, developers..."
use the Ballmer mantra, Darl. you have to sweat like a pig to convince your audience...
I don't feel like it...
CLICK HERE and win a FREE IPOD!!!!!!!!111
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
You can almost buy the company with that nowadays can't you?
Bite me!
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
A pox on any and all who would sign on to duh-arl's 2-bit shakedown fart of a company.
Go fuck yourself.
...and then give most of the money to the FOSS community. In fact, why not use that community to fund itself using this bounty?
-Tim Louden
Quick, everyone send them the programer you hate working with most .... this should improve morale appropriately for most companies out there
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
You need more cylinders to pull the extra dead weight
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
Will pay $200,000 or give the car of your choice, so long as it doesn't exceed $200,000, for someone to give the CEO of SCO a good stiff kick to the nuts.
"Snatching defeat from the mouth of victory on a daily basis."
You gotta give 'em credit. It looks like SCO is finally trying to produce something more substantial than subpoenas.
Gifts for Geeks - Stuff that really matters!
Those darn CRN folks, always leaving parts of the quotes out. Here's a reprint, I put Darl's original comments missing from the report in '[]'.
/dev/null.
"During the last 25 years, SCO has been committed to [destroying the reputability of] the Unix platform and continues to reaffirm its commitment [to make fools of ourselves while the rest of the world actually accomplishes something useful]," Darl McBride, SCO president, said in a teleconference Tuesday morning.
I applaud him for finally admitting what his company has been doing. Of course, he can shove his BMWs up his
There's a 68.71% chance you're right.
The winner of the bmw may notice that no matter how many times he washes it... it just won't come clean.
I was kinda hoping they'd offer SCO Linux Licenses as the top prize. On the other hand, with $100K, you can buy 143 of them, at $699.00 each!!!
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
I was almost intrigued enough to head over to SCO's site just to see what "biztones" are, but then I realized I don't have all afternoon to scrub my browser clean.
SCO should make a reality show. A reality show about a company going to the ruin. Then we could get people to call in (1-900 number of course) to decide who they are going to sue next. I'm sure it'll be a hit. In fact, I'm of to the patent office right now. That's about the only way I see them making any money.
please excuse my apathy
instead of ringing it goes, "Yeah, um, about those TPS reports..."?
You did get the memo, right?
hmmm any others?
"Waste not one watt!" - CZ
Well, you could pick up chicks with a car like that.
Oh, wait this is Slashdot...
WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
First prize... is a 12 cylinder BMW
Second prize... is a hundred thousand dollars
Third prize... we steal your code
ABC
A Always
B Be
C Coding!
It's a pity...I actually like their product. Time to give postgres a gander I suppose.
Voting with your wallet, eh?
Remember, You are unique...just like everyone else.
I would like to hereby announce that I am porting my baby, NetworkManager, to SCO in order to reap the $100,000 offer. We will easily make "best wireless application."
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Thank you! I'm here all week! Tip your waitress! Help her back up!
The Independent: Reverend Spooner Arrested in Friar Tuck Incident - ISIHAC, Historical Headlines
So where do you ranting SCO shill zombies hang out?
Yeah, but SCO doesn't need any of that stuff...
I on the other hand would propose to ram a wireless, internet-controlled
"seven foot asbestos filled, napalm coated broken Galiano bottle covered with sandpaper, spikes, barbs, hooks, old rusty razor blades, used syringes, electrically charged copper coils, anonymous pubic hair, and curare that's playing Amazing Grace like a barbershop quartet with feelin' and Boston Pops' orchestral accompanyment using the Vienna Boys Choir to keep time, so the bunch of line backers ramming it in and playing with the dials, buttons, keyes, joy stick, knobs, mouse and conducting baton that all adjusts the intensity, depth, rate, length and HARDNESS can push in proper rhythm while moving through a temporal loop putting it all through eternity, then back to the beginning to start again
up Darrel McBride's ass, and also the respective asses of all the executive assholes at SCO-- and their lawyers-- TWICE... with FEELING
(** credits to "elbows" mailing list many CPU cycles ago...)
Me, I'd worry that they'd hand you a cashier's check for $2,000,000 and ask you to send the change back to their new corporate office in Lagos.
Strike while the irony is hot! -- The Freethinker
It is more like the Seinfeld episode The Smelly Car
"The strong body odor of a valet is left in Jerry's car. Jerry is forced to try to sell the car, because the odor has taken a life of its own and permeated everything. George is turned by Susan's new outlook on life. Susan's friend is swayed to heterosexuality by Kramer, though later turned back off by a whiff of a jacket that Kramer borrowed from Jerry. When the car can't be sold, Jerry winds up leaving it and the keys out on the street."
IIRC, it was a BMW.
two re-hired SCO developers telnet to the SCO server after a night in the basement.
/bin/wall to echo your chat to all the terminals.
arroot: so...
SCOdev: what?
arroot: how 'bout scheduling a grep job to see if there is any SCO IP in Linux?
SCOdev: are you crazy? what if the server is logging and the resource throttle triggers an alarm to the CEO?
arroot: but I love you so much.
SCOdev: it's too risky.
arroot: pleeeeease?
*login*
IBMdev: SEC said it's "ok" to give the AIX repository a grep job, or SEC will come down to perform a grep job, or I can do it. But for Gates' sakes don't use
I am the nightmare of nightmares.
I still have SCO on 5 1/4" disks. Now if I can only find my 5 1/4" drive...
Sounds great. One thing though: we're going to need to fire Darl McBride and replace him with Ozzy Ozborne. And Hulk Hogan will be the CFO ... do you think we could get Paris Hilton as head of HR?
Actually, we'd better be careful; the company might not go into the ground as quickly that way.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
Maybe my mom should sign up: she's not likely to write any code SCO would want (or any code at all, for that matter), and she can sleep through most things.
After legal fees, will SCO have enough money to buy a 4 cylinder BMW?
Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.