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Deathbed Confession Says Aliens Were at Roswell
xnuandax writes "The army's explanation of weather balloons in the Roswell, New Mexico incident 60 years ago has been dealt a serious public relations blow. Late Army Lt. Walter Haut had signed a sealed affidavit prior to his death last year asserting that he had witnessed the wreckage of an egg-shaped craft and its extraterrestrial crew while working at the Roswell Army Air Field. An article at News.com.au reviews how Haut had worked as public relations officer for the Roswell base and was involved in the original weather balloon explanation of events at the time. This recent evidence would seem to confirm speculation that egg-shaped saucers are notoriously difficult to fly safely at low altitude."
the craft's name was 'Humpty Dumpty'?
Serving time in Aristotelean prison for violating laws of physics
No kidding. New Mexico is soooo, yesterday. Kansas is where anybody who's anybody crashes.
"The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth." ~1984 George Orwell
I'd be laughing all the way to the mortuary, if it were me...
And I'd be really creeped out if I were the coroner...
This guy's the limit!
"This recent evidence would seem to confirm speculation that egg-shaped saucers are notoriously difficult to fly safely at low altitude."
I'm curious just where this speculation was forwarded. Is there some UFO magazine with articles like "Egg Shape Saucers -- How Easy to Fly" or "Egg shaped versus conventional Plate shaped, which Flying Saucer is right for your intergalactic traveling needs?" or better yet is Consumer Reports planning a Fly Saucer Safety issue? "Flying Saucer Roll Over Crash Test Results -- Egg Shaped Models perform poorly"
Letter To Iran
"Ultimately why would a space craft be built out material resembling tin foil. "
Because it's powered by hats?
Yes, but it wouldn't be hard to believe our military would shoot down an unidentified flying egg no matter how advanced or rare it's occupants might be.
Not that I'm saying... uhm... yeah.
"Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"
Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
Eggs can fly, as long as they're in a 3oz or less container.
rewriting history since 2109
Yeah, but think again: did you know that Dick Cheney just appeared one day in 1941 out of nowhere? The day before, nobody had heard of him, and then, poof! there he was. And ever since, he seems to appear for a while and disappear without a trace for long periods. Coincidence? I reserve judgement.
There is no way they could keep a secret of this magnitude and cover it up for 60 years.
... keep a secret secret? Is it possible that we wouldn't have heard about it?
Ok, let me get this reasoning straight.
a) There's no way that the government could keep a secret that long.
b) How do we know that there's no way that the government could keep a secret that long?
c) Because if the government tried to keep a secret that long we would have beard about it.
Just for the sake of argument, what if the government managed to... um
(especially if they used secret alien technology to keep it secret!)
Three Squirrels
It was: You win again, gravity!
Even more amazing is that in such an advanced society as ours someone could think that tires are bolted to cars.
And let's not forget the debt we owe them for the anal probes that today's proctology enjoys. Most former alien abductees will testify to the genius of their probes.
-- Posted from my parent's basement
But how easy could it be to fly an egg?
Mork was a moron and he could fly one just fine.
I am a free slashdotter. I will not be modded, blogged, DRM'd, patented, podcasted or RFID'd. My life is my own.
"That's something that always pissed me off about Star Trek (even as a fan): everyone was a super-genius, unless you dedicated yourself to raising grapes in France or you were a junior member of an away team. ;-)"
Darn it Jim, that WAS our eugenics program!
"When they got near the touchy military types at Roswell, their lander copped an unexpected sidewinder up the clacker."
Definitely "unexpected" since sidewinder's had not been invented.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
DRM 'manages access' in the same way that a prison 'manages freedom'
"As much as I want to believe aliens are among us, it just doesn't make sense that a civilization advanced enough to cross interstellar space would crash in New Mexico."
Maybe the contract went to the lowest bidder?
The race isn't always to the swift... but that's the way to bet!
What part of a signed and sealed affidavit on a death bed did you not understand? Not only does nobody ever lie on their death bed, he signed an affidavit (that you aren't allowed to see) and if he lied he can be prosecuted to the full extent of the law (considering he's dead this involves not being prosecuted at all).
I mean, would you disbelieve the guy who on his deathbed said that he actually faked those Loch Ness pictures? How about the guy who after he died had his family expose how exactly he faked those nice big foot pictures and tracks?
Well, I knew this guy and have a signed and sealed affidavit from him that their signed and sealed affidavit was acquired by threatening his family.
It is no longer uncommon to be uncommon.
An egg shape craft? If they were shot down, it must have gone something like this... Shazbat! we've been shot. We're going down. They are gathering all around the ship. They may want to kill us! Perhaps a friendly greeting will appease them. Greetings! I am Mork from Ork. Nanu Nanu.
How ya like dat?
Wow, that's the first time I've ever seen capitalism applied to justify the appearance of aliens.
Well done.
How we know is more important than what we know.
You know what else I find totally unbelievable? That a civilization so advanced that it could send an orbiter all the way to other planets would manage to crash it when it got there... and over something as retarded as metric vs. standard. :)
Or maybe that's why the crashed.
"Turn the egg! Turn the egg!"
"I can't, I don't have any hands!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Crypto!! You're not supposed to be posting on Slashdot. Get back to the invasion site immediately!
I don't therefore I'm not.
The same reason *my* brain isn't stuck into my abdominal cavity where I keep all my other importan stuff - My brain is about 1% of my weight, but produces about 20% of my body heat.
That's why I store my brains in a lower, dangling organ, where they can cool easily - that's the way most of us Bipedal aliens do it. -
Pug
An Invisible Entity of Vast Power whose existence must be taken on faith alone: Liberal Media
Weren't there nine of these things seen and then only one on the ground?
If any of this is true (which, of course, it isn't) then the most credible conclusions are:
- The aliens look human therefore they are human.
- They are on earth therefore they came from earth.
- Their technology is more advanced than ours therefore the crash was an accident or caused by someone of sufficiently advanced technology.
So we have some theories:- At some point far in the future our descendents try out time travel and something goes wrong with one of the time travelling craft (they were probably visiting roswell to see if an alien really was found there - ah, the irony...)
- Humanity in a parallel dimension was experimenting with cross dimensional travel and it went wrong.
- At some point in the past a super intelligent branch of humanity separated from the rest of us and has been living in secret along side us for a while now. They were pissing around buzzing some country-folk and something wet wrong. Maybe a teenager stole the keys to their dad's flying-egg-car?
- Any of the above except it was an escape attempt by some dissident / terrorist / freedom-fighter / messiah / anti-christ / "crack commando unit sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit" and they were shot down by pursuing craft.
Anythying else is just pure speculation and fantasy.No. He meant Rebel vs Imperial.
Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain