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G.I. Joe No Longer the Real American Hero?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the pussification-of-the-modern-male dept.

Advocate123 writes "Clearly, Hollywood has forgotten the, 'Real American Hero.' G.I. Joe originally symbolized the American WWII soldier and a great generation. Now Hollywood celebrities are going to turn him into a international multicultural coed task force with no government affiliations. Isn't anything sacred to these people?"

25 of 548 comments (clear)

  1. Wanted to post a non-RightWingWacko version of TFA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...but FOX News had the only other one I could find. =(

    Still better than the crap in the submission.

  2. In other news.... by MonorailCat · · Score: 5, Funny

    President Bush has signed a $100 million appropriations bill to supply soldiers in Iraq with red lasers.

    1. Re:In other news.... by MagusSlurpy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, now, that's good news, but when is he going to send them the sharks?

      --
      My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
    2. Re:In other news.... by hoppo · · Score: 2, Funny

      All I want is sharks with frickin laser beams, and you have to bog me down with all these details.

  3. Damn It! by rossz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now those bastards are turning him into a euro-pussie. They already have Ken, what more do they want?

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    -- Will program for bandwidth
    1. Re:Damn It! by wamerocity · · Score: 2, Funny

      Are you suggesting that a Greenpeace Soldier action figure would not be manly?!

      --
      "Thank you for using Stop-n-Drop, America's favorite suicide booth since 2008"
    2. Re:Damn It! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Well, hey it's a new century. Everybody can go metro at the drop of a hat at least pretend to. Anyways my point being is that soldiering is boring without a little sex added to the mix. Just imagine finding out if Snake Eyes is really deformed and the only one who knows is the Scarlet Witch whose been doing him, Duke, and Cobra Commander on the side. It makes military, mercenary, and overall killer jobs a whole lot more interesting than going to a foriegn place and wacking some moron. Nothing says nothing like a little killin' and a little sex mixed in a foriegn country. Do you agree?( I'm just playing around but kinda serious but not really in a tired, out of my mind with fatigue type roundabout way. Apologies for the lunacy. It's Friday!).

    3. Re:Damn It! by rossz · · Score: 3, Funny

      A greenpeace action figure would eat tofu, wear earth shoes, and run screaming like a school girl at the first sign of any real danger.

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      -- Will program for bandwidth
    4. Re:Damn It! by gwaawg · · Score: 2, Funny

      lol! first Jesus Christ and now G.I. Joe.... Those darned Europeans.

    5. Re:Damn It! by hollywoodb · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dude, it was called the "Rainbow Warrior". Everyone knew it was going to go down.

      --
      I may have to share this planet with animals, but I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them.
    6. Re:Damn It! by hawk · · Score: 2, Funny

      Oh, c'mon.

      France was *desperate* for a military victory after 900 years . . . :)

      hawk

  4. And I, for one, welcome. . . by MagusSlurpy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Our new international multicultural coed overlords!

    --
    My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
  5. Re:Old News by the_humeister · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait, you mean Cobra-La wasn't a real nation???

  6. the hurt . . . by LiquidHAL · · Score: 2, Funny

    i'm rolling my eyes as hard as i can. it hurts, but i dare not stop.

  7. What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your comment is nearly incoherent. It looks as if you've been cutting and pasting random quotes from some sort of badly translated alternate history comic book.

  8. Re:Mmm, bias by Jah-Wren+Ryel · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hollywood limousine liberal idiots are exceeding my patience. I can handle their unabashed socialism, even their global warming insanity, but when they attack G.I. Joe, enough is enough. If GI Joe can't fight off a bunch of 'limousine liberals' then he is already a pussy.
    --
    When information is power, privacy is freedom.
  9. Re:No... by poopdeville · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've got a bad feeling that Jerry Bruckheimer, Michael Bay, Uwe Boll, or W.S. Anderson is going to direct. This has the potential to make Team America: World Police the world's first parody of a chronologically later film.

    --
    After all, I am strangely colored.
  10. Grammatical error! by Bieeanda · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some random person's screechy blog is news by nerds, not news for nerds.

  11. Fuck GI Joe! by coaxial · · Score: 2, Funny

    He's no hero. He always let Cobra Commander -- the leader of a ruthless terrorist orgainization determined to rule the world -- get away. A real leader like George W. Bush would never let that happen.

  12. Hollywood even tried to make Tomatos "evildoers" by UncleWilly · · Score: 1, Funny

    with Attack of the Killer Tomatos

  13. G.I. Joe as he should be remembered by commodoresloat · · Score: 2, Funny
    WTF is up with this article? Some wingnut freeper whining in his blog about the demise of G.I. Joe? Get a grip (yeah, like the GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip). I present you GI Joe's real finest moments:
  14. Chuck by chiller2 · · Score: 2, Funny


    So they emasculated GI Joe? We still have Chuck Norris. Balls of steel!

    --
    --- Commission free trading & free stock up to $500 - use http://share.robinhood.com/kelvinp6 :)
  15. Re:Don't these rightwing bozos understand .... by 1u3hr · · Score: 4, Funny
    Incorrect, gripping hands make him an action figure. Looks at Ken's hands then look at Joe's.

    So Joe grips Ken?

  16. And Jordan Carlos, as "Alan" by Scrameustache · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't help but shudder at the thought of complaints from minority groups if there weren't any token blacks/Hispanics/etc. Personally, I find characters whose sole purpose is to stand up and scream "look at me, I'm not white!" to be rather annoying. That's why the black guy always dies first: they didn't want him in the first place.

    On the flipside, Lando WAS awesome, as a space pimp ought to be.
    --

    You can't take the sky from me...

  17. Re:Old News by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I would support a war against CORBA.