Slashdot Mirror
10th Annual Wacky Warning Labels Out
autophile writes "It's official: M-Law's 10th Annual Wacky Warning Label Contest is over. First prize has gone to a washing machine label urging not to put people in washers. Started to promote awareness of excessive litigation, the contest highlights common sense warning labels, such as the one that warns not to dry cellphones in microwave ovens. Companies find it necessary to stick crazy warnings on their products because of previous insane lawsuits: 'A front loader (washing machine) is just at the right height — speaking now as a mother and not a corporate spokeswoman — for a four-year-old,' said Patti Andresen Shew of Alliance Laundry Systems. Personally, I think a four-year-old precocious enough to read and understand all the warning labels hidden all over a product probably doesn't need those labels."
The labels are pretty rediculous but they are for the parents not the kids. Nobody thinks a 4 year old is going to read the labels and to make it sounds like thats what the company thinks is going to happen is silly. You don't need to be deceptive to make your point that the label to not put people in the washer is silly.
unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep
Although a few libertarian Slashdotters seem to want Social Darwinism.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
Slashdot: Remove Intellect Before Posting
Oblig. bash.org quote:
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
My first bike (a ten year old Honda CM400T) had the warning, prominently placed on the tank, not to engage the steering lock while you're riding it.
The steering lock itself was located to the left and below the trunk bundle of wires going to the front panel and instrumentation, and needed the key that presumably is in the ignition (or you would not be driving it) or the backup key. Fair enough.
But the steering lock would only engage when the front wheel was engaged fully in one direction or the other. Which was a seriously tight turning radius. If you are able to actually keep your balance and keep the bike moving while gong full tilt to the right, and at the same time find and push-twist the key sitting under a bundle of cables below your line of sight and to the left then you do not need a warning label - you need a contract to perform at a motor circus, as you have just found your true calling.
Trust the Computer. The Computer is your friend.
stupid people + clever lawyers = trouble
Should there be warning labels? Of course.
Should there be warning labels as a replacement for a basic level of education? Of course not.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is usually crucified.
The law generally is that the company must warn against unintended uses that a reasonable person would forsee. The problem is the reasonable person standard is determined by a jury. If juries would stop awarding such verdicts, then lawyers would stop suing. As long as juries continue to say a reasonable person would forsee someone putting a wet cell phone in a microwave, lawyers will continue to file suit. Talking to one juror about a malpractice case, they said they really didn't see that the doctor was negligent, but the plaintiff was suffering, the insurance was the only one who was going to pay, the insurance company had money, so why not give the plaintiff $400,000? The thing they didn't see (other than their conduct being against the law) was that everyone pays increased medical costs to cover the increase in malpractice insurance that the doctor must pay. If jurors were more responsible and more intelligent as to the consequences of their actions, the legal culture would have to change. Don't expect the lawyers to change the system, they have too much of a vested interest, and they are legally bound to look after their client's best interests within the law. People need to change the system.
http://bgcommonsense.blogspot.com
About twenty years ago, I bought an electric pencil sharpener for my office. It came with a set of safety warnings, prominently including "Do not attempt to sharpen ball-point pens." My thought at the time was that someone stupid enough to do that most likely had a problem that wasn't going to be solved by reading warning labels.
Not all cat litter is safe for all animals.
http://rabbit.org/faq/sections/litter.html
Good Luck!
"We don't know what we are doing, but we are doing it very carefully,..." Wherry, R.J. Personnel Psychology (1995)
Before you think how these warning labels - such as "Do not use iron on clothes you are wearing", a couple of years ago, a Slashdotter admitted to have burned himself while ironing the shirt he was wearing.
My favorite warning label is on a set of fairy lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
Yes, that is a rehtorical question because if you read /. you know why.
The real question is, how would an average person know? Most look like they are made of plastic which is of course microwave safe. If you've immersed your phone, drying it out with heat can fix it. (I know, I baked a friend phone in my oven at 150 degrees to bring it back to life.)
So no, I don't think we need labels, there are so many they aren't read anyhow.
How can we make it obvious that this is a bad idea? Or better yet, how can we make it possible that no damage will occur to either device then this happens?
This is one of the challenges that engineers face. How do you make your products work well, be bulletproof, be easy to use, do what the customer needs doing, and yet not cost a fortune.
Many crowbars today are printed with the warning label: "Do not use to pry."
Does that mean we're only supposed to use them for their other intended purpose, to beat?
Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
The Beagle Bros. diskette labels
An under-evolved hairless ape recently put an infant in the clothes dryer in Sydney because he thought it would be fun for the child. It may have been for the few seconds before the 3rd degree burns started developing. This kind of cretin is the reason for this kind of warning.
!sig
s/lower priced/dangerous/
That's how. Think asbestos and tobacco being sold as recommended by doctors. (Yes, that second one really happened--there used to be cigarette commercials saying "4 out of 5 doctors recommend [brand] cigarettes")
I guess you want anybody who doesn't research every single fucking product they buy for seven years to die.
Please, for the good of Humanity, vote Obama.
The do not iron warning on the lottery ticket makes a lot of sense. How many people (outside of computer geeks) really know that most lottery tickets are printed on thermal paper? Get that warm and all of a sudden you have a black ticket that's pretty much ruined. Combine that with the fact that some people like to iron their crumpled up money and I can totally see how some people might need this warning.
This isn't your usual warning label on a pair of jeans.
Open Source Time and Attendance, Job Costing a
It looks like to me that the lottery ticket is printed on thermal transfer paper- in which case ironing it would turn the side with the number on it completely black. That one makes the most sense to me- I could almost see someone trying to iron out a crumpled ticket.
I'm glad you brought up the hot coffee suit. I have something you'll need to agree to. A plaintiff sued McDonald's for selling him a milkshake, which he placed between his legs while driving (sound familiar?) Because of this, he temporarialy lost his ability to drive (so he testifies) and crashed his car, causing injuries and costs to the plaintiff. Now, he never won the case, but it seems to me anyone who is in beleif of hot coffee lady needs to write that judge RIGHT NOW and explain their absolute disappointment with him for not awarding several million dollars to the plaintiff for his injuries.
After all, the situation is identical to hot coffee lady, except this time the drink is too cold.
Hardly. The plaintiff was not driving, nor was the car moving when she got burned. She held the cup between her legs and was opening it to put in sweetener when it spilled.
McDonald's had reports of injuries before this event; they even knew it was being served too hot to be consumed. McD's refuised to settle, and eventually lost to the tune of $500,000 - then they settled.
This case is not, despite the FUD, a stellar example of lawsuit abuse; rather it highlights what the court system should do - hold people accountable on both sides. (The award was reduced 20% due to the plaintiffs actions being viewed as partly responsible)
I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
what was it that I bought??
You bought a cheap bike for an activity that would need good, heavy-duty gear (i.e., not cheap)
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
...but it is the funniest one ever.
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
Parent has a good point.
The most extreme example I've seen is a box of Q-tips. So far, most of the labels menioned have been to prevent stupid use of a product. In this case, the manufacturer puts on a label to allegedly prevent the intended use.
Everybody knows what Q-tips are used for: to clean the ear canal. They were designed for that. Yet the box currently has a warning in bold block letters: DO NOT USE SWAB IN EAR CANAL. The label also lists - with pictures! - all the things that their lawers think they should be used for: removing makeup, cleaning your keyboard, etc.
This is all done just to protect themselves from lawsuits.
Perhaps they meant "Do not use to be nosey", as in "Me and my crowbar Guido would likes to know when yous'll be giving Mr. Angelino his money back.".
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Well, Suzuki markets the R-1000 with "own the racetrack". But they refuse any warranty if you indeed use it on for racing. KTM also refuses any warranty if you use their competition-ready enduros (and they are) in competition.
http://www.engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename =liquor-head.jpg&category=Engrish%20from%20Other%2 0Countries&date=2006-12-12
In GOD we trust, all others we monitor.
The problem in America is that the plaintiff is awarded what the respondent able to pay. In Sweden there are almost the same possibilities to sue as in the US, but practically no lawsuits of "I burnt my self on Mc Donald's coffee, they must pay me $$$$$" because the courts only award whats the injury is supposed to be worth, in a by law established way. In this reasoning a burning your self on a cup of coffee is probably worth $2 or $3, but not more. Law suite problem gone!
- Spinning is fun
- The washing machine spins
- I should go for a ride.
So they set the dial, climb in and close the lid. Within seconds the G-forces are so intense they can't move their arms to open the lid. Seconds later they can't breathe. Seconds after that the blood is forced out of their brain and they're unconscious. This is an incredible blessing because in less than a minute the skin on their back has ruptured and all the blood and bile and lymph is being flung out of their bodies and pumped away by the washer. The sixty pound unbalanced load is chump change compared to the hundred and sixty pounds of water a washer usually has to spin out. And those sixty pound boys, he told me, get spun down to about thirty pounds of bones and mush.18 G's is fatal. Washers subject their load to several minutes G's forces comparable to driving into a concrete wall at 100MPH. So yeah, a little label reminding the grownups that a washing machine will kill the shit out of anything or anybody put in it is a bad idea.
This is not my sandwich.
McDonald's had reports of injuries before this event; they even knew it was being served too hot to be consumed. McD's refuised to settle, and eventually lost to the tune of $500,000 - then they settled.
;-]
Indeed. And a number of articles on the case have pointed out that McDonald's also served hot chocolate at the same scalding temperature as their coffee. Hot chocolate is mostly drunk by children. McDonald's management knew this, had reports of injuries from both the coffee and the hot chocolate, but failed to lower the temperature. Endangering children like this is a level of irresponsibility that's a bit much for even the most rabid Social Darwinists.
Also, followups have pointed out that the lawsuit had the desired effect. McDonald's lowered their serving temperature for both coffee and hot chocolate to a more reasonable 140F (60C).
Another footnote was that most of the settlement went to pay the victim's lawyers; she reportedly got less money than her hospital bills.
[I tried to get a degree symbol into those temperatures, but none of the standard HTML "entity" encodings worked.
Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
My second favourite warning label that I've seen is on the fire starting logs you can buy at the local grocery store - the front says "Start fires easily! Burns fast and clean!", and the back says "Warning: Contents are flammable". Well I should certainly HOPE so!
The absolute best I've seen though, in the same store even, was something I deeply regret not buying and taking home to show people as proof right then. It was the store's brand of peanut-brittle (a candy made mostly of peanuts) and the warning label said "Warning: MAY contain peanuts" (You mean they're not SURE? I think they need to re-check their manufacturing process if they think there's a chance that there might not be peanuts in the peanut brittle.) Sadly, that one went off the shelves a week later and hasn't been back since...
And we talked about warning labels at one point because some of the ones on his products are so silly. For example, "Do not rest top of ladder against power line(s)."
He was telling me that within a few years, nobody will be manufacturing ladders in the United States anymore, and it will become impossible to buy a ladder. The reason? There are so many frivolous lawsuits against manufacturers, distributors and retailers of ladders that the cost of defending them and/or insurance against claims will make it a money losing proposition.
My favorite label warns about the following;
A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority the good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play.
I'm not sure how they arrived at this translation from Japanese, but there it is.
Ian Ameline
Not so ridiculous as you might think:
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has received reports of numerous suffocation deaths involving children who crawled inside latch type freezers, clothes dryers, combination washer/dryer units, picnic coolers, iceboxes in campers, and old-style latch type refrigerators. Most of the victims were 4 to 7 years old. In all cases, the doors could not be easily pushed open from the inside. In some of the incidents associated with clothes dryers, the appliance was accidentally turned on while the child was inside.
Frequently, the children were playing "hide-and-seek" and the appliance or chest provided a deceptively good place to hide. When the door slammed shut, the tight fitting gasket on most of the appliances cut off air to the child. This, along with the insulated construction of the appliance, also prevented the child's screams from being heard. But abandoned appliances are not the only items involved with accidents like these. Entrapment deaths have been reported in products in use or stored in the kitchen, laundry room, basement, or garage. Deaths also have occurred in iceboxes located in campers parked outside the home. Preventing Large Appliance Entrapment Deaths to Children
Sad but true. Check out this ad.
"More doctors smoke camels than any other cigarette..."
Do not taunt HappyFunBall
... still waiting for this free-as-in-beer free beer I keep hearing about.
$9k was an arbitrary number, but probably close to the US average spent per student in public schools. I won't argue over 10%.
I'm not saying you could hire an educator for minimum wage. I'm saying that as compensation, the government should at least allow you to claim the federal minimum wage for the required contact hours, adjusted for class size (you're kids get the benefit of a low instructor-student ratio at your expense). Since there are no special federal education requirements, licensing exams, or annual education requirements for home educators, a reasonable compensation is FMW - it's the lowest common denominator. You're not doing it to save money - you're doing it because you want them to get a "better" education (however it is you define better - eveyone does it differently).
Expenses are deductible, I just suggested a statutory labor deduction for home school instructors who do not get paid. If you want to pay your spouse $40,000 per year, along with the payroll taxes and such, you can deduct up to $9,000 of the expense. Be my guest. Just remember that you'll pay income, employment, FUTA, and local taxes on that money. Books are deductible. Buildings and electricity must be carefully justified, just as in a home based business - if you use that space for any other purpose, it's probably not deductible. If you sell your house with a dedicated addition, you must claim the proceeds (as a portion of your basis) as a capital gain for any deduction you've taken.
Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
While McDonald's and Starbucks can afford to make the effort to find the perfect temperature at which to sell their hot beverages, it's a sad sad life if the only hot liquids you place in your mouth come from a fast food corporation.
From the first sips of hot home-made tea I took in my life my mother taught me to be careful and check the temperature least I burn my tongue or mouth. I never attempted to chug down hot coffee like it was coke... the only way I can think of to get third degree burns in the stomach.
The ability to sue is a poor replacement to knowing how to get around in life.
As a Slashdot discussion grows longer, the probability of an analogy involving cars approaches one.
Some nice instructions labels:
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Ubuntu is an African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'
Intended purpose? To kill headcrabs?
Copied from news:rec.humor.funny.reruns
From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://www.netfunny.com/rhf to browse the RHF pages and archives on the web.
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
(The above is from Volume 36, Number 1 of The Journal of Irreproducible Results. Copyright 1991 Blackwell Scientific Publications Inc. 3 Cambridge Center, Cambridge MA 02141 Individual US Subscriptions $12.00 Reproduced with permission.)
This is not the sig you're looking for.
The root cause behind McDonald's loss was a poor legal strategy and the stupidity of the jury. McD put boring experts on the stand that put the jury to sleep. When the jury was awake they heard phrases like "statistically insignificant" and thought someone was insulting poor Stella Liebeck.
FWIW, there have been other cases similar to the McD case like McMahon vs. Bunn-O-Matic that have found for the defendants because of information like this:
(emphasis mine)
I am sick of people saying that public transportation is the Holy Grail of this country's transportation/pollution/whatever else problems. Here's a big secret that all these pro-public transportation people don't seem to realize:
/rant
Not every place has public transportation.
Believe it or not, people commute from small towns and small cities to bigger cities. And, believe it or not, these small towns and small cities don't always have a public transportation system that can get them from point A to point B and back again. In the town that I grew up in, the only time a bus was ever seen, other than school buses, was when a charter bus would pull off the interstate to get gas or pass through the town.
In the small city I live in now, there is a bus line for around the city, but it only goes to the college and a strip mall. There are several buses that go to the surrounding cities. However, they don't operate at the times necessary for people to get to and from work, and there are no buses that get around those cities.
There is no rail line. There are no taxis. How do people get around? Cars.
There is a bike path that stretches from the college to the strip mall area. But there is no bike path on the major streets. How are people supposed to get where they are going without spending a hour to get from one end of the city where they live to the other? Again, personal vehicles.
So, next time that you think that public transportation is the be all, end all of our transportation and pollution woes, think again. Not everyone in this country lives in a major metropolitan area with a squeaky clean public transportation system.
I don't like Linux. This doesn't make me a troll.
Ears are supposed to be self cleaning if left alone, but for some people that is not the case.
- One method is to go to a doctor, and the nurse will clean your ears out with hot soapy water.
- A better method is to find a hearing clinic that has a special machine that vacuums the wax out.
- There's also earwax dissolving drops, but I don't think they are really recommended.
The problem with trying to do anything to mechanically clean them is that you _will_ push some of the wax further in.
The funniest one I've seen was from a thermometer, and it said:
"Once used rectally, do not use orally."
Sorry, humans of all ages have rapid cell regrowth in their mouths, which contain sensitive pain receptors.
(Very young children mouth everything they pick up because their mouth is more sensitive than their fingers. As they age, their fingers get more sensitive, their mouth remains the same)
Common sense says that I will get scalded if I spill hot coffee on my lap. That's a first degree burn. In the McDonalds case the coffee caused 3rd degree burns, thus defying common sense.
Common sense also says that a restaurant wouldn't be so stupid that they would sell a beverage that was so hot it could not be consumed without injury. Much like common sense would tell you that a restaurant wouldn't sell coffee made with concentrated sulphuric acid.
Thanks, I haven't been that scared in years. I can't imagine how anything could possibly go wrong with such a procedure. I'd rather trust my friends to give me a colonoscopy with a long, rusty nail.
Have you considered that the hard, black chunks in your ears might actually be dried blood from previous cleaning attempts?
Yes, I'm fairly confident you were joking, but... I couldn't resist taking it seriously and replying. Sorry.
SWM seeks new sig for a brief fling