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Truck-Mounted Laser Guns

Posted by kdawson on from the sharks-with-wheels dept.

bl8n8r writes "Boeing has announced a contract with the US Army to develop laser cannons that are to be mounted atop 20-ton trucks for the purpose of shooting down incoming artillery, rockets, mortars, or bombs. The High Energy Laser Technology Demonstrator project actually shoots stuff instead of just painting a mark on a target for other armament to hit."

35 of 370 comments (clear)

  1. I'm so proud by UncleWilly · · Score: 4, Funny

    to be an American

    Next put them in C-130s, or Jeeps, like Rat Patrol.

  2. They're getting smaller every day. by AragornSonOfArathorn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yesterday: 747-mounted laser.
    Today: Truck-mounted laser.
    Tomorrow: Shark-mounted laser.

    --
    sudo eat my shorts
    1. Re:They're getting smaller every day. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Today: Truck-mounted laser.
      Tomorrow: Shark-mounted laser.

      RTFA - The 20-ton truck is actually a shark tank on wheels.

    2. Re:They're getting smaller every day. by jamstar7 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yesterday: 747-mounted laser.
      Today: Truck-mounted laser.
      Tomorrow: Shark-mounted laser.

      Tomorrow afternoon: Large tank of water in the back of a truck to carry shark-mounted lasers.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    3. Re:They're getting smaller every day. by jcr · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's when they get to the roach-mounted lasers that they'll really have a tactical advantage.

      -jcr

      --
      The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
    4. Re:They're getting smaller every day. by afidel · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well, the intermediate step would be lasers mounted on trained spy squirrels.

      --
      There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. Starting now.
  3. That's great, but... by AdmiralAudio · · Score: 5, Funny

    How soon will we see these being mounted on the heads of ill-tempered seabass?

    1. Re:That's great, but... by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 5, Funny

      How the hell can the parent be offtopic?

      Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
      Number Two: Sea Bass.
      Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
      Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
      Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
      Number Two: Absolutely.
      Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

      --
      liqbase :: faster than paper
  4. Damnit! by simp · · Score: 5, Funny

    This government is so incompetent!! Bush screwed up. Again...

    Sharks, I wanted sharks. Is that so difficult?

    1. Re:Damnit! by xENoLocO · · Score: 2, Funny

      Introducing the Bass from GMSea

      --
      "The need to build the internet comes from something inside us, something programmed... something we can't resist."
  5. The adult in me says by the_skywise · · Score: 5, Funny

    Guns of destruction are bad.

    But the kid in me says...

    SA-WEEET!!!!!!

    1. Re:The adult in me says by ArmyOfFun · · Score: 2, Funny

      Reminds me of this Onion article:
      Peace Activist Has To Admit Barrett .50 Caliber Sniper Rifle Is Pretty Cool

    2. Re:The adult in me says by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

      The kid in me is disappointed that the truck doesn't transform into a humanoid robot with the laser held in its hand like a gun.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
  6. Sure... by chaidawg · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...but can it drive a 6 inch spike through a board with its penis?

    1. Re:Sure... by trybywrench · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...but can it drive a 6 inch spike through a board with its penis?
      a girl's got to have her standards

      --
      I came to the datacenter drunk with a fake ID, don't you want to be just like me?
  7. In this day and age? by WindBourne · · Score: 2, Funny

    With the current admin, we are much more likely to put them in a high quality Chery truck (made by china and to be sold shortly by Chrysler).

    --
    I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
  8. Oblig. CNC by andrewd18 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Heavy Expanded Mobility Tactical Truck
    Also known as the predecessor to the Mammoth Tank.
  9. So will this be the demise of their ... by PalmKiller · · Score: 4, Funny

    rail gun projects? Nooooo...I think rail guns are way cooler, especially when they malfunction.

  10. Dude... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    After the war, torture, Gitmo, NSA's unwarranted wiretapping and all the other crap that has made me ashamed to be an American, I'm glad that we can even for one brief moment have something cool like this.

    Yeah, sure, we'll probably sad when they end up used to blind baby seals or to violate the Geneva convention (again), but quit ruining the moment, dammit. You made me misread "cherry truck" as "Cheney truck" and I was afraid I'd get zapped in the face by it.

    1. Re:Dude... by anshee · · Score: 2, Funny

      By being a country that has signed the Geneva convention, like the US, Afghanistand and Iraq. And all the time it was so easy :-)
      `/etc/init.d/Afghanistand stop`
  11. Set lazers from stun... by xgr3gx · · Score: 1, Funny

    to drain budget!

    --
    Shameless plug alert: Game server control panel
  12. You are no longer of any use to me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I want five megawatts by mid-may.

    1. Re:You are no longer of any use to me by MrNaz · · Score: 4, Funny

      Let's do the math, just coz I'm bored.

      The specific heat capacity of stainless steel is 500j/Kg and from this site I'm going to assume the specific heat capacity of the explosive is the same as "sandy clay" (poor assumption, but this is /. and I can't be bothered doing more research) which is 1381j/Kg.

      Lets assume a 5Kg mortar is 40% propellant, 30% explosive and 30% shell, and that you don't have to heat the propellant. The specific heat capacity of a 2.5Kg object with a 50/50 mix of steel and clay by weight is given by:

      (2.5 / 2) * 0.5(500 + 1381) = 2351.25 Kj/K/Kg

      Lets also say we want to heat the thing from ambient (35 degrees Celcius, coz remember we're in the desers of Iraq) to 100 degrees (I have no idea about explosives, despite the fact that I am a Muslim) in order to detonate it.

      100 - 35 = 65 degree delta

      Assuming that all energy is absorbed evenly, the formula for energy required is:

      e = 65K(delta) * 4.7025 Kj/K/Kg
      = 152.83125 Kj

      Given that watts are a measure of joules per second, assuming you have a quarter of a second "paint time" of the laser on the round, your lazer will need to emit:

      (1/0.25) * 152.83125 Kj
      = 611.325 W

      (Please note: My assumptions are completely bullshit and this figure is probably way off, but it was fun doing them anyway.)

      To put this into perspective, a 20g chocolate biscuit yeilds about 2,200 Kj. So really, forget the billion dollar laser program, just start lobbing chocolate biscuits at your enemy.

      If this post wasn't bizarre enough, if you lob that chocolate biscuit fast enough at your enemny for e = mc^2 to come into play, then that same chocolate biscuit will yield:

      e = 0.02 * (3*10^8)^2
      = 1,800,000,000,000 Kj

      Just sayin'.

      --
      I hate printers.
  13. Dual use? by Lurker2288 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Have any trials been done on using the laser to fill a snide professor's house with popcorn? There could be a big market for this among the college crowd.

  14. Re:How do clouds of popcorn change this? by ArcherB · · Score: 3, Funny

    You make an excellent point. All the enemy needs to do is first fire a barrage of Jiffy Pop popcorn. when the laser hits it, the corn pops and rains down on the target. This should be sufficient in preventing the laser from knocking out the REAL rounds, which are fired second.

    Hey, it works when fired from a satellite!

    --
    There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
  15. Car Wars! by Curate · · Score: 2, Funny

    Could this be the first step towards a future of heavily-armoured and -armed cars and trucks, complete with laser cannons and oil slick emittors, like in Steve Jackson's Car Wars game?

  16. Re:How do clouds of popcorn change this? by Chris+Burke · · Score: 4, Funny

    All the enemy needs to do is first fire a barrage of Jiffy Pop popcorn. when the laser hits it, the corn pops and rains down on the target. This should be sufficient in preventing the laser from knocking out the REAL rounds, which are fired second.

    So would this be called Jiffy Chaff?

    --

    The enemies of Democracy are
  17. Obligatory by hellfire · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yay... finally!!!

    Popcorn for everyone!!!

    --

    "All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"

  18. Quake 3? by Reddragon220 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So the Navy has railguns and the Army now has lasers - the Air force better get quad-damage or else they're going to get pwned.

  19. Fess up by suv4x4 · · Score: 4, Funny

    The High Energy Laser Technology Demonstrator project actually shoots stuff

    Who wrote that summary, George Bush?

  20. Re:Very useful (defensive) weapon by mi · · Score: 3, Funny

    I get upset when they start making congress pass bad laws.

    Boeing are a member of neither RIAA nor MPAA. What's the problem?

    --
    In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
  21. Slashup Mashup by alta · · Score: 3, Funny

    NEWSFLASH:

    Boeing has developed a new squirrel mounted laser. Lasers have been mounted to squirrels and released on the Iranian border. Unfortunatly the squirrels were all captured by iranian police, but not after they fried their eyes out.

    Cost? $50 million nuts.

    --
    Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
  22. dogs by phrostie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oooooooooooooh

    i need one of these for the dogs next door.

  23. This is cool? by Savage-Rabbit · · Score: 2, Funny

    After the war, torture, Gitmo, NSA's unwarranted wiretapping and all the other crap that has made me ashamed to be an American, I'm glad that we can even for one brief moment have something cool like this. This is cool? The thing wont even fit on a sharks head... unless the US Army has managed to clone a Megalodon from DNA salvaged from a fossilized tooth or some such artifact in which case they have really pissed off the Navy. The Army should have gone for cloning T-Rexes. Now imagine that, a whole regiment of T-Rexes with lasers on their heads, that would convince those Iraqi insurgents to behave in no time flat. It just goes to show what a mess the Pentagon is still in even though Rumsfeld is long gone.
    --
    Only to idiots, are orders laws.
    -- Henning von Tresckow
  24. Re:When can I get some of this tech? by Qrlx · · Score: 2, Funny

    They already have that, it's called a garage.