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Journalist Test Drives The Pain Ray Gun
Fantastic Lad writes to tell us that journalist Michael Hanlon recently got the opportunity to experience the Army's new not-so-secret weapon, dubbed "Silent Guardian". The Silent Guardian is essentially (even though the creators prefer you not refer to it as such) a ray gun, emitting a focused beam of radiation similar to your microwave tuned to a specific frequency to stimulate human nerve endings. "It can throw a wave of agony nearly half a mile. Because the beam penetrates skin only to a depth of 1/64th of an inch, it cannot, says Raytheon, cause visible, permanent injury. But anyone in the beam's path will feel, over their entire body, the agonizing sensation I've just felt on my fingertip. The prospect doesn't bear thinking about. "
Arr! This be a popular thing to consider against terrorists, insurgents and other bilge, but what of when a swab asks Sen. Kerry one too many questions?
"Blow me down, Senator, but why did ye let the scallywag take Ohio uncontested?"
"Belay the questioning, ye poxy bilge-bellied picaroon!"
*FFFNNZZZZZOOWWNT*
"Yaaaarrr!"
Sounds funny, do ye think? But by Davy Jone's locker, it doesn't bode us at all well when bloomin' cops be using it on the populace for crowd control or to force lubbers to obey their commands.
"Arr, get out of the vehicle and make way for boardin', swabbie!"
"Aye, but what of me constitutional rights against unreasonable looting and pillaging?"
*FFFNNZZZZZOOWWNT*
"Yaaaarrr!"
Aye a sobering thought. And will yer video camera help ye then? And what of the other wrong people layin' their mitts on this terrible new technology by way of the interweb -- ye don't like how a match is going? Give the swab in goal an itch he'd claw out with his own hook for just a second for the ball to pass into the net. Aye. People already are misusing lasers, what of these? No visible injury, sounds perfect for torture.
What next, use this on pirates? Well I'll be scuppered!
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I mean, even if you could get it mounted on a frikkin shark, they wouldn't survive long enough out of water for it to be used for crowd control.
...oh the pain.
Excuse me while I don my tin foil full body suit
I wish to remain anomalous
The operator was heard saying: "What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. How do you feel?"
I would like to take a moment to applaud this new direction the US Army has taken as of late. Nothing restores my faith in American more quickly than a standing policy of systematically punishing every journalist within reach, with any and all exotic weaponry available.
Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
My tinfoil armor will reflect those microwaves back to the cast... er, I mean shooter... Arrr!
it had 10 settings 10 being the highest and 1 the lowest.
We've got one that goes to 11.
(Sorry, had to be said.)
-- Alastair
and is not being sold to countries with questionable human rights records.
Why? Does the US really need to do that much catching up?
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If you're going to cite a fictional crackpot as a reliable source, then I'm going to make the claim that pain ray guns will be used by Christians against the forces of the Beast.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
THERE, ARE, FOUR, LIGHTS!
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Imagine this thing in the hands of private citizens, and YouTube....
"Now here is a video of a person crossing the street running into an invisible pain ray" as a video...
If I have nothing to hide, don't search me
Imagine a jeep mounted pleasure ray. Imagine it parked at one end of a square, pointing at a crowd. Imagine the soldier running the ray gun saying "watch this." He turns the gun to the right--the crowd races to stay in the beam. He pans left, and the crowd shuffles left. He jerks it back right, and the crowd runs facefirst into the building on that side of the square.
Anyone who loves or hates any language, platform, or manufacturer, doesn't know what they're talking about.
Have you ever been in agony? Okay, now imagine that feeling connected to an on/off switch that someone else's hand is on.
There... are... FOUR... lights! *FFFNNZZZZZOOWWNT*The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that time travel is...not fair.
You can't take the sky from me...
> Common, they already made it illegal to wear a gaz-mask during manifestations in some countries.
...
And here I just bought a new gaz-mask for the next time I manifest myself in Somalia. Nuts! I guess I shall just have to remain incorporeal
I, for one, welcome our nerve-vibrating microwave Hummer-mounted overlords who won't cause permanent, visible injury as long as we aren't wearing glasses or contacts.
Oblig.
So what's happening with the cops? They're on trial for murder, right?
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