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Genetic Modification Produces Mighty Mouse

Posted by Zonk on from the always-liked-danger-mouse-and-duckula-better dept.

Identity Missing writes "An Ohio laboratory has produced genetically modified mice which 'can run five to six kilometres at a speed of 20 meters per minute on a treadmill, for up to six hours before stopping,' as well as a number of other remarkable feats. An enzyme called phosphoenolypyruvate carboxykinases (PEPCK-C) is apparently responsible, and we should hope that the scientists are correct in saying that athletes won't be modifying their genes any time soon to get it, because it apparently makes the mice more aggressive. If anyone feels a super villain coming on, at least we can rely on these Mighty Mice. A video demonstrates just how much these little guys beat the competition."

26 of 320 comments (clear)

  1. What Are We Doing Tonight Brain? by AmIAnAi · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world.

    --
    Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
    1. Re:What Are We Doing Tonight Brain? by ZeroExistenZ · · Score: 4, Funny

      But Brain, why the toga? No one's worn those in years. Except for that one really strange man in Lancaster-Shire.

      --
      I think we can keep recursing like this until someone returns 1
    2. Re:What Are We Doing Tonight Brain? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

      "I think so Brain, but I don't think David Hasselhoff makes house calls"

  2. Well, you know the next step... by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 5, Funny

    Someone will just have to build a better mousetrap!

    --
    This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
    1. Re:Well, you know the next step... by salec · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or GM the cats same way, too!

    2. Re:Well, you know the next step... by c_sd_m · · Score: 2, Funny
      Depends on the side effects and permanence of the enhancement.

      P.S. please if you get a chanse put some flowrs on Algernon's grave in the bak yard.

    3. Re:Well, you know the next step... by Carthag · · Score: 3, Funny

      Tex Avery already explored the possibilites of the ever escalating war of ever-growing mice & cats, cf. King-Size Canary (1947). It doesn't bode well for us if we go down that line.

    4. Re:Well, you know the next step... by Belacgod · · Score: 4, Funny
      They'll be taken out by the Toyota cats and mice.

      Damn Japanese imports.

  3. So by hcdejong · · Score: 4, Funny

    Acme Labs is at it again?

  4. Whatever you do... by lonesome_coder · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...don't make them angry. You wouldn't like them when they are angry...

    --
    If you'd just do what we tell you and quit yer gripin' everything would be chocolate sprinkles and rainbows! -AC
  5. obligatory response by ByOhTek · · Score: 5, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, meme botches you!

    --
    Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
  6. Re:Let me be the first to say... by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here I come to save the day!

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  7. Cool. by Stanistani · · Score: 5, Funny

    Overclocked mice! Do they have an overheat problem?

    --
    You can't talk about Wikipedia's flaws on Wikipedia
  8. PEBCAK? by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 4, Funny

    Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard? I had no idea it could be applied for this purpose!

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    Comment of the year
  9. I have a mighty mouse.... by NPN_Transistor · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have a mighty mouse, yet it can't "run five to six kilometres at a speed of 20 meters per minute on a treadmill", feel aggression, or do "a number of other remarkable feats". All it does is sit in my hand and make clicking noises when I try to pet it. It runs a lot longer than "six hours", but it doesn't seem to do anything else. It doesn't seem to have any eyes or a tail either. I think it might be defective... maybe I should return it to Apple.

  10. Mighty? by robably · · Score: 5, Funny

    So the modified mouse runs on the treadmill for six hours, while the normal mouse has a nice sit down and watches it. Maybe this modification just makes mice stupid.

  11. Smarter mouse? by oo7tushar · · Score: 5, Funny

    All I see is the that the "slower" mouse realizes that they're going nowhere on the treadmill.

    --
    internet like monkeys'
  12. Re:RTFA much? by nomadic · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think you mean midichloridians.

  13. Re:20 meters to minute? Awesome! by SQLGuru · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, but what... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen genetically modified with PEPCK-C swallow?

    Layne

  14. Any improvement by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Any improvement over Apple's Mighty Mouse would be good. I mean squeezing the sides to activate button '4'. Come on!

  15. They need to create "Bunny" version by denis-The-menace · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Energizer battery company would pay big $ for such a LIVING mascot.
    With all that $, they'll be able to fund future research...

    --
    Obama's legacy: (N)othing (S)ecure (A)nywhere and (T)error (S)imulation (A)dministration
  16. Re:20 meters to minute? Awesome! by Clanked · · Score: 3, Funny

    A european or african swallow?

  17. Re:I for one by kurzweilfreak · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sure they remembered to build in a Lysine Contingency. It's SOP in these cases, ya know...

    --

    kurzweil_freak

    5th Kyu Genbukan Ninpo/KJJR student

    Be the darkness that allows the light to shine.

  18. Re:This has me worried by C0rinthian · · Score: 2, Funny

    Simple. You can tie little packages of Freedom to their backs and drop them into the Middle East.

    Of course, by "Freedom" I mean "High-Power Explosives"

  19. Mighty Mouse by Arancaytar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does it come with two buttons?

  20. Site not Slashdotted? by JJRRutgers · · Score: 4, Funny

    A direct link to a Quicktime movie on the headline and the host server didn't get slashdotted? I wonder if they applied the same genetic modification to the server?