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Revolution, Flashmobs and Brain Implants in 2035

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the some-a-lot-sooner-than-others dept.

siddesu writes "Marxist revolution, WMDs, flashmobs and other sci-fi items are coming soon in a country near you, according to the UK Ministry of Defence. 'Information chips implanted in the brain. Electromagnetic pulse weapons. The middle classes becoming revolutionary, taking on the role of Marx's proletariat. The population of countries in the Middle East increasing by 132%, while Europe's drops as fertility falls. "Flashmobs" — groups rapidly mobilised by criminal gangs or terrorists groups. This is the world in 30 years' time envisaged by a Ministry of Defence team responsible for painting a picture of the "future strategic context" likely to face Britain's armed forces.'"

11 of 327 comments (clear)

  1. Sigh... by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny

    The middle classes becoming revolutionary, taking on the role of Marx's proletariat. You can preempt that by running the country for the benefit of the people in general rather than for the billionaires.

    The population of countries in the Middle East increasing by 132% And the threat in 2035 will be from an unseen quarter.

    Information chips implanted in the brain. Electromagnetic pulse weapons. ... Flashmobs" -- groups rapidly mobilised by criminal gangs or terrorists groups. At least they've kept up on their pop reading.
    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
    1. Re:Sigh... by UbuntuDupe · · Score: 2, Funny

      You can preempt that by running the country for the benefit of the people in general rather than for the billionaires.

      Yeah. One trick is to nationalize all the businesses and turn them over to the lowest-level workers at those businesses. That'll stave off those Marxist revolutionaries!

      --
      Apology to Ubuntu forum.
  2. What did you do, Ray? by Azathfeld · · Score: 5, Funny

    Information chips implanted in the brain. Electromagnetic pulse weapons. The middle classes becoming revolutionary, The population of countries in the Middle East increasing by 132%, "Flashmobs" Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria!

  3. Hey, I can do that too. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, let me quickly write a scenario for my boss. What will happen in 10 years if they dont immediately fund my division with an additional 3 million bucks and 22 new engineers. Can I say our customers will come to the corporate headquarters and sack and pillage it and carry away the fetching executive assistant the CFO has hired? Nah, wont work. Our management is not as dumb as the UK DoD.

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    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  4. Re:V for Vendetta ... by jimstapleton · · Score: 4, Funny

    No

    It was also a comic book!

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    34486853790
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  5. Re:Marxist revolution by AndersOSU · · Score: 3, Funny

    The science part comes from social science. Where social is synonymous with not-a-real.

  6. Re:Thay read too much bad science-fiction by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Where's the prediction of people flying cars into parking structures?

    --
    Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
  7. Re:This is a Dup from 1986 by nacturation · · Score: 3, Funny

    William Gibson wrote Johnny Mneumonic?! Is the book better than the movie? For starters, the book doesn't star Keanu Reeves. I leave that up to you as to whether that qualifies for an "Excellent!" or a "Whoah!".
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  8. Not such a worst case by goombah99 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well at least the EMP will take out the brain implants, solving one problem.

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  9. Re:...futurama ref? by painQuin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Modded: +1 for effort, -2 for failure

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    A guilty conscience means at least you've got one.
  10. Re:Thay read too much bad science-fiction by Citizen+of+Earth · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or perhaps it's because people like this wargame worst-case scenarios that such have been avoided for the most part?

    They don't mention Iran/Islamic radicals getting nuclear weapons at all. Phew! I guess this means it doesn't happen.