Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Denies Sabotaging Mandriva Linux PC Deal
An anonymous reader writes "Microsoft has denied sabotaging Mandriva's deal with the Nigerian government to supply Classmate PCs from Intel along with a customized Mandriva Linux operating system. 'From Microsoft's perspective it's a matter of choice. In the statement sent to InternetNews.com, Microsoft said it believes individuals, governments and other organizations should be free to choose the software and other technologies that best meet their needs. "We are seeing strong market demand for Windows on low-cost devices to help governments in the areas of education, local innovation, and jobs and opportunity," the Microsoft spokesperson said in the statement.' The company's denial is in response to Mandriva's CEO Francois Bancilhon expression of disappointment with Microsoft."
"Microsoft has a strong relationship with the government in Nigeria and will continue to partner with government and industry to help meet their needs,"
How about "Microsoft has a strong relationship with the government and people in Nigeria and will continue to help meet their needs" ?
"Microsoft said it believes individuals, governments and other organizations should be free to choose the software and other technologies that best meet their needs"
That choice is Vista Basic, Vista Home Premium, Vista Business, Vista Ultimate. Microsoft will do anything to make sure that they get a stronghold in emerging markets, they don't care what's best for the user (of course sometimes windows is the best option, doesn't mean it is all the time)
"Microsoft has strong (relatively cheap) relationship with the government in Nigeria and will continue to give them cash."
Well, they can't afford for whole countries to escape the Windows hegemony.. It makes "business sense" for Microsoft to 'gift' or 'donate' whole slews of Windows licenses to a government to keep them in the fold. So then everyone else will need Microsoft to interoperate with them.
Their whole argument of "people should be free to choose the best software for the task" is a little tongue in cheek. After all, the initial procurement was probably far more lengthy and in depth than the quick 'jerk' reaction to taking MS on board afterwards. They did probably buy what was best for their requirements in the first place.
It would be interesting to see what laws on software dumping are present in Nigeria (not many, I'd estimate), so yes, they're obeying Nigerian law. Not necessarily the law as applies to the country that any given reader may be in.
So, they can happily state that while engaging in business practices that are illegal in countries other than the one they are making that transaction.
This kind of U turn (and added expenditure, if obeying the normal laws of the Western World) is not really possible without "greasing the wheels"..
Smoke and mirrors once again, Microsoft.
"We are seeing strong market demand for Windows on low-cost devices ..."
And so they respond with ending Win98 and WinXP while pushing Vista in spite of the fact that the vast majority of users don't want it?
I suppose by "their needs" they mean "Microsoft's needs". And the government has money and power, the people don't.
Yes, business can be cutthroat at times, but when you get a tiny competitor's product to not be used even after being ordered by the customer and yours to replace it, things seem highly suspect. Since this is in Nigeria I presume no anti-trust actions will occur, but the relevant officials should take note.
I used to feel that way until I saw the Search Doggy in XP. How can you dislike a company that makes an OS with a Search Doggy?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=xp+search+dog&btnG=Google+Search
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
But if they say it wasn't them, it must be one of those freak events we keep reading about in News of the World.
May contain traces of nut.
Made from the freshest electrons.
They managed to make the Nigerian government pay twice for an operating system. Better than all the 419ers combined. Kudos to MS. Now, please deliver Vista to those sons of too.
So what's the big deal at the end of the day? It's a shame, but the Nigerian goverment could have just NOT gone with Mandriva at all.
To an extent this is moot since the investigation will proceed at a glacial pace and by the time that it concludes it will all be a done deal.
Do they also deny trying to sabotage Java, DrDOS, SPF, ISO standardization process or ECMA4?
In one sense, the guy is right. The deal wasn't sabotaged, in the sense that the computers are being purchased with Mandriva.
OTOH, MS can't allow a large number of users to be exposed to Open Source software, so...
the fox denied eating the chicken.
"Blood? What blood? Thats not chicken blood,
it is ketchup. I am a vegetarian!"
Thomas
Microsoft's conviction for monopolistic practices in the EEC argues strongly against their spokesman's statement. Of course, when has a spokesman for a large corporation, especially MicroDreck, said anything that was more than tangentially connected with the objective truth?
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
Cmon, for a PR persn,that is effectivly an admission of guilt, with a statement of "too bad, it is not illegal" tacked on.
"Microsoft has denied sabotaging Mandriva's deal with the Nigerian government..."
Then why is the Nigerian Government still paying Mandriva for the contract they was happy with (and still appear to be happy with it)? This is so obviously MS bunging them money AFTER they lost the fight, and telling them "Here you are, here is a few million to get rid of that and install Windows - we will pay for the loss".
I've been reading the comments here and the comments on the previous article, and I'm surprised to see something missing.
Show of hands:
1. Who knows that Nigeria is an oil producing nation?
2. Who knows the Nigerian people see barely a thin dime of the money?
The government of Nigeria has shown itself to be easily corrupted at the expense of the people. See wikipedia and read the part about the government. It's not hard to imagine something crooked going on with this.
Any word on how M$ is going to avoid massive amounts of pirating of software by unleashing their steaming pile of OS on a 3rd world nation? Or do they just assume that everybody there will pirate the stuff anyway so they just want to "sell" a few licenses in the process?
Hey Microsoft, are you now starting to realize that you are unable to compete in the marketplace without using the tainted money from your cash-cow monopoly?
Remember, MS is the crack coke dealer - at first, they don't care if they give it away (as it appears has happened here) as long as they get people 'hooked' and tied in.
MS would rather somebody use a pirated copy of Windows rather than use another OS.
This is just usual business for MS - perhaps the most immoral and unethical company ever know in the modern world.
... bribery is legal in Nigeria. Not surprising.
Brings a new meaning to the words "Nigerian Scammer".
12 or so years ago the days I sysadmined in an educational/research outfit in Eastern Europe. There was a 100% correlation between the so called local Microsoft rep for Education knowing about a shipment with Unix kit and the kit stolen at the cargo terminal. This was before the days of CCTV in the cargo areas at Sofia Airport so the interested parties had on the average between 2 and 12 hours to deal with all interesting containers and packages before they went through customs. In order to do that they needed one thing - to know which container is interesting.
Once we made sure that the aforementioned individual no longer had any information the shipments started arriving unmolested (not counting a dent or two in transit).
On top of that the aforementioned rep was handing out cracked copies of MSFT products the way drug dealers hand out cocaine laced candy to kids to anyone who wanted them.
This all continued until the country economy picked up enough. And then, you know the drill... Bill Gates having a meeting with the president on the subject of rampant software piracy and so on. The rep went to work elsewhere and claimed that he never ever had any relation with Microsoft. And so on...
Nuff said. No further comment necessary.
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
I've seen cases like this before in the hardware business. Not very often, but it does happen occasionally. After a long hard sales cycle, Neal Nanotech decides to buy something from that hot new startup, Tyrell Corpration. The sales team from Cyberdyne Systems decides that they can't afford to lose NN as a customer, since they'll lose not only future sales and the income from the maintenance contract, but Tyrell will be able to use NN as a refernce in future ad campaigns. So, there's one last big push to a Senior VP, the President, or even the CEO. Typically, Cyberdyne offers a trade-in allowance for all of the Tyrell product at NN's full purchase price, while discounting Cyberdyne's prduct just enough to equal the trade-in. This way, NN isn't out any money (at least not initially) while Cyberdyne avoids violations of any anti-dumping laws. Cyberdyne then sends the brand-new Tyrell products straight to the recycling center. (Or maybe they resell it on eBay, with a good long offer period. "Look here, Mr. Potential Customer! How good can Tyrell's product be if people are dumping unopened boxes of it on eBay?")
Nothing for 6-digit uids?
I might have missed something, but I don't see why Mandriva is going out on a limb here. They did sell the computers and OS, Microsoft didn't change that.
The costumer got what was ordered and then wants to change the OS (seems to be okay when the OS is change to Linux, imagine that). It _is_ their computers, they can more or less do what they want with them now.
Carbon based humanoid in training.
Warren Buffett's billions in funny money will turn over to The Gates Foundation in January. Operating under the guise of a 'charity' allows Gates to further his political agenda and heave crates of MS software around without oversight or overhead of needing to show a business case or reporting to the board.
Look to see MS spinmeisters focusing on licensing costs so that interoperability, standards compliance, flexibility, security and ease of maintenance stay out of the picture.
Cocaine or Heroine.
Microsoft let you freely choose to what you'll become addicted.
"Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]
How much Fear Uncertainty, Confusion, Extortion, and Doubt will be needed to maintain the revenue growth? (Someone please give me a good K-word to make a good acronym to upgrade FUD).
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
The interesting point is that Microsoft cared to reply to Mandriva. I thought that such a huge mastodonte as Microsoft don't care about small businesses like Mandriva. I find that the mere fact that Microsoft replied something is interesting.
either the person in charge has no clue about the IT world (in which case he shouldn't be in charge for this decision) or he was bribed - there is no other credible explanation for this step (all of a sudden paying extra for redundant software)
The MAFIAA is a bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes
Its called business, if you offer a 'sweeter' deal then the next guy, be it by a better products or deeper discounts, you make the sale.
This is hardly even news.
---- Booth was a patriot ----
BULLSHIT.
In one conversation I had with my Nigerian-born business partner (OK stop laughing I'm serious. He's been a naturalized citizen for ten years, is a Christian, the son of a pastor, and I know one of his brothers as well. He's good people.) I learned that it's very much like India multiplied in that no decisions are made without palms being greased. I also learned that Nigerians who come to America will not do business with other Nigerians due to the level of corruption. It's not that all Nigerians are corrupt, it's just that corruption is so pervasive that they don't trust one another.
(Interesting thing about him: he's very suspicious, is more pro-American than most native-born Americans, gets far more involved in politics than most of us do, and yet when he sees evil going on in this country he doesn't complain. He just laughs and says evil people will do evil things, and what can be accomplished by talking about it and then continues on with his work. As an aside, he's the most productive worker I've ever encountered as well.)
My guess? Some official initially chose Linux as the sensible solution, and then Microsoft's money greased a high-level official's palms. I don't think it's necessarily Microsoft that did it, but a third party (plausible deniability, elimination of a paper trail involving even swag, etc.) which somehow benefits from the sale of Windows rather than installation of a(n) (inexpensive|free)/free OS.
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
How many companies out there care for what's "best for the user" if it doesn't involve their products?
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
Hey, Microsoft can get us computer users here in North America to pay twice for a computer operating system too. Once for the Vista license, and then a second time for the XP license ...
At least the Nigerian's only pay Microsoft once!
I thought Microsoft was smart enough to avoid making any statement to these regards, I guess I was wrong. Although I feel relieved I am not dependent on their software anymore...
Copyright infringement is "piracy" in the same way DRM is "consumer rape"
Correction: Windows is never the best option when you compare its price, performance, stability, security and out-of-the-box functionality with any other desktop or server operating system available today. However, it is, unfortunately, often the only option available, especially when it comes to many business applications. That's what I meant
In the previous thread on this issue, someone noted that this choice can in no way benefit the Nigerians, as in Linux you have a larger choice of free/opensource software than in Windows. I think that was an excellent point, and one I'd like the nigerian bigshot who made the decision of removing Linux to replace it with Windows, reply to.
Unless, of course, everybody involved just assumes that the Windows applications will be pirated. In which case, Microsoft is complacent and at least implicitly endorsing piracy.
"The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
"We are seeing strong market demand for Windows on low-cost devices to help governments in the areas of education, local innovation, and jobs and opportunity," the Microsoft spokesperson said in the statement.
- Which market, the US?
- Low-cost devices demand a low-cost OS, not one that costs the same as the hardware (or more)
- Education & local innovation by Windows? Most applications are shareware and innovation is killed by OS license & closed source
- Jobs & opportunity, by demanding technicians for the buggy OS, and demanding that each takes a lame MCSE license to get a job?
Their own statement stands against them... one just have to look at it from a non-MS angle.
Mod points are a dangerous tool. Abuse them wisely.
Who, Microsoft? No, they were just being competitive.
I'm not sure this AC is really trolling. I mean this is pretty much how I feel about it too. They're all a bunch of liars trying to see which one can spin out the right lie to get the sheeple to bend over and take some more. shrug.
man, I feel like mold.
We know from the letter, that the devices will be shipped with Mandriva Pre-installed. And that Mandriva has already been paid. It also seems likely that money has already changed hands in favor of the Nigerian government to support this "sudden change of heart".
Now, suppose you are one of the teachers that evaluated, and "qualified" the mandriva solution that comes pre-installed on the laptops, and you get this CD that says "Take 200 hours and install this untested, mystery OS on all 200 of your schools laptops, destroying the one you are already familiar with." How likely are you to actually comply? Will it come to MS deploying goons to ensure the software gets installed?
From a country that specializes in "Wire us some $$$ and you will be rich", it may be the case that MS marketing drones may be experiencing the joys of an industrial-scale 419 scam.
Usage: fortune -P [-f] -a [xsz] Q: file [rKe9] -v6[+] file1
Mandriva didn't have an office in west Africa until January of this year.
In contrast, Microsoft has hundreds of millions of users world-wide, directly employs 31,000 people abroad and has billions to spend on development projects in Africa and elsewhere in the third world.
A search of allAfrica.com" returns 1,300 hits for Microsoft and Nigeria in English alone.
Dismiss as many of these stories as you like as PR. The reality remains that to a Financial Minister, the Minister of Education, a partnership with Microsoft can make very good sense.
NGLUG, the Nigerian Linux Users Group presents an earnest face. But stories such as these suggest that Linux has a long way to catch up with Microsoft in West Africa:
Linux girl bags first Novell certification in Nigeria [2005]
"You are the first Lady CLE in Africa and the first CLE in Nigeria - you have the highest mark so far amongst the other CLE's in Africa including South Africa."
"Linux Accademy of Nigeria has not started training and I have not found someone who knows when they will start." [August 2007]
I can't imagine that they would react any other way, unless it was by just ignoring the accusations. They certainly couldn't admit it.
OTOH, I'm not sure that "tortous interference with a business relationship" is an international crime, so maybe they *could* have safely admitted it. But if they did I'd imagine it might show up in various legal hearing on illegal monopolies (illegal use of monopoly?).
MS: Campaigning for the role of most loathed international criminal conspiracy.
I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
...when they realize that those 1 GB Mandriva Classmate PCs will need a 2GB flash chip to run Microsoft crapware.
More than 60,000 Windows programs won't run on Linux.
I think its called competition.
Did you even read your own link? The anti dumping law is written to prevent foreign governments dumping below-cost products into the US market. Last I check, Microsoft isn't a foreign government and Nigeria isn't the US market.
Is...is that MY hand in the cookie jar?!
No, I deny it.
My hand has a strong relationship with the gov...er cookie jar and will continue to partner with said cookie jar and cookies to help meet their needs.
Most people aren't thought about after they're gone. "I wonder where Rob got the plutonium" is better than most get.
Citizens of Nigeria, see what's happening in your country. Get to know how your tax paid money is spent by your government officials on software licenses. Can your government afford to change decisions after the lengthy evaluation and pay two vendors?
François could have appealed to the people pf Nigeria in his blog rather than openly accusing Ballmer.
Sudheer Satyanarayana
www.techchorus.net
I wonder, when was the last time I read about a Linux deal of this sort that Microsoft didn't sabotage?
Microsoft doesn't have any sense of ethics. They have a pervasive psychopathic corporate culture and it starts right at the top. Balmer himself flew to Germany in an effort to sway the IBM/Munchen deal after it was signed with 'special offers', which to me is an attempt at bribery, but a psychopath won't see it that way.
Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
Option a) Install Linux
Option b) Install Windows and have lots $$$ appears in your Swiss account
Take your time, you have a completely free choice....
No sig today...
"Microsoft said it believes individuals, governments and other organizations should be free to choose the software and other technologies that best meet their needs"
If Microsoft really were for "choice", they would stop swinging deals with computer manufacturers to try to assure that every computer in existence is sold with Windows pre-installed. First-time users don't "choose" - the learn how to use first thing they see when they turn on the computer - and Microsoft knows this very well. In fact, they owe their entire fortune to this tactic. Oh, I'm sure that after the user has spent months "learning" to deal with all Windows' quirks, and after understanding that he won't be able to communicate easily with any other computer that isn't Windows-run (because they all came pre-installed too), that they will feel the "need" to buy Windows product when it comes time to update - but how about giving the consumer the choice before he buys a computer?
The funniest thing in all this is that there are other just as good (if not better) OS's out there that will work on the same machine for free - now, when striking a deal with a developing country, would this not be in their real interests? But no, Microsoft wants to take its "brainwash and dependency" techniques to even the poorest countries - and make them pay for it just as we did, even if most there can't afford it. There is an expletive-laden post above labelled "flaimbait" that did a perfect job of echoing the thoughts that went through my head after reading the Microsoft "statement".
No, no sig. Really.
ThePromenader
Nope, the pointiest tip of the food chain is .... Woman.
Nigerian Law is based on British law which has at it's heart "No one is above or below the law" originally from Magna Carta. Older residents of the USA will remember this because they used to have it as well. This is not a case where you can blame an inferior legal system, it's a very similar legal system to what is seen in many states of the USA and almost identical to that of Canada and Australia. Enforcement is a different story in a troubled country.
Linux is a free download, no one can stop anyone from using it.
Since that sort of things happen everyday in my country, and non-rich countries are almost always plagued with corruption, I'm sure they bribed them. Absolutely sure. Not that bribing does not occur in rich countries, but I sense governments seem to give a bit more thought to their people's best interest - not much, but I think that largely changes the outcome.
Wow! I'm going to make up unrealistic anti-Microsoft stories and post them too with absolutely no supporting evidence!
7 years ago I was working as a dog walker in Seattle. One day Bill Gates pulled over in his limo and proceeded to kick every single dog in the ribcage while yelling "what's the frequency, Kenneth!?" repeatedly. Then he pulled an infant out of a nearby stroller and use it as a step to get back in his limo! The End.
Comment of the year
"they don't care what's best for the user ". Haha. Are you being serious right now? For real - did you just say that and mean it? That's retarded. Of course they don't care what's best for the user, only an idiot would think they did. It's called "business" - look it up. You try to sell your product whether it's the best or not. Good god. Does McDonald's, Coke, Google, Yahoo, Redhat, or any company care what's "best for the user"? Is Redhat going to come in and say "gee, you know, I think you should use Solaris!". Give me an f'ing break.
Windows is often the best option when it comes to applications (new, old, 3rd party, and MS apps) and long term support. To many people, that other stuff you mentioned just isn't that important. Windows is often reasonably priced when bundled with new computers, discounted with upgrade pricing, or volume licensed. Vista's performance and stability is rarely a problem for hardware that's less than three years old (except for PCs with 512MB of RAM) and doesn't suck (beware of VIA "cheapsets"). The functionality of Windows-only applications they already own or plan to buy/download is often more important than "out-of-box" functionality that comes with the OS.
That's terrible! I never cared much for Gates' business practices, but I never thought he was such a horrible person!
Thank you for sharing with us what that monster is really like. Boycott Microsoft!
Nobody changes the world by saying "That's the way it is, nothing ever changes." By encouraging others to accept this corrupt and damaging mindset, you are being a coward. You believe you can't change it so you won't fight for it. Because you won't fight for it you tell yourself anyone would be a fool to do so... then you don't feel like a coward.
Let me make it clear that you are being one. Never encourage people to accept corruption and live with it.
Yeah, I'm with you on that. I think his delivery is terrible, but his point is very valid. I wanted to mod him up, but there were some comments I just had to reply to.
I lost my ability to mod by replying to a comment on this story - but the parent really doesn't seem to be flamebait. His reasoning is fair and his karma shouldn't suffer. He doesn't use strong language or provocative vocab, either. I think he got shafted.
Microsoft believes in choice?!!??? What utter, complete bullshit.
If that is so, why can't I walk into any computer retailer and order a computer with my CHOICE of a blank drive, a linux distro, etc.? Could it be that M$ forces OEMs into antichoice agreements?
Because Microsoft is about as far from being about 'choice' as we are from the centre of the universe...
Microsoft should learn their place and get lost.
They're denying to have bribed people? How strange : I believed that they would admit :)
;)
Of course they won't admit it, unless it can pe proved that someone did it... And if that were the case, I'm sure they would state that some of their employee went beyond their control -- like the bribery case in sweden for the iso acceptance/refusal of the ooxml. They're pretty like that, microsoft's employees : so devoted to their entreprise that they would go against all laws and ethics for their bosses. Yup.
And after that, it's linux supporters that are called zealots
You have quite obviously never ever met the people who work for it in the third world.
There is a reason why Microsoft wins most of its market wars in emerging markets ya know. And it is definitely not by playing "fair" and obeying the law. Sometimes it fires in its face (like the case with the teacher from Samara this year), but usually it wins.
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
- MS actually manage to produce a new OS which is actually less bloated than their predecessors
- That the new MS OS proves to be so slow and bloated an insecure, it is dumped in a very public manner bringing shame to MS, and the OLPCs are reloaded with linux, the cost of which has to be born by MS
I just thought of another...Sorry, got carried away.
Anyone stop to think Nigeria is the one pulling the strings here, not MS. I'm sure the Nigerian government was approached by MS before they decided to go with Mandriva. So why would they bait and switch? If they went with MS first they would pay top dollar. So they choose Mandriva to bait MS, then MS comes begging for them to use their OS. My guess MS gave them some sweet deal, either support and/or reduced or free software. Nigeria is not a innocent country by any means, they are one of the most corrupt governments on the planet. No matter what you think of MS Nigeria is worse! Also, don't play the sympathy card "they are a developing nation". They are a developing nation because their government is corrupt from the all the oil money they take.
Iraq billions
$400,000 marketing fee paid to Microsoft "Partner" in Nigeria divided by 17,0000 units. Looks like a clear case of dumping, which is against the law in the United States -- one of the companies that Microsoft operates under. The competition law in Nigeria is unknown -- probably UK competition law from the time of independence, and seldom enforced.
I believe that in the United States, assuming that the above report is true, it would be easier to prove dumping as the marketing fee would make the cost of the provided software negative $23 per unit. The marketing fee is a thin disguise for providing the units at negative cost, even if the charge per unit is the developing country (anticompetitive) price of $10 per unit that was supplied in Thailand and the like.
Tell you what. Give me one piece of supporting evidence. ONE PIECE. And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and considering the entire story gospel. But as is, all you're doing is weaving horror stories in front of the campfire-- sorry, I'm not the kind of believe in urban legends.
Comment of the year
I suggest you check with the Humboldt foundation and ask them exactly what happened with the Aphaservers they tried to ship to the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences in July 1998 and the full list of people who knew about their arrival as well as their affiliation. Nuff said. Have a nice day.
Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
http://www.sigsegv.cx/
bande de fumiers
quels salopards de voleurs ces Kro$oftiens
Dear Beautiful Mackenzie (an Actual Girl):
I'd like to sneak up behind you and start fondling you violently and then as you struggle to try to escape I'll take a scientifically-proven magic petrification ray from my bag and zap you with it, and it would first disintegrate all your clothing, leaving you gloriously naked, then it would start the process of transforming your body into marble, inducing in you a massive magically-induced which would be captured eternally as your body is turned into solid stone from the feet up to the head gradually, freezing your final moan of ecstasy as you become a beautiful, cold lifeless statue, but with your mind still alive inside the statue, aware of everything that happens to you. I would put you in display in art museums so that everyone could admire your spectacular naked & petrified teen body, then I would put you on a pedestal in my apartment and admire you constantly, and climb up on the pedestal and make love to your stony form, getting my penis raw & red from the friction, and covering your beautiful hard marble skin with my spooge, my beloved naked-and-petrified queen.
(NOTE: This is just a fantasy; I would not actually do this.)
p.s. I like masturbating to your Blogspot picture