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Emoticons in the Workplace

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the don't-smile-at-me dept.

Platonic writes "According to the New York Times, the Emoticon has become much more than something the kids do after school. The little guys seem to have found their way into the workforce: being used by stock brokers and even the U.S. Military. From TFA: 'I mean, it's ludicrous," said Ms. Feldman, 25. "I'm not going to feel better about losing hundreds of thousands of dollars because someone puts a frown face to regretfully inform me.'"

17 of 258 comments (clear)

  1. Shocking! by UncleWilly · · Score: 5, Funny

    :-O

    1. Re:Shocking! by Anonymous+Monkey · · Score: 4, Funny

      As I said, my boss rags on me about my spelling ;)

      --
      We are the Borg...
    2. Re:Shocking! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      I got an e-mail the other day from an insurance company that contained two :).


      UR RATEZ WENT UP BY 22%!!! ZOMG WTF!!! :(
      ON TEH BRITE SIZE OUR PROFITZ R UP BY 33%!!! LOL!!! :)
    3. Re:Shocking! by Richard+Steiner · · Score: 3, Funny

      Even Doctor Who encountered cyber stuff earlier than that! :-) His first encounter with Cybermen was in 1966 according to this article.

      --
      Mainframe/UNIX Bit Twiddler and long time Windows/Linux Hobbyist.
      The Theorem Theorem: If If, Then Then.
  2. Very true. by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 5, Funny

    This display of unprofessionalism is most upsetting. As a result, I've sent out a memo to the office banning the use of emoticons in work-related matters. It's written in Comic Sans MS.

    --
    Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
  3. imagine my surprise by friedman101 · · Score: 5, Funny

    After the market damage from last week my broker sent me this

    IM IN UR PORTFOLIO
    SHORTING UR GUGULS

  4. Re:The world is not yet ready! ;[ by pbhj · · Score: 3, Funny

    omgponies roflmao

    #;o)>

  5. I wuv you! by jtownatpunk.net · · Score: 4, Funny

    A few years ago, I received an email filled with bouncing hearts from a person at a client company. WTF?!? I had no idea who this person was. I didn't recognize the name and knew I'd never communicated with her in any way in the past. I sent her the information she'd requested being careful to use the most neutral, professional prose I could muster. Then I looked at the code on her email and saw it was pulling images from one of those "free emoticons" sites. Turns out she'd installed a toolbar that added a bunch of crap to all of her outgoing emails. It was early February so it was adding valentine hearts to everything. Sure enough, after valentine's day, it switched to shamrocks. Apparently someone told her about it because the graphics disappeared before switching to bunnies and eggs.

  6. Re:Informal usage only by dj_tla · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Sir, I am absolutely flabbergasted that you would insult my intelligence with such incoherent dribble."

    Formal:
    "I should hope you mean drivel, good sir, for I am neither slobbering like a hound nor partaking in a rousing game of basketball!"

    Informal:
    "lol, lern 2 english"

  7. HAHA I HAVE YOU ALL UNDER MY CONTROL NOW! by Broken+scope · · Score: 4, Funny

    (.Y.)

    damnit /. This font doesn't do it right.

    --
    You mad
  8. Re:Meh. by tb()ne · · Score: 4, Funny

    But with bad news, it would help convey a sense of understanding or empathy. For example:

    Mr. Johnson,

    Your employment here at MegaCorp is terminated, effective immediately :-(

    Director,
    Human Resources

  9. Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work by somersault · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't like your tone.. are you trying to say that I read comments too quickly, and get all huffy? How could you be so mean? *cries*

    --
    which is totally what she said
  10. Re:Ms. Feldman needs to STFU and GBTW. by Fozzyuw · · Score: 4, Funny

    it's supposed to clarify the state of mind of the sender!

    ( o )_( o ) ... opps, Freudian slip.

    'I mean, it's ludicrous," said Ms. Feldman, 25. "I'm not going to feel better about losing hundreds of thousands of dollars because someone puts a frown face to regretfully inform me.'"

    A future copy of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, that slipped through a worm-hole, had this to say about Ms. Feldman...

    Ms. Feldman at age 26, sued a former employee for sexual harassments due to lewd child-like graphical images, know at that time as "Emoticons". When a said former co-worker sent her an email with what he said was an arrow pointing at an important piece of information.

    Claiming that was clearly a penis and not an arrow and that such combinations of characters show the posters state of mind, she did not much appreciate the overt suggestions thought that $10 millions dollars should make her feel much better.

    Since then, all business replaced standard keyboards with interface boards that had specific words and generic phrases on them that only allowed a user to write back using those specific works, avoiding any further use of "emoticons" in the work place.

    Coincidently, work productivity grew more than 500% as people stopped using Email at work.
    --
    "The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth." ~1984 George Orwell
  11. Re:Meh. by imadoofus · · Score: 5, Funny

    But with bad news, it would help convey a sense of understanding or empathy. For example:

    Mr. Johnson,

    Your employment here at MegaCorp is terminated, effective immediately :-)

    Director,
    Human Resources

    --
    "pr0n": An anagram of "porn," possibly indicating the use of pornography. - www.microsoft.com
  12. Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work by Chysn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Take Chernobyl as an example. Discussing the actual number of deaths is an emotionally charged issue. Simply stating that the actual death count was vastly exaggerated by the media and that only a few dozen people died will get you a response to the effect of "you heartless bastard!" before you can even get to the issue of the thousands of victims who had to be treated for thyroid cancer. "Softing" one's speech to the point of clinical analysis combined with with a "warm" understanding of other's feelings can help you get farther in a discussion of the issue than immediately offending them, unintentionally or otherwise. Let's take that concept for a ride:

    The actual death count at Chernobyl was vastly exaggerated by the media :-D . Only a few dozen people died :)
    --
    --I'm so big, my sig has its own sig.
    -- See?
  13. Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work by AndersOSU · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clearly you're right. There is no possible way to convey sarcasm in text without including an emoticon.

  14. Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work by halber_mensch · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sprinkling the post with :-), :-P, or :-/ here and there can help get the correct tone across, even if it looks kind of lame. :-/
    <?XML version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
    <tone xmlns="http://smileysarebad.com/xsd/tone">
    <facetious>Hasn't XML, in its infinite glory in all applications, already given us a method that's a little less lame?</facetious>
    </tone>
    --
    perl -e "eval pack(q{H*},join q{},qw{70 72696e74207061636b28717b482a7d2c717b343 637323635363534323533343430617d293b})"