Slashdot Mirror
IBM Sued for Firing Alleged Internet Addict
globring sent us a link to a CNN article covering a trial with a unique defense. James Pacenza, a 58 year old Alabama man, has been fired from his position at IBM for visiting adult sites during working hours. The man is now suing the company for $5 Million, alleging that he is an internet addict. The plaintiff claims he visits these sites as a way of dealing with traumatic stress incurred in the Vietnam War. He claims that while he is addicted to sex and the internet, he never visited adult sites at work. Age-related issues, he says, are the cause of his filing. IBM, on its part, says that Pacenza was warned during a similar incident several months ago. Pacenza denies this as well.
If people would actually take responsibility for their actions then this country might not be so bad.
IBM has been violating my rights to have a job there. Who knew?
This has apparently been going on a long time, since I've never worked at IBM.
I think IBM owes us all some back pay.
The only way I see ANY logic in this, is if Internet Addiction is considered a disability.... which causes you to look at porn... right.
:I
Maybe I can get away with classifying my need to punch stupid people in the face as a disability. After all, I shouldn't be fired for that
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
"Your Honor, IBM fired me because they failed to give me the right to watch porn rather than working while on the job." Seriously, no sane judge is going to allow that to get by the inevitable dismissal motion by IBM.
I am officially gone from
SCO has the patent on "internet addiction" and is suing the man.
... and then they built the supercollider.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/07/29/bofh_2004_ episode_24/
"I don't actually think you CAN fire me for browsing porn.."
"Why not?"
"Well, I think I'm addicted to porn."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Addicted. To porn."
"You're joking!"
"Oh no. You see I'm fairly sure that the browsing of porn causes the release of testosterone, endorphins or something like that, which in turn causes a pleasure response in the body - or so my doctor will tell me if I ask. I'm addicted to that pleasure response, in much the same way as a drug addict is addicted to the pleasure they obtain from their drugs."
"So you're saying you have no control over your actions?"
"None."
"And you.... Believe that this is somehow the company's problem?"
"Oh no."
"Good."
"No, I think it's the company's fault. It's completely different."
"I think you'll find that to demonstrate fault, the company would have to be aware of a problem."
"They are. I filled out a workplace hazard form about it six months ago."
Much better is where the boss sends you the porn via email so you don't go having to look for it, and also pays your green fees when it's time to go playing golf.
If you dont have either of the above, consider seeking alternative employment.
Once I was a four stone apology. Now I am two separate gorillas.
This reminds me of an incident I once saw while working IT at a fairly major firm.
One of the VPs called us into his office to report a problem with his computer. Apparently somebody had ejaculated all over his keyboard. He wanted us to get rid of the soiled keyboard, and bring him a new one. Not really being in a position to ask questions, we just did what he wanted.
About a week later, the same VP is on the phone, telling us that there's more ejaculate on his keyboard. So we bring him a new keyboard, yet again.
Another week or so later, we get a third call from the same VP. This time we went to the President of the firm, and reported this incident to him. He assured us he would look into it. I'm not sure exactly what the outcome was, but the VP ended up leaving his job soon after. According to some of the secretaries near his office, there was a pretty serious confrontation between him and the President of the company. One of the secretaries quoted part of the VP's yelling: "Yes, I got my sperm on the keyboard! It's because I have a fucking masturbation addition!"
Then he would be covered by ADA, right?
Call me old fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating - Bender
I'm not an alcoholic! I'm just addicted to using lowball glasses. I'm a lowball glass addict. It's just that my lowball glasses always seem to be filled with bourbon.
If a tree falls in the forest, is it logged?
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
So, he knew he was "sick", yet still came into work. I hate it when sick people come into work.
He should have gotten treatment by himself. The article refers to "self medication". Too funny. IBM happens to have very good mental health benefits and he could have easily gotten into a discrete program through IBM. Or even by himself. My guess is that he would have even gotten paid leave for a short while.
I would have felt just a bit more sorry for him if he had spilled hot coffee on his lap at the McDonald's drive through. Would have gotten him the $5 million and also solved his, um, other problem.
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus
I should have saw that pun coming...
Be relentless!
What do you mean "both" sexes? Are you suggesting there are only two? Your words are hate speech, as they deny the reality of the transgendered and questioning. Please report to your nearest sensitivity training center immediately!
Don't forget though, that we are talking about "Idiots Become Managers" after all...
--- I've completed diagnosis of your problem and can classify it as a YOYO...You're On Your Own
In a series of log puns, 'saw' was a welcome addition to the scene.
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
"And you're aware that the company has a policy regarding acceptable use of computers?"
"Really?"
"YES" the Boss snaps, annoyed. "It's been in place for at least 18 months!"
"Ah, I see, so it's not actually a policy I agreed to several years ago when I started."
"Your contract gives the company the right to vary acceptable behaviour policies."
"Not my contract," I say
"I think you'll find it does," the HR Guy responds.
"No, mine was sent as an electronic document, so I just cut out the clauses I didn't like, added a couple of my own, printed two copies and signed them. Then your guy signed them too probably without checking. Or maybe he liked the idea of clause F.3 that I'm allowed to call Managers... 'knobface'."
"I.." the HR Guy says, then ducks out the door to check something.
two hours later . . .
"It's true," the HR Guy says. "There is a clause saying he can call you knobface."
"Which was also signed by your HR guy in ink," I add.
"Yes."
"Including the eight or so extra clauses I added... er.. Knobface?"
I'm addicted to slacking. How about some time off to recover, boss, how bout it, eh!
Table-ized A.I.
just let me unzip it.
See my art -> http://herbevore.deviantart.com