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Bill Gates Denied Visa To Nigeria
Xight notes a Gizmodo story that is a few days old but hasn't gotten a lot of play. It seems that Nigeria recently denied Bill Gates a visa to travel there on his recent trip to Africa. The initial denial was "on the premise that they required proof he would not reside in Nigeria indefinitely, causing a strain on social services and a general nuisance for immigration." The comments to the post are worth reading too.
Wow I miss read that one...
I read it as "Bill Gates Denies Vista for Nigeria"
They would be very lucky if that was the case
"Bill Gates denied Vista to Nigeria"
For a moment I wondered if Microsoft was trying to do something about 419 scams.
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
...is if he plans to give away Vista CDs.
I know he's rich, but does he really have the power to deny credit cards to entire countries?
Bill Gates my Dear,
we are deeply grateful sorry to not be approval of your visa into the country of Nigeria. The reasons for not doing so are abundant in nature. Please to rectify the following dear concerns we have:
1) ur dick is 2 small. This pleases no Nigerian woman and is offensive toward the women. You think having average sized cock is OK? Regards, no.
2) we believe for you want to reside in Nigeria indefinitely, causing a strain on social services and a general nuisance for immigration. If this is not your meaningful wish, offer to us a letter in explanation.
3) You aren't really want to come to Nigeria, no? Tell us who you, in reality, are in person.
Nigerian customs will make you a real man!
Very Regards,
Nigerian Immigration.
If moderation could change anything, it would be illegal.
Hello, My Name is Bill Gates. Due to a recent administrative difficulty with the government of Nigeria, I himbly beseach your assistance in helping to move my $40,000,000,000 ass there. I will be so kind as to deposit a portion of this money in the account of your specification. Your assistance in this matter great isly apreciated, your servant, Bill Gates.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
who could possibly want to stay in nigeria indefinitely?
The BBC is now reporting that Bill Gates has purchased the entire country of Nigeria. According to insider sources massive restructuring will occur in order to bring the property back into profitability. Layoffs are expected.
Maybe they suspect he is actually looking for assistance in retrieving his significant fortune from the security company, where it is guarded by a mad chair-throwing bald man.
I suffer from attention surplus disorder.
A friend of a friend (OK, so this is probably just a joke...) is entering Australia for an extended work contract, and the immigration official asks him if he has ever been convicted of a crime in his country of origin. He replied, "I didn't realize that was still a requirement for entry."
If it's not a true story, it should be.
HexaByte - he's a square and a half!
We know he doesn't torture puppies for fun because he's too busy torturing users for profit!
Duh.
You are creating a visa. Cancel/Allow.
It could get even worse... I knew someone named Richard Wadd... those were some cruel parents...
Nephilium
Was Nigeria using signed ints to indicate an applicant's financial status? I could see Bill's balance causing an overflow and appearing in the negatives leading to misinterpretation...
-- Samir Gupta, Ph. D. Head, New Technology Research Group, Nintendo Co. Ltd., Kyoto, Japan.
...they never got the millions of dollars they expected after forwarding all those messages about Bill Gates sharing his fortune.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
From: billgates@microsoft.com
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1106
X-Mimeole: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1106
Date: Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:11:04 +0000
Dear friend,
This letter might come to you as a surprise as we have not met
before,but I believe that you would be compelled to help me after
going through the contents of this letter.
My name is William Henry Gates III, borned October 28, 1955. I am a
American entrepreneur, philantropist and chairman of Microsoft,
a american software companny.
Basically, I was involved in maintaining my statusquo as the richest
man in the world until August (2007), when a Mexican bilionaire called
Carlos Slim surpassed my wealthy in (1) billion american
dolars. He (Carlos Slim) did not stop at that; he also went on to
afirm that his monopoly would be larger than mine.
As at this momemt, I have grudgingly gone to Nigeria, in disguise, to
undertake seizure of a hiden part of my fortune, totalling an extra USD
$28,750,000,000 (twenty eight billion, seven hundred and fifty million
United State Dolars) that I obtained from several russian organizations
for facilitating scams, trojans and keyloggers business in Windows(tm)
systems. However, since I must fake otherwise, I can only
unlock the money in the local branch of my bank in Abuja, but I cannot
take the money back with me.
Hopefully, however, I can use the services of a Diplomatic Courier to move
this money (registered as official docments) out of Nigeria to America.
All you need to do is to claim this money from the Courier Company. You will
be required to contact the Courier Company that moved this money (oficial
documents) out of Nigeria to America. All neccesaries which can facilitate
andn enable you claim the money on my behalf will be forwarded to you as
soon as your consent to procced is received.
For your assistance, you will be entitled to 20% of the total sum. This is
over US $5,000,000,000 (five billion United State Dolars) for you, my friend.
Can you help me? Are you trustworthy? Can you handle this money? Are
you capable of handling this money? If so, please contact me.
I will send instructions on how you must make a (symbolic) small initial
deposit by Western Union or MoneyGram (at your personal choice) to the Courier
company which will be promptly returned to you, just to prove that you have
a working bank account that can receive the aforementioned large sum of money.
Please send me your account details and address so that we can make this
whole transaction as quick as possible.
Your sincerely,
Mr. William Henry Gates (the third)
They're afraid that if they let him work in their country, he'll take jobs away from other billionaires.
Table-ized A.I.
Give visa to Bill Gates? Cancel or Allow?
Speak for yourself, one of my ancestors was a document forger sent over on the first shipment, and I am damn proud to be descended from them (can you say, early software pirate) :P
...
Sorry about him, i think we just got internet access in our asylums or something.
This is a joke. I am joking. Joke joke joke.
Yeah, I've found that pointing stuff like this out to them doesn't generally expedite the process of going through immigrations though...
beauty is only a light switch away
Hmm. Mistreating Australian aborigines carried on with a vengeance long after colonial rule was abandoned. And for all that things have got better for aboriginal Aussies in recent years, there's still a lot of mistreatment going on. And I know it's not a simple situation and I know there's no easy solution (the bottom line is that abo culture doesn't fit in with the `modern Western culture' of `white' Australia - just sort something out, eh?) - but you can't blame us Brits for it all, you know. Only /some/ of it. Anyway, you need us for someone to beat at sport.
"...a loudmouth frat boy type living off his father's name." Hey, tell him he could be President of the U.S.
Heck yes. They can't get enough of cuckoo clocks, lederhosen and yodelling.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
My last two visits there THE POLICE tried to rob me
wow so what's it like getting robbed by Sting
Wow if you read that as "viagra" what the hell did you write in your essay?